NCIS

Chapter three

Give me strength to breathe

"DiNozzo go tell McGee to release the witness to the custody of her family. I need to go down to Abby." Gibbs instructed the senior agent as they stepped into the elevator together.

Tony paused after pushing the button to their office level. "I thought you wanted to question the witness Boss."

"Maybe I changed my mind," Gibbs barked. "Do you have a problem with that?!"

"No Boss not at all. It's your decision." Tony answered.

"You're damn right it is." Gibbs grumbled.

Tony waited for the elevator to stop and for Gibbs to get off on Abby's floor. Gibbs said nothing as he exited the elevator and marched toward the lab doors. When the doors to the elevator closed he completely lost it.

He started punching the metal until his knuckles bled and his adrenaline was pumping. His eyes were full of tears and his heart broken. She was all he had and that's what he remembered her as. What he hated most was that what Kate said earlier was true.

He did date girls who cared more about what he looked like and fell for the stupid things that he said. She was right in saying that he was a juvenile, immature, frat boy all the time. But what really broke his heart was the fact that he dated these women and fed them lines because he thought that it would help him forget. He needed it to help him forget but it only made him think of her more and the fact that Gibbs let him do that because he felt it was what Tony needed too was slowly killing him.

They both knew that he was not this guy, this serial dater before this happened. He was not even this guy before she was in his life. He used to know who he was and now he was not so sure.

He stopped when his knuckles started to swell and he could no longer feel his fingers at all. He backed away from the doors toward the wall in the back and fell to the floor where he hugged his knees to his chest and buried his face in the folds of his jacket sleeves to quiet his sobs even though nobody could hear him.

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"Abby." Gibbs put a hand on her shoulder and she jumped. The forensic scientist took off her headphones and draped them around her neck.

"Sorry Gibbs, I just thought I'd keep it quiet in here today out of respect, I wasn't expecting you to be back so soon." She said in a melancholy tone.

"What are you listening to?" Gibbs asked standing behind her and looking at her computer screen.

"Nothing." She answered too quickly and minimized her iTunes window.

Gibbs was quicker and yanked out the cord that connected the headphones to the computer and was haunted by a familiar singing voice which filled the room.

"I thought we agreed that you weren't going to listen to her anymore, Abby." The irritation in his voice made Abby squirm.

"No Gibbs you agreed that I wouldn't I never actually said anything." Abby bit back and for now Gibbs let her. He knew that it was Abby's personal tradition since Brooke died to listen to her music on the anniversary of her death and also her birthday.

"What can I do for you?" Abby asked renewing her smile.

"I need you to fingerprint this ring for me." From his pocket Gibbs extracted the ring which he bagged and tagged on his way from the clearing to the car earlier.

Abby took the evidence bag from his hands and looked through the plastic at the ring. She grabbed a pair of gloves and put them on then took out the piece of jewelry.

"Looks like it came right out of The Godfather," She turned it over in her hands and noticed the engraving. "No." She whispered looking back at Gibbs.

"Yeah, I know." Gibbs answered back. "Get me those fingerprints."

"No Caf-Pow?" Abby looked at him with a somewhat disappointed tone of eyes.

Not until I get those damn fingerprints." Gibbs growled and turned away from Abby.

She watched him leave and waited until she heard the elevator doors close before she went through the doors to the other section of the lab where her desk was.

"You can come out now, he's gone."

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MIT Early May Senior year; Two weeks to graduation

"Do you think you'll have enough time to write, special agents don't exactly have a whole lot of spare time. I mean my Dad is building a boat because his three ex wives are gone for the anyway he usually works on it late at night sometimes all night in order to get it finished which goes to show that he doesn't have much time on his hands."

He chuckled at all she had to say. "What are you nervous about this time?"

"What, who said anything about being nervous?" She asked defensively before taking a sip of her chardonnay.

"Brooke we've known each other since eighth grade, been best friends since high school, and live together in the same apartment," He smiled. "You tend to ramble when you are nervous about something." He pointed out.

She sighed and put her glass down on the table of the Italian bistro just off campus which they were occupying. "Nothing gets by you Timmy."

"Enlighten me on your situation." He replied sipping his own wine.

"We graduate in less than two weeks and I have yet to come up with a meaningful piece that is to be considered a valedictory address." She said breathlessly.

"That is something I have a difficult time believing, you are an excellent writer, almost as good as me." McGee joked and added a wink.

"You're twice the writer I will ever be." She complimented him with a warm smile.

"I don't know if that's true but even if it is that doesn't mean you can't write a speech that will blow everyone away."

"That right there is why I love you so much Timothy McGee, you always know exactly what to say." She smiled at him and covered his hand with hers.

"Not always Brooke, in fact hardly ever but I do try."

"Trying can lead to greatness."

McGee smiled. "I think you just found your opening statement Miss Valedictorian."

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McGee sighed softly while still standing by the window in the conference room. The woman who found the body sat at the table with her husband and father causing McGee to think about how Tony and Gibbs must feel when they see families like this, especially with the date being the reminder of the worst day of their lives and his.

"McGee!" The four in the room snapped their heads up when Tony entered the room each of them staring at the sight of his unprofessional appearance. His eyes were red and glazed over, his jacket was slung over his arm and his shirt sleeves were rolled up revealing bloody knuckles and scratches.

"They're free to go." He snapped at McGee and avoided looking at the family at any cost.

"What do you mean, Gibbs-"

"-Told me to send them home." Tony said cutting him off.

The two men rose but the young woman remained seated staring at the table.

"Brooke, are you coming?" Tony felt as though he had been shot through the heart at the sound of the name belonging to his wife. He looked at the woman then at her husband who walked back to her and put a hand on her shoulder, something he would have done to his Brooke if she was as scared as this girl seemed to be.

"You might want to call your Boss down here Agent DiNozzo, because I have something I need to tell him."

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Once Ducky and Palmer got the body into autopsy Kate left them to do their work. She wanted answers to her multiplying questions but after the way that Ducky reacted in the clearing she decided it'd be best to answer them elsewhere in her own way.

She left autopsy and waited for the doors of the elevator to open and once they did she wished she had thought to take the stairs. Tony was in the elevator again sitting on the floor. He had one leg stretched out in front of him and rested his arm on the other. He was looking at a picture in his hands.

"Tony." He looked up at the sound of her voice and nodded once at her.

"Hey." He muttered groggily.

"I'll just take the stairs." She turned to walk away but he stopped her without moving.

"It is fine Kate, you can ride with me." He mumbled quietly.

Kate turned back and hesitated for a moment before entering the elevator and sitting beside him. "Tony I'm-"

"Here," Tony passed the picture he was staring at to Kate. "Those are my girls."

For a moment Kate looked confused when he pluralized the word but when she looked at the picture of a green eyed brunette holding a redheaded two year old with her eyes and his smile she realized that he didn't just lose a wife but a daughter as well.

She looked over at him and handed the picture back. "Tony, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, I forgive you. I mean being how I am now towards women I'm not surprised that you thought it was all a joke." Tony replied wearily as he tucked the picture into the breast pocket of his shirt.

Kate sighed softly not knowing what to say but she was curious. "What was your daughter's name?"

"Shannon, we named her after Brooke's Mom, Gibbs' first wife." Tony answered as he looked at her.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to but….how did they die?" Kate hoped that he didn't think she was prying.

Tony took a deep breath and didn't answer right away. After a minute during which Kate didn't think he was going to answer he finally did.

"Brooke started getting distracted at work. I tried to get it out of her but she just wouldn't tell me what was going on. She wouldn't even tell Gibbs or Tim." Tony explained softly.

"She was working a private job." Kate assumed.

Tony nodded looking at his hands. He still wore the ring but since she died it was on his right hand instead of the left. "She had been working an undercover for Jenny."

"Was her cover blown?" Kate wondered cautiously. She was afraid of setting him off again but her curiosity was getting the best of her.

"Yeah, at least that's what Jenny told me. Brooke went in alone and she died alone. I should have been there to save her, it should have been me."

Kate sighed and placed her hand on his shoulder to comfort him. "Sometimes things happen that are out of our control."

Tony looked back at her and she couldn't help but notice the tears in his eyes. "Yeah I know, but that doesn't make the pain go away." He sighed heavily and looked back at his hands.

"What about Shannon?" Kate asked softly.

"Shannon was killed in a car accident, it was my fault. Don't try to tell me it wasn't. It was just after we got home from Brooke's funeral. I was inside with the family and she was outside. I had no idea. She must have slipped out or something. I didn't notice until I heard the tires…there was so much blood for such a little girl." He whispered the last of the explanation and Kate felt a tear of her own fall down her cheek.

"I'm so sorry Tony." Kate muttered. She didn't know what else to say and seeing this side of Tony made her realize that her impression of him was a little off.

"Brooke loved the job but she got in over her head. Shannon had her whole life ahead of her. I hate myself for not being able to protect my girls. I failed them. "

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There was nothing left for him to do but wait at his desk and play it back in his head until Abby called him down for the results. He was so deep in thought staring at her picture that he did not hear the elevator or see the two agents approach his desk.

"Boss." He looked up when Tony address him and he ignored Kate upon seeing her standing there as well. He saw the weariness in Tony's eyes and sighed. He wished he could tell Tony what she wanted him to know.

"Yeah, what is it DiNozzo." He asked simply.

"Witness wants to see you, says she's got something to tell you." Tony mumbled.

"Is McGee still with her?"

"Yeah."

"Right," Gibbs got up and started toward the stairs up to the conference room. "Hey, come on!" He nodded at Tony who glanced at Kate quickly before striding up the stairs after Gibbs.

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"I don't know that I can do this Abby." She said quietly pacing around the lab.

"Of course you can, if anyone can do this it's you." The gothic woman reassured her.

The brunette shook her head. "What am I supposed to say to them, they are not going to understand what happened." She started tapping the pencil in her hand against the palm of her other rapidly.

"You aren't going to know that for sure if you don't try and explain it to them." Abby told her.

"This whole situation is just completely insane." She sighed heavily. "Do you think they suspect anything?" She wondered.

"Well we already know that they found it and I am willing to bet that it was read by at least one of them. But if you're asking me if I think they know who he is and where you've been I'd have to say no but if you don't come forward soon they are going to figure out what really went down." Abby explained.

Her companion nodded. "I was afraid you would say that."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you." Abby got up from her chair and walked over to her long time friend and hugged her tightly. "Everything will be alright if you want me to I will be there when you tell them." She offered.

"Thank you Abby, I love you for that but I think this is one of those things I have to do on my own."

"I understand that." Abby said still hugging her. "I missed you so much you know that?"

The girl could feel Abby's tears on the side of her face as well as her own.

"I missed you like crazy too Abs." They both laughed and pulled away to look at each other.

"You're back for good right?" Abby had to ask even though she knew the answer.

"If this is as real as I think it is then I'm not going anywhere."

Abby laughed. "Now that is what I like to hear."

The girl with her smiled. "Do you think I could use your cell, I need to make a call."