A/N: a little A/N as usual before beginning. Now I know that has set a rule prohibiting the use of A/N inside a story, thus this will probably be the last time I'd do it but for now, it's a must so, sorry but screw your rules for this one. I owe my readers too much to be concerned with a rule and not tell them what's been happening. So to make a long story short, I was hit by a massive writer block as well as a prehistoric illness called laziness and not to mention other reasons which mostly revolve around 'being busy with life', so I was in a hiatus for quite some time (last time I check, I added chapter 9 in february, that means I've been neglecting my duty as a writer for about 4-5 months more or less, wow, my bad, really, sorry). But now, allow me to redeem myself by presenting you this new chapter freshly cooked from the oven. Now I must admit that I've had the plot all worked out and have begun writing this chapter not too long after chapter 9 but due to reasons that I've mentioned up above (which I'm not proud of, mind you), I haven't been able to finish up 'on time'. Not only that but I must admit that the way I've written this chapter isn't too much to my liking as I feel that there's something off but at least I can still say that I like it to some extent so I'm very sorry if it's the same for you guys. If there's anything that displease you, please do tell me about it and I'll try to rewrite it (but I can't promise anything). Another thing I must apologize for is the length of this chapter which is shorter than the previous chapter, I have to somewhat rush the explanation so there isn't much actions going on which is also due to the point of view of this chapter because you see, this chapter is a bit different from previous chapters as it's read from the pov of Sakura as it takes place in her mind or something, so yeah. All in all, I believe that must be everything, I'll try to continue on updating more often and with a better quality but for now I hope you can enjoy it even with all its weaknesses. Thank you.
Chapter X - the Reality of a Dream: Freeze the Pendulum
"… It's dark. Why is it so dark? Why does it feel like everything's passing me by? Or is it that I'm passing them by? Why can't I move my body? Where am I? What happened? Why can't I say anything? Why doesn't my voice coming out? Why is it so dark?
"Ah wait, I can feel something. I can start to feel something. What is it? Is this… light? No, this is… me? Yamato-sensei? Sai?
"… Naruto…?
"What is this? No, wait… this is… that day?
"…This… is this… my memory?"
I can feel myself facing my own memories like watching a slide show. The space around me is pitch black with only one long line of what seems like a line of moving pictures, rolling endlessly from one end to another. I am standing in front of a particular scene, the scene of that faithful day.
In that scene, there are six people rounded inside an oval room. They're Tsunade-shishou, Shizune-san, Yamato-sensei, Sai, me, and Naruto. I, Yamato-sensei, Sai, and Naruto are facing Tsunade-shishou and Shizune-san. It's the day of the briefing.
"We have received a new Intel," Tsunade-shishou said, opening the conversation.
"Ah? What is it, baa-chan?" Naruto said rudely as usual and I can see myself punching him for being impolite yet Tsunade-shishou only gave him a glare as usual.
"It's about the whereabouts of Orochimaru and that Uchiha boy, Sasuke…" she continued, earning my and Naruto's attention the most.
"What! Sasuke!? You've found where they are, baa-chan!?"
"… Sasuke-kun…" I see myself muttering his name although Yamato-sensei and Sai didn't seem to react too much about it.
"Yes, its location has been confirmed by trusted sources," Tsunade replied and looked more seriously before continuing, "before I tell you further― let me introduce you to each other. Naruto, Sakura, these are Yamato and Sai. They will be your teammates in the upcoming mission I'm about to give you…"
I see myself and Naruto looking at them and I lowered my head politely but Naruto just bobbed his head. He really needs to learn manners, that idiot.
"Yamato-san will replace Kakashi-san who is currently injured and has to stay at the hospital for a couple of days while Sai-kun here, will be replacing Sasuke-kun's place for a while, therefore this team is a temporary revival of team 7," Shizune-san explained.
"What!? Well I can understand for Kakashi-sensei but, him? Why should we have him in our team? Sasuke's place isn't replaceable!"
"Naruto!" I punched him on the head again, "I'm very sorry about this, he's never learned manners. How do you do, Yamato-sensei, Sai-san?"
I said that? Oh, I guess I did…
"Ah, it's alright, based from what I heard from Kakashi-sempai, Naruto-kun here is quite the lively one, a rare kind of a shinobi if I might add," Yamato said heartily.
"How do you do? I'm Sai," replied Sai as he extended his hand forward and gave a smile that looked odd which I still think so until now.
Naruto grunted in response but before anybody could do anything further, Tsunade-shishou spoke up again, "ahem, I'm sure you all can do the introduction later all you want, but now, let me brief you on your mission…"
Everyone returned their attention to her then she gestured Shizune-san to take over which she did, "hai, Tsunade-sama"
Shizune-san took a scroll from inside her sleeves and read it aloud, "― ano, based from our Intel, we have located and confirmed Orochimaru and Uchiha Sasuke's location near the border between Wind and Earth. It is an underground hideout under a small hill. It is highly probable that its structure will be a labyrinth-type just as his other underground lairs which we have acquired in the past few months. It is confirmed that Orochimaru and Uchiha Sasuke have been staying there for the past few weeks and it is unlikely that they will leave anytime soon. The objective of this mission is to retrieve Uchiha Sasuke and to bring him back to Konoha. You are to depart tomorrow morning. That is all…"
"Any question?" Tsunade-shishou asked as Shizune-san rolled the scroll back.
Yamato-sensei raised his hand, "what of the physical conditions of the objective?"
"Dead or alive, preferably alive," Tsunade replied swiftly.
I notice that Naruto flinched at Yamato's question and even more at Tsunade's answer but after hearing the whole sentence, he softened up. I can understand though, we both known that it would be almost impossible to bring Sasuke-kun back unharmed. He is very strong after all.
"Tsunade-sama, what of Sasuke-kun's exact position inside the hideout?" I asked this time.
Tsunade sighed, "Unfortunately, we do not know. Our Intel could only penetrate as far as the front entrance and have no idea whatsoever of the inside"
My memory self frowned and then Sai raised his hand, "what of threats during search?"
At this, Tsunade-shishou opened her eyes and stared at the four people before her, "should any of you encounter a threat during search, eliminate the threat and retreat. It would be highly advisable and recommendable to avoid any fights and especially if you were to encounter Orochimaru in person. If you do, notify the rest if you are separated and retreat, do NOT fight that man, do I make myself clear?"
As I watch, I see that Naruto stayed quiet the whole time. He was probably thinking about Sasuke-kun, I know I did. But now that I see it from a different angle, it seems that he thinks nothing but Sasuke-kun, he doesn't seem too focused on the briefing but maybe it's just my imagination.
"… It is that day… no, it's three days before that day, when I first met with Yamato-sensei and Sai,
"I could feel a slight feeling of warmth when seeing that frame. Everything was still normal back then. Me, Tsunade-shishou, Shizune-san… Naruto…"
When I see these memories of back then, I know that it isn't that long ago but it feels like eternity for some reason. I wish I could just stay here and watch more but then everything seems to move. I don't know if it's me or my memories or maybe us both but we are moving again. I can still feel the vast darkness surrounding me, it's cold and sorrowful but I can't do a single thing, I can only let myself be guided by some unknown force. Then as I feel a shiver running down my spine, I notice that we have stopped. I turn around and see a different frame, a different memory. This time I can see that we are near a small hill, the hideout…
"This is…"
In the frame, team 7 was now observing a rather normal small hill from the forest. After a few moments, we then retreated deeper inside the forest and gathered around.
"Alright, it seems like the surrounding of the outer part of the hideout isn't as protected as the Intel mentioned, so we can sneak easily to that hill― I will make an entrance for all of us but now I would like to separate the team into a two-man cell. Naruto, you'll go with Sai and…"
Before Yamato-sensei could finish his sentence, Naruto cut him off with an angry whisper, "what!? Why do I have to go with this creep!?"
"Naruto…" Yamato-sensei whispered threateningly, earning Naruto's silence and he continued, "― as I was saying, Naruto will go with Sai and Sakura you'll go with me. I would like all of you to swallow this please, it would facilitate our communication once we're inside― I doubt the radio will be useful once we're inside. They could have placed a scrambler device…"
Yamato-sensei showed four seed-like matter and we all took one each and swallowed soon after. Right after we swallowed the seed, we all felt something in our head all at once a few seconds later. I still feel a little bit weird about Yamato-sensei's method.
"Did you get it?" he asked.
"What was that? I felt something telling me to turn left" Naruto commented. I can see myself showing an interested expression while Sai stayed indifferent.
"Yes, this seed allows me to communicate with you although I can't use it to transmit words but I can transmit signals through a strong will. You guys can do it as well, just think of something simple and think it strongly. For example if you think of retreating, your thoughts will transmit to the other seeds and we'll know it immediately, do you understand?"
"So, this is like transmitting your emotions, is it?" my memory self asked and Yamato smiled, "exactly, glad you catch up"
Naruto looked mildly confused and Sai stayed indifferent. When I see myself groan and tried to explain to Naruto, I chuckle.
"Why did I ever try to explain it to him in the first place? It's not like he'll understand just like that. What was I thinking?"
Giving up, my memory self sighed in exasperation and Yamato-sensei concluded the briefing. After making one last check for our equipments, Yamato-sensei made a wood bunshin and have that clone make a safe passage toward the hill. Once the clone reached it, he waved his hand signaling the other that it's safe to move. When we all reached the hill, Yamato told his clone to stand guard and he proceeded to make a passageway into the lair.
While penetrating the hill further inside, Yamato-sensei explained along the way to Naruto how there are always a weak link in every surface and that's how they're going to get in. Once inside, we got into an empty corridor with weird-looking walls, floor, and ceilings. Yamato-sensei told the team to start searching as Naruto and Sai went to the right while I and he went to the left.
Yamato-sensei and I checked every room as stealthily as possible although I would sometime glance over my shoulder for a few moments.
"That's right, I would always check behind my back. When Yamato-sensei asked me what is wrong, I said I was just double-checking but― to be honest, I was worried about Naruto. My mind was always set toward Sasuke-kun but somehow I couldn't get Naruto out of my head as well"
As I watch the frame moving, showing an image of me and Yamato-sensei searching through empty room after empty rooms, I slowly come into a realization that this dimension where I'm in seems to get colder and colder. I can feel my surrounding coming in closer and closer although it doesn't seem like it but I can tell from the shiver running down my spine, the coldness in my breath, and this feeling of fear that's building up inside. I just realize that my surrounding is slowly eating me. I feel like I have to fight it off but I can't even move my body. Despite every fiber of my subconscsious body screaming at me to find my way out of this darkness, my instinct and everything else tell me that I have to watch this till the end, and then it's steadily coming, the scariest part of it all― the moment I sold my soul to the devil…
Yamato-sensei suddenly stopped in his track and the me in my memory followed suit.
"What is it, Yamato-sensei!?"
"Stay behind me, Sakura―" Yamato whispered softly so that only I could hear, "― show yourself…"
A figure slowly made his appearance from behind the shadows, a smirk painted his pale face.
"You!" my memory self yelled.
"… Yakushi Kabuto…" Yamato said almost in a murmur.
Kabuto stood there silently, examining the intruders calmly. After a brief observation, he smirked again and addressed us casually as if we were his long-awaited guests.
"My, my, what do we have here? You two could have at least notified us of your presence so that we could give you a proper welcome…"
I see my self gritting my teeth, threatening to attack at any moment but Yamato-sensei's arm prevented me from doing so.
"No, we wouldn't like to bother you so instead of having to trouble you with your so-called welcome, we'd prefer going incognito, you see?" he replied coolly.
"Hn, you do have a point there, although I must say that it is rude to barge into someone's house uninvited no matter the situation, you know?" Kabuto said tauntingly.
Yamato-sensei just smirked, "well I apologize but being rude as in barging uninvited into someone else's dump is part of my job description, haven't you heard about shinobi?"
Kabuto's smirk faded as quickly as it appeared. His eyes didn't show their taunting look anymore as it was soon replaced by bloodlust. Kabuto stared silently again at us and then spoke up again without changing his tone.
"… Seeing how that pink-haired girl is here then I assume you're after Sasuke-kun, am I right?"
I can remember myself twitching and thought, 'they know!?'
"So what if we are?" Yamato-sensei replied as coolly as ever.
Kabuto lowered his head and positioned his glasses before looking up, "such impudence, how long does it takes to have that brain of yours learn that Sasuke-kun ran on his own will? He won't ever return to Konoha now that Orochimaru-sama has given him what he desires― power…"
We stayed silent for a bit, I seemed to look uneasy while Yamato-sensei seemed to be thinking about something until he snickered, "hn, we never said we'd persuade him to come back with us, for all we know we could just be forceful and believe me, that's what we are here to do"
Kabuto looked murderous as he glared at Yamato, "― and you think I'll let you do whatever you want?"
Yamato-sensei noticed that Kabuto has started releasing his medical chakra as both his hands began to glow light green, illuminating the dimly lit corridor, "I was hoping you would, I guess it really was a long shot…"
"Die!"
Kabuto dived and began attacking the intruders. We both readied ourselves. It didn't take the two of us more than ten seconds to know what we both should do for the next few seconds.
As Yamato-sensei blocked Kabuto's attack, I was already set to deliver the counter with a mega-punch. Unfortunately that disgusting man noticed as he quickly pulled back far from the reach of my fist but Yamato-sensei had already anticipated this and quickly held both hands to form the Mokuton hand seal and as if on cue, wooden blocks appeared on Yamato-sensei's shoulders and gave chase to Kabuto.
Sensing the wooden blocks coming in closer with each moment, he took out a kunai and added an explosive tag at its handle then threw it to our direction. Having noticed the explosive note on the kunai, Yamato-sensei stopped his move and with the me in my memory, jumped back to escape the explosion that rocked the compound and must have notified its residence of our presence.
Smokes were everywhere. We had survived the blast although we were a little bit separated in the thick smoke. After looking around in vain, I see myself noticing something. It must be Yamato-sensei's seed. Not too long afterward, his clone stepped into my field of vision. I knew right away that it was a clone because half his face was still made of wood. Then as I remembered, I was reunited with Yamato-sensei.
"Are you alright?" he asked in a soft murmur.
"Yeah, what's with this thick smoke? It takes longer to dissipate than usual? It's just a normal explosive tag, isn't it?"
It seems that my questions made him realize something was wrong and I was right, "It couldn't be…"
Then it hit him.
"It's poison gas! That bastard must have released it right after he threw that explosive tag! Sakura, let's get out of here!"
We then quickly ran on the direction where we came from to avoid the thick white smoke that slowly began to turn purple. Yamato-sensei told me to cover my mouth and hold my breath until we were out of the smoke screen while he did the same.
By the moment we got out, the smoke was still thick it even covered the entire corridor. I can see myself coughing up a bit and trying to catch my breath while Yamato-sensei stood guard at the silent purple smoke, looking half-expecting that something might come out from it.
"… This is bad," I heard him speak, "with that explosive tag earlier, he must've notified the entire compound― it's regrettable but we have to get out of here, the mission's compromised…"
I see that I opened my mouth but soon closed it again, I must've wanted to say something but I knew that it was over. After all, I had to prioritize my mission's duties before my feelings and emotions.
"But is that really what I've been doing up till now?"
I see myself standing up and after making sure that I'm alright, we quickly ran to where we came from and never look back.
All the while, Yamato-sensei kept sending some sort of an emotion command to run away for Naruto and Sai while sending a clone or two to look for them too, just for safety. I know that because I also felt it that time. What worried him was not that Naruto and Sai would meet an enemy on the way but rather if Naruto decided to go against his order and continued to search for Sasuke-kun. At some point, I know I must have felt the same.
While on the run, Yamato-sensei had made a clone in advance to act as sentry and check if their path was clear and safe. We needed to get away with as little fight as possible. We had to take detours and stop every now and then until our path was clear from incoming guards.
"Damn― if this keeps up, we're going to have to find another way out…" Yamato-sensei said as we stopped at a corner.
"But Yamato-taichou, what about Naruto and Sai? Where are they?"
"I don't know, I've told them to get out of here but so far the only reaction I've received is that they are running away, I can't tell where they are or what they are doing now…"
"But what if they go to where we came in only to find that place filled with Oto nin?"
"Let's just hope that they aren't going to do so, at least having Sai around will decrease that possibility"
"Who is he exactly? Sai that is…"
"I don't know but he was recommended by one of the elders, Danzou-sama, so that would at least show that he's reliable― let's go, the way is clear"
I nodded and once again followed the wood element user while checking the rear as well for any sudden attacks. Once we almost ran into an enemy patrol but luck was with us. When we were about to turn at an intersection, a group of Oto nins were heading our way and to make matters worse, another group of Oto nin was coming up from behind. We were ready to fight at any moment, yet before we clashed, the two Oto groups made a sudden turn midway. Apparently they were called in for another event that took place somewhere in the hideout. Releasing a sigh of relief, we went ahead once again, heading toward the hole where we came in. But then a realization comes into my mind.
"This… oh no, this is that time… when I met him…"
We were getting closer toward the exit when suddenly a lone figure stood in our way. He had long black hair, a pale skin, and radiated a very ominous and black aura around him, so black it felt evil. Sensing the dangers heading our way, Yamato-sensei stopped, followed by me.
We were silent at first, observing the figure that stood silently in front of them, a trickle of sweat crawled on our cheek. That was until I opened my mouth, "that man… it can't be…"
"Talk about bad luck…" Yamato-sensei clicked his tongue as he stood on guard by brandishing a kunai.
The ominous figure looked up, a malevolence smile greeted, "now, now― you're not going to leave without at least meet with the house's owner, are you?"
"Heh, it would seem that we are since we'd hate to disturb you"
Orochimaru looked at Yamato-sensei and noticed something from seeing his face, "have I seen you before?"
"… Maybe in one of your test tubes, does that ring any bell?" Yamato replied but with a more serious tone.
As if being hit by a realization, Orochimaru smirked wickedly, "yes, of course― how could I forget?"
I had a confused look as I watched the conversation between the two men silently, "sensei? What is…?"
"You were one of my long-abandoned experimental lab rats, weren't you? The one with the First's DNA" Orochimaru said with a snicker on his face.
I was totally put off guard. That time I was completely surprised and I couldn't believe my ears, even now I still feel the same. Yet, that's the fact, that's the reality. I stopped for a bit.
"Reality?"
When I thought about the word 'reality' in my subconscious form, everything seems to freeze, to stop in their track. There's something about that word that is very important. I can't quite place it yet but once again my instinct tells me to keep on watching till the end. By now I really am starting to think that it's really necessary for me to watch this till the end, to find an answer, to find the truth, to find… reality.
And so I continue to watch.
"I thought you'd be dead already but I guess my experiment was successful in the end― I think I should reopen this as soon as I can then, it would certainly be a great asset for me to have an entire army of mokuton user…" Orochimaru said, laughing softly at the end.
Even though I can't see my own subconscious form but I'm sure I have the same expression as my own self in the memory, I'm sure we both have the same expression of disgust right now.
"Well enough reminiscing, what business do you have here? Don't tell me it's about Sasuke-kun again?"
"I'm afraid it is"
Orochimaru rolled his eyes and snickered, "I see that even with me gone, Konoha never learns, it's a pity but that's Konoha's fate and stupidity, in a way it's a good thing I've defected"
"Konoha is more than that! You don't know what you're talking about!"
I see myself screaming at him. Even now it gives me warmth in my chest for being brave.
"And what do you know about Konoha, little girl? Do you have any idea of all its doings ever since its founding?"
"Uh…"
"I thought so, well enough talking. I'll be taking you in and kill the other rats"
Orochimaru raised his hand to form a single hand seal and our surrounding suddenly turned into a pit of snakes.
"Genjutsu!?"
"Sakura!"
My memory self and Yamato-sensei retaliated quickly by forming a hand seal and we both shouted, "Kai!"
"Kukuku, it's useless, there is no way out from this genjutsu"
He was right. Even with 'kai' we couldn't break off the illusion. The snakes were slithering around us, ready to strike at anytime but stayed in their threatening position to play with their soon-to-be-victims.
"If you can't dispel an illusion by yourself, then there's only one way left" Yamato-sensei said.
My memory self noticed what he meant as I see myself getting ready in a punching position. After I felt enough power within me, I didn't waste any time as I punched the floor beneath me, breaking the entire floor along the way.
"Guh, this…!" Orochimaru said and his illusion broke off on its own.
The entire floor crumbled and we landed on the floor beneath it. We stared at each other carefully, not leaving any opening for the opponent to strike.
While watching this, I notice something odd. For some reason, I feel that Orochimaru stared at me more than he looked at Yamato-sensei. I soon know the answer though after I feel a sharp pain in my chest just by seeing him smirk. I can feel my subconscious self feeling the fear, sweating cold sweats, trembling. Something that seems to be in my head for quite some time but I never remember is slowly resurfacing, as if it's a long lost memory that returns after a seal has been broken.
"This… what is this? Why do I…?
"What is this… foreboding sensation? This… incoming memory?
"… It hurts…"
As the sharp pain in my chest keeps hurting, I can feel myself falling down on my knees and having one hand grabbing my head while the other my chest. It feels like it's about to explode with the incoming of fuzzy visions in my head, blurry visions that are slowly becoming clearer and clearer with every thrust of pain in my chest. Trying to deal with it, I force myself to open my eyes and ignore the pain in my head and chest and to continue watching my memory.
I notice that my memory self didn't react too much about his smirk and if I think about it, it must be normal since I haven't sold my soul yet. Then I remember that it really was when the situation became more complicated with the arrival of that filthy man, Kabuto.
"My apologies for not being able to clear this mess beforehand, Orochimaru-sama"
Yamato-sensei and I became stiff by the sudden voice coming from nowhere until our eyes became accustomed to where its body was. Kabuto appeared from the shadows right behind Orochimaru who didn't seem to mind.
"It's fine, Kabuto. Thanks to your carelessness, I found an interesting idea"
"My lord?"
"Take care of that experimental lab rat, will you? I have something to do with that little girl"
"Understood, Orochimaru-sama"
My heart beats with a hurting sting every time Orochimaru talked and even more when he looked at me, approaching me, with that evil smirk and those snake-like eyes of his. My vision slowly becomes a blur but I can still see very clearly, perhaps it's just the pain in my chest and head that causes my eyes to tire.
"Sakura, don't separate from me, stay close" I hear Yamato-sensei whispering to my memory self.
Before I could even respond, Kabuto had thrown a kunai enveloped with an explosive tag right in the space between me and Yamato-sensei, separating us even further away. I coughed as the dust filled the space around me and afar I could see sparks and the sounds of metals clashing. Yamato-sensei and Kabuto must be fighting over there. I stood up and was about to go where Yamato-sensei was to help him but when I wanted to move my feet, they got stuck. I felt a tremendous pressure coming up from my side which caused my body to not respond.
"Now, now― you're not going anywhere, little girl"
"… Orochimaru…"
"Hmm― pink hair, emerald green eyes, and a monstrous strength― Haruno Sakura"
"…"
I see Orochimaru approaching my frozen memory self slowly as if a snake slithering stealthily to its prey.
"Do you wish to see Sasuke-kun?"
"… I wish to bring him back with us to Konoha…!"
"Kuku, but that's never going to happen, now is it? I'm sure he must've already told you his priority in life, has he not?"
My memory self frowned and I'm sure we share the same expression at the moment, the expression of sorrow.
"That has nothing to do with this― Sasuke-kun, he… he can always achieve his goal even by staying in Konoha!"
"Then why didn't he? Why would he defect from Konoha?"
"That's because of you! You've corrupted his mind!"
"I did no such thing― I only invited him to come to me should he desire power. In no way did I ever corrupt his mind"
"You bastard!"
"Call me whatever you want, little girl― but let me ask you a question"
"…?"
"Are you willing to do anything for Sasuke-kun?"
Orochimaru asked with a wide evil-looking smirk. I knew that was the moment when my resolve crumbled in pieces.
"…!"
"Well?"
"Anything!"
My memory self was glaring toward the pale man. He grinned.
"Really? Let's say Sasuke-kun needs your help and that after he's accomplished his goal, you both are free to do whatever you wish― would you be able to abandon your teammates just for his sake?"
"That's…!"
"Hm?"
"… That's another matter"
"Silly girl, of course it isn't― you are a shinobi too, and we always have to choose so, which will you choose? Duty or personal feelings?"
"…"
"… I see you can't decide― I suppose this is a waste of time after all…"
Orochimaru turned around and was about to leave when I watch myself yelling at him.
"WAIT!"
Orochimaru stopped in his track and shifted his head slightly to have a glimpse of her.
"… N-no… Don't…"
Thump.
"… I…"
"Don't say it…"
Thump. Thump.
"… I…"
"Please, don't!"
Thump. Thump. Thump.
"I choose my personal feelings"
"NO!"
As I watch myself say those words, I can feel tears falling down. Orochimaru seemed to grin even wider but the angle makes it impossible to see clearly until he turns around to face me once again.
"Are you sure?"
I see myself nod.
"Very well, I'll let you meet him then, right now"
"What?"
"In truth, during the last few years of training with me― I notice that the boy has lost something important within him, something that may make him even stronger not only in body but also mind. I believe you may be able to help him retrieve that long-forgotten thing"
"No! It's a lie! You mustn't listen to him!"
"An important thing?"
"That's correct"
"What is that?"
"Companionship"
"But wasn't his body you're after? Why would you want him to get even stronger by regaining companionship?"
"I admit that I desired his body for the longest of time, I do not deny that. However, I have thought of a better idea during the training these past year. His ultimate goal is to kill his brother. Itachi is a far stronger man than Sasuke, he's even stronger than me, only because of those eyes. Sasuke-kun is a fine specimen but he's yet to mature, in terms of physical body experience, Itachi's body fits me more perfectly"
"…"
"No, please! Snap out of it! He's just tricking you!"
I shout at the picture, knowing full well that it's useless. However, I can't just watch silently, despite it being useless, I have to let it out somehow.
Then suddenly a loud explosion tore through the area, sending more dust flying around as well as pebbles and rocks from the ceiling, wall, and floor. As the smoke dissipated, I can slowly see many figures standing around me.
Yamato-sensei and Kabuto were facing each other in a cautious stance and not too far behind them were three new figures. They were Sai, Naruto, and Sasuke-kun.
"… Sasuke-kun…"
Before any of us could say anything, Sasuke-kun had put his hands together and without any warning another explosion occurred. This time the explosion was even bigger than before it even tore through the ceiling, making a large crater.
"Kya!"
After the impact of the explosion knocked us away, I tried to get hold of myself and then came the sunrays, flashing in through the huge hole in the ceiling. I automatically looked up, battered and bruised in some places, and there I saw at the top, Sasuke-kun.
When my memory self seems to be frozen in place, I look around the picture to see that Yamato-sensei was also looking upward while holding his arm. Sai was getting himself out of some rubble while Naruto was rubbing his head as he tried to stand.
"… Sasuke… kun…"
"… Sakura…"
"Khh…" Naruto shook his head to clear away the dizziness and then looked up with fierce eyes, "SASUKE!"
"… You're noisy as always… Naruto"
Naruto just glared at him. Then when I turn to see my frozen self again, the moment which I fear the most has come. Orochimaru, disguising himself as a small snake, slowly slithered its way to me. The me in my memory was still frozen in place but when the small snake made its way to ear shot, its whispers were my downfall.
"This is the moment where you should stay true to your words, Haruno Sakura. Do this forbidden genjutsu with all your heart and you'll be able to help Sasuke-kun in his quest. You can help everyone with only this one move"
"… I… can?"
"Yes, this is a simple technique but it requires two people to execute but it's fairly dangerous because it attacks the mind of not only the caster but also its victims, however, that's why it requires two people so that one of the two can lower the damage to the caster, you shall cast the genjutsu and I shall lower the damage done to you"
"… What… will happen… to them?"
"They'll be trapped in an illusion that you give in which they won't notice even if they use the illusion dispel technique out of a whim. It is a forbidden genjutsu that only the casters can dispel. You only need to form a few hand seals and think of the illusion to cast"
"… The illusion… to cast…?"
"Yes, I suggest an illusion where the Kyuubi brat goes berserk by unleashing the great demon fox's power and causes massive destruction which injured everyone heavily… especially Sasuke-kun"
"What? But…"
"Don't you think that he's the cause of all this?"
"Eh?"
"Because Naruto-kun has grown steadily stronger in a very fast rate ever since the Forest of Death while Sasuke-kun gotten stronger little by little in a slower pace, don't you think he felt inferior and thus decided that there's nothing in Konoha that can give him power that he desires so?"
"That's…"
"When he failed to bring Sasuke-kun back, how did you feel?"
"I…"
"You felt disappointed. You felt that he has failed you. Now I give you this chance, the chance to make him pay for his failure, will you not take it?"
"… I…"
As Orochimaru keeps on corrupting me in my memory, I can't help but to watch in pain as tears keep on flowing down my already drenched cheeks. Once in a while, I would hiccup as a sharp pain throbs excruciatingly in my chest, reminding me of my foolishness, of my sin. Then it finally came, the moment my mind became corrupted by the evil snake.
"… Yes… Naruto's… the one to blame for all this… if only… if only he never existed…"
"Yes, that's it, build up your hatred, Haruno Sakura. Before he's to be fully erased from this world, let him pay for his sins, let him suffer for his failures… he's the cause for all of this, for all of your pain"
The me in my memory slowly began to move her hands closer to form a few hand seals as Orochimaru the snake guided with inaudible whispers. I turn to see the other but just as I remember, nobody even noticed me as they all were busy with each other.
"… No… please… stop this…" I say with tears flooding my vision, making my sight all blurry as I continue to plead, "… whatever you are… please, don't make me watch this anymore… please, stop this… please…!"
Then the preparation was done and the little snake that was on my memory self's shoulder suddenly disappeared as Orochimaru slowly emerged from the ground right beside Sasuke-kun.
"Orochimaru!"
"Kukuku, now that all the players are here, let's enjoy this show fully, ne?"
"What are you talking about…?"
"Now, now― you should enjoy this as well, Sasuke-kun"
Orochimaru began a sequence of hand seals and caused the others to stand on their guard, getting ready for whatever's coming. What they didn't know was that right behind them all, I was also ready in casting the forbidden genjutsu with all my hatred aimed at Naruto. Then it happened.
"Kuro Jikan no Jutsu!"
Orochimaru and I said at the same time. Then the genjutsu was cast.
From my current standpoint, nothing is happening but the effect was instantaneous. It didn't take more than a minute until they all collapsed except me, Sasuke-kun, Orochimaru, and Kabuto.
"… I…" I can only say while I close my eyes, too ashamed to watch what I've done.
When I reopen my eyes, the picture is slowly getting blurry. It wasn't getting fuzzy because of my tears but because my memory self was about to get unconscious as well. It was then that I realize the truth all along. The realities I've seek.
All along, I've always knew ever since Naruto went away with Jiraiya-sama a few days ago that there's something off in my mind but I couldn't quite place it yet at the time. As time goes on, the thing that was off suddenly appear in fragments of memories, just like what happened earlier. I began to slowly see different fragments of memory which I thought wasn't mine until my disbelief turned into doubt and finally into acceptance. It was then that I realize what I've done, that I've cast a forbidden genjutsu to my own teammates. However, the only thing that I've realized at the time was still that I've performed a forbidden illusion technique, not why. Now, however, I've finally get the answer I've been searching for so long.
Orochimaru had put another genjutsu right after we performed the forbidden genjutsu, only this time his target was me. Caught off guard, I was hit by the mind-altering genjutsu and my memory was altered at once, making me unable to break off the illusion. He made me forget about us performing a forbidden genjutsu. He's erased my memory of being corrupted by him. How I could begin to remember I don't know. Perhaps the genjutsu's effect was wearing off on its own or maybe something happened to Orochimaru, I don't know.
Yet, even though the truth has finally come to me, I still feel guilt in me, a massive feeling of culpability, of shame, of sorrow. Even if he did manipulate me into doing his bidding by exposing my weakness, I still am guilty for easily succumbing to his manipulative words. I am guilty for being weak, for being too easy to manipulate, for being a foolish kunoichi. I, what's the meaning of my training for these last few years then? What's the meaning of improving my skills if my own emotions aren't improving― if my personality, my mental state, my mind is still the same childish mind as before?
What… have I been doing?
While I think of self-loathing, my surrounding's starting to swirl around and so are my memories. As I open my eyes, I see the still pictures depicting some key moments in my life after the incident. The moment when Naruto was tried for going berserk and I acted as witness as did Yamato-sensei and Sai, at that time I had completely forgotten about the truth as all I remembered and believed to be the truth was the illusion of the genjutsu, that Naruto had gone berserk and caused a massive destruction. Then the moment when Naruto got suspended as punishment which soon turned into the prohibition for him to go out of the village and to be watched by a black ops squad for a period of time. Then his every move was getting even more restricted as he was forbidden to step out of the boundaries set by the council which was no more than 5 meters from his apartment for a period of time. Then came the moment when each and every one of us became distant from him, until we never even talk much with him anymore. Until finally came the moment where the council made a decisive choice, to strip him off his shinobi status and implement his house arrest. The rest shows memories I still remember such as my confession to Tsunade-shishou, my visit to Naruto's empty apartment, Shikamaru and the boys' confrontation, and finally to the moment when I lose consciousness. With the slideshow ending, a lone tear is the only thing that embellishes my wet cheek. I can feel my entire body shaking, trembling in fear and shame. I can feel my entire body cold even though I know that it's not my physical body but rather just my consciousness.
"… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, everyone… I'm so very sorry, Naruto… I'm sorry…"
As I repeat those words, I feel myself getting more and more lost in the abyss of my own consciousness that's eating my guilty self away. Yet, despite the feeling of total loss and the desire to disappear, I can also feel a tiny speck somewhere within myself to fight it. Somehow, I feel like it's telling me to stand up, to return, to wake up and make things right. It took me a few minutes to fully listen to it until finally I succumbed. I know I have to return, to wake up from this abyss, to make things right. I have sinned too much to runaway from it, to let myself be eaten by my guilt. It's too easy for me. It's too easy to pay for my sins, no, I have to return, to wake up. I deserve any kind of punishment but for now, I have to return.
With this new burning sensation in me, the darkness around me slowly starts to dissipate as rays of blinding white light takes its place. I had to cover my eyes as the white light takes over the darkness in a quick succession, not giving me time to react. Slowly, I feel my body to feel heavier, to feel more complete, more concrete. And so I dare myself to open my eyes and I know that I have returned as a very familiar voice called out my name.
"SAKURA-SAN!"
… At last, I've awakened from my dream and returned to reality…