"Elizabeth! Elizabeth"
"Huh, what? What's going on? Where am I?" I thought as I slowly opened my eyes to a dimly lit room. Oh yeah, I'm at father's and Mary, my nanny, is frustrated with me for oversleeping. Again. It's most likely past the time for my morning meal already, which means that Mary will be in a hurry and I still won't move any faster.
"Elizabeth, I cannot understand for the life of me how you can sleep so late on such a beautiful morning, and to top it off on such a special day! You are sixteen now and an official young lady. We really should start looking for a suitor for you, what do you think of that? Hm, girly?"
"Mary, I had that dream again. The one about the girl, boy, and man. Why do I keep seeing that? I hate it, I get such a bad feeling form it." I say as I study her. She is beautiful, her hair is a pure white, and her skin is flawless. She won't tell me how old she is even though I keep pestering her about it. She is so kind and full of love. No matter what I do she doesn't get angry. I hope to be like her when I grow up. After this thought Mary rips my covering of my bed.
"Child, I said to get up. We have so many things to do today. You have to bathe, choose which of the new dresses to wear and attend breakfast in no less than ninety minutes. Up, up up! And you still haven't answered my question about the perfect man for you."
"Well he would have to be taller than I, have beautiful eyes that could give away his thoughts if I want to know what he is thinking. He must have a smile that could make anyone want to smile with him, and he will have to have a sense of adventure. I don't want any guy who will treat me the way that everyone else does just because of who my father is. He needs to be kind and funny but mature when I need him to be. I think that's it," I giggle, "other than the fact that he must have a nice bum." I say this all as I roll out of bed and drag my feet into the bathing room. The White marble, claw footed tub that Father bought me for my last birthday is filled with warm water and bubbles pour over the brim with red rose peddles resting gently on the white clouds of air. I untie the front of my night gown, letting it slip down my body onto the floor. I study the scar I have above my left breast that father says I got on birthday nine years ago from a beggar outside our house. I step into the tub and slowly sit down into the water, enjoying the feeling of the warmth on my skin, especially after having that dream again. As I bathe myself, I think of the dream. I've had it almost every night for the past month or so. I can't figure it out, who is that girl? Her features seem so familiar, the shape of her face, it feels like I see it every day. But where! I sigh in frustration and Mary looks at me with concern.
"It's the dream again isn't it? The thing that's bothering you?" She asks with a sense of fear in her voice, I can hear the Scott in her. "Sometimes dreams are visions sent by our inner selves, of things we once knew but have forgotten. These things are usually good to let go. But with this dream, the memory really wants to come out, it really wants to be known. Even with that I think..."
I stand and get out of the bath before she finishes her sentence, she always says the same thing about it every time I bring it up.
"I know. I should forget about it, act like I don't see it, pretend it doesn't exist. But I can't! The thought of the dreams is always racing through my head. Sometimes it makes me dizzy. I get to the point where I have to leave the room and have a moment to myself, it gets so bad. And the boy in it, I know him. I feel something for him, but I don't know what. It's as if I grew up with him. Father never let me near boys around my own age, so I can't know who he is. Can I? Mary, please. Please help me find out what these dreams mean."
Mary responds with one word, "Later." She then continues with the morning routine of forcing me to choose a dress.
I hate all the dresses Father bought me. They're all so stiff and ugly. One of them is white velvet, it has so much lace that the women on the streets of the lower slum part of town wouldn't even wear it. I go through the boxes of dresses dozens of times, "This is pointless, Mary. Father's taste in clothing is getting worse every year." I say with frustration as I sit on a stool and tuck my feet under the trimming. I feel something under my foot. I linger, thinking that it might be another trick the kitchen girls love to pull on me. It's my birthday though. If they've done something today I will have their heads. So I pull out the thing, it turns out to be a box, and I rip the lid off.
What's inside is so beautiful. It's a green so beautiful and playful that Queen Mab would be jealous of whoever decides to wear it. The bodice so soft and simple and the skirts light and allowing movement. I stare at the dress and run my hands over the material for what seems like an eternity.
This is the dress, the one that I had seen so many like it worn by the ladies the queen had sent to converse with father. This is the dress that I was meant to wear, the one that would look great and allow me to do whatever I will. I step into the skirts and pull it up and Mary helps me put the rest on.
"How do I look?" I ask as I turn around for Mary to observe the dress for any flaws. I look at her face, her hands are covering her mouth and her dark brown eyes are wide. There must be a rip or tare somewhere, or even worse. It looks horrible on me. I've ruined a perfectly good dress just by trying it on. I always do that I cannot ever make a beautiful thing look beautiful. The ugly dresses would probably look prettier than I do. I franticly start to try and unbutton the bodice to put on one of the terrible dresses, maybe I'll wear the gold one with the red embroidery on the skirt.
"What are you doing?" Mary asks in shock, "that dress looks beautiful on you."
We proceed through the manor into the dining hall. There is something odd here. It doesn't seem right. Then it hit me, the table was set for two. There are never two settings when I eat my meals. Father is always off doing business during my meal times, so I usually sit and eat as Mary tells me schedule for the day. I hear the doors to the dining hall close and there is Father walking towards me, guiding the kitchen staff. They set down the little plates full of my favorite breakfast foods as father takes his seat to my right. Everyone from the kitchen then take their turns saying happy birthday, just like every other year. But this time they said 'good luck', that's never happened before. I wonder what that is about. Father barely sat down before he says
"We have some serious business to talk about. You are now of age and need to be wed. I have been searching for the perfect husband for a few years. I am aware that you may not be very fond of this but it must be done. You cannot stay at home forever. You need to marry and connect our estates with that of another family, make sure that our blood line doesn't die even if the name will not go on."
"If I may ask, sir," I start, "who will the man I marry be?"
"Oh my dear child, he is here in the manor and is very anxious to see you. You will be able to meet him right after we finish our breakfast. I know that you will enjoy this gift I give to you that will last a life time."
We sit in silence. How could no body tell me about this? This is my life, someone should have told me so that I could have had a say in this! I am still young, there are so many things that I could do with my life at this point. I don't want to marry, have children and be expected to stay home all day being a good wife. I want to go on an adventure and find the man I want to wed. Not have him brought to my doorstep by my father. I have forgotten what I am doing, my hand is lifted half way between my mouth and plate. The piece of strawberry on it falls and splashes into my wine glass. Father stands rights up and his face turns a bright red.
"Child look at what you have done! Is this how you spend your breakfast? Pondering and thinking when you should be eating? You will be a wife soon and you will not be able to think about anything other than your husband's needs. And since it seems to me that you are finished eating, you will get up and come with me to meet your groom."
Why must they talk so much? Have they forgotten why we are here? Of course they have. They're just sitting there talking about the new laws that the queen is thinking of passing. Father and Lord Francis Jaquele. Father says he isn't that bad. I don't what he means. The man is so old, and I'm so young. How could this marriage even be possible? I wish father had chosen someone younger with more taste. A man who hasn't married five times already just to have all his wives die and not have born an heir.
They've stopped talking, and are now looking at me. I wonder what they're staring at. It is so very impolite to stare at a young lady. The old man is grinning, I don't understand why he would be. I'm not something that enjoys to be looked at in such a way.
I stand up and excuse myself from the room. I can hear Father call my name behind me and shout that I had better come back to finish our conversation. I walk up the stairs, my mind is a mess with how disappointed I am in myself that I am not able to have a better man want to be my husband. How could Father let someone take advantage of our trust in order to have a wife who is much to young for him. I pass Mary as I enter my room.
"I'm going out Mary. I can't take how stuffy it is here. I need some room and fresh air." I say this as I start to untie the bodice of my dress, and Mary hurriedly closes the doors shocked that I would get undressed when others could see me. I finish taking off the covers of the dress, then the skirts. I need something casual to wear. Something that won't make others notice me.
"Elizabeth, what are you doing? You're acting like a wild woman! Undressing in the door,. What has happened? Tell me please?"
"I don't want to talk about it. The only thing I will say is that Father acts like I am a possession of his. And he gives me no say in my own future." I start to dig through my closet. I walk to the back and get on my knees. I know that there is a box with a common dress back here. It should be under the blue box with the peacock slippers. Those are the ugliest shoes anybody has ever given to me, Aunt Agetha has even worse taste than Father does! Here it is. I pull the box out from the bottom of the stack where it is hidden. I look up, hoping that I didn't pull the box out to hard or to rough. I'm good, and walk out of the closet. I go to my bed, set the box on the coverlet and take the dress out.
I haven't worn it in forever. It's a dark violet that almost looks black. The feel of the cotton against my skin feels comforting, it feels so familiar. After I have my dress on I walk out the door to the parlor. I write a note here, I think I should say goodbye and just run away. That could be the adventure I've been waiting for. And so I write,
Dear Father,
Please forgive me for the abrupt behavior that I am displaying. I am unpleased and need time to myself, and so I must take a walk and get my head on straight. Please send Lord Francis away. I will not marry him, I will do anything in my abilities to make sure that this marriage does not happen. Do not worry of me and know that I will take care of myself whilst I am out
Love always
Elizabeth
I place the note on the table by the wine rack and take the cloak that Mary placed by the back door for me and leave. Out the door, without a sound, without any of the servants seeing me. Now I need to get to the front gate without getting caught. I slip behind the trees that line the garden in the back and listen. I can hear father, the old man and Mary talking. They are talking about where I am. Mary is a wonderful nanny, she's saying that she hadn't seen me since she walked to the dining hall for breakfast. I love her, I really do. And I love her even more right now for doing this even though she will most likely get in a lot of trouble later.
I can see the gate now, and there is no one in the way. I have a clear shot, so I run before the chance slips away. I guess I made to much noise because I can hear one of the gardeners yelling for me and asking why I am in such a hurry, but I keep running. I don't get out of this blasted place very often, so I need to take this chance. I am a prisoner in my own house. I keep running and don't look back, I'm almost there. Just a few more steps. That's all I need.
Where the hell am I? It's just like that old coot to do something like this to me. Say that I will never be able to return but I always can. I just have to wait for a few hours until he calms down and he will allow me to descend through the gates once more. That's how it always is, I just have to wait for him to calm down.
What should I do as I wait for the time to pass? Well I'm in the darker part of west London from the looks of things. I think I might go sit in a brothel and drink some ale. That usually takes enough time. I'll get bored in a few hours. I just have to find some poor sab that I can take money from. I sit down and wait for a few minutes before I find the perfect victim. He's an older guy, looks like he's in his mid-forties, fancy suit too. He really shouldn't be in this part of town dressed like that. I get up and walk up beside him. I whisper in his ear "Wanna see a magic trick?" He laughs at me, thinking that I'm joking. So I pull my hands out of my pockets, put one above his heart and one on his neck. My hands start to heat up and I tell the old man "If you scream you'll die. If you tell anyone of this, I will kill you. Now give me your money before I actually have to hurt you."
The old man slowly moves his hand for the inside pocket of his coat and hands me a silk pouch that, by the weight of it, I guess probably has about 75 pound in it. This will last me about 4 hours. I can get myself a good clean whore and some quality ale and jinn. "Thanks, but your still going to die," I pull my hand off his throat and plunge it into his chest. There is no blood, there never is. Even as I pull his still beating heart out of his chest there is no blood. As he falls to the ground I walk away and chew on his heart as if it was jerky. What does a banished daemon have to do to spill some blood around here?
It's been five years since I've been banished from my home. And I've had a pretty fun time. I've done things that my father would be proud that I have done. I have a nick name to the general public now. They call me "the Ripper". No one knows that it's really me but I hear them whispering their thoughts about who they think it might be. I'm a horrible person. I've gotten worse lately. The pain of not being able to sleep or have my rightful kingdom is killing me and even with that I can't die. That's the thing about being the son of Satan, you can't die you can't be injured. I can feel no pain.
I guess that's why I do it, kill those women. The ones who take everything they have for granted. They are such filthy people, the whores. And so I cut their throat and take a knife from the lower front right back up to the throat. It's a bit enjoyable and I've found a way so that the wounds don't heal. I just have to a weapon created by the mortals with no help from anything that is not of their world. It's the only thing that will help to make the pain go away. It's the only thing I can do to fill the hole that is in my chest.
I've started regretting disobeying my father. Letting the golden girl be released from our kingdom, she should have died. I have learned my lesson but that still won't change the fact that I cannot go home, ever.
The bar maid is looking at me now, she's gotten annoyed by me again. If I stay any longer I'm going to get kicked out. I put 50 pence on the counter and walk out before she can see I didn't pay for everything I drank.
The streets and bars in this part of the town are quiet during this time of day. It's when all the normal commoners and wealthy people are out doing their business. As I walk I can smell the vile stench that the wind brings in from the ship yards. It smells of rotten fish and dead mice. This entire part of town smells of dead and the kill I made last night that hasn't been found isn't helping with that situation. So I continue to walk along the dwarf, looking at the corners that will be filled with women in about 8 hours. I look at the sailors quietly unloading their hauls and selling off the rotting fish for more than they're worth. I belong here with these dirty people.
It's been years since that day, the day my father banished me. I guess I should've taken his threat more seriously. After about a month of no word from father and not being able to return or find my amulet, I took him seriously. So I went and got a job as a kitchen boy at one of the local estates. I felt odd there, yet there was a presence in the house that was welcoming. I haven't met this person, but I know that I care for them.
I hear the other kitchen servants whisper about me and I let them. They talk about how it was a mistake to hire me here and that I just got this job in order to pay off a debt that my whore of a mother owes. They don't know how wrong they are, but I don't want to start anything that would cause me to lose what I have.
Something happened today that had the entire house stirred. It was the master's daughter's birthday and we celebrated it how we always do. We made her favorite breakfast this morning and all the head cooks went out and wished her a good day. Then we were all in a hurry to make a dinner to serve to the man the girl is bound to marry. I feel bad for her, knowing that she will not be able to choose who she can love. To not be a man that she truly loves. That wasn't the end of the commotion though. I guess the girl ran away, because the whole house is in the streets looking for her and are being offered a hefty pay if they find her. My shift has ended though, so I don't need to worry about the girl anymore. I'm just going to walk to my favorite spot in town and think about everything that has been happening lately.
It's a little spot that nobody really knows about because they are all too afraid to try to get across a little old foot bridge that leads there. It's over a narrow river and down a steep hill, so it's not exactly visible from the streets anyways. The spot is a clean sandy beach that looks over blue water that hasn't been defiled by the waste of the humans in this city.
As I walk down the hill to my beloved spot I see a girl sitting there looking into the horizon and thinking about something far off. Her dress looks like she might have a little bit of money. So I walk up behind her, quiet enough that she can't hear me. She has something shining in her hands and as I approach I recognize what it is.
A young man approached me and was staring straight at my necklace. He looked as if he was in a trance and it was scaring me. I clutch my necklace even closer to my chest and ask him
"What do you want? I'm not going to give this to you!"
When I said that he was taken aback, he looked at me as if I am a ghost. He falls to the ground as he says "no! You can't be here! Why are you here? You look like her but you can't be her."
He crawls toward me and I am even more scared than before. He's putting his arms around me, but I don't do anything about it. This feeling, the one I am getting from being near this boy, it is so comforting and warm. I don't want it to end. I could be happy just sitting like this, with him for the rest of my life. I know this boy, but how? Who is this boy and why do I feel such a strong connection to him? I ask him
"Who are you and why do I feel this way with you?" he looks at me with confusion in his eyes,
"You don't remember do you? Maybe it's for the best that you don't. Maybe it would be better if we started a new. What am I saying? I'm rambling, you probably think that I'm going crazy. But like you asked, I'm Tyler. We knew each other before you lost your memory. But none of what happened before matters." He gives me a tighter hug and tries to pull back but I hold him close. I don't want this feeling to go away, I don't want him to leave, to take this comfort away.
"You know it's getting pretty late, especially for a lady like you to be out. I should take you home." He says as he stands back with an out stretched hand and a warm smile. I look down and start to cry, "I don't have a home anymore, and I ran away. Father was going to make me marry a older gentleman who only wanted me to bare his children." I am sobbing now, "I don't have anywhere to go. Take me home with you tonight, please?"
He takes my hand and pulls me close, "of course I'll take you with."
I cannot believe that she is here. I thought that since her father was so angry with her actions that he would keep her under lock and key so that I wouldn't be able to find her and love her. That I wouldn't be able to hold her in my arms again.
"Tyler? Are you alright? You seem to be focusing on something else." Her eyes look concerned, how can she know me so well when she doesn't know me at all anymore? "Yeah I'm fine, just thinking of the last time I saw you."
"Will you tell me? Since I don't remember anything, and Father and Marie wouldn't let me know anything, you are the only person I know who would be willing to tell me. And I want to know, I want all the memories back that I have forgotten. So will you tell me?"
"Ere, there are some things in the past that would be best forgotten and there are things I want to tell you but do not know if you can handle. So what I will tell you is that we come from different parts of our world. You are from the higher better part and I form the lower part that people do not want to go to . And that we were once friends who could tell each other everything."
"Why did you call me that?"
"What?"
"Ere, that's not my name."
"It's a nickname I gave you because you remind me of an angel. One that will go to the dark places to make sure that all is okay. That is what you did to me, you made me a better person. But what would you like me to call you now?" I forgot that she has been living in this world and doesn't know her real name. It is a sweet name she has. Eremiel. I love that name. It goes with the woman that I love.
"I want you to call me what you used to. Ere, I like the sound of it. It's from the angel Eremiel, right? The one who resides over the abyss? I read about her, she was so strong. I don't think I'm anything like her though."
"Let's keep walking it's starting to get dark. My place is only a little ways away, but keep close to me. There are unkind people around these parts." I feel her getting closer to me, I won't let anything hurt her. She is the reason I live now and will be the reason I will die.
We walked down the street in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Even though he didn't talk and told me not to, I felt safe. I don't know where we are going, but I trust him to take care of me. We walked by a group of people earlier and they parted the way. They looked at me in a way I've never been looked at before. I saw pity in their eyes and fear on their faces, but we continued to walk.
I guess we must be at our destination for we have stopped. I look up from the ground to see Tyler opening a door and gesturing for me to go inside. I walk in and wait for him to show me where to go next. Surely he cannot own this whole building. It has at least two stories and is very nicely decorated. The walls are a pale blue and the floors are a beautiful mahogany.
"Don't just stand there, it makes me feel uncomfortable. I know it's not as nice as what you're used to, but please don't stare."
"Oh, it's not that. I'm just thinking that it's beautiful, and I mean you no offense, but surely you are not the only one living here?"
"Not at the moment, no. Right now I have a beautiful guest that I hope will never want to leave. Anyway if you come with me I can show you to the room you will be staying in."
Tyler walks away from me and I'm afraid that I'll lose him so I catch up to him and a sudden urge takes over me. I want to wrap my arms around his chest, so I do. He stops, and I rest my head against his back. And I start to cry.
I don't know what to do. She's crying what, what is there to do? She's crying against my back, and I want to hold her. I want to comfort her and make her feel better. I turn around, she looks at me in fear that she has don't something wrong. I pull her close to me and I tell her,
"It'll be okay, cry as much as you need. You're safe here."