Are you thirsty for blood?
The Sexy Jutsu
We walked into the forest, Naruto still leaning on my shoulder. We stopped by an old tree that was lying on the ground. "Thanks, Kaitlyn-chan," Naruto thanked and stood up straight. I smiled and sat on the fallen tree. I just now noticed how beaten up Naruto was, now that I could actually see his face in front of me. His cheeks were swollen and he had a black eye on his right eye. 'Wow,' I thought, 'I've been in Tae Kwon Do for years and I've never been beaten as bad as he has, no matter how much I've sparred.'
"Why… do they only whack me?" Naruto asked.
Konohamaru looked at the ground. "Sorry," he apologized.
"Huh?" Naruto questioned.
"It's 'cause I'm the grandson of the Hokage," Konohamaru explained.
"Hey, don't worry about it." Naruto smiled.
"Huh?" Konohamaru spoke, confused.
"I prepared you, so now you're ready to learn the Sexy Jutsu," Naruto told him. I put my hand on my forehead and shook my head back and forth.
'Why is every single friend I've ever had a pervert?' I asked myself. Naruto gave him a thumbs up.
"Believe it. You're just going to need to practice," Naruto smiled.
"Practice!" Konohamaru cheered.
"Now, the trick is to get all the right curves in the right places. You ready!?" Naruto asked.
"I'm ready, Boss!" Konohamaru cheered.
'Great. Now I get to watch them turn into naked women. Aren't I lucky?' I thought sarcastically. I shook my head and took my sketchbook out of my messenger bag. I wasn't going to witness this.
"Transform!" Konohamaru yelled, distracting me. He transformed into a fat lady in her bra and underwear. I started cracking up again, until I fell off the log and bumped my head on a rock. I grabbed my head in pain.
"No go! You've gotta make her skinnier!" Naruto instructed.
I was still lying on the ground in pain. 'Stupid karma,' I thought to myself.
"Skinnier! Right, Boss!" Konohamaru yelled. "Hi," Konohamaru greeted in a deep voice. "How's that!?" Konohamaru asked.
"No! No! Curvier!" Naruto scolded.
"Curvier! Right, Boss!" Konohamaru yelled. "How's this!?" Konohamaru asked, transforming again. I sat up, still clutching my head.
"Ah-h!" Naruto screamed in frustration.
Naruto decided to give Konohamaru some time to rest. There were a couple beverage machines next to us, so we helped ourselves. "Geeze, Kaitlyn. Slow down. What's the rush?" Naruto asked me.
I stopped and stared at him. "I'm really thirsty." I smiled at him. He got an anime sweat drop.
"Well, obviously," he commented. Konohamaru just stared at his drink.
"What's wrong, Konohamaru?" I nudged him with a smile. He looked up at me then back down at his drink.
"I'm just thinking," he spoke quietly.
"I see," I spoke.
"Speaking of thinking, I was thinking too," Naruto suddenly mentioned.
"Oh... my.... goodness. It's a sign of the apocalypse. Konohamaru, get down! Take evasive action!" I dived to the ground, covering my head.
Naruto got an anime vein. "Ha ha. Very funny, Kaitlyn," he said sarcastically. I sat up and turned to face him.
"Sorry, Naruto-kun. I'm just hyper. I get like this when I have my caffeine," I explained with a smile.
"It's okay. It's actually cool to get to see you talk like this. I didn't think you could get hyper!" He laughed.
"Believe it!" I shouted with enthusiasm. We laughed even harder, but stopped when we realized Konohamaru was still sulking. I stayed seated on the ground in front of them, but decided to start a conversation with the little munchkin.
"Hey, Konohamaru. You should talk." I poked his forehead.
"Huh?" He blinked. "Oh, yeah," he spoke. "Sorry. I'm just feeling a little down. That's all."
"Is it about the Hokage?" I questioned.
"Yeah," he mumbled. Naruto decided to enter the conversation.
"So what's up with this obsession you've got with your grandfather?" Naruto asked him. Konohamaru looked up at him, then back at the ground.
"My grandfather named me Konohamaru, after the ancient name of the village, so it should be easy to remember," he told us. Naruto and I stared at him. "But no one calls me that name, not one person in the whole village. That's 'cause when they look at me, they don't really see me. All they see is the Honorable Grandson of the Lord Hokage. No one knows who I am," Konohamaru sulked. "I can't stand it anymore. It's like I'm invisible, like I don't exist. I hate that. That's the reason I've got to become the Hokage now, so people know who I am!"
Naruto looked at his drink. My eyes remained on Konohamaru. "Get real! You think people are going to except a squirt like you?!" Naruto asked.
"Huh?" Konohamaru questioned.
"A kid can't just turn into a Hokage after a day or two," Naruto explained.
"What?!" Konohamaru yelled.
"It's not that simple. You keep saying "Hokage, Hokage" To really be a Hokage, you know what you'll have to do?" Naruto asked.
"What? What is it?" Konohamaru asked impatiently. Naruto got a wicked grin.
"You're gonna have to defeat me in battle," Naruto challenged. Konohamaru looked shocked.
I sighed. "He's only nine, Naruto," I told him. "He doesn't stand a chance," I spoke.
"Well, that's how it has to be," Naruto crossed his arms.
"I'm not weak! I can easily defeat you!" Konohamaru pointed at him.
"Bring it on!" Naruto cheered. Konohamaru charged, but was stopped. Naruto held his hand against Konohamaru's forehead as he ran, making him run in place. Naruto couldn't help but laugh.
"Naruto!" I scolded.
"Oh, come on! I'm not even hurting him!" Naruto complained. I shot him a look of warning and he quit. He crossed his arms to pout though. Konohamaru stopped running and looked at the ground, realizing he was no match.
"It's alright, Konohamaru. You'll be ready one day." I smiled at him. He nodded and went to sit back down on the log. Naruto joined him. I remained on the ground in front of them. "We have company," I warned them. They looked at me, confused. There was a sound in the trees. I looked up to see Ebisu standing in the tree behind Naruto and Konohamaru. "I found you!" he yelled.
"Huh?" Naruto and Konohamaru questioned, turning around. Naruto glared at him.
"So, Honorable Grandson, time to go home," Ebisu spoke.
"No way! I'm learning how to beat my grandfather, so I can get the title Hokage! Now, don't get in my way!" Konohamaru ordered. Ebisu jumped on the ground.
"A Hokage is more than just a fighter. He must know virtue, honor, wisdom, and he must be skilled at a thousand Jutsu. You don't even know one Jutsu," Ebisu explained, walking towards him. Konohamaru growled.
"Transform!" Konohamaru yelled.
"Huh?" Ebisu questioned. A naked girl with long brunette hair appeared before us.
"Hi there. Like my Jutsu?" Konohamaru winked. Ebisu screamed, mouth wide. "Hey. He's not defeated," Konohamaru complained, transforming back.
"What-What-What kind of scandalous technique is that!?" Ebisu cried. "Such tasteless-" he started screaming. He was getting annoying and I've heard this line so many times that I just ignored him, rolling my eyes. I stood up and walked to the right side of Naruto. Naruto growled. Ebisu was pulling on Konohamaru by the scarf, trying to drag him home or something. He yelled. "Honorable Grandson, stop this! Right no-ow!" he struggled. "Naruto's turning you into a delinquent. Only my special training can put you on the fast track to becoming the Hokage!" Ebisu shouted. Konohamaru was still trying to run away, getting nowhere.
"Just leave me alone!" Konohamaru ordered, still struggling to escape.
"Shadow Clone Jutsu!" Naruto shouted, multiplying himself.
"Huh?" Konohamaru questioned and stopped struggling. Even Ebisu stopped moving to see what Naruto was doing. There were Narutos everywhere. Konohamaru's mouth dropped as his eyes widened.
"Whoa! This is unreal!" he yelled in shock. There must have been about thirty Narutos surrounding the area.
"Hm." Ebisu smirked. "I'm not impressed. I'm a Jonin, an elite ninja warrior. I'm not some light-weight like Mizuki," he spoke confidently. He walked to the center of where the Narutos stood, unafraid. I stood by Konohamaru. I covered my face, ashamed, knowing what was about to occur.
"Come on, Boss," Konohamaru spoke lightly. All the Narutos got in stance, as did Ebisu.
"Ready," Ebisu stated.
"Transform!" the first Naruto yelled.
"Transform!" the crowd on our left repeated. Then the crowd on the right repeated the same thing.
My back was then turned on him. I could hear the girls giggling. He was lucky that I didn't get offended that easily. In fact, other than when people insulted my friends, religion was one of the only things I got defensive about. It was in my family though. I lived a very shielded and religious life. I didn't even know what sex was till health class in school. And that was just recently. I was the innocent one among my pervertive clique at school. I never understood their jokes until Alex explained it to me and I would cover my face, ashamed, as I am doing now.
I heard the all the girls talking and giggling. It was obvious they have pounced on Ebisu already. I heard Ebisu scream and before I knew it, he was lying on the ground in front of me with a nose bleed.
I jumped slightly when he landed, shocked. I wasn't expecting him to land right in front of me. He twitched on the ground. "Gotcha… with my Harem Jutsu!" Naruto called from behind.
I bent over and poked Ebisu in the head with a stick I picked up. He continued twitching. I sighed and stood back up. "Well, he's out of it," I told them. Naruto laughed. The next thing I knew he picked me up from behind and swung me around. "What the!?" I cried.
"I did it! I did it! Hahaha!" Naruto cheered, spinning.
"Put me down!" I begged, clinging on to his shoulders for my life.
"I beat him! Believe it!" he frolicked around.
The sun just set and we were still in the forest. "Aw man!" Konohamaru cried in frustration. "I couldn't even beat that snobby trainer of mine!" he complained. "I wanna be Hokage so bad, but I keep messing up!" he continued. "Why can't I do it!?" he asked no one in particular.
"You really think it's that easy?" Naruto questioned.
"Huh?" Konohamaru questioned.
"To be the Hokage, you have to be the greatest of all ninjas. You have to prove yourself so everyone believes in you," Naruto told him. "Look at me. I've been through a lot already. I've been ignored, pushed away, and treated like I had the plague or something. And after all that, I found two people who believe in me," he explained, glancing at me. "To find those two people, I had to get knocked down a lot. So you better make sure that you're ready," Naruto continued.
"For what?" Konohamaru asked. Naruto turned his back to Konohamaru.
"For lots of sweat… and tears… while you're learning to be a ninja," Naruto spoke.
A dramatic breeze passed us by, making my hair blow in my face. I pushed it back and held on to it. Leaves flew around us. Naruto turned his head in Konohamaru's direction. He smiled his famous smile at him. "By the way, there is no easy way to becoming Hokage. Believe it," Naruto told him. Konohamaru had a small smile on. Konohamaru paused for a moment, as if he was in deep thought. He then narrowed his eyes at Naruto.
"Ha!" Konohamaru yelled, turning his back to Naruto. "Who do you think you are anyway, giving me a big lecture like that?" Konohamaru asked. "That's it. I'm not going to be your apprentice anymore," Konohamaru claimed. He turned back to face Naruto. "For now on," Konohamaru said, "we're rivals." Konohamaru laughed, revealing his missing tooth. Naruto chuckled next to me.
"Well, I can't be your trainer anyway. 'Cause tomorrow, I start my advanced ninja studies. But I accept your challenge, and someday we'll fight for the title Lord Hokage," Naruto spoke. "So let's both look forward to that day, Konohamaru," Naruto smiled. Konohamaru looked at him, shocked, most likely because Naruto used his real name. There was a dramatic pause before Naruto turned the other direction and started walking. I followed shortly behind him.
Naruto raised his hand in the air, rather than wasting energy to wave. I think he was trying to look cool. I ran up to his right and then slowed to his pace. I turned my head back to see Konohamaru's expression. He was saluting Naruto. Naruto was quiet all the way to town, for once. He must've been thinking.
"You did a good thing, Naruto-kun," I told him.
"You think so?" he smiled at me, rubbing the back of his head. I nodded.
"Well, other than teaching him that Jutsu. That was a little… strange," I said, trying to find words that wouldn't offend him. He just laughed and put his hands in his pockets.