Author's Note: triggers abound. This chapter deals with Hoyt for the first time. I pretty much stuck to what we saw in the show - I understand the books are a little darker, but I haven't read them.

CHAPTER TWO: COME JOIN ME

"Your nightmares follow you like a shadow, forever. " ~ Aleksandar Hemon, "The Lazarus Project"

Dedicated, hardworking, and protective of her partners – to a fault at times – Jane passed through the ranks quickly. She volunteered for extra shifts, took undercover assignments, and

The next time she thought she might die, Jane was called to an active shooter scene. Her heart racing, she crept around the campus, leading her partner, recognizing this meant she might – would – get hit first. When shots sounded from the opposite side of the building, all the officers in her sector took off running toward the commotion - and she led the pack. The suspect was in custody by the time she arrived with the rest of the team on her heels.

She dreamt of what it would have been like to be O'Neal, the officer that engaged the shooter, how the bullets would have crossed in mid-air, both true to their targets. They collapse in tandem – a kind of poetry to the death, the good falling at the same time as the evil. She dreamt of circling behind the shooter, seeing him draw a semi-automatic out of sight of the others. She'd throw herself into him to knock the weapon from his hand and a lucky stray bullet in the process would bury itself into her torso. She dreamt of negotiating herself for some imaginary hostage, of everyone being safe but her. When the SWAT team stormed, he'd take aim and shoot her as the squad fired. She turned the situation over and over in her dreams, dying a hero's death each time.

The first time she got finally shot on the job she didn't realize it until she got back to the precinct and felt the sting in her shoulder as she filled out paperwork. She'd been so occupied by the officer down next to her that she hadn't realized she'd been hit.

It was the first time she realized how adrenaline would always be her drug of choice.

Jane Rizzoli always went in first. Always. Everyone knew it. She disguised it as concern for her older partner, as determination to save the victims. And that was the truth – she was determined to save their lives at any cost. So it was no different that day; she descended the stairs to the basement, the girl's whimpers sounding in her head, before a crack sounded and she saw darkness.

When she woke up pinned to the floor with scalpels in her palms, she realized how much pain a body could contain. She considered whether she could rip her hands up through the scalpels, but even just keeping them still was sending flames up through her body. She clenched her toes in pain as she fought to keep her body from shaking as she focused on the voice speaking to her. "Janie, wake up, Janie. Ah, there you are." Above her hovered the haggard face of Hoyt.

The glint of the silver at her throat caught her attention. "Yes, it's my favorite tool." He raised it from her throat to flip it deftly between his fingers a few time, the movement practiced. "Scalpels are underrated. They're so small but effective…" his eyes flickered to her palms, "as I'm sure you've noticed."

The sound of a sob – not her own – made her realized the full extent of her situation: she was trapped and she hadn't saved the girl she had gone to rescue.

She had failed.

The thought sent a slight shiver up her body, one that would hardly have been noticeably except it shook her hands against the blades of the instruments in her palms and she involuntarily winced at the pain.

"Very, very effective," Hoyt said, making it clear the pain had not gone unnoticed. The scalpel at her neck was just pressed against the skin, the lightest touch, but dangerously close to death.

She bit her tongue. She might die for nothing, the very death she had never wanted, but she wasn't going to give this asshole the satisfaction of hearing her beg for her life.

"Very brave, Janie." He drew the scalpel in a line, leaving a thin line of blood, no deeper than a light paper cut. "But even if you say nothing, your body betrays you." He touched her chest. "See how fast you're breathing?" Then his fingers danced on the insides of her wrist, and she tried to flinch away, sending shooting pains up her arms. "And the pace of your pulse?"

He leaned closer. "You're afraid, Janie." His voice lowered further, a grave whisper. "That means I've won."

Pulling back, he showed her the scalpel with her blood on it, before moving it back to her neck. "Say goodbye, Janie," and when she heard the shouted "Hey" and two gunshots, she braced herself for the end, assuming that it must be coming, that it was over.

Instead, she saw her partner hovering over her, shaking off his jacket and putting it on her body. She began to shiver and her emotions rushed out, as she lightly cried at the pain that flared with every motion. Korsak's eyes were wide as he lightly said, "Oh Jane," before he took to the radio. "Officer down! H & H requested! That's officer down, EMS needed!" He kneeled at her side again as the response came through from dispatch. Jane only caught the "EMS en route, ETA 2 minutes" before the pain swirled loose in her abdomen. She tried to hold on as her vision blurred around the edges, but when Korsak's face blurred into stars, she let herself fall.

Fall into the blackness and the voice that was calling to her, in that terrible, all-knowing way.

"Come join me, Janie."

Author's Note: H&H is a Boston thing - ambulances operated under the Department of "Health and Hospitals", and officers (particularly older officers, as Korsak is) still use that code for Boston EMS sometimes. (There should be more to the radio call than that, but I don't know Boston's code system well enough to get it all right, so excuse the simplified one.)

The reception to this story - particularly the PM messages - have been overwhelmingly encouraging to me. This story is a labor of love, and so dear to me. All messages are so very very appreciated. The next chapter will be longer, but this was honestly the best place to end this one, hence the shorter-than-usual length. I hope you all continue to enjoy this story, as dark as it might be.

In the next chapter Maura makes her appearance - I promise! :)