As best she tried, Charlotte still found herself shaking, closing her eyes seemed to help, except when his face flashed in front of her.
She tried having Addison talk, but hearing her blather soon became worse than the uncomfortable 'I've been raped and you have to examine me again' feeling.
Fortunately inserting the speculum hadn't been a problem. Charlotte had been worried about the pain.
"Charlotte," Addison's tone was full of disapproval, with a tinge of pity.
Knowing her body, and what she'd done to it to force it back to normal, Charlotte knew what Addison saw.
"I see you took matters into your own hands."
Charlotte was grateful that Addison's voice was only full of disapproval.
"Don't know what you're talkin' about Montgomery," she lied blithely.
"Right." Addison sighed. "You could have come to see me. You should have come to see me."
"No thanks."
"At least if I'd done it, it would have been less painful for you."
Charlotte made a snorting sound. "I doubt it."
She heard Addison sigh heavily again. "I'm sorry, Charlotte."
"You know you still have some adhesions, and some of these tears, and the new ones you created by trying to rotor ruter your way through your vaginal scar tissue, haven't healed properly."
Uncharacteristically unprofessional she asked what was on her mind,
"How in the world did you manage to have sex with Cooper?" She asked, thinking of the immense pain it must have caused her.
"Once I got rid of the scar tissue, it wasn't really a problem."
Addison considered the strong posibility that her co-worker was lying. Then she considered how Charlotte King needed to be in control of her own life, and didn't want a single reminder of her rape. She was a sexologist, and everyone in the practice knew how hot and heavy her sex life with Cooper was- not that she wanted to know, but it was there. Having scar tissue from a rape inside her body was not only a reminder but most likely seemed like an extra slap in the face from fate. In that situation she was sure Charlotte was furious, and simply wanted the reminder gone as quickly as possible. And if no one knew about it but Charlotte, so much the better.
No wonder she didn't want to come see me.
"Well I'm at least glad you came to me to get your IUD out, before you decided to go all MacGyer on yourself again and take that out too."
She felt Charlotte laugh before she heard the sound.
Addison maneuvered the speculum farther.
"Let me know if this becomes too uncomfortable," she remembered to add. She felt sick remembering the last time she'd done this to Charlotte, and now thinking about the discomfort Charlotte must be in she was suddenly reminded of Amelia telling her all about how she'd stitched up Charlotte King's arm and her face without painkillers.
She wouldn't let me know if it was too uncomfortable, she realized.
"How's it going in there, Montgomery?"
She wondered if she'd just been sitting there motionless.
"You know there's an herbal oil suppository that would help to heal the internal scars and rehydrate the tissue," she spoke again. "It'd make sex a lot more comfortable, and help your reproductive organs return to a more healthy state."
She didn't tell her that Pete had these items.
"What the hell are you talkin' about, Montgomery?" Charlotte demanded. "If there was something like that, don't you think I'd know about it?"
"Well there is, and you don't know about it," Addison countered steering the woman in a direction where she couldn't say no. "Do you want the stuff or not?"
"Fine," Charlotte snapped, making sure to sound like she did not want nor need the stuff, "I'll take the crap."
"Good," Addison smiled.
Then with the light shining fully,Addison sighed. "Charlotte, you have scar tissue on your cervix."
Crap.
"I'm going to need to examine your uterus and ovaries as well, to make sure there isn't more. We'll do an ultra-sound as well. I'd have no problem fitting you in for a laporatomy to examine further."
"Just do this for now," Charlotte answered.
Addison sucked in her breath, wondering if this was how Amelia had felt.
She told Charlotte she could give her some valium or morphine for the pain, but she refused. Obviously, she'd tried to joke, she couldn't give Charlotte any local anasthetics for internal organs. She thought about a shot of lydocain into the vaginal walls themselves, but Charlotte shot that idea down with quickness.
"You realize that me removing the scar tissue is going to hurt like hell," she commented, worse than a shot of lydocaine."
"It ain' the pain I'm worried about," she half lied, "it's the brain damage that lydocain shots in that area can cause."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Addison laughed, finding the idea ludacris."
"You're double-board certified and you don't know this?" She was stalling, but she was also speaking the truth. "That stuff can go right into the blood stream that leads directly to the brain. It can cause ephasia, and worse irreversible brain damage."
"You're joking."
"I am not. I've seen it happen, and if you think about your anatomy and physiology you'll see why that's possible from just a 'simple' shot in the peritenium or vagina as opposed to the old fashioned 'shot in the butt'.
"I've done periteneal and vaginal lydocaine injections before," she objected.
"But you obviously haven't encountered the rare but possible brain complication. I have. So I don't want you anywhere near my vagina or perenium with a needle."
Addison just blinked. "Okay."
"You know this is going to hurt?" She said is slowly, incredulous, hoping that Charlotte would get the point and agree to taking something for the pain.
"That's putting it mildly."
"So, knowing this, you still want me to just-"
"Go at it?" Charlotte interuppted. "Yup."
Addison thought for a moment. "Charlotte this isn't needed right away. If you'd like I can remove the scar tissue after everyone in the practice has left for the day."
"So that no one will hear you screaming," is what she kept to herself.
Charlotte fought against wanting to be strong and stoic and not care about pain, and the out that Addison was giving her. With a long sigh she answered,
"Fine. We'll wait."