Ch 7 Scared Puppy Interns
Arizona Robbins-Torres was ready to be a mom again. She couldn't wait. A very big part of her couldn't wait to hold the tiny, adorable, squishy, perfect version of her -and some random donor- with her gorgeous wife's blood flowing through him/her. She couldn't wait to see Arden with her baby brother or sister; she couldn't wait to see her parents faces light up again at their new bundle of joy. But almost as much as she couldn't wait for their newest addition, she couldn't wait for her wife to not be pregnant.
Callie was undoubtedly glowing, but she was also temperamental, hard to please, and –if Arizona was honest with herself- a little hateful. The problem was: Arizona wasn't being honest with herself. She bit her tongue. She felt like she had no right to be mad about the way Callie was treating her, treating them, treating her residents, and sometimes even their daughter, because Callie was carrying her baby; a baby that Callie had hoped for years would be blonde with blue eyes and dimples to die for. But Arizona was tired; tired of trips out in the middle of the night to meet Callie's cravings; tired of the bitterness if Arizona couldn't find exactly what she wanted; tired of Callie not letting Arizona touch her; tired of breaking down in her office because at home she had to be super-mom and super-wife; and tired of Callie not noticing.
But Teddy noticed. Teddy noticed her best friend was never in the cafeteria for lunch anymore, or sneaking out of on-call rooms with her giggling wife behind her, or wearing Heelys, or laughing or smiling without the company of her daughter. And Teddy was bound and determined to get to the bottom of why.
"Robbins! What are you doing with that cute kid of yours this weekend?" Teddy asked Arizona excitedly as she walked up to the nurses' station Arizona had been charting at.
"Hmm…" Arizona thought audibly, "nothing specific; Callie's been feeling so… pregnant lately it's hard to plan much of anything. You know what it's like to let down a 4 year-old .The easiest thing is to play it by ear and hope Callie's in the mood to go somewhere. Otherwise we have a lot of cuddle time and slumber parties."
"And how many of those does Callie actually partake in?" The question was out of her lips before she could stop it.
"What?" Arizona was dumbfounded. She was stuck between the audacity of her friend's question and how she'd absolutely hit the nail on the head.
"Sorry. That wasn't supposed to come out of my head. It's just," Teddy paused, taking a brief look around, "follow me to your office for a minute, will you?"
Arizona nodded her head and began to follow her friend, unsure of the nature of their visit to her office. Once inside Teddy took a seat in one of the chairs that was rarely used.
"Let's start over, shall we?" Teddy asked, seeing the quizzical look on her best friend's face. "I was going to ask if you'd want me to take Arden this weekend. She hasn't stayed over in a while and, to be honest, I think you and Callie need a little time alone."
"Calliope and I are fine, what would make you say that?" Arizona immediately replied, getting unnecessarily defensive at her best friend's accusations.
"You're kidding right?" Teddy asked. When all she received was a shrug she continued, "You don't see it, or you don't want to. You two used to walk around making people want to puke with how happy and in love you were, and recently, she's like Bailey when everyone called her "The Nazi" and you're the scared puppy interns who walk away with their tail between their legs."
Hurt and anger flashed across Arizona's face and she was speechless.
"Okay," Teddy conceded, "maybe that was a little harsh, but really, Zona, you've been less than happy these days. And I get that pregnancies take a lot out on the partner, but this is… too much. You need some time just you two, or something. I'll take Arden."
"Teddy, it's not…" Arizona didn't know how to defend her wife's actions; Teddy was, right, mostly. "She doesn't mean to be so… mean. She's a hormone casserole. Arden's four, and needy. And I'm doing my best to keep my girls, and my tiny little surprise, happy."
"At what cost? When was the last time you and Callie had sex?"
"What?! Teddy, that is none of your business!" Arizona all but yelled.
"Okay, fine, then, when was the last time you laughed together, or went out for date night or did anything two people who are crazy in love do?"
"We do crazy in love things! Just not as frequently as before because like I said" Arizona started but was cut off by a page from none other than the topic of their conversation. "Ted, I gotta go, it's Callie. We'll talk more later, okay? I'll ask her about Arden this weekend and see if she had anything planned." With that Arizona held the door for her friend and went off in search of her wife.
When Arizona finally made it to the on-call room Callie paged her to, she was surprised to find her wife wrapped up in blankets with her back to the door. Walking over, she sat on the bed next to her wife before calmly placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Baby, is everything okay?" Arizona asked timidly. She was surprised by the mid-afternoon text to an on-call room. Suffice to say, Teddy wasn't all that incorrect in her assumptions and she wasn't surprised that what waited behind the door wasn't her loving wife hoping to waste her time with some extracurricular activity.
"I want to go see Addie," was the response she eventually got.
"Okay," Arizona hesitated. "Maybe we can go at the end of the month? Take a long weekend with Arden. It'll be nice to do one last trip with her before the baby comes and takes most of our attention."
"No, Arizona." Callie stated coldly, "I want to go see Addie this weekend. I know you have that Anderson kid here and you can't leave, but I need some fresh air, I need to get out of Seattle for a few days. Plus we're almost due for a checkup; she could just do it while I'm there." Callie's face remained at the wall, never turning to see her wife's gaze drop.
Arizona took a few deep breaths. Her mind heard Callie say that she needed to get out-of-town, her heart heard Callie say that she needed a break from Arizona.
"Cal, aren't you, isn't it…" Arizona hesitated, like she did anytime recently when she'd have to oppose something Callie wanted for hers or the baby's wellbeing.
"Isn't it what, Arizona?" Callie asked in a rush, finally turning to her wife. What Callie didn't notice, hadn't noticed for months, was that the sparkle left her baby blues, and something else replaced it; hurt, anger, sadness, fear.
"Aren't you too far along to fly out there? At least if we took a long weekend we could drive, we wouldn't be putting the baby at risk."
"Addie said it'd be fine. I'm taking Daddy's jet anyway." Callie answered nonchalantly.
"So it's decided then," Arizona asked incredulously, "you already talked to Addison, and your father, but not to your wife?"
"What's the big deal Arizona?" Callie snapped, finally sitting up from her position in the bed, her very pregnant belly sneaking out from beneath the blanket she'd been lying under. "It's just a couple of days; I'll be back on Monday. You'll hardly know I'm gone."
"Fine Cal." Arizona conceded. "When do you leave?"
"Tonight after my shift. I'm going to try to get Arden from daycare early. I'll take her home and get her dinner and a bath. You should be home in time to put her to bed. Mark said he'd take me to the airport."
Arizona deflated again; she didn't think it was possible. Addison Montgomery, Carols Torres, and Mark Sloan knew about her wife's plans before she did. With a sigh she moved to get up off the bed, she leaned down, placed a sweet kiss on her wife's forehead before whispering, "I love you, both," and walking away. She didn't miss her wife not returning those three words. Instead she'd said something like "I know," or "See you at home." But it certainly was not "I love you too." And as she walked away from the on-call room, again she felt herself deflate.
When she finally got back to her office, she let the last hour wash over her. How right had Teddy been? They weren't crazy in love anymore. Callie was going away for the weekend to get away from them, from her. She didn't say I love you. And part of Arizona knew it was the hormones, the other part, the bigger part, wondered if they'd ever get back to where they'd been all those months before; crying happy tears together for their new baby, making love and worshiping each other's bodies for hours on end, leaning on each other when things got hard, laughing together, sharing the joy of Arden in their lives. More than anything Arizona hoped it to be true, but she just wasn't sure.
To Teddy: Hey, Cal's going to go to LA to see Addie, can you still take Arden? I need some time alone. –A