CHAPTER 5

To Laura, Galactica felt cold and dim with its seemingly endless monochrome corridors that stretched out in all directions. Everything looked the same. She wondered how anyone on the ship knew where they were going; it was like being in a hall of mirrors, without the magic. One section was merely a sterile and gleaming reflection of another. There was a constant hum from the engines, a bland white noise that never ceased its ghostlike hum. Despite the large crowd that had turned out for the decommissioning ceremony, Laura found the ship oddly lonely. The feeling was only magnified by Richard's presence. She had so meticulously avoided being near him in any personal capacity since their she had ended the relationship. Their affair was tangled into the emotional upheaval and grief that had surrounded her family's car accident and inextricably woven into the memories of her cancer. She had a bad habit of lapsing back into old patterns where Richard was concerned, especially in moments of vulnerability. It was not a behavior that she was particularly proud of – or eager to repeat.

The audience was still and attentive during Bill's speech. He had a commanding way about him that held his listeners' complete focus. Laura observed that there wasn't even a single pair of eyes in her vicinity that were wandering, except perhaps hers – for just a moment – as she watched Bill's effect on the rapt crowd. As a speaker, Bill was almost gruffly direct. He got right to the heart of the matter without prevarication or pretense. He also had that distinctive quality that a charismatic speaker has of making the listener feel that they are the one and only person that he is addressing. The Cylon war, Bill explained, was a permanent scar on the past of humanity that people wanted to brush under the rug and forget. Bill spoke about the importance of remembering – so that history does not repeat itself, so that we learn from our mistakes and strive to do better. "We must learn more about who we are, and more importantly, about whom we want to become as we press forward." Laura appreciated not only the truth and simplicity of the message – but also the mere fact that Bill was daring enough to address it. Just because there was peace between the Cylons and the humans didn't mean that it was an easy peace. It wasn't. Some wounds won't ever completely heal. His speech hit her on a personal level as well; she didn't want to slip into old habits with Richard. She would be fooling herself to pretend that the temptation wasn't still there. But maybe by admitting it she could finally rise above it.

To Richard's irritation, it was Billy and not to him that Laura turned to, after Bill had finished speaking, to comment on a couple of things that the admiral had said and to inquire on how Billy was finding Galactica. Although he knew that her interest was maternal, that of a colleague and mentor, he still didn't like it. He had, after all, orchestrated the whole affair of getting Laura there and he wanted her all to himself. It had been too long.

Brenner leaned over and whispered nonchalantly in his ear, "Mr. President, they'd like you to start the receiving line."

Richard nodded and glanced once more at the Secretary of Education who was now whispering something else to Billy while they both looked at the admiral. The president sighed, put on his most polished smile, and walked over to congratulate Bill Adama.

"Admiral Adama, congratulations on your retirement. And on behalf of my entire administration, I'd like to extend my sincere gratitude for your many years of exemplary service."

Bill nodded and smiled. "Thank you, sir."

Richard shook Bill's hand and the two men posed for a photo. Afterwards, the president was escorted to a secure location before the festivities began.

Laura was next in line. "Admiral Adama," she said softly, tilting her head slightly; Bill liked the way that he could not only see her smile but hear it in her voice. It wasn't affected either. It was sincere.

"Madame Secretary."

"I thought we were on a first name basis, Bill," Laura remarked lightly.

"We were…until we weren't," he grinned, and his answering smile came from someplace deep within his core, making his eyes crinkle up at the corners.

"Mmmmm," she agreed with a soft nod. "My fault?"

"It's all right, Laura, I forgive you." Bill realized he was inadvertently flirting with her. Maybe not so inadvertently. Why was he flirting with her? But more importantly, he wondered, as she observed him with those spectacular green eyes of hers - was she flirting with him?

"Congratulations, Bill." Her voice jostled his thoughts.

And her hand was suddenly in his again. Oh, he liked it – too much. Many seconds passed as they stared at one another. Finally, the pair finally disengaged from their handshake but it was an awkward moment as their eyes lagged behind, continuing to latch onto one another even though their hands had separated. Laura wanted to tell Bill something important about his speech. Bill wanted to say something more interesting than a bland thank you for coming. But instead, they merely gazed mutely at one another with a mixture of bewilderment and barely suppressed amusement. Bill had never been so puzzled by his reaction to a woman in his life while Laura wondered what it was about William Adama that made her feel so perpetually uncomposed. Whatever inexplicable spark passed between them that first night when they had initially met at Lee and Kara's engagement dinner, it had not dissipated. If anything, it had only become more potent during this second meeting.

Thankfully, Lee saved the day. He clasped Laura's arm and pulled her gently over to him as he whispered in here ear, "Kara's just over there, Laura," he smiled, gesturing with his head toward Kara who was grinning and waving madly at her mother with an expression that clearly read, What just happened with you and Adama?

"Don't you dare ask," Laura said when she reached Kara and enfolded her daughter in a soft hug.

Kara giggled mischievously. Her eyes glittered. "Won't ask; won't tell. I thought that Lee was going to have to put out a fire." She raised an arched eyebrow at her flustered mother.

"Very funny," Laura seethed. "It was all of those camera flashes," she explained. "They can be so… distracting."

"Sure it was. I mean – you're so unaccustomed to them."

"Kara – "

"Okay, okay," laughed Kara. "Let's go get this boring dinner thing over with so we can get to the real fun." She and Lee steered Laura toward the festivities.

"Madame Secretary –"

Laura turned to see Billy waving at her wearing a stricken expression. Standing next to him was Richard's assistant, Mr. Brenner who wore an especially sour expression.

"You two go ahead," Laura advised Kara and Lee. "I'll be in in a few minutes."

"I'll make sure the admiral saves you a dance," giggled Kara as she latched onto her fiancé and widened her eyes at her mother.

Laura ignored her. But Kara's playful teasing was forgotten when she looked at Billy's serious face.

"Something wrong?" Laura asked.

Billy opened his mouth to respond but he was interrupted by Brenner.

"Everything's fine, Madame Secretary," Mr. Brenner assured her. "For security reasons, you will be staying aboard Galactica rather than returning to Colonial One. We'll settle everything after the celebration. Nothing to be concerned about. Truly. Billy, you go on ahead. I'll escort Ms. Roslin inside."

Billy made no movements to proceed. Instead, he looked at Laura.

"It's all right, Billy. Enjoy the party; I'll see you shortly," she assured him.

Billy nodded. "I'll be just inside."

Laura smiled. "Thank you, Billy."

Brenner watched the young man walk away. "You do have a knack for attracting devoted followers, Ms. Roslin."

Laura turned sharply to face the president's Chief of Staff. "What's going on? My daughter is on this ship. If Galactica isn't safe…."

Brenner sighed. "We are quite safe. Mr. Keikeya merely misunderstands."

"And what exactly does Mr. Keikeya misunderstand, Mr. Brenner?"

Brenner sighed. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Adar had wanted to catch Laura off guard; it was supposed to look like an oversight. If Billy hadn't overheard Brenner discussing things with the liason from Galactica, he could have pretended that with the crowded ship, it was merely an error - her having to share quarters with the president. But Brenner knew that Laura Roslin wasn't stupid so he opted for discreet honesty. "Mr. Keikeya didn't realize that your change of accommodations had nothing to do with a security breach but rather with the personal wishes of the President." Brenner regarded her meaningfully.

Laura understood. Richard wanted to be alone with her and he had asked Mr. Brenner to move her into his quarters. He wasn't there for the decommissioning ceremony. Richard was there for her.

"Yes well – that will be impossible," fumed Laura. "If the ship is, as you say, unexpectedly overcrowded – then I'll stay with my daughter. No need to inconvenience the president. You may tell him that I appreciate his hospitality but I have made other arrangements."

"As you wish, Madame Secretary." Brenner bowed his head officiously and strode down the corridor.

Laura was still seething when she arrived at the celebration. She was so furious at Richard that she couldn't even look at him. To make matters worse, she was seated right next to him, and this regrettable seating arrangement made it impossible for her to completely ignore him as she was seated at a table with military and other political dignitaries. Bill Adama sat across from her. Laura plastered a shining smile on her face and played the part of politician and happy mother-in-law-to-be while inwardly, she struggled against a mixture of anger and self-reproach.

Richard knew Laura well enough to realize that beneath her smiling veneer, she was upset. After the second round of drinks, and after he'd danced with a couple of other women, lest he look like he was singling out the pretty Secretary of Education, he escorted Laura to the dance floor.

"Everything all right?" he asked, leaning toward her ear.

"No, it isn't," she flared. "You deliberately – "

" – not here," Richard cautioned. "At least let me apologize." He felt her stiffen. "Laura, please….meet me in the observation room in five. Yates will escort you." Yates was one of the men who handled Richard's security.

It was easy to slip away unnoticed from the bustling party. The observation room turned out to be Laura's favorite part of Galactica. The wide windows afforded a view of the stars. They glittered silver against the stark black endlessness of space and somehow they made her feel less alone. Richard was leaning against the easternmost wall when she entered.

He motioned his head toward the view, his face still in profile. "It's pretty magnificent, isn't it?" he breathed.

Laura sighed, refusing to get lost in the scenery. "What do you want, Richard?"

He turned to face her then, looking at her squarely in that intent, magnetic way of his. "I don't think you have any idea how much I've missed you." He shifted, sliding his hands into his pockets. "Why can't we just go back to the way things were?"

"Because we can't."

"That isn't an answer." He took a few steps toward her.

"You'll have my resignation on your desk in the morning."

Richard stopped. He looked startled. It wasn't a card that he had expected her to play. He frowned. "With an election year coming up? Laura…." He took her hand into both of his. "I need you."

Laura pulled her hand away. "I won't do this anymore, Richard." She swallowed. "I can't." It would be so easy to simply give in. Richard was and always had been a shining distraction from the stifling loneliness that had seeped in when Kara was away, after the drunk driver had taken her father and her sisters. The cancer had only made things worse, a terrible reminder of what she'd been through with her mother and that inevitable, irrevocable loss. Laura had half hoped in some deep, secret part of herself that maybe it was a battle that she wouldn't win. If Kara hadn't pulled her back – she probably wouldn't have.

"Do you know who Brenner thinks should run for vice-president with me?" Richard continued, not missing a beat.

Laura turned to go, ignoring him.

Richard knew that his next words would stop her in her tracks so he made no motion to detain her.

"You, Laura."