Chapter 16

Laura stood in the entryway of Bill's apartment and watched as Saul and Ellen slinked past her with knowing and conspirational grins. She felt a little bit like the world was watching, only rather than finding it disorienting, it made her feel like she was part of a family again. Saul and Ellen obviously cared about Bill - just as Kara cared about her. They meddled and cajoled because they cared. Laura missed her family so much that the longing inside her was like a living, breathing thing, and this hint of well-intentioned familial interloping made Laura feel less adrift. It was as if she were coming back together again, slowly, and piece by piece.

"Come on in, Laura," said Bill. "You hungry? We were having some snacks when you arrived."

Bill closed the door and Laura stepped fully into his apartment. It was neat and clean but it had that overly shiny look of a place that was still getting worn in, like a too-new pair of shoes. Laura noticed that the kitchen table was spread with dips and crackers, chips, appetizers, and a plate of brownies. The food looked largely untouched. It implied the beginning of a get-together rather than an ending, and Laura surmised that the Tighs' departure had been premature.

"No, thanks, Bill. I'm not hungry. It looks like your guests weren't very hungry either," mused Laura. "Unless you're expecting someone else?"

"No. No one else." Bill hesitated; there was an awkward pause. "You know, I was looking everywhere for that book," he informed her as he leaned against the kitchen counter.

Laura laughed. "I'm sorry about that."

"It's all right, Laura. You had a lot on your mind and it's really not a big deal. I've got a whole shelf full of books here. I'll show you." Bill moved toward her and placed a guiding hand against the small of her back, directing her into the living room. There were still a few unpacked boxes, half opened, strewn by the edge of the right hand wall. He pushed one of the ones that was sticking out back a bit so that the path was clearer. Suddenly, Bill bent down to pick up a piece of white fabric that Laura was relatively certain was a pair of boxer shorts that had fallen on the floor and then gotten wedged in between the two boxes. But he retrieved the mysterious garment and stuffed it down into one of the boxes so quickly that Laura wasn't completely positive. Her suspicion, however, was confirmed when his deep blue eyes met her green ones. She was certain because of the way he seemed to be seeking a reaction from her in his searching look. Laura couldn't help but smile, half amusement, half something else. Her pulse danced. She watched as Bill released a breath.

"I see that you unpacked your books first," remarked Laura hastily to fill the gap in conversation, as she peered at the shelf with its symmetrical rows of books, all neatly arranged.

"Yeah. I have my priorities straight." Bill wasn't looking at the bookshelf when he said it; he was looking at her.

"You've always loved to read?" She met his gaze, head on, as she ran the tip of a finger against the wooden shelf.

"Yeah," said Bill as he watched the motion of her hand.. "Deep space can get pretty dull when we're working off generators and have to conserve electricity. It's always good to have a book on hand. You had quite a collection of books at the cabin, too, I noticed."

"Mmmm. My dad and I were the big readers in the family. You could have borrowed anything there that you liked."

"I never borrow or lend books. But I do give them as gifts." Bill gestured to the shelf. "Take one."

"I couldn't do that," protested Laura.

"Sure you could." Bill plucked one of his favorite books, Searider Falcon, off of the shelf and handed it to her. "It's one of my favorites."

Laura offered a slow smile as she glanced from the book to his face and then back again.

"Mine, too," Laura marveled. She examined the cover of the novel before opening and closing it, inhaling the scent of paper and well-loved words. The fabric of the spine was flexible and worn. Images of Bill reading flashed across her mind. She imagined what his hands would look like holding the book in between them, fingers caressing the edges, leafing through the pages. She handed the book back to him.

"You mean you've read it?" Bill asked her, equally astonished.

"Several times.. My copy is in about the same shape as yours. While I appreciate the gesture of a gift, I really think that you should start a new tradition of borrowing and lending books. It's a good cubit-saver and friends enjoy lending to one another."

Bill considered her proposal, his face intent in that serious, almost stoic way of his. He returned Searider Falcon to the shelf. "I'll agree to lend you a book, Laura," said Bill softly in his deep voice. "Of course, that means that you'd have to come back here to return it."

"Yes, I would, wouldn't I?" Laura replied, her voice low. Bill was looking at her so intently that she lost her focus for a moment and had to look away. She noticed two small figurines on the top of the bookshelf and she picked one up. It was a small clay bear sitting up on its haunches and it looked like something that the small hands of a child had made - but she could definitely make out the bear shape with its rounded ears and big paws.

"Lee made that," explained Bill, "in second grade. Bet you can't guess what the other one is."

Laura put the bear down and picked up the other figurine. Tiny fingers had bunched the pieces of clay together to form a face, body, feet, and a tail but the amorphous figure was impossible to distinguish any kind of animal. Laura turned it over and could see remnants of dried glue where it had been lovingly mended many times throughout the years.

"A platypus?" guessed Laura with a questioning shrug of her shoulders.

"A wolverine," said Bill. They both chuckled. "Zak made that. If his big brother had a project for school, he had to make one, too. I always kept those with me on Galactica. They made good paper weights in my office. I felt like this was the right spot for them. After Zak passed, it took me a while to be able to have his things around."

"Oh, Bill, I'm sorry. It's easier to have mementos around now?"

"Yeah. I like remembering. The ache doesn't ever go away but there's such a big part of remembering that's good. It's like having a piece of Zak that's always with me - you know, in the memories. I don't want to lose that."

"I hope I get there someday. I'd like to have more of the family's things around me, too."

Bill placed a hand under her chin and tilted her face up, just a fraction. "You will." And suddenly his arms were around her and hers were around him. It was nice to be held like that, by someone who wasn't asking anything from her. All of those reasons that she'd been over in her mind about how and why she shouldn't give in to her feelings for Bill, eroded a little more. Laura released a long sigh and surrendered to the rightness of the moment. It was a relief to share all of this with someone who understood; she felt less alone. Bill imbued her with hope.

Laura took in a big breath. She'd never ask him if she didn't do it now."I think I'm going to go back to the cabin next weekend and go through their things. Would you -"

"Yes," said Bill as he rubbed her back. "Whatever you need, Laura."

They shifted apart. "I should go, Bill. I just wanted to get your book back to you."

Bill pulled a book from the shelf. "I think you're forgetting something. Here. Borrow this one. It's a page-turner."

Laura glanced at the title. "Blackbird?"

"You haven't read that one, too, have you?" grinned Bill.

Laura smiled. "No. Thank you, Bill. I'll take good care of it."

"I know you will. Let me walk you out."

He made a motion for her to walk in front of him. As they reached the door of his apartment, Laura turned around and kissed him goodbye on the cheek. It just seemed like the right thing to do and she followed the impulse.

The man certainly had a knack for shattering her resolve to keep her distance. She was failing miserably.

Bill whistled as he worked on a broken console, expertly replacing damaged wires or tightening loose ones as he knelt on the floor of the cockpit. He and Saul had just overhauled the engine to the old model Zephyr, a spacious luxury ship perfect for off-world travel for those who could afford it.

"This isn't a bad gig," murmured Bill to Saul as his friend returned with a couple of bottles of water for the two of them. "Air conditioned workspace, short work week, and nobody on your back."

"Told you," said Saul as he opened up his bottle. "I knew I had to do something after I retired. Ellen and I would probably kill one another if we had to be home together constantly. You're awfully jolly for a man who claims that your little Sunday afternoon alone time with Madame Secretary was perfectly innocent."

Bill shrugged. "It was."

"Why are you taking things so slowly with her?"

"We've only known one another for about a month. We haven't even gone out on a real date yet."

"You spent a weekend with her, Bill. You'd better be careful or you're going to get relegated to the friend zone."

"I'm not worried," said Bill calmly.

"Ellen's been pestering me about Friday. Did you invite her out for drinks with us?"

"She can't this Friday. She's going to the cabin again."

"You should come then - "

"I can't either." Bill suddenly seemed to be fascinated with the pair of pliers in his hand. "I'm going with her."

"Sounds like a date to me," huffed Saul with widened eyes. "You sure you haven't even kissed her yet?"

"What is this, eighth grade? No. And it's not a date. We're just going as friends. I'm just offering some moral support." Bill wouldn't even try to begin to explain the awkward semblance of a kiss they'd exchanged at the cabin and Laura's lovely cheek-kiss wasn't up for discussion either. Some things simply didn't warrant explaining, even to his best friend. Bill knew that Saul's teasing wasn't just a male thing about encouraging him to take Laura to bed; Saul wanted him to be happy. Bill tolerated the teasing because he understood the subtext, although the frequent discussions about Laura and sex weren't exactly helping him stick to his resolve to take things slowly.

"Moral support," scoffed Saul. "I just know how overly cautious you are since Carolanne, and I haven't seen you this serious about a woman since - well - since ever. How is Carolanne these days?"

"She's fine. I hear she's fine. Her and her husband. I'm not going to make the same mistakes again. Everything with Carolanne was so rushed and a lot of that was my fault. I was young and impulsive." And very much in love. Blinded by it. He had fallen hard for his ex-wife in those magical early days of their relationship. "We shouldn't have gotten married so fast. And being in the military gave me a great excuse to gloss over our problems. I was away a lot. I wasn't always...oh, hell, Saul, I don't want to talk about Carolanne."

Saul put his hands up in mock surrender. "Okay, okay. You don't have to tell me twice. But don't think that just because you're sneaking off to Galatea for a little rendezvous with Roslin this weekend means that you're going to escape going out with me and Ellen."

Bill sighed. "I'll ask her. We'll see if we can do it next Friday. Anything to get you to stop pestering me," grumbled Bill.

Saul's lips spread into a wide grin. "Listen to you. We. Oh, you've got it bad and that ain't good," sang Saul.

"Oh, shut up," said Bill. But he was smiling.

Laura was so busy at work that the week just flew past. She had little time to second guess herself for plunging headfirst off the precipice and inviting Bill to spend another weekend with her at the cabin. Richard had been called away to meet with the delegate for Saggitaron, the outspoken Tom Zarek, who was very irate over the planet's statistically large percentage of blue collar jobs compared to wealthier planets like Caprica and Virgon. Richard had gone off-world to meet with Zarek and other Saggitarion officials in hopes of smoothing ruffled feathers. The controversy gave Laura a few days where she was absolutely certain that she wouldn't be running into the president.

To Billy's surprise, Laura took a couple of hours of vacation and left work early to get ready for her weekend. Her early departure was a rarity; she usually looked for excuses to stay at work. Rather than take separate cars to the cabin, Bill had offered to drive them there in his truck. They had a small hitch in the proceedings at the last minute. Kara had completely forgotten to tell her mother that she wanted her to stop at a local bakery with her and Lee to try some wedding cakes on Friday afternoon. Bill had been extremely accommodating and promised that they would stop there before heading to the cabin, easily adapting to the change in plans.

Kara and Lee sat cozily in a corner of the little bakery called Hestia's Hearth sipping cups of steaming cinnamon topped cappuccino, playing cards, and waiting for their parents to arrive. There was a festival this weekend at the River Walk so the little bakery wasn't crowded but it had been difficult to find parking. Lee didn't mind waiting for Laura, although he was pretty surprised when Kara had told him that his father was coming, too. And even more stunned when she informed him that the two of them were returning to the cabin for another weekend.

He still worried a little bit about his father getting hurt but Kara had briefly explained, during their run last week, that her mother was no longer seeing the president. Lee, frankly, was relieved to put the whole thing behind them. He still felt conflicted about having disclosed to Kara what he'd seen, especially considering how upset she'd been. Kara had never had a real father. Although she'd never admit it in a million years, Lee knew that she was secretly enchanted with the idea of their parents uniting because of the sense of family it implied - as well as wanting to see her mother happy. Lee still had his doubts about how well suited their parents were for one another but he did like Laura and he hoped that things would work out.

Kara won the fifth game of Vulcan's Hammer, a silly kids' card game they were playing for fun to pass the time. Lee rolled his eyes at her as he laid his cards down with a sigh.

"You know, you, you're not fooling anybody," he told her.

Kara offered her most disarming smile and raised her eyebrows innocently. "What?"

"I see you stacking the cards."

Kara giggled. "I was waiting for you to notice."

"I noticed the first hand," protested Lee. "I was hoping to beat you anyway, teach you a lesson, and put an end to your reign of terror."

"I don't cheat in a real game," Kara assured him.

Lee grinned. "Oh, I know. There'd be no reason to. And that's exactly the reason I never play Triad with you."

The bell on the bakery shop door jangled and Lee watched as Bill and Laura entered the bakery. His father didn't notice them right away because he only had eyes for Laura, who was walking in front of him.

"Sorry we're late," said Laura as she put her arms around Kara's shoulders. Lee observed that there was something almost child-like about the way Kara looked at her mother. She adored her. The softness was such a contrast to Kara's usual tough-as-nails demeanor. The two of them could have entire conversations that Lee couldn't even begin to understand, full of inside jokes and little references that only the two of them could decipher. There were still a lot of things that Kara had never talked to him about regarding her biological mother, not that he felt that she had to go into detail about the abuse. But watching Kara with Laura always tugged at Lee's heart a little bit. He was glad that they were so close.

Laura leaned over and gave Lee a peck on the cheek. "Traffic was terrible I hope you weren't waiting long."

"No worries, Laura," Lee assured her. "Kara and I were just chatting and playing cards."

"You have to watch her," said Laura, "she cheats."

"Yeah, I know," said Lee.

Kara swatted her fiancé. "I'm going to grab the cake samples."

While Kara was taking care of getting the samples of wedding cake, Lee had an opportunity to observe his father and Laura as they chatted with him. They seemed more at ease, certainly, than they had been at dinner but they both seemed inordinately aware of the other's space; that telltale awkwardness that had been there when they'd danced together at the decommissioning ceremony still prevailed. At the time, Lee had read it as them simply having personalities that clashed. But as he watched his father edging his way past Laura to order them a couple of coffees, taking great pains not to even accidentally touch her, Lee began reading it in a whole new light.

With Kara and his father at the counter, Lee found himself alone with Laura. She sat down across from him and glanced over at Kara and his dad, before leaning toward him and lowering her voice. "Lee," she began, "I'm sure this is probably a little awkward for you after you saw - "

Lee immediately interrupted her. "It's fine, Laura. Really. You don't have to explain anything."

Laura fiddled with the edge of the plastic tablecloth. He'd never seen her fidget with anything before. She was always so poised. "Your father has been very supportive as I've been trying to work through some unresolved grief over the accident. We're friends, Lee, and I would never do anything to hurt him."

"I know, Laura. I'm happy for you and for him." His blue eyes sparkled. "I'm rooting for you - for both of you - however things turn out."

"Always the diplomat," smiled Laura, meeting his gaze.

Lee laughed. "I mean it."

"I know you do. Thank you, Lee." Laura gave him a maternal hug and as her chin rested briefly on his shoulder, she whispered in his ear, "I'm glad you're going to be joining the family."

Laura released him. Lee understood then why Kara fell so easily under the spell of her mother as he found himself a little choked up. Oh, his dad was in big trouble, he thought wryly.

Kara returned with samples of cake and Bill followed shortly after with a coffee for him and Laura. The plates had four different types of cake for them to try in miniature samples.

"What do we start with?" asked Bill.

"Try this one first," advised Kara, pointing to a white cake with white frosting. "It's the best one," she encouraged.

They each took bites of cake. Bill gave a cursory nod. "Eh, it's okay."

Kara let out a loud laugh as Lee and her mother reached for napkins and coffees.

"Black licorice," spluttered Lee as he chugged his cappuccino. "Yuck. I hate black licorice."

"Anisette," corrected Kara.

"Yeah, whatever you want to call it. Ugh. It's disgusting." Lee offered Laura a sympathetic smile as he watched her with the napkin pressed against her mouth. "You don't like it either?"

"I hate black licorice. Worst thing ever."

Kara was still giggling. "Oh, the look on your faces! I had to…."

"She has a sadistic side, Lee. You may as well know now," Laura warned him.

"I've known Kara long enough to experience the heights of her cruelty," teased Lee. His fiancée was a notorious practical joker. "Are the rest of these safe?" he asked.

Kara nodded. "Pineapple cream, strawberry cream, and the other one is vanilla with chocolate shavings."

"I like the strawberry cream," said Bill and Laura in unison. They smiled at one another across the table.

"The strawberry and cream do go really well together," agreed Kara with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

Laura and Bill headed for the cabin shortly after their kids decided on the strawberry and cream cake. They wanted to arrive before it got dark, if possible, which wouldn't be too difficult as long as the traffic was light. It was the height of midsummer and the days were longer. They'd probably arrive right before dusk with no trouble.

"Thanks for driving," said Laura as they traveled down the highway. There weren't too many cars on the road and they were making good time. "And for coming."

"It's my pleasure. You're doing me a favor, actually. I've never been much for the city. Galatea is a nice change."

"Still not warming up to Caprica City?"

"It's not so bad." Bill kept his eyes focused carefully on the road. "There are some things in Caprica City that I like a lot."

Laura hummed and smiled. She didn't know what it was about Bill and the cabin but it had seemed so right to ask him to join her for another weekend. She still didn't feel quite ready for any of this, for what it meant or what it didn't mean. Her world was shifting from monochromatic shades into vivid colors again, slowly and by degrees.

Ready or not, she would embrace it.