The march after a hollow victory is sobering, the regret filled stupor after a sledgehammer hangover. The flight from out of the caves had been a blur and largely uneventful. No one spoke, each left in their own thoughts. Caught between two guilts of either leaving the body or simply carrying home a carcass, Harrvok chose the later. It was gruesome but the Turian could not go all that way and not find some means of closure for Siera's family. Her empty shell was slung over his shoulder as they trudged their way back.

Lucas did not feel any decisive emotions and currently was trying not to contemplate anything. Yes, he had claimed responsibility if Siera had died but he had not anticipated that she would kill herself. He felt a tinge of regret for giving her the pistol but only in that he was sorry it was the instrument she used to kill herself. If only he had known. Of course, not giving her the weapon probably would have only prolonged the inevitable anyway. Here was a familiar world to him, the fleeting, foggy world of mists that was the universe of "what ifs."

Eulias felt sorrow upon sorrow. Still he blamed himself for what happened and still he regretted she had not died outright. Now he also regretted that she died anyway. Siera had worked alongside him since the start of their careers for the Council. It was more than losing a co-worker, it was losing a close friend. In his mind he was a betrayer due to circumstances, a man as helpless to his sin as Judas was helpless to greed that brought him to betrayal. At the moment, hanging would probably be a relief.

Chroso was exhausted. He had been dragged into a responsibility that was not his and proved to be of little help. Perhaps he contributed more than he himself expected to, but it was still little help. Right now the sores, fatigue and hunger all demanded attention and he wanted nothing more than to return to the safety of his home and collapse. He could think about starting his new project after all of those immediate needs were met. Perhaps this adventure started out as an injustice but it turned out to bring an unexpected profit.

"Search and rescue team, you have gone silent for awhile. Are you still there? Please respond." Harrvok's radio messaged a concern voice to their ears. It was a baffling moment. In all the excitement and chaos, Harrvok had completely forgotten to radio their status back to base.

"Uh, yeah, this is Harrvok and the rest of the squad. We are returning to base." Harrvok muttered, not caring for standard protocols anymore.

"What were the results of your mission?" they all hesitated but eventually the Turian responded.

"We found one of the missing persons. The other...well...just prepare a body bag for our arrival." there was a momentary but telling pause on the other end of the radio.

"Copy that. We'll await for your arrival."

--

Jima's darkened visor reflected the readouts on the computer monitor before her. Right now there were opposing factions scrambling for control of attention in her mind. One demanded that she focus on the names and results that were on the readout before her. It was far from uplifting news. These were the first few results from the lumbar puncture test they had preformed. She had yet to find a single negative among the names. Inevitably, her compassion and sorrow for them would bleed out from her soul.

Alas, the other contender for her mind was stifling that with the appearance of a sudden, new phantom. This one was of guilt. It was having a tighter grip.

"I should have been the one leading. I am the Spectre, the one given responsibility over this mission. I shouldn't be sending out my second in command, Julland, just because he has better training in command and combat. If anything, I should be going out with him. No, instead I stayed here in safety. What became of that?"

"Because I stayed behind, because I wasn't there, Filara lost her eyesight. Perhaps if I were there things could have been different. Because I wasn't there, Shanata almost died. I'm suppose to be the Spectre and I shied from my responsibilities..."

The regretful Quarian let out a sigh and felt a newfound ambition rise up within her.

"Next time, it will be different. Next time, I will be stronger..."

And deep within her, a sad whisper told her that she knew herself that she wasn't that strong at all.

--

"Lieutenant..." Harrvok started. They were almost there. There were almost back at the base. The Turian remembered that a medical examination would be awaiting them. They would have to be tested for that prion found in the plants. Of course, everyone else at the base would have already been examined. It was only now that Harrvok's thoughts turned to someone else.

"What, Harrvok?" Lucas asked, idly kicking a pebble.

"I could use some advice on a relationship issue." Harrvok confessed. Lucas inwardly winced. Years as a former Catholic ministerial student had taught him a lot about the deep issues. He could talk about heaven, hell, angels, demons, God, the Devil, good and evil, life and death and even the best metaphors for the Trinity. Despite all that, heaven forbid they talk about relationships. At least God the Father was consistent enough to remain in an eternal Trinity. Human beings were so inconsistent that their taste buds changed every two years. What hope did that leave for any solid relationship advice?

"Say I've come down with a long term but terminal disease. It will kill me in a horrific way. I can have anywhere from several months to several years. Imagine that I love someone romantically and suppose they feel the same way for me. What should I do?" Harrvok asked. Lucas momentarily stepped out of his perspective to wonder just how bizarre the circumstances were that they could be talking about this while a dead body hung on Harrvok's shoulder. Life is certainly a mystery.

"Well, first I would say don't readily give up. Hope can be a medicine all its own. Just because the doctors say something is terminal, well, to use a human saying, it isn't over until the fat lady sings."

"I don't really understand what that means." Harrvok admitted.

"Basically, you're not dead until you stop breathing, so don't get ahead of yourself. Keep living, you never know what miracles can happen." Lucas clarified.

"I guess, but that doesn't address the relationship part." Harrvok replied.

"Right. Look, be honest with her. Or him. I assume it's a her." Lucas stumbled.

"If it weren't for the fact that we just met, I'd take offense to that. It's a 'her,' of course." Harrvok grumbled.

"Well first off, give me a break, we just met. Second of all, you never know these days." Lucas grumbled.

"Regardless, what else were you going to say?"

"Second, if you're certain she loves you, don't be afraid that she will reject you. True love is selfless and will not abandon the one it loves, especially in their time of greatest need, no matter the circumstance. The true test of love is not the height of affection it pours out. Any sap can do that. It is measured in the hardships it is willing to endure, even in the face of unreturned love." Lucas explained.

"Hmmm...thanks."

"Don't mention it."

The four of them were able to see the outlines of the base and grounded Shiloh on the horizon. They were all about to breathe a sigh of relief when they were suddenly set upon by a group of faceless doctors, all of them in helmeted hazmat suits.

"Drop your belongings and strip of your armor. You are all under isolation until after we decontaminate you and run the tests." one of them explained over a radio mouth piece. The sigh they let out turned into one of annoyance.

"Just when I thought I could finally go home..." Chroso grumbled.

--

Pelona had heard the news. The search and rescue team had returned home. However, they had one body bag among them. Before she could get sent on another worry trip, she spotted Harrvok's outline among those being escorted by the hazmat crew. The Asari felt elated. He had returned home, at least for the moment they were safe.

The sudden relief sent a spasm of pain through her chest. She never thought she would be this relieved and excited all at once. Even better was the comfort knowing that neither of them would be infected. Of course, it was mandatory that he would have to go through the screening.

A faint worry came through her mind that perhaps he may have contracted something, including the prion, fighting through the caves. It was a stray thought but she brushed it away. If he was still here then it was more than likely his armor had not been breeched. He would be fine. He had to be.

She also spotted Dr. Jima walking up to join the hazmat team. The Quarian was idly resting a paw in one of her lab coat's pockets. Pelona could not confirm it but she wondered if there was something bothering the doctor and Spectre. No one could be too sure of Jima's mood since her facial features were practically rendered invisible from the visor. Everyone had to count on her body language and that was practically a learned art as well as an inexact science.

The Asari peered through her thin glass frames. Jima had apparently walked right up next to the human, Lucas she assumed, and seemed to be whispering to him about something important. She wondered what that was about.

--

It had been several mind numbing hours in isolation. Harrvok, Eulias, Chroso and Lucas were each placed in a separate room for any last minute monitoring and testing. Even if they were to escape the prion, there could be any other sickness or diseases they could have contracted. Instead, Lucas was given a small wireless headset so he could communicate with the Shiloh's crew. After having a pleasant if brief exchange with Dalora, the lieutenant listened in on the final debriefing and the pieces they were able to put together.

Dolphos was able to conclusively deduce that the mercenary group was put out of commission. They had been led by a certain Dorian McDowell. This man was a mercenary king in his own right who specialized in obtaining and selling promising biological weapons. The man had to be constantly connected to a web of the latest information. It was how he was able to deduce prospects and head for them. The sudden wipe out of the colony of Uruk certainly caught his interest. Indeed, he could have gotten his hands on this prion.

As for Lucas and his team, because of blood splatters and their close contact, all of their equipment, from their weapons to their armor came up positive for having the prion on them. All of their equipment would have to take a special bath in an autoclave, essentially an oversized pressure cooker, to heat and warp the malicious protein out of commission. Council authorities had already promised that any equipment that did not work would be reimbursed. Lucas wanted to make sure that his armor and weapons would be returned right down to the proper shade of camouflage. Of course, now it was a matter of figuring out if they were infected with the protein but that would have to come in its own time.

"I know the concept in my head but I will never understand it. How can anyone go with developing a weapon based on directly attacking our organic systems." Jima commented.

"We've been doing it since time immemorial. Ever since the first one of our species figured out that hurling a rock at something else tends to hurt it, the arms race began. Biological weapons is just another pursuit of finding yet another option for the desperate general who needs to win another battle." Julland replied.

"I know. But it shouldn't be that way." Jima replied over the radio. Lucas felt the need to say something.

"There's a lot of things that shouldn't be the way they are. That's why we also have to fight to make them better if not completely right. It's easy to find a way to destroy something. It's harder to come up with solutions to make it better."

"I hope you're trying to imply that we're the type of people that try to make it better, Lucas." Jima said.

"I hope so myself." Lucas muttered whimsically. Why did he have to have a job that always confronted the big questions?

"Speaking of making this better, your isolation time has ended. I need you to take care of that errand that I asked you about, Lucas. Please, could you do that?" Jima asked.

"It will be done...once I get out of this medical smock."

--

Dalora insisted that she come with Lucas who did not mind having her along. Still, there was the unspoken understanding that he would have to do most if not all of the talking. However, Dalora also knew that this would probably be a little emotional for him. He had been in the same place himself.

"Ahem...uh, Filara. This is Lucas." the lieutenant hated introductions like this. He also knew that he was going to hate this job. Still, Jima had decided it would be best that he do it. For some reason all of the Shiloh had the impression that he had a way with words. Frankly, he wondered why they would ever think that. Though they all spoke English, his native German is not exactly the most graceful language in the universe.

"Oh. Hi, Lucas." the Asari seemed confused if not a bit frightened. Her head swiveled around, groping to see anything. Lucas let out a sympathetic sigh. He knew what that was like.

"I hope you're feeling better. I'm glad you survived that fight back there." Lucas wondered just how truthful that was. Truth be told he barely knew her. Then again, of course he was happy she survived. No one liked it when someone kicked the bucket.

"I still feel a little pain. I- I can't see. There's something over my eyes." Filara answered.

"Yes. That's why I'm here. Jima asked that I talk to you about that." Lucas admitted. He felt Dalora touch his shoulder. The bomb was ready to drop.

"What? Why?"

"You're blind, Filara. The grenade ruined your eyes." Lucas forced himself to say. Filara's facial features registered distress.

"You mean...permanently?"

"Yes, Filara. I'm sorry."

Lucas wondered if the pained contortions on that Asari's face were similar to the ones he expressed when the same news was given to him. It made it even worse since he knew that he was given redemption in his eyesight returning. She would never have that chance of atonement. He also knew that this bitterness was going to be salted with yet another insult.

Filara was probably suffering from the confusion of what she was feeling. Yes, there was the deep anguish and sorrow but no tears. Lucas remembered that as well since it happened to him too. The tear ducts had been destroyed. She couldn't even shed tears. You'd be amazed how surprisingly comforting they can be, at least, you don't recognize it until its forever gone from you. Even the writer Dante recognized this. In his Divine Comedy he wrote of the especially cursed souls forever damned in hell. Some of them were denied the soothing of tears.

Lucas wasn't sure how long he waited there for Filara to finally cease the anguished cries. Fighting the urge to do something, anything to provide some comfort, he slipped his hand on the Asari's. At least she would know that there was someone despite the permanent darkness. He ignored the pain when her grasp threatened to crush his hand. Finally, she was calming down.

"I'm sorry, Filara, but this isn't the end. You can take this in different ways. I too thought of the same when I was in your place. The blind can lead fulfilling lives. Perhaps you can no longer serve on the Shiloh but that doesn't mean you can't serve a cause that is just as noble, if not better." Lucas said. Filara did not answer and he knew that she was carefully weighing everything he said. He remembered the Asari belief of a cycle of life, consciousness returning from the void.

"You can make a new life for yourself, Filara. I can't point that direction to you. I will pray for you always, though. I hope that you will find your new life calling soon. I'll pray that despite this darkness, what you will do with it will bring more light to others."

The lieutenant and his beloved waited until the Asari drifted back to sleep.

--

The Council medical headquarters became a house of unspoken mourning. Over 90% had become infected with the prion that they had been researching. Each of the doctors would have to deal with it their own way. They all knew the facts. The prion often triggered its effects due to the abundance of its particles in the system. A steady diet of the contaminated plants would fire off the detonation sooner than a one time injection. Because of their limited exposure, they had anywhere between months to decades. Of course, it was inevitable that they had it. There was minimal risk of exposing others to it so long as nothing consumed their tissues.

That was still small comfort. Some could hope that their natural life span would end before they would feel the effects. Most of the Salarians held onto that. Others decided they would deal with it when the time would come. Others found that they would dedicate their research to find a treatment or even a cure. They had a personal stake it in now.

Harrvok was not one of their number. His results came back clean and he was glad when he heard from Lucas that all of the Shiloh's crew were also negative for the prion's presence. There was just one more he had to share the joy with. He practically burst into the morgue.

"Pelona! Pelona, I'm back and I have great news!" the Turian blathered, completely throwing aside his normal, quiet composure.

He was shocked to find Pelona sulking at a desk, quietly weeping.

"Pelona...what's wrong?" Harrvok asked cautiously, coming to the Asari's aid. He was immediately caught off guard when she left her spot and desperately clung to him. The news came in broken laments.

Though both of them had inadvertently avoided the plants, there was still one almost forgotten time when Pelona was exposed to the prion. She herself had to rack her minds to remember it. However, it was decisive and almost an angry twist of fate.

There was that one time she cut her hand with the scalpel when she was cleaning the instruments. The prion had been used to cut the dead bodies that were infected with the protein. The particles had clung to the steel and were undeterred by the simple sterilization process. Most caustic chemicals or a long bath in an autoclave would have done it but that was not part of the standard procedure. Regardless, that scalpel had cut her hand and had in turn given her the prion. She had come back positive.

As Harrvok numbly held onto the devastated Asari, he remembered what Lucas had told him. He now knew what he would have to do. He would be there for the Asari no matter how long. He vowed within himself that night that he would be there for her, even until the bitter end.