Charlotte
***
The girl was back in the same place the next morning, on the floor, back pressed against the wall, arms wrapped tight around her knees, eyes wide, silent.
"Hi," I said. I didn't know if she recognized me. "Do you mind if I sit with you again?" I sat next to her slowly, refinding the familiar stretch of wall with my eyes, this time lit with pale morning light.
"You're pretty quiet, huh?"
Again the careful, listening, stillness.
"I don't mind that. Sometimes I don't feel like talking either."
I turned to look at her slowly. Her face was almost impassive, a mask, but her eyes were haunted, frozen on a spot half way to the floor. The empty ward loomed still around her.
"Sometimes I like talking though. Sometimes I like talking to my friends, or my family. It must get lonely, not being able to talk to anyone."
She started to cry softly, hiding her face in her arms. She must be lonely. I looked at her unhappily, wishing I could comfort her.
"I'm sorry," I said softly, "I don't want to upset you. It just makes me sad, to see you lonely like this. I know you don't like to talk about some things, but it makes it awful lonely if you can't talk about anything. I'd like to talk to you. Is there anything we can talk about, that won't upset you?"
She glanced at me, but said nothing. I was encouraged; she had initiated eye contact, this was a major step. I gave her time, waiting for her to find a topic she was comfortable with.
"I like your dress," she said finally in a small strained voice.
"My dress? Well, thank you." I waited, but she didn't offer anything more, mask perfectly in place. Still, she had reached out, made contact: she wanted to communicate. This made me determined to find a way she could, without being terrified, without bursting into tears.
"I'd say I like yours too, but that wouldn't be the truth. That's what they give all the kids to wear, and I know they're scratchy."
She stared at the floor so long, I wondered if I'd offended her.
"I'm sorry, I can't talk to you," she whispered, tension dragging at her words, "Daddy said I can't."
"Can't talk to strangers?"
She nodded.
"Well, then I should introduce myself. Hi, I'm Charlotte, nice to meet you."
She glanced at me hopefully, then a darkness came over her face and she looked away.
"No name, huh?"
She shook her head.
"I'm sorry," she breathed forlornly.
"That's ok, honey. You let me know if you think of one you can tell me. I'd imagine you must miss your daddy. Any little girl would miss her daddy, don't you think?"
She nodded. I hesitated, then took the plunge.
"I'd like to get you back to him, he must be worried about you."
But she stiffened.
"Ok. I'm not supposed to talk about that, huh? Can I ask you, though, if you want to go back to your Daddy? You don't have to answer."
She was silent so long I thought I'd lost her for this session. But as I got up to go, she spoke, so quietly it was less than a whisper.
"Yes."
The yearning in her voice froze me in my tracks. I leant and squeezed her shoulder gently.
"Thank you for talking to me today, honey, you did really well."
"You're going away now, aren't you," she said in that same sad voice, catching me by surprise.
"Yes, I am."
"Are you coming back?"
"Would you like me to?"
She nodded, but continued to stare at the floor.
"Okay. I'll see you later then."
"Well?"
"She's terrified."
"Kinda had that figured already." The head of child psychiatry gave me a long even look, but I was used to him and went on.
"She's lost contact with her Dad somehow, I don't know if he's dead or-"
"What? How do you figure that? That whole Dad thing?"
"She told me."
"She told you. I am impressed, Miss Charlotte. She actually spoke to you?"
I nodded. He shook his head in amazement.
"Well there you go. That mean you're taking her on?"
"If that's possible, yes, I'd like to."
"Be my guest."
She was on my mind as I prepared my dinner .
Not to talk to strangers… that was a human thing to say. Was it possible the child was a wild born human? It made no sense, that she should be found so far into Soul territory. But it would explain why there was no trace of her, no reports of a missing child… had her father dropped her here to be implanted? Unlikely, but possible. Why else would a father abandon a child? Perhaps her mother had died, and he felt this was the best option for her. Or perhaps the father had not been involved in the decision, and the family had decided. Perhaps her father was looking for her too. In that case, I would need to get her back to the Soul-free Zone.