Flame
***
The house was still, empty, and I walked over the creaking floorboards not bothering to turn on the lights. There was nothing I needed to see here. But a shivering glow spilled out of the bathroom; Bhask had left a candle burning for me, another single flame so I wouldn't feel alone. I gazed at the trembling orange form, letting it draw me back to another time…
The woods were grey and hushed in the pre dawn light, warm even at this hour, and our footsteps echoed loudly in the silence. Alex led me by my hand down the trail, but every time I tried to ask him where he was taking me, he just put his finger to his lips. I walked on behind him in amusement and frustration.
My steps slowed as we approached the turn off for the swimming hole. A little candle burned halfway down the trail, and beyond it, dozens of others surrounded the swimming hole with their warm orange glow. Alex waited at the end of my outstretched fingertips, waiting for me to follow him.
"What is this?" I breathed, not knowing whether to be afraid or enchanted.
"I know you think fire and water don't mix…" he said, his voice incredibly gentle. A skin of mist skimmed over the water's surface. I let him lead me down to the edge. He sat down slowly, watching his submerged feet swinging back and forth, and eventually, I sat beside him, easing my feet in too. I watched the water tensely. He put his arm around me and hugged me close, rubbing my arm.
"You know I'd never let anything happen to you," he breathed into my ear, kissing my cheek. I stiffened, half expecting him to push me in. His arm dropped from around me and he pulled off his t shirt, slipping into the water and pushing out to the middle. I watched him go, longing for him to stay with me, yearning for his touch.
"Come on," he whispered, his eyes fixed on mine. His voice was so sure, and at the same time so gentle. I drew my knees out of the water and pressed my mouth onto them, wanting so badly to be with him, but just incapable of breaking through my fear. He glided back and lifted himself above the surface, one arm on either side of me, resting his forehead on mine and dripping randomly on me. I lifted my face to his and met his kiss, tender and hungry. He was letting me know how badly he wanted me to be with him, and the touch of his lips slowly flooded out the fear strangling my limbs. My legs relaxed back into the water and he followed them, his eyes never leaving mine, his hands shifting to encase my hips. I bent down as he sank, trying to prolong the kiss and delay the inevitable as his lips finally pulled away from mine.
"You coming in? The waters fine," he breathed, drawing out the last syllable alluringly. I smiled softly, trying to find the nerve to join him. He leaned up and touched my lips with his teasingly, but I caught his head and held him to me, pressing my mouth passionately against him. He responded warmly, and I felt my tension melting in his heat. With deliberate slowness, his hands drew me towards the edge, and I let the water climb my legs almost unthinkingly. He paused when I sat right on the lip, and I pushed myself over, slipping down next to him. His arms enfolded me, and he pressed his lips to my neck, my collarbone, my shoulder. My hands cupped his neck tightly, but less with fear than desire. He pushed away from the bank and I wrapped my legs around his hips, barely feeling the water lapping at my neck. The burn of the candles was reflected in a thousand broken images on the surface of the water.
The strident peal of the telephone brought me back to the darkened bathroom. It was Bhask, reminding me to bring Yasha's breakfast to the hospital tomorrow. I packed a bag for her, went to bed, and drowned in loneliness.