Yeah, that's right! I FINALLY updated! Can I get a "hooray"!?

Or some reviews?

I seriously know you people are out there. I'm magical like that.


Strange Enemies, but Stranger Friends

When Allen got back inside, face covered in various scratches, he was not in a good mood. Most people who are repetitively assaulted by an angry squirrel face this side effect. No, Allen Walker was not about to just laugh off the event and forget that there was some kind of furry mammal assassin stalking him from just outside his window. He was going to avoid leaving the building as long as he could. He would just hope that when he got a mission, it would only be reachable by waterway so that they'd have to take the canals.

From that moment forward, Allen decided that he really didn't like squirrels.

--

Indeed, it was unmistakable. This had to be his room. Komui had written it down multiple times, clarifying that this was, in fact, the number of the room, the position of the room, and the floor of the room.

And Kimimaro still couldn't believe it. Making sure nobody was around to watch, he closed the door. He opened it back up again. And then he repeated the process a few more times. The bedroom, not surprisingly, didn't suddenly transform in to some kind of medieval torture-chamber. It remained exactly as if had when he first looked inside.

It was by far one of the most beautiful rooms Kimimaro had ever seen.

Perhaps it was only beautiful because it wasn't dark, damp, filled with bloody wires and syringes, and it was his. He liked the room just as much as he liked his jacket.

The Kaguya went into the room and sat down on the bed. It was soft, unusually enough, and the blankets had no gaping hole ripped into them from a fight over "who gets it". The nostalgia of having to fight off Jonin-class Oto-nins just to get a new set of pillows almost made him laugh. They'd been pretty desperate for supplies after Orochimaru announced their invasion plans.

The room had an undeniable floral smell to it. He didn't know quite how this was, as there weren't any flowers in sight, but it was there. It was almost like lilacs, he believed. When the boy turned his head and looked at the rest of the area, found there was an actual closet, not just a sign that said "Throw Your Clothes on Floor Here", and a window that overlooked the forest below.

He was completely convinced there was absolutely no way the situation could get better.

"OH! Yu-Chan!! It's not that bad!!"

"Baka!! Don't use my first name!!" Kimimaro listened to the door of the neighboring room slam violently shut.

"Oh, come on now!" Lavi was griping horribly at his friend. "You can't be all uppity just because of something that stupid! It's not like it hurt you or something!"

"Go away, Baka Usagi!"

Lavi sighed and his footsteps led away from the door of Yu Kanda. A door directly on his other side was opened and shut.

Suddenly, the position of his room bothered Kimimaro.

He was jammed between Lavi and Kanda, with Allen's room just a few doors down from Lavi's. He could see the war before the first battle was even fought.

As if in accordance to the prediction, a third set of feet stomped down the hall, accompanied by grumbling and mumbling of the disheartened species. It was Allen, no doubt about that.

Lavi's door swung open and knocked into the wall. "Allen!"

"Eh? Oh... Hi Lavi."

"Whoa man... What happened to your face?"

"... You know that whole squirrel thing we talked about earlier?"

"Yeah, why?"

"... I believe you now." He made a beeline for his own room. The Bookman Jr. sighed loudly enough for the Kaguya to hear and then that door closed too.

It was suddenly a disturbing and lonely room. The boy ninja could see a daily problem developing from being in close-contact with the only exorcists he'd really met thus far, and also by far some of the strangest people he'd ever come across.

And yes, this included the Sound Four, and that freaky kid in the green spandex with giant eyebrows.

Either way, Kimimaro thought it necessary to go out and see if there was anywhere, anywhere at all, where he'd be able to hide until the neighbors were out cold. As quietly as he could (which is saying something when you have ninja stealth), Kimimaro tip-toed to his door. All he needed to do was get to the library without being noticed by anybody else in the halls.

Ironically, at the very same time he was about to leave and had opened his door, Kanda appeared from his room. He had the near-exact same plan playing out in his own mind. The rivals were quick to meet glances.

Mission: Failed

"Oh hell no!!" Kanda shouted at the newest exorcist. "There is no fucking way I have to put up with all three of you bakas right next to me!! NOT HAPPENING!"

"Hm, what's going on Y—" Lavi stepped out into the hall as well, and stopped abruptly when he saw the new boy. "Hey! Kimimaro! I didn't know your room was over here!!" He started beaming, showing in the white of his teeth all the ideas he had to annoy the new friend. "That's awesome!"

"No it isn't, Baka!"

"Hm? What's wrong with...? Oh, that's right! Yu-chan is still really embarrassed that you beat him, Kimi-kun! Really hurt his ego! GWAH!" Lavi ducked back into his room just as Mugen flew down where his skull had once been. A muffled shriek echoed behind the door. "AIIII! Yu-Chan! That was my favorite headband!"

"You're lucky it wasn't you head! Come back out here so I can finish killing you!!"

"Not a chance!" The lock clicked into place and Kanda's face was turning red with fury. Or, it could be that Lavi had just embarrassed him about the fact that he was embarrassed.

"Grrrrrr..." A freezing glare managed to work its way right through the wood of the door and weaved its way into the redhead's very soul, trying to rip it apart with nothing but a set of sharp teeth. It was a very mentally painful process, to be sure. "I swear to God, Usagi, you are going to die at MY hands!!"

"But you have to get me fi~rst!" Lavi giggled mockingly from behind his line of defense.

Kanda suddenly appeared quite defeated. "Dammit," he whispered.

"... Why don't you kick the door down?"

"Gwah! Kimi-kun! Don't HELP him kill me!!" Lavi was speaking with a shrill tone from behind the door.

"Can't. Komui rigged them not to break." Kanda even stabbed the entrance to the prey's domain with Mugen to get the point across. The metal object simply bounced off uselessly. "Otherwise, he'd already be dead," Kanda spat. It was as if Kimimaro had asked something very stupid. Kimimaro, now thoroughly convinced he'd done just that, frowned at his self. The Black Order's members had become increasingly difficult to understand, as had the world they lived in.

Kanda leaned against the wall, contemplating revenge. How would he manage to kill Lavi, or at the very least give him a black eye, if he was sealed away in such a place? Then again, why did he need to kill Lavi to begin with? The only reason he was mad was because Kimimaro still hadn't accepted his challenge! Come to think of it, it was a good time to press again...

What Kanda didn't notice was that as he was thinking about bringing up the subject of a good fight, was that he'd been glaring at Kimimaro. The ninja could feel its hatred, intentional or not, drilling into his face. It was quite uncomfortable. What had he done wrong to deserve such a look after Kanda had been so close-to civil around him? Was the question really that stupid? The white-haired boy's frown grew deeper. This was not a favorable position to be in.

"Fight me."

"... Now?" Kimimaro raised his brow, a bit surprised by the sudden impulsive request. Well, it was more of an order than it was a request, but either way, it was pretty spontaneous.

"Yes, now. The hell would I have asked if I didn't want to fight you right now?!"

"..." He couldn't think of an answer for that one.

"Well?"

"Fine."

Kanda smirked. But what was Inner-Kanda saying? Simple Inner-Kanda was screaming at the top of his imaginary lungs "Seriously?! YEEEESSS~!!!!!! You are SO pwnd now!" Or something along those basic lines.

So... Good? Bad? Liking or not liking the crack? Either way, I'm off to overload my system with VOCALOID music!

Oh, and you see that button down there? Yeah, how about pressing it and REVIEWING? Please?

And, and to whoever it was that put "Write On" in their review for this story, but it was anonymous, I'll tell you now that you've made me quite paranoid. It was our camp motto. It freaks me out and makes me believe somebody is watching me write. Why? IDK.

REVIEW??