Wow, do I update this story quick under Focus-Mode or what? xD

I don't own anybody in this story but the Squirrel. And, if you want to borrow the evil squirrel of doom, help yourself. But please tell me, because something about randomized murderous squirrel attacks makes me happy. ^_^

Warriors' Clash

Komui looked up from his brand-spanking-new Kumorin blueprints. "Kumorin Extreme" was sure to keep the men far away from his precious baby sister, no matter what. And that included the new guy. Komui didn't care how fast or strong the guy was; there was no damn way he was getting his hands on Lenalee!

When he drew his eyes from their previous focus, he came upon a little bushy-tailed creature. It had somehow gotten inside and was intently sitting on Komui's over-crowded desk and chewing some old papers into nest-making material. The Head Officer, interest peaked, set down his pencil and leaned over to get a better look at the thing. The thing stared at him with a pair of beady black eyes. The Chinese man could see his reflection in the little squirrel's eye.

"Why, hello there little guy!" Komui lowered his head to get a better look at the petite visitor. "Now, how in the world did you manage to get in here?"

It began chattering, teeth bashing teeth over again. Komui didn't quite comprehend the purpose of the quick clicking. "Maw, aren't you just adorable? I'll call you... Komukins Junior! What do you think of that?"

Apparently, Komukins wasn't very hot on the idea. It leapt into the man's face and bit down unnecessarily hard on his nose. Komui screamed in pain, and the squirrel kicked off his glasses and sent them crashing to the floor. Miraculously, they didn't break on impact. Komui, now bleeding, whipped around rapidly and Komukins went spinning through the air, taking a good bit of Komui's skin with him.

"Wha-What was that?!" The Head Officer sighed with relief when he realized the animal had run off. "Phew... Now where are my glasses?"

Crunch.

Komui sighed. "Drat."

--

Kanda weighed the wooden practice-swords with his hands, trying to figure which one was the best match against his opponent. Kimimaro, not having ever practiced with a sword that wasn't made from his own bones, hadn't the slightest idea what weight had to do with anything. He just picked the one that looked sturdiest, figuring that the poor stick would get quite the beating.

But, Kanda wasn't going to take any chances. Only the most worthy blade could follow his movements exactly the way he wanted it to and that was true even in practice. He selected the one in his right hand, whose length and weight was the closest to that of Mugen.

"Alright, let's get this over with."

"Right." Kimimaro faced Kanda, ready to begin their little battle with a courteous bow and allow Hell to break loose. Neither one, however, actually managed to get into their positions before they heard some high-pitched whistling from the doorway. Just outside of the training room, a crowd had gathered. Both boys frowned at the sight of various Finders and Scientists waving and cheering for their sides. Somebody in the back was even taking bets. "I think we need to take care of them first," Kimimaro suggested, almost more to himself than to Kanda.

"Che," the elder exorcist breathed and walked over to the door. Almost everybody backed up against the adjacent wall. And away from the sour samurai. Kanda slammed the door shut and locked it. "There." A few of the would-be onlookers' lucid groans managed to make their ways to the warriors' ears.

And then the two approached and bowed.

And then all Hell broke loose.

Kanda was the first to move. Kimimaro had to admit that even though the older boy didn't have the foot speed of a ninja, he was pretty close. And he was probably a lot better with his hands than he was with his feet, considering that he was a samurai.

Kimimaro narrowly managed to parry to the left before Kanda struck him. The ninja took the opportunity to thrust. This didn't turn out as well as he'd envisioned it to. Instead, Kanda dusked below the attack and spun around. The replacement-Mugen jabbed upwards and Kimimaro nearly bent back into a right angle to avoid simulated death. When free of the sword's range, he jumped back and created a little more distance. Kanda remained still and in his place, patiently examining every point of his opponent's stance.

"Your techniques are sloppy," he jeered. "That's disappointing."

"I said I was good enough for my purposes, not that I was proficient," Kimimaro pointed out. The only time he'd needed to use a sword in battle was when he faced multiple opponents, and he normally overwhelmed them so that proper skill wasn't essential.

"Either way, you're going to lose." Kanda gazed at the boy. He was fast, but he wasn't fast enough to go against a skilled swordsman.

Kimimaro just smiled. It seemed that his rival was more exciting than he'd originally assumed.

--

Reever walked into the office and abruptly stopped, staring wide-eyed at the blood dribbling down his superior's face. "Head Officer Komui! Are you alright?!"

Komui used his free hand to wave Reever into a calmer mood. His other sleeve was preoccupied with soaking the blood from his wound. "Yes, I'm fine." Either way, Reever was grabbing the first-aid box from around the corner and coming to the rescue with various Band-Aids and disinfectants.

"What happened?!"

"I'm not really entirely sure. One moment I was working on my Kumorin project, and the next I was being attacked by a squirrel."

"... What?"

"I was attacked by a squirrel," Komui nodded.

"You... were attacked by... a squirrel?"

"See? It even sounds insane when you say it."

--

Kimimaro wiped the blood off of his bottom lip. Things were not going well for him. Kanda was pleased as hell, smile or not, but the ninja was in a bit of trouble. It wasn't worth using his Kekkei Genkai to get out of trouble. And so, without the assistance of his bloodline limit, the Kaguya was screwed.

Kanda had yet to finish him off, at least. But he'd mostly just made it his own joke by whacking the younger in the head with the handle of the wooden weapon. Kimimaro didn't stand a chance.

If he actually wanted to avoid a night of repentant beatings, there was really only one way out. "Alright... I'm clearly no match for you like this," Kimimaro spoke softly, probably getting tired. "You win." He straightened out, obviously in no temper to continue. Kanda just walked over to the beaten adversary.

"That was substandard at best," he scowled. "I thought you were supposed to be a great warrior, not an amateur."

The boy's green eyes conveyed a hint of agitation, though his face was showing slight satisfaction. "I'm no amateur. I'm just not a swordsman."

"Che. And what does that make you? My guess is that you couldn't fight your way out of a box; only run away from it."

He just had to open his mouth. He his had to.

And now, Kimimaro was fully intent on letting Kanda pay the price for his comments.

The boy threw the wooden toy into the wall and cracked his knuckles before the impact even met his ears. "I recommend you get your real sword," the ninja hissed. "Because I'm finished playing this game with you."

At first, Kanda was just going to roll his eyes and wipe his hands of the dilemma. However, when he noticed the boy's arm was rapidly shifting shape, like little creatures were running around under his skin, he found he was stopped in shock. What was going on?

Sharp, white spears protruded from the boy's arm and fitted into the palm of his hand. Kanda's mind rushed to figure out just what they were. Some kind of Innocence? Or, was the guy an Akuma? But, could it be that he had just pulled out...

...His own bones?!

Kimimaro drove his weapon out at the older exorcist's head with incredulous speed. Kanda could dodge the assault only because he was backing out of range quick enough. He scrambled to the corner, throwing away the practice weapon and picking up Mugen, unsheathed at the beat of a heart.

"What the hell are you?!"

"This," Kimimaro demonstrated, absorbing the dagger back into his skin. "This is my Kekkei Genkai. I can control my own skeletal structure at will, and even take out bones to use as weapons." He reached over and removed his jacket. The leather object got tossed over by the practice sword where it was unlikely to be damaged. From the bare spot on his shoulder, he shifted his bones again. Kanda watched with amazement and disgust as Kimimaro pulled a sword out of his own arm. Kimimaro grinned at his rival's horrified face. Or, as close to horrified as he suspected Kanda would ever get. "Surprised?"

"You are a freak of nature!"

"Hn... That's one of the more decent things I've been called."

Gah, now look at what you've done, Kanda! This can't possibly end well, now can it? Hm, maybe it can? I don't know. I write the stuff I don't participate in ninja vs samurai battles.

And, to those of you who are interested in my random comments that I put down here that probably never get read at all, you need to hear the song Dancing Samurai by Gakupo Kamui (VOCALOID) and look at the english lyrics for it, and tell me it doesn't sound exactly like what Kanda must be thinking all the time. Do it. go. Listen to this random music I have assigned you, for it is your misison!

As it reviewing!!!