Frozen in Ink
Chapter 7- Coming to Terms
"I'm coming to terms. I'm starting to learn this ain't all it's cracked up to be.
Cause I'm using you. You're using me. It's never as easy as we believed."
-Carolina Liar (Coming to Terms)
His eyes open to the sound of cabinets slamming. Lucas alarmingly hopped out of bed and into the kitchen to find his wife slamming things around and placing them in boxes. "Lindsey?" Lucas asks groggily he's still half asleep and not quite sure what's going on. "Oh, Luke. I'm sorry I woke you. I knew…Damn…" Lindsey trailed off and stared absently into the kitchen sink. "What are you doing, Linds?" Luke asked his wife of a month. Lindsey gazed out the window over the sink taking in the words that were about to graze over her lips. Lindsey turned back to look him directly in the eye and sighed. "Leaving Luke. I'm leaving you."
Peyton woke up staring at Brooke. "Morning baby girl." Brooke said grinning. Brooke's big brown eyes were looking directly into Peyton's green ones. Today they were purely olive and no matter how much pain was on Peyton's face, her eyes were calming and beautiful. "Morning B." Peyton said sighing. "You okay?" Brooke asked concerned. Brooke had every right to be, Peyton came home last night sobbing and hadn't stopped until she'd fallen asleep. Brooke learned very early on into her and Peyton's friendship that she had to help her pick up the pieces, because she knew Peyton would always do the same for her. Peyton closed her eyes to try to keep for crying again. "I'm going to tell him today." Peyton exhaled deeply. "Oh honey! Are you sure you just don't want to wait?" Brooke asked her. "I know I should wait till eleven weeks you know. But it's our baby. He should know." Peyton said firmly nodding her head to show her seriousness. "Then I support you P. Sawyer." Brooke said taking her hand. The blonde took it and squeezed it hard. "You know I love you right?" Peyton said on the verge of tears. "I love you too, P. Sawyer. And nothing will ever change that." Brooke said flashing Peyton a reassuring smile.
"I'm leaving you." Lucas looked up at his wife in disbelief. "I know what I told you last night, Lucas but really…god really…this is for the best." Lindsey went over to the table to find her purse and dug inside searching its contents. "Here." She said handing him a manila envelope. Lindsey nodded and he opened it. DECREE OF ANULLMENT was scrolled across the top. "Lindsey..." Lucas started to say. "I love you too Luke. I know you love me but you're not in love with me. It's okay. I understand. Just sign the papers. I have a flight back home tonight." To him it was funny that she used the word home to describe New York. But he knew she never thought of Tree Hill as home, she never would. "What can make you stay? Why can't we work this out like we agreed last night? I forgave you, Linds. You forgave me. Don't leave. I am in love with you." Lindsey shook her head and tears begin to well up in your eyes. "Just sign the papers Luke. Go back to Peyton. Let's both promise to be happy, we both know that I can't make you as happy as Peyton can and you know you can't make me as happy as you should, which is why in a moment of weakness I slept with your brother." Lucas shook his head, he really wanted to kick Nathan's ass. "I know The Comet is about Peyton. I knew it when I read it. I also know that you once wrote, 'I will always be in love with Peyton Sawyer.' I'm no idiot Luke, I just took too long to realize that it waswrong of me to marry someone when their heart was conflicted." Lindsey fumbled with her left hand and took off the rings that Lucas had given to her. "I won't take them." Lucas said arms folded over his chest. "Please." Lindsey pleaded. It was too early for this, Lucas hadn't even got his morning cups of coffee in. He couldn't take this. "Please, Luke. This really is for the best. I promise." Lindsey said as sobs escaped her throat. Lucas held the palm of his hand out flat and Lindsey graciously placed the engagement ring he'd bought for Peyton years before and the white gold band that had been on her finger for the last month. "I'm really, sorry Lindsey." Luke said beginning to cry himself. Lindsey pulled him in for a hug and began to sob into his shoulder. "I know Luke. I know." She whispered into his ear. "I'm sorry too."
Nathan had spent his night crashing on Mouth and Millie's couch for fear that he'd have to deal with a confrontation with Lucas. He really couldn't handle that. Nathan sighed and massaged a sore spot of muscle on his neck from where he slept on it wrong. He then felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket. PEYTON SAWYER flashed across the display screen. He hadn't talked to Peyton since Lucas's wedding and had really been avoiding each other since. Nathan sighed and hesitated answering but then decided to, Sawyer had to be calling for a reason. So, on the third ring, right before it went to voice mail, he sighed and said, "Hello?" Nathan heard Peyton let out a gush of air on the other line. "Hi, Nate." She breathed. "Hi, Peyton." He said nonchalantly. Peyton sat on the other side of the phone clutching Brooke's hand and biting her lip down hard. This wasn't easy. "Um, Nathan do you think…well um do you think we could meet somewhere? I uh… I need to talk to you about something..." Nathan exhaled into the phone. Peyton knew what he was thinking. He thought this was a booty call. "Yeah, Sawyer. Well what's good for you? I've got to pick Jamie up at 3." Nathan glanced up at the clock on the wall of the apartment. It was 11 o'clock then. "It doesn't matter. How 'bout half hour? The river court, maybe?" "Okay. See you then Peyton." Nathan said and hung up. Peyton pressed the end button on her cell phone and began to sob, Peyton collapsed into Brooke shoulder. "Shh." Brooke said pushing Peyton's hair out of her face, Brooke wiped Peyton's tears away and sighed.
Haley James-Scott soon to be just James sat at her dining room table staring at the blank word document on her laptop's screen. The blinking cursor mocked her as she tried to get the words that she needed to write for a lesson plan and also directions for next week's English project. It wasn't like writing a novel, but it was still very frustrating. Her mind was on other matters, and that had probably affected her job performance about a million percent. Haley picked up her cell phone, and it showed the time of 12 o'clock in the afternoon. She noticed that she hadn't been in contact with any of her friends lately, including Lucas. The time was right after Luke's wedding when the commutation with Peyton and Brooke stopped completely. She had Jamie, which really in life was all she needed. But of course she missed her best friends, Lucas, Peyton, Brooke, hell she'd even settle for Nanny Carrie. Haley laughed, at her own joke and looked up to find the blonde little boy, who was her son. "Hi, honey." Haley cooed. "Mama, I'm kinda getting hungry. Can we have lunch?" Haley remembered that it was past noon, and Jamie always turned into a little monster if he was hungry or sleepy. "Course we can bud. How would you like it if Mama made us a pizza?" Jamie smiled a big white smile, his big blue eyes shined. "For lunch Mama? I thought that the freezer pizza was only for dinner?" Haley chucked and ruffled Jamie's hair. "It's Saturday baby boy and I know that sausage is your favorite, we can break the pizza for dinner rule, just this once." Jamie's mouth turned into an o, his mom never, ever, liked when rules were broken. Haley brushed her hair out of her eyes, and leaned on the island, pretending to be anxiously waiting for her son's response. "Okay, Mama." Jamie said nodding his head, really fast. Haley smiled, and walked over to the oven to pre-heat it. Suddenly she forgot about the work she was suppose to be doing or that she hadn't talked to her friends in about a month.
Lucas watched Lindsey place the last of her boxes in the trunk of her white Ford Taurus. He silently sat on the porch swing, sipping coffee like it was a normal Saturday afternoon, only Lindsey wasn't sitting next to him, reading the leisure section of The New York Times. They talked a little about what would happen from here, would then still be able to work together, or would Lucas have to find a new publisher. Lindsey told him she believed in his work, and hoped they could keep a professional relationship. That was Lindsey. She was always going to be good and kind to him, especially if it involved his writing. Lucas really thought that Lindsey had fallen in love with the words, the blonde had crafted, not exactly him, he was flawed, he couldn't give Lindsey what she needed, what she deserved, a happy life. "I better be going," She sighed walking up to where he sat. "My flight leaves in about four hours and there's a few things, I've got to do." Lucas nodded and looked her into her crystal blue eyes, he cared about her but yet when he looked there, his soul didn't catch on fire, his heart didn't flop, his thoughts didn't race, his skin didn't tingle. She was right, they weren't right for each other. Lucas admitted to himself for the first time since Peyton had gotten back to town. Lindsey and Lucas weren't true love. They both had to face that fact and now was the time to do so. "I just wanted to say…" Lucas began but the words wouldn't come out. "Lucas, everyone messes up, and I want you to know that it's all okay." Lucas looked up and her and back down to his feet. "Be happy, Linds. I want that for you." Lindsey smiled and kissed Lucas's cheek. "I want the same for you, Luke. So please do me a favor. Go back to her." And with that Lindsey Strauss Scott turned on her heels and walked out of Lucas Scott's life.
She didn't care what she looked like when she met him. Peyton told Brooke that right now she could care less about the clothing on her body or the way her hair fell in her face. She was sitting inside of her car, waiting for Nathan to walk up to the court. Her head was racing, she looked a mess, and quite frankly she was really pissed off. This asshole got her pregnant, sure they both had some responsibility there, but she already knew Nathan well enough to know that he wasn't going to take this well. Brooke, being the great best friend that she is offered to come with Peyton for moral support, but Peyton told her this was something she had to do on her own. The tall dark haired high-school boyfriend of hers walked onto the basketball court with jeans and a ravens t-shirt rubbing his arms together as if he caught a chill. Peyton opened the door and as she got out she made sure she slammed it to get his attention. Nathan Scott turned around at the sound of a slammed door and saw Peyton. He didn't know what to think, he was really starting to second guess whether or not this was a booty call. "Hey." He said waving at her. Peyton didn't smile, she just kept a blank look on her face. "So, what's up?" Nathan asked as she reached him. What was up? Well um a lot actually. "A few things, Nate." She said shifting her feet. "Um. Okay?" "Do you remember the night after Lucas's wedding? We had sex." Peyton bluntly said. "Yeah, it's a little fuzzy but I remember." Nathan said nodding. "Did you use protection?" She asked him. She already knew his answer, of course not, that's why she was here in the first place. "If your thinking because of my issue you got AIDS or something let me just tell you that I'm clean and…" "I'm pregnant Nathan." She said interrupting his thought. "Oh." Nathan said. "Is it Lucas's?" He asked running his hands through his dark hair. Peyton slapped him in the chest. "No dumb ass! It's yours! YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!" She yelled. "Stop lying." He said shaking his head. "I'm not. If you want I can take you back to the house and show you three home pregnancy tests, they're all positive. Or I can pull out my blood work that I got done yesterday, where it clearly says I'm pregnant, and I'm about four weeks along. Do the math!" "Shit!" he yelled. "Yeah asshole, shit is right."
Lucas retreats inside of his house after Lindsey drove off. He walked in to find the place empty and cold, Lindsey in a strange way had someone how brought a light to this place, he noticed now he was alone, he was going to be alone for awhile. Peyton wouldn't come back to him, in fact every woman he had ever been with he'd ruined it with them. He was truly alone in his childhood home. He sighed and walked back into the bedroom with his cup of coffee in his hand and sat down on in the office swivel chair. He opened up his laptop to find that an envelope had been placed down on the keys. LUCAS, was scrolled across the top in a neat girly print, it was Lindsey's handwriting. Curious, Lucas broke the seal of the envelope and unfolded the piece of paper out of the envelope.
It was a letter.
Dear Lucas,
I know that if you're reading this right now, I've left you, either that or we are happily married and you for whatever reason were going through my personal items. But married people aren't really supposed to private things, are they? I'd say that most likely we've called it quits, and if you're wondering when I wrote this, well it was the first night of our honeymoon. We had just had the most amazing sex and you fell asleep. There you sit, peaceful, and then you mumble her name under your breath. The first night of our honeymoon, you dreamed of Peyton. If only it would have rained on our wedding day, then maybe we would have had this major epiphany and realized that we're not supposed to be together. You are a great man, Lucas Scott, destined for greatness. Your writing Lucas is spectacular and if your muse is Peyton, than make that happen Lucas. You were so good to me please don't blame yourself for the dissolving of our marriage. I made mistakes too. I am also partly at fault here, if anyone knows how much you love Peyton beside you and her, its me. I've read the raw words, the way your head told you to write them. I know how you feel about Peyton Sawyer. I wanted what you had. I guess everyone does. When I found out you and the Peyton from the book didn't work things out, I felt so bad for you. I could only imagine how bad your heart ached. I jumped on the chance to be with someone like you, you have such a big heart and you were ready to jump and I was ready to fall in love with you. But now we know that it's not right, I even knew it then. When your hearts conflicted, you don't marry someone else, Luke. So save another girl some heart ache and go be with her. I really like her, no matter how much we fought over you like little girls. [not that you need my approval or anything ]Since my father died, I haven't really made the best choices, except deciding to edit your book, and meeting you. Have a good life Luke. Be happy, I want that. I hope we can still work together, and I just wanted you to know that I'll always care about you, figure out where you heart stands, Lucas. Contact me when the next novel is written. Also when the papers are done being filed, I'll file name changing documents. I'm not a Scott. I know that the next time I see you, we will be truly and utterly happy.
Always,
Lindsey Strauss
Lucas blue eyes scanned over the letter one more time. She was right about everything, she was just another Brooke. Someone he really cared for but could never be Peyton. He hoped that one day, they could be friends. Lucas looked down at his left hand and slipped the silver band off his finger and placed it on his desk. He dug in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He dialed a number he hadn't dialed in over a mouth and sighed as the phone began to ring.
Nathan turned away from Peyton and started to walk away. "Don't walk away from me!" She yelled at him. "This is so freaking unbelievable, Peyton! You cannot be pregnant with my baby! This is insane." He turned around to look at her, his eyes were icy. In that moment he reminded her so much of Dan. "I am Nathan. What am I suppose to do? What are we suppose to do?" Peyton asked hugging her middle. "You can get rid of it. Neither of us wants this baby." Peyton felt tears come to her eyes. He was asking her to get rid of something she already knew depended on her. She had never felt that before. "How could you ask me to that, Nathan? What have you turned into?" Peyton asked tears cascading out of her olive eyes. Nathan shook his head and looked at Peyton disgusted, like she was the one with the sex addiction, like she had something to really be ashamed of. "I have to get my son, Peyton." Nathan said turning away from Peyton and he walked away. Peyton collapsed on to the court in a fit of tears and felt headlights surge over her skin.
"Hello?" "Hey is this an okay time to talk?" Haley shifted the phone on her ear and smiled, it was nice to hear the voice on the other line. "It's a great time, what's up?" "Lindsey left me." Lucas said breathing it out. "Oh my god! Luke! Are you okay?" Haley asked, shooing her son out of the kitchen. "I don't know Haley. I mean god…" Lucas was interrupted by the sound of a door being opened on the other side of the line. "Hey, Lucas. Nathan's here to pick up Jamie. Hold on for a second, please. I'm sorry." Haley said and placed the phone on her corner table. "Jamie! Your daddy's here! C'mon!" "Yeah, Jim-Jam you don't wanna be late." When Lucas heard Nathan's voice on the other line he just wanted to punch him, right then and there. Lucas heard a few word the two exchanged and Haley saying good bye to her son. The door was shut, and Haley's voice echoed back onto the phone. "I'm really sorry about that Luke. He couldn't have come at a worse time." "Its okay, Hales. Not your fault." He heard Haley sign. "How bout you come over? I could really use the company, plus I miss you." "I miss you too!" Lucas said, hearing the urging in his best friend's voice. He realized that he really hadn't been there for her and she really needed him. "Ten minutes?" She asks. "Perfect." He says smiling and that's been his first real smile since Peyton told him she still loved him.
Peyton looked up to see the car parking in the parking lot and saw a car with the bright headlights in the middle of the day, was parking. Peyton dried her eyes and stood up rubbing her hands on the pant of her jeans. She turned around to see Lindsey coming toward her; she really didn't know what to do. This had to be one of the worst days in Peyton's life. When Lindsey finally stood three feet in front of her, Peyton had no idea what to do, if she should move, if she should go, if she should say anything. "Peyton," Lindsey whispered as if she'd just heard a dirty little secret about her. Peyton nodded. "I've been driving all around town looking for you for the past, few hours." "And clearing my head," Peyton looked at her dumbfounded, why was Lucas's wife standing out here, why was she looking for her? "I…I um going back to New York today." Lindsey studded. Peyton rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself protectively. "I'm not going to sleep with Lucas while you're gone. Have a nice trip, Lindsey." Peyton breathed out slightly annoyed. Peyton turned around to leave. "I left Lucas this morning, Peyton. Our marriage is going to be annulled." Peyton turned back around her eyes were wide with shook. "You can't do that?!" Peyton said practically yelling at Lindsey. "He loves you." Lindsey shook her head. "No he loves you." Lindsey walked back toward her car and looked back to see the shocked blonde. "Make sure you tell him that you love him back. He needs you. Bye Peyton." Lindsey waved and got into her car and drove away. Peyton's jaw dropped and she stood on the river court with her mouth hanging open for a good twenty minutes.
Brooke looked over to Peyton who sat beside her on the couch. "You and Lucas have horrible timing." Peyton nodded absently. She had just finished telling her the story about her day at the river court. "Yeah. I'm going to go upstairs, okay?" Brooke nodded. "Call if you need anything." Brooke called out as Peyton climbed the staircase. Peyton reached her bedroom and plopped onto her bed and hugged her tummy. Peyton sat up and propped a magazine on her knees. She reached into her nightstand drawer and pulled out a pen and some lined paper. She sighed and began to write. If Lucas could write a novel, then she could write a letter. Thirty minutes later Peyton set her pen down and her olive green eyes grazed over the words she'd written. She sighed and pulled out her cell phone scrolling through the contacts. She found the number she was looking for and pressed the send button. She hadn't called this number in so long. She honestly wondered why it was still in her phone. This was the person that saved her when she was plunged into such a deep depression she couldn't see her way out of the dark. This person loved her with life itself and she loved him right back. This was the man whose kiss was so different, that the first time it happened her head almost fell off of her body. "Hello?" He was asleep and she wanted to laugh at how cute he sounded when he was awakened. "Hey." She breathed. "Peyton?" he asked surprised that she called. "Yeah, you were asleep, I'm sorry." She heard him sit up and settle under the covers of his bed. "It's okay. Is everything okay?" Peyton heard concern rise in his voice. "No Julian, it's not."
TBC
A/N: How many of you thought that Peyton was calling Lucas? Tricked you! Didn't have much of Brooke in this chapter. That wasn't done on purpose but this chapter was mostly about Lucas/Lindsey's break up and Peyton telling Nathan about the baby. This is my longest chapter ever! I really hope you guys, dig longer chapters, because I do. I'm sure a lot of you were wondering what was going on in Haley's head and I released I'd been neglecting her, and I felt so bad! So ta-dah! Haley's thoughts! Didn't get too many reviews last chapter, after this updates may not be as frequent. Write now I'm writing chapter 10 and I've caught a little bit of a block. [Hopefully I'll come out of it soon] Thanks Guys! Comments are always nice. [BTW: This is my favorite chapter that I've written so far] -Kelsey