"Were losing her again! Quick I need more gauze!" Harsh light cut through my vision, and unrecognizable forms scurried around her.
"More morphine!" For a moment a cooling sensation coursed through my veins, before the fire took over again. I cried out, begging for death, as the pain was too much to bear. And just when it seemed to be at its most unbearable it stopped, darkness overwhelmed me.
A soft light warmed my eyelids, pulling me back into consciousness. Prying them open, a small room with light yellow walls greeted me. A pile of bloodied strips and instruments lay to my right on a metallic table.
The sound of soft footsteps caught my attention and I turned towards the door which was now propped open revealing a young blonde with her hair pulled back into a pony tail, bangs falling across her forehead and bright blue eyes staring at me in surprise.
"Your awake?" her tone was full of surprise, but relieved at the same time. She quickly made her way to the bedside, helping me sit up.
"I'm sorry but who are you? And where am I? Is Liam here? Is he alright!" Panic overtook me as I remembered my predicament.
"Rebecca, it's me, Winry."
"My name is Hayden, not Rebecca. Are you sure you're in the right room?"
"Granny!- she called, her tone rising.- No your name is Rebecca. I'm Winry, we grew up together, you used to baby sit me remember?" I quickly grew annoyed at the accusation, shaking my head profusely.
"No, my name is Hayden! I know my own name! I have never met you, or anyone named Winry for that matter, I'm afraid your confused." With that another woman entered the room. This one was short and held age on her face.
"What is it Winry is everything alright? Oh Rebecca you're up!"
"Not you too! My name is Hayden not Rebecca!" Worry crossed the older womans features and she cautiously approached my bedside, gently placing a hand across my forehead.
"No fever- she muttered, before grabbing a small light off the bedside table and flashing it into my eyes -No dilation" I sighed and made to push the woman's hands from me and demand an explanation, but was surprised when her hand never moved. Looking down to my right a scream tore from my lips. Where mmy arm once sat was now nothing more than a stump with stained bandages tightly wound around it.
The two women quickly jumped into action, carefully pinning me down as I struggled beneath them, continuously screaming. They didn't release their hold on me, until my struggles clamed. Cautiously, they released their grips and I continued to stare through wide eyes at my missing limb. Tears poured from my eyes, and my left arm moved to feel around the bandages for my missing limb.
"That's called Phantom Limb Syndrome." I paused and turned to face the older woman. "It's normal for amputee victims to still 'feel' the lost limb".
"This isn't right!" I barked, slamming my remaining fist onto the bed. "My name is Hayden, I had a chest wound, not a missing arm. I have never met anyone named Winry!" I was becoming frantic, was I going crazy? Was this a dream? Where was Liam? "Where is my brother?"
"You're confused, It happens sometimes with trauma like this. But you are Rebecca Whitman. You live down the street from me; you got into a terrible accident with the wheat grinder the other day when you went to bring your father his lunch. You don't have a brother" Winry answered slowly, letting the information sink in.
"Your lying! Where is Liam!" I screamed at her, head beginning to become fuzzy.
"Becca!" All heads turned to the door to see an older man standing there. Brown tufts of hair fell into his eyes, his mouth set in a smile. Tears threated to fall as he stood in the doorway wringing his hat in his hands, knuckles bleach white. "My baby girl, you're ok!" he took quick steps forward and enveloped me into a hug. My mind felt like it was racing, this man, he looked so much like my late father. Nostalgia took over and I grit my teeth, leaning into the familiar hold. He smelt different than I remembered, but at this moment I didn't care. For a moment I was home.
As he pulled back, reality hit me full force. This wasn't right, my father had died years ago. I opened my mouth to inform him of this, but the sight of his eyes stopped me dead in my tracks. So much pain, and torture was held in those familiar eyes, and I couldn't bear to hurt him any further. I closed my mouth.
"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. If I had just remembered my lunch then you would never have gone out to the field in the first place. This is all my fault." The tears spilled over then, as the man wept at my bedside. I sighed, making up my mind. I couldn't hurt this man, not when he looked so much like my own father.
"It's ok daddy I'm fine." The two women in the room let out a breath they had been holding the entire reunion, Afraid that I would lash out at the newcomer.
"I'm sorry to break you apart Mr. Whitman but Rebecca needs her rest." The older woman said, he nodded, relief on his broken face.
"Of course Pinako. Thank you for saving my girl thank you!" the two older people walked out of the room chatting about a recovery process and as they were out of ear shot Winry turned back to me.
"You remember now Becca?" She asked, but frowned when I shook my head, crossing my remaining arm across my chest.
"No, I am Hayden."
"But you just-
"I couldn't tell him. He looked so…sad." I muttered, looking down at the sheets. I remembered father with the same look on his face after mom passed.
"Alright so…Hayden." Winry spoke slowly, catching my attention once more. "You must be hungry. I'll be right back with something for you to ear." I nodded and Winry quickly disappearing from the room, leaving me alone to my thoughts.
I sighed, falling back into the pillow behind me. I stared up at the ceiling before allowing my head to loll to the side. What looked like a bathroom caught my eye, and was made aware that I had to pee.
I moved to pull back the blankets, but huffed in annoyance when I realized that I had to use my other hand. Once that was taken care of I swung my legs to the edge of the bed. Tenderly I placed one foot, than the other on the floor, slowly making my way to standing, steadying myself with my good hand. I only made it a small step before falling back onto the bed. My whole equilibrium was off now that my dominant arm was missing.
Not to be discouraged I made my way to standing once more, this time leaning against the wall as I walked. Reaching the bathroom after what seemed like an eternity I pushed off the wall, and pulled open the door.
A scream tore through the house and the bowl of soup Winry previously had been filling crashed to the floor spilling its contents as she dashed up the stairs towards the cries. Bursting in the room she found Hayden crumpled on the floor in front of the open bathroom door pulling at her hair and clawing at her face.
Rushing towards the screaming girl she yanked her hand away from her face, which had angry red lines from her nails.
"What's wrong?" she asked the girl who stared at her with wide eyes.
"What did you do to me! My face, my hair! It's wrong! What did you do!" Hayden shrieked, dumbfounding Winry. Maybe she had lost too much blood in surgery, and had brain damage, because this was crazy.
"What are you talking about? There is nothing wrong with your face or your hair" she comforted trying to understand the girl's thoughts.
"No! My hair is long, and my bangs are different, and my face is rounder and my eyes are bronze not green! And, and, and I have a birthmark under my right eye where did it go!" she watched the girls eyes dart back and forth as she tried to take in what was happening. Winry gently rubbed her back as she sobbed on the floor, muttering about her face.
Once she had calmed down some, Winry helped her finish her business before returning her to bed. Hayden's eyes had gone dull, and she stared, unblinkingly forward. She didn't understand what was happening, none of this was right? If it was a dream then why couldn't she wake up?
Once she was sure she was stable Winry left the girl to her thoughts, to return to the mess in the kitchen. Bending down to clean the mess of cold broth and vegetables on the floor Winry thought hard about the girl who rested upstairs. None of this made sense and she had a feeling that it wouldn't make sense any time soon.