Frozen in Ink
Chapter 10: A Moment of Change
"We won't break, we won't die, it's just a moment of change..."
-One Republic [All We Are]
Brooke sat with her elbows on the island, waiting for Peyton to come down the stairs. She knew that she was pissed, which wasn't going to help anything. Peyton came running down toward her, rubbing her eyes.
"P?"Brooke started.
"I'm fine,"Peyton responded opening up the fridge and grabbing a water bottle.
"Just these damn hormones. So where are we ordering from tonight?" Peyton asked leaning up against the counter next to her.
"Since we've tried all of the other exotic food places with no such luck I figured we just order pizza." Brooke said looking over to Peyton.
"Mama doesn't want pizza." Peyton said shaking her head and then taking a big gulp of her water.
"Well, what does mama want?" Brooke said laughing at her.
"Tacos!"
"I swear to god, if you start…."
Brooke's thought was interrupted by Julian trudging down the stairs and into the kitchen.
"Hey Jue, we were just deciding what to order. What do you feel like?" Peyton asked looking up at him.
"You know what I like. What ever you want, you're the pregnant one."
Brooke glared at him, "Peyton said she wants Mexican. Does that work for you?" She asked highly annoyed.
Julian nodded, "That works."
"Since we have to try to find food that won't make Peyton sick basically we order off everything off the menu. There are two lists on the fridge." Brooke said pointing her finger over to the appliance.
"One is craving food, the other food that makes her sick, followed by smells of things that make her sick."
Julian looked back at Brooke horrified.
"Told you the vomiting could be arranged," Peyton said laughing.
Julian and Brooke smiled and looked at each other. Their brown eyes locked and Brooke found herself thinking he wasn't such a bad guy, he was here for Peyton, his ex-girlfriend for god sake. He had good intentions, she didn't know that until now, now she was sure. Peyton went into the drawer and grabbed a red sharpie and the menu and began to read it over and circle menu items.
"Here," She said handing it to Brooke. "Order all of this, plus whatever you two want. Desperate Housewives is about to start. Later." She said smiling, handing the menu to Brooke, and walking out toward the TV room to her program.
"She's happy. Being pregnant makes her super happy, like she's heavily medicated Peyton." Julian said walking over to stand beside Brooke so he could see the menu.
"Yeah, but she swings pretty fast, when she falls, she really falls. Once she cried for over two hours." Julian shook his head sadly and picked the sharpie up off the counter and circled a few things on the menu.
"I'm not Lucas and you're not Lucas," he said voice low. "We both can't save her, can we?" Julian slid the menu across the counter toward Brooke.
"No, I'm afraid not." She said picking up her phone and dialing the number to the restaurant.
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Nathan sat on the couch of Mouth and Millie's apartment. He still hadn't had the guts to return to Lucas house, it had been two months, and Lucas and Lindsey's marriage had even been annulled, but truth be told he couldn't face his brother. Nathan was weak. He had a problem, but even that he couldn't admit, even to himself. Nathan had also spent less time with his son lately, he couldn't stand it, because it made him think and regret the choices he had been making. Peyton's words swam into him mind, 'I'm pregnant, Nathan.' Peyton was carrying his child and in this whole time he hadn't even given a damn. He was incredibly selfish and he knew it. He missed everything, the father he once was, the things he once liked, the man that Haley had showed him he could be. Being inside a woman, any woman was his top priority these days. Feeling good about himself, being a fucking dick, was his goal in life. He didn't care who he hurt, and the old Nathan who lived somewhere deep inside of him was really afraid of what that meant.
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Peyton took a bite into the taco sitting in front of her. "I think we've actually found a food that little worm over here and I agree with." She said placing her hand of her stomach.
Peyton, Brooke, and Julian sat Indian style on the floor in the living room, watching TV, and eating dinner.
"Good," Brooke said smiling. "We'll have to put these on the list."
"So, are you excited for tomorrow?" Julian asked her, popping a tortia chip into his mouth.
"I'll finally get to have pictures of my little worm to hang up," She said smiling. "And you know find out if it's a boy or a girl. I still have some mixed feelings but I can't ignore it, I'm starting to show."
"You look great P. Sawyer. You're the hottest pregnant woman I've seen." Peyton clasped her eyes shut, remembering that Brooke had said the same thing to Haley when she was pregnant with Jamie.
"Thanks." Peyton said half heartily. Julian opened his Styrofoam box with fajitas inside and Peyton turned an awful shade of grey. The smell of onions filled the room and Peyton got up and ran to the bathroom.
Brooke got up when she heard Peyton gag and looked over to Julian, "Add onions to list of sick foods please." Brooke stood up and walked toward the bathroom, leaving Julian alone with his 'sick' food.
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The Next Morning
Peyton turned over at the sound of the alarm clock screaming at her to get up, truth be told she'd been up for the last hour or so, thinking. Today was the day, there was no longer denying it any longer, there was another life growing inside of her. She knew it, other people knew it, but today was the day where she had to fully accept it, there was a chance that she and Lucas would never get back together, and there was a chance that this baby, her baby, was going to be her new life, the new love of her life. She already loved it, already knew that this was what pure love was like, the love of the child that needed her, not the love of the man who made this baby with her. She turned the clock off, pulled the covers off of her body, and got out of bed, ready for a new day.
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"Bye, have a good day Marvin." Millie said kissing Mouth's lips and watching him walk out the door. She sighed and leaned back into the kitchen counter drinking her coffee absently. She looked to find Nathan walking toward her. Millie wasn't really sure what had happened and why Nathan was now staying in their apartment, Mouth hadn't known much and didn't really want to pry, if Nathan needed help, he was his friend, he was going to help him.
"Good Morning, Nate." Millie said pushing up her glasses that were falling off.
"Hi, Millie. Do you mind if I get a cup of coffee?" He asked walking toward her hands behind his back.
"Sure, help yourself." Nathan walked behind her and brushed himself up against her.
Millie's eyes went wide with shock; she almost dropped her coffee cup that she was gripping in her hand. He couldn't be doing this; it was just some sort of accident.
"Coffee's hot." Nathan said making googoly eyes at her.
Now she knew Nathan Scott was hitting on her. Just the way his eyes were now settled on her chest, told her everything she needed to know.
"Um yeah, I guess. I've got to be going." She said quickly placing her cup on the counter and moving out of the room.
Nathan stepped in front of her and clutched her shoulders.
"Aww Mills, it's so boring here all alone, play hooky for a day."
"Sorry," She quickly sputtered out, trying to step around him.
Nathan grinned smugly. "You see, I think I make you nervous."
Millie shook her head, "Really I've got to get to work, sorry." Millie stepped around him and finally toward the apartment door.
She opened the door and exited the apartment without even grabbing her purse or her laptop, she just up in left. As she walked down the stairs and toward the exit of the building she sighed, she was completely and utterly freaked out, by what had just happened in her apartment.
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Peyton stood in the shower as the warm water rushed over her body, she tensed as the warm beads melted into her back. She tried to keep her head from wondering too much, but it did, it always did. She moved the washcloth over her arms and scrubbed. She didn't want to hate her life or get all depressed and broody. But she felt so thin, so limited. Her heart wanted so much; she wanted the picture her mind had painted. In this picture her label was a huge success, she sold art, she was in love with Lucas, and they were married with a baby on the way, and she was completely, utterly happy. That was not her current picture and that was so hard for her to get over. Why wasn't she allowed to have everything? Why was life so hard, why was it so unfair? Peyton sighed and worked the wash cloth down her body. Not only do people always leave, but nothing in life is ever fair.
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Brooke sat at the island, legs crossed, finishing her strawberry yogurt. Julian sat beside her assessing the local paper like it was insane joke, like the National Inquire. "Anything wrong?" She asked placing her spoon on the surface of the counter.
"No." He stated, simply going back to the paper.
"You're just looking at it like it's some joke or something." Brooke said pulling her soft lavender rope tighter toward her body.
"Why would you say that?" He asked pushing his reading glasses up the bridge of his nose, still reading.
"Please, you just went through section B and rolled your eyes like the whole time." She said looking at him smugly.
Julian looked up and met Brooke's eyes. "I wasn't. I don't find this periodical a joke, okay? I was just kind of upset about they can call someone marriage annulment, local news." He said doing air quotes on his last two words.
"What?" Brooke said snatching the paper away from him and reading over the bold headline. LUCAS SCOTT'S MARRIAGE OVER. Brooke's eyes grazed over to the bi-line. COULD PEYTON SAWYER HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT?
Brooke scoffed at the bi-line and handed Julian his paper back. "This town is a fucking joke," Brooke said shaking her head.
"Your words not mine." Julian said putting his hands up in the air.
"We cannot let Peyton see this, okay?" Brooke told him firmly.
"Let me see what?" Brooke and Julian turned their heads to see Peyton walk into the room, dressed, and smiling.
Brooke and Julian stayed silent for a moment. "Coffee, P. Sawyer. Pregnant women are not allowed coffee." Brooke said smiling.
"I don't really like coffee." Peyton said searching Brooke and Julian's eyes.
"Still can't tempt you." Julian spat back, he put his head back down and acting like he was again reading.
"Well, anyway. The shower's all yours B. Go ahead." Peyton said shaking her head at her best friend.
Brooke smiled at her and got up from her stool. "Okay, just hoped you saved me some hot water."
Peyton laughed at her. "Of course I did, you're usually the one that usually uses it all dummy."
"Duh!" Brooke says and nervously walks out of the room and up the stairs.
"What the hell was that about?" Peyton said taking a seat next to Julian.
"What do you mean?" Julian asked her avoiding her green eyes.
"Oh My God!" Peyton gasped.
Julian looked at her wild eyed. "What?"
"You guys doing something dirty! Omigod!"
"No, Peyton. We most defiantly were not doing anything dirty."
"Um hum. Sure Jue, whatever you say." She told him shaking her head and rolling her eyes.
"Really, Peyton. We weren't."
"If you say so. Now do you mind giving me a part of your paper?"
Julian sifted through the paper and gave her half, intentionally giving her the half with the classifieds and most defiantly not section B.
"YES! Arts and Leisure." She grins.
Shit, he actually gave her the part he wanted to read, he smiles and goes back to the sports section.
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The car is silent, Brooke's hand firmly on the wheel, Peyton's eyes gazes out the window. There is no music playing, Peyton can't really think of anything she wants to hear. She can't think of a song to fit this moment, the thought of her life changing moment. It's stuck in her head, nothing else, she cannot think. The landscape of the town she grew up in is passing her by. All bringing back memories of her childhood, her adolescent years, her past, her life. She cannot escape them anymore, and when they come to a stop at the intersection that turns onto Lucas's street she feels her skin crawl. Brooke gives it gas when the light turn green and Peyton begins to shake when she watches the letters of the street sign blaze by. Her own head is a mystery to her. Brooke looks over for a moment and sighs.
"You nervous?" She said breaking the silence.
Peyton looks over and gives her the brunette a weak smile. "Yeah," She admits. "I really, really, am."
"It's going to be, okay." Brooke said her voice steady.
"I feel like I'm making you keep saying that, but honestly Brooke, I don't think it's going to be okay." Peyton said hiccupping voice as tears began to drip out of her eyes.
The SUV veered into the parking lot of the doctor's office. Brooke parked and placed her hand on the blonde's shoulder.
"You got to have a little faith honey. I know it all seems bad now, but once you have that little worm in your arms it's going to be worth it, none of it's going to matter."
"Okay," Peyton said firmly wiping the tears from her eyes.
The two stepped out of the car and walked toward the building.
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White, Peyton had never seen so much binding white in her life. She looked over at Brooke who had a Parent's Magazine in her hand. Everything was sterile, bland, colorless light. The surfaces, the clothing of the doctors, there was no color, it was driving her crazy. She shifts in the plastic chair, uncomfortable, nervous, pregnant. She began to tap her finger on her chin and let her eyes wonder the room, white, everything was white. Her life now was a bland canvas, white and ready for her to add her own color.
"Miss. Sawyer," A young nurse said coming out of the swinging door. Peyton stood up and Brooke put her magazine down on the hard plastic table.
"You ready for this?" Brooke asked linking arms with Peyton.
"As I'll ever be," And the two followed the nurse behind the swinging door.
The exam room was no better, but somehow Peyton found a slight comfort in it. She lay on the exam table and kept looking over the room with her eyes, Brooke stood up against the wall arms crossed, watching a nervous Peyton looking around the room. Brooke couldn't imagine being Peyton, she wouldn't be able to hold on to herself together the way her best friend was.
"Good morning, Peyton." Doctor Harper said opening the door making the friends look up.
"Hi Doc," Peyton said flashing a quick smile to the doctor
"And who might this be?" the doctor said stepping toward Brooke.
"I'm Brooke Davis," She said holding out her hand. The doctor shook it.
"I'm Peyton's best friend."
"That's good; everyone needs a support system here, huh Peyton?"
"Most defently," Peyton said smiling.
"Alright so let's get this show on the road, were running short on Ultrasound Techs, so if you don't mind I can do the sonogram for you."
"That's fine."
The doctor lifted Peyton's shirt up and starting hooking up the different machines.
"You can come stand beside Peyton if you want to be able to see this monitor over here,"
Brooke moved over to Peyton side and squeezed her hand.
"Alright, Peyton, this gel is going to be real cold but I'm just going to squeeze it on you belly here."
The doctor took the tube of gel and squeezed it over her belly. Peyton flinched causing Brooke to giggle.
"Hey, don't laugh at me, it's really cold."
"Here we go," the doctor said placing the probe over her stomach.
The room filled with the sound of thumbing, a heart beat, the sound of life.
"Peyton," Brooke started.
Peyton's eyes began to well up with tears.
"That's my baby." Peyton said peering up to look at the form on the ultrasound monitor.
"Would you like to know the sex?" The doctor asked.
Peyton looked at Brooke, they were both smiling with tears streaming down their faces.
"Mhmmm." Peyton said nodding her head up and down.
The doctor moved the probe over her stomach, the sound of her child's heart beat filling up the room.
"It's a girl."
And with that, Peyton Sawyer's world changed.
Thump-thump-thump-thump
TBC
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A/N: Today was a snow day, we only got a few inches and in the area I live in that was a decent amount. Up in the DC area they got like 6 plus inches. But that's not really important. I'd love to hear your thoughts, if you put this story on alert, I'd love for you to just tell me what you think.
PLEASE! -Kelsey