"Keep her still Winry!" Pinako commanded, and I felt the weight on my chest increase as Winry shifted her weight to try and keep my squirming body still, without jeopardizing her angle on my limb. Gritting my teeth I muffled another scream; I tried to focus on something, the mechanical beeping, the spots on the ceiling, anything other than the pain shooting throughout the entire right side of my body.
My eyes flicked to the clock, three hours, it had been three hours since the procedure. The pain killers they had given me to start had long since worn off, and I could feel every tweak, every snip, and every stitch.
"Were almost there Becca," Winry comforted, before a sharp tweak ripped through my body.
"Fuck! I told you I'm Hayden!" Howling, I threw my head back into the pillows. Tears mixed with sweat and choked sobs left my nose running.
"This is going to be the worst one, take a deep breath," I sucked in deep determined breaths as she began to count down. When she hit one a fire coursed through veins, and I couldn't have stifled my scream if I tired. A pain greater than the entire surgery combined overwhelmed me, and my vision blurred before going black.
Slowly my hearing began to return, a soft buzz at first before the methodic beeping of my heart monitor brought me back to consciousness. As my vision returned I found Winry was still gently holding me down, proving that I had not been out for more than a few minutes.
A dull pain throbbed from my right side still as my chest continued to heave. With a sigh Winry slowly removed herself entirely from me, and shakily wiped away the sheen of perspiration that rested along her brow.
"You made it through." I looked to the old woman on my right, who gently dabbed around the swollen flesh that connected to my new automail arm that rested next to me.
I couldn't tear my eyes away from it, so foreign yet so familiar at the same time. I stared at it for a minute longer before moving to bring it to my face. When nothing happened I cursed and let my head fall back.
"Don't push yourself, your fresh out of surgery, and like we said it takes time and work to get movement back into your limb." Winry comforted with a small smile. "You should get some rest. We'll start therapy in few days, after you've recovered." With another smile Winry moved towards the door, Pinako having already left.
Once the door closed I focused back onto my new arm. I traced the cool metal with my left hand, marveling at the design. I felt my heart start to flutter in my chest, as a new hope began to burn. It was back, my arm was back; now nothing was going to stop me from finding a way home.
Two weeks later Winry was back at my bed side as I stared down at my hand, deep in concentration.
"It's ok, just take a deep breath and try again," she coaxed.
I was slowly becoming more and more frustrated; we had started physical therapy four days ago. Winry was hesitant, wanting to give my body more time to recover, but after days of pestering she gave in making me promise to take it easy and be patient. I had agreed at the time, but had quickly lost all that patience when on day 4 I was still having trouble consistently moving my fingers on command.
I grit my teeth and my eyebrows furrowed as I stared at my hands, a slight twitch of my pointer finger, and then nothing. I let out a frustrated breath at the lack of response.
"This is never going to work!" I complained, turning my head away from the object of my frustrations. Angry tears beginning to form. After the initial excitement of having an arm wore off I found myself disliking the foreign feel of the auto mail. "Winry it's not my arm, I can't feel it there! I can't move it, I can't do this." Tears dripped down my cheek and I grasped at the limp arm, pulling at it as panic set in.
Winry sighed, pulling out a medium rectangular mirror from under my bed. She gently pulled my hand away from the auto mail, and pushed me into my pillows, before she situated the mirror in my lap.
"It's ok Hayden, I just need you to breath," she comforted. "Look, you're ok. Your arm is ok." I peered down at the mirror which reflected the left side of my body, giving the image that I had both arms. She had explained that this trick was used often for amputee victims. It tricked the mind into believing the limb was still there.
With a sniffle I stopped crying as I calmed down. Winry perched herself on the edge of my bed, holding the mirror in place and she went through breathing exercises with me until I was back to normal.
"Alright, now I want you to wiggle the fingers on your left hand." I followed her instructions, watching the reflection. "Now keep wiggling those fingers and I want you to wiggle your left hand as well." I followed her instructions, keeping my eyes on the mirror. Slowly she began to lift the mirror away from my body.
A sigh left my lips and tears once again filled my eyes, albeit this time tears of happiness. In the place of a mirror I was now looking at my new hand, all 5 fingers wiggling just like Winry had told me to do.
"Alright now I want you to make a fist," she commanded. I gripped my hand and with a slight spasm, the hand clenched like it was supposed to. I let out a small laugh, letting my head fall back.
"I did it." This was the first time I had been able to successfully make a fist.
"I told you, you could do it. It just takes time and patience, the average person takes three years to fully regain control of their limb." She encouraged.
"I know, I just get so frustrated. The longer it takes, the longer I'm stuck here." A look of hurt crossed her features and I realized my mistake. "Oh Winry, I didn't mean it like that. I am so grateful for all you have done for me, really I truly am. But I don't belong here, I don't even really know where here is! I have to at least try to find my way home; I can't just sit here and give up." She smiled sadly at me, shaking her head.
"You know, you sound just like someone I know." I smiled back at her.
"Sounds like someone I'd like to meet."
"Well if he ever decides to visit I'll make sure to introduce you, and you can be stubborn together." She teased before standing, hands on her hips. "Well let's get back to it!"