Frozen in Ink

Chapter 12: Apologize To Me

"I need you like a heart needs a beat but it's nothing new.

I loved you with a fire red now it's turning blue, and you say

Sorry like an angel heaven let me think was you, but I'm afraid.

It's too late to apologize, it's too late."- One Republic [Apologize]

Chapter dedicated to- All of you brand new reviewers: Thanks for giving my story a chance and for taking time to review. I'm glad that you like it, and I hope you keep reading.

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"Peyton?"

"Hi Luke,"

She walks over to him slowly and reads his eyes, he's happy to see her, he can't tell. He doesn't know.

"How have you been?" He asks her, she feels dizzy, lovesick.

"Um you know I've been okay." He smiles at her, the grin, the Lucas grin, Peyton's legs feel like jell-o, she's off center.

He walks toward the other side of the café to get out of the people behind him way. She follows.

"That's really great, Peyt. You look amazing by the way." She laughs and sits down at her table; he sits in front of her.

"Not really, you look good though."

"Peyton, what are you talking about? You always look amazing." Peyton felt a blush rush up to her cheeks.

"Thank you Lucas."

"I thought you didn't like coffee." he states, he knows her so well.

"Yeah, I don't. I was just really in the need for a hot-chocolate."

"It is getting pretty cold out, huh?"

"Freezing. I can't believe it's almost Thanksgiving." She adds.

The barista calls out Lucas's order.

"Well Peyton," he says placing his hand on hers. She feels the heat in his touch; it's still there, the spark.

"I've got to get this coffee to Haley, but I'll see you soon."

"Okay," he gets up and grabs the coffees and walks toward the door, he looks at her once more before heading out, he can only think about how beautiful she looks.

"I'll be seeing you," he says followed by the sound of the bell above the door.

Peyton smiles, he just told her all she needs to know, he most certainly will be seeing her.

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Brooke jumps into the shower, the water is so hot that her skin turns pink.

Steam rises up over he head, and she cries, she sobs loudly, and it's earth shattering.

She thinks of what a bad person she is, why she's always the one who makes these kinds of mistakes, and she comes up the answer that surprises her, it's just all she's ever done.

She scrubs her skin until it bleeds and cries more, this is her fault, she deserves this.

Once she thinks she all but washed all the filth off her body, she get out of the shower, skin pink and raw, and wraps a soft towel around her body.

She dries off and with her back turned she turns her head and looks in the mirror only to see strong, deep, red, scratch marks down her back.

She only hurt herself.

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Lucas returns to school with a big smile on his face. He's giddy almost like a school girl, no one could wipe the smile on his face, he saw Peyton, his Peyton, and they actually carried a conversation.

He walks down the familiar hallways, each locker; each tile in the floor brings back the memories of high school four years prior. He hates to say he misses it. He wanted so bad to be a grown up but now his life was in shambles, twenty four and already a divorcee. Not technically anyhow, but in his mind that's kind of how he sees it. He hates to admit he'd love to go back to Senior Year and be with Peyton all over again. But really you can't hide from truth, no matter how hard you try. He knew from experience how true that statement was and its name is Lindsey.

Lucas finally stops in front of Haley's classroom door to see she is standing up in front of her class lecturing about modern fiction. Her class seems to not really care about Jodi Picoult or James Patterson and would rather text the person next to them or sleeps. He shakes his head and walks into the classroom.

"Hi, Ms. James-Scott." He says entering the classroom coffee cup in hand.

"Coach Scott," she responds laughing lightly.

"I brought coffee," Lucas hands her the Styrofoam cup and she smiles taking a quick sip and then takes a seat at her desk.

"Well, class I have a treat for you," she says giving Luke and look and then looking back to her students.

"If you guys don't know this is my good friend and brother in law, Lucas Scott, he's a novelist, already written two novels, one a best seller."

"Haley, no!" he whispers under breath, he knows what she's cornered him into to.

"And since you guys are having such a hard time relating to the curriculum and what real novelists face while writing and our school certainly can't afford to say air ship Jodi Picoult or James Patterson to you, we'll improvise." Haley grins. She always likes to hear him talk about his writing and maybe this could really help her student's understand, maybe she could get through to them, just maybe like she did back in high school when she was a tutor.

"I'll get you back later, Hales," He whispers and smiles up at the class of juniors, god junior year, he remembers, what a year.

"Hi, well you guys know, I'm Lucas Scott, I'm a basketball coach here, and I try to write when I go home at night. I've written two novels one, The Unkindness of Ravens, sound familiar?"

He looks into the crowd of kids and sees a few girls light up, as if remembering the epic love story he wrote down so many years ago.

"Wait," one of the girls in the middle row calls out. "You're Lucas Scott? As in THE Lucas Scott?!"

He nods and runs his hands through his hair. "Yeah, that would be me."

"Are you still in love with Peyton Sawyer?" another girl asks sitting in the front row.

He turns to look at Haley and then back at the group, "Yeah," he says softly "I am in love with Peyton Sawyer."

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When you look into the mirror, what you see is not always what's there, some people look at themselves and see a totally different person, some see the down dirty scoundrel that they are, other see what they've always wanted to be. Did you know that some of the most beautiful people on the planet are ugly on the inside? So ugly that if you knew that true person you could never looks at them the same. They hide behind their physical beauty and never once see they layers of themselves are rotten and worn away.

When Nathan Scott looks in the mirror he sees, what he's always seen, dark hair, blue eyes, a charming smile, but what doesn't get past him is the person he's becoming, the man who's so screwed up it only takes one look into his eyes, a good long look, to see how much he's changed.

After having sex with Brooke he doesn't feel better, in fact he feels so dirty, so disgusting, he actually wants to vomit. Sex never did that before and for the first time in a long time he finally sees something, clear as day, he has a problem, and he wants to be the man he use to be. The lightening strikes in his head and gets up and walks toward the kitchen. He hears soft sounds and murmurs of lovemaking coming from Mouth and Millie's room and smiles thinking of Haley. God he misses her, not just the sex part of their relationship but all of it, just being with her made him better, he wants to be better for her.

Nathan reaches on top of the refrigerator and grabs the phone book, yellow and thick with importance and life changing information. He smiles and opens it up looking for a number to finally fix everything. In that moment everything came full circle, there really was a light at the end of a long dark, tunnel.

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Brooke finished stuffing the last article of clothing in her suitcase, she doesn't want to do this, leave Peyton, but Brooke reasoned that she still had Julian and Victoria was riding her about Clothes over Bros, she just had to leave. She didn't really need to; Julian and the store was her scapegoat in all this. Peyton needed her, in six months there would be a baby here, that Peyton wouldn't in the least bit be ready for.

Brooke sat on top of the suitcase on her bed, head in her hands, she picked up her cell phone, dialed a number, and waited for a response, she had to apologize, she had to make this right.

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Haley arrived home early, she had a quick talk to Lucas about his discussion with the class, things were going to be okay, or she was going to hurt someone. When she reached her living room, she started to take her shoes off when she saw him. Nathan was standing in right in front of her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Hi Haley," he whispered softly.

"I wanted to come here an apologize to you,"

"Nathan, what the hell is going on?" she asked him, searching his eyes.

"Haley, I've done a lot of wrong these past six months, a lot of wrong…"his trailed off trying to figure how to tell his wife all the wrong he'd done.

"I know that,"

"I'm going into treatment tonight,"

"Oh my god Nathan!" she reached over and hugged him. "That's great."

He felt the guilt wash over him at her touch, he screwed up royally.

"Would you mind sitting down? I really want to speak to you about a few things."

"Sure," Haley takes a seat on the long blue couch, he sits next to her.

"I've hurt you so bad," he says taking her hand.

"And there are some things that right here right now I want to admit to you,"

Haley looks into his blue eyes, trying so hard to read them.

"I'm sorry that I've abandoned you and our son, you don't deserve that Haley. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me after the accident. I'd take all that back in a heart beat."

"I know," she says softly.

"I'm sorry that I committed adultery with Carrie, I don't know what I was thinking."

"Damn straight," she says looking at him wild-eyed. She doesn't like to remember that, she hates to.

"The night of Lucas's wedding I went out drinking," he started how was he supposed to tell her that he'd slept with Peyton, Lucas's Peyton?

"And I was really upset, and I made a mistake Haley, a big mistake."

"What did you do Nathan?" She asks squeezing his hand.

"I…I… I slept with Peyton." Haley drops his hand and looks at him stunned.

"How could you do that? To me? To Lucas? To her? EVEN TO HER!"

Haley stood up her fist clenched; she felt her finger nails digging into her palms, blood trickling down.

"It was a mistake, Haley. I wish it never happened."

"Just like you wish all the others didn't happen! GET OUT! JUST GET THE FUCK OUT!"

"Haley," he pleaded.

"I SAID OUT!"

"Okay, I love you Haley, tell Jamie too," And he got up and walked toward the door.

"YOU SURE HAVE A HELL OF WAY OF SHOWING IT!" she screamed.

The door slammed and Haley collapsed in a fit of tears.

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The airport was crowded, and after admitting her mistakes to Marley about how she was in no way fit to foster a child, Brooke felt a sense of chill come over her body, it was like when one day during the winter the weather is unseasonably warm, but then the wind blows reminding you of how cold it can be. She didn't want to leave Tree Hill, but she wasn't strong enough yet to handle this, she needed to grow just a little. So once her flight to New York was called, she walked toward the terminal, looked back a few times, and then boarded the plane.

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There was a sharp knock on the front door, Julian was sitting in the living room so he got up and opened it. There stood Lucas Scott and Julian Baker, both standing in front of each other not knowing that they were both the old loves of Peyton Sawyer. Lucas looked at the man puzzled as to why he'd be here, he asked himself all sorts of questions.

Who's this guy?

Does he live here?
Is this Brooke's new boyfriend?
And then the question that was the hardest for him to swallow.

Is he with Peyton?

That question sickened Lucas to no end.

"Can I help you?" Julian asked.

"Yeah, I'm I'm looking for Peyton."

"Oh, yeah, she's uh here." Julian said opening the door a little and stepping aside.

"I'm Julian Baker," he said extended his hand to Lucas.

"Lucas, Lucas Scott."

The face on Julian's face was undesirable, a mixture of shook, confusion, and a ting of happiness.

"I've read your book, it's really great man."

"Thanks,"

"Hey why don't you sit here in the living room, I'll get Peyton."

"Okay thanks."

Julian knocked on Peyton's door and opened it quickly.

She stood in front of a full length mirror, her shirt up looking at her small belly.

"Hey Jue, would you mind?"

"Lucas is here." he rushed out

Knots grew in Peyton's stomach.

"What?"

"He wants to see you and unless you would like him to see that pretty little baby bump you better put on some baggy clothes."

She smiles at him and brushes her curly hair behind her ear.

"Thanks Jue, god only knows what he's assuming about you and me."

Julian chuckled. "The truth."

"I doubt that."

"I'll tell him you're changing. See you in a minute." Julian leaves her alone in her red bedroom.

Peyton takes one long look over body and the small little bump on her.

"Daddy Lucas is here," she whispers placing her hand on her abdomen.

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A/N: Good Chapter? Bad Chapter? I'm sorry if it feels a little rushed I wasn't in my best writing mood. I'm sorry this update took so long, thank you for all of you who reviewed last chapter; my internet was down last night, as well as my phone, and TV. Something happened in our neighborhood, no idea. I also got in trouble and I'm actually surprised I have this done at all, my mom took all my stuff away, long story short It wasn't a very fun weekend. Today I'm going to the children's hospital to see a rheumatologist about this supper bad pain all over and in my joints. Remember 13 reviews if you want chapter 13. Special thanks to all my regulars for still sticking with this story. [hey newbies I dedicated this chapter to you, don't get upset.] I LOVE all of you guys for your support and feedback. Also I strongly suggest to all of you guys who aren't reading spoiler boards and are not listening to gossip about who is leaving and who isn't, keep doing that. Because now I'm dreading next week instead of being excited for the new episode. [cause I read the boards and watched Hilarie's vlog twenty times] But by looks of it, it's going to be a pretty heavy episode. Anyway remember to leave me your love and that is but not limited too, comments, favoriting, or alerting. [how bout all three?:D] Have a good week guys.

-Kelsey