Frozen in Ink
Chapter 13: Bitter Taste
"It's the bitter taste of losing everything that I've held so dear.
I'm fallen I have sunk so low. I've messed up better I should know.
So don't come round here and tell me I told you so." –Sarah McLachlan [Fallen]
A/N: So I'm back, couldn't stay away, you guys are right, I'm from now on writing this for me, and I want to thank you all for your support, Spring Break is over and now I'm relaxed and regrouped, So I was thinking that I might be able to give you more story and of course 14 reviews for this chapter:) Since I felt SO bad for making you wait for this, I wrote a one-shot as a little gift for all of you guys for your really great encouragement. I'm going to try my best to update as much as possible. SO PLEASE, let me know what you think, and press that little button at the bottom of the screen and let me know what you think. :) Don't forget to check out the one-shot (entitled Shades of Patience) BTW: the time stated is the time at the end of the scene. Happy Reading -Kelsey
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New York City; An Hour and a Half Earlier
This city had always amazed her, how everything moved so fast, how people interacted, and a touch, a simple bumping into someone on the sidewalk can change your life, or at least it had always been that way in the movies. Brooke never really got to experience the real heart of the city, she'd never been anywhere besides the upper east side of Manhattan and never really went anywhere she actually wanted to go besides her apartment and the office, she only had a view of Time's Square from her penthouse, she never actually got to stand there and breathe in the air chockfull of smog and pollutants. That wasn't what her life was, she spent hours in the office working her ass off like there was no tomorrow, she loved it, but what came after the work, when she showered and ran a brush through her hair was the part she hated. She had to be what Victoria wanted her to be, she had to dress up in a designer gown, go to movie premiers, birthday parties of people who might as well been strangers, and the charity functions were never ending, always for something different that half time she had never heard of. But the same thing occurred every time she arrived back to her apartment, it would be completely quiet, she would always be all alone. There would be no more loud music, no party guest talking to you like you'd been best friends for years, even though it was front, because they actually hated your guts, it was what sat in the silence of four walls, just quiet, bitter, cold, quiet.
The apartment was just as she left it months ago, clean, and empty, not physically empty, but an emotional one. She had the best furntiture, she hired one of the best designers to come in do the apartment at her mother's insistence, but it wasn't what she wanted it to look like, it didn't feel as homey as the house with Peyton in Tree Hill had. Brooke set her suitcase down in the middle of her sitting room and took a good look around. And maybe, just maybe that emptiness was the point.
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Tree Hill, North Carolina; 7:00 PM EST
Haley breathed in deeply, tears drying at the corners of her eyes. She had already screamed and cried and to be honest she was tired of fighting. What was she fighting for? And why was she doing it all? Nathan was no longer the man she married and a piece of her told her he could never be him. Who's to say she can't be happy? Who's to say that she has to loose? Why can't she win? As she struggled with the thoughts within her, tears streaming down her face, she began to see the world for what it was, and she began to see the people around her for themselves too.
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His heart raced, all though he was a man with a heart condition, he couldn't help himself. In Lucas's heart of hearts he knew that the calmness wouldn't set over him until he saw her face, until he knew that there feelings for each other were true, that they were as real as they were five years earlier. A few feet away in the armchair sat Julian Baker, a man with what women would find a fantastic smile, that would melt your heart, and Lucas had no idea who this man was, how he knew Peyton, or even why he was here in the first place. He sure did look pretty damn conferrable. Lucas fought the urge to punch the brunette in the face and instead sat silent, looking at the television screen in front of him.
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Peyton tipped toed out the door, and tried her best to remain as quiet as possible. She listened closely to the sound that echoed off the walls in the hallway leading into the living room. The sound of words trickling out of the television filled her eardrums. The words didn't make much sense, they were all jumbled up, and perhaps a certain blonde boy had a lot to do with that. She reached the clearing of the hallway and saw Lucas and Julian's back towards her. They both stared absently at the TV and she smiled a small smile thinking of what had to be going through Luke's head. Peyton cleared her throat and smiled a soft but unsure smile. Lucas and Julian both turned around quickly. The blue eyes of the man she loved quickly caught hers, catching her off guard. She blinked and tried her best to keep her composer.
"Hi Luke,"
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New York City; An Hour Earlier
Brooke had never known that you could hate someone with ever fiber of your being and still harbor love for them at the bottom of your heart. This is until she had to look her mother dead in the eyes. She had never really known that the hues of brown in Victoria's eyes could be so dark and yet so heartbreaking. Looking at her mother, standing before her, broke her heart.
"Victoria," she whispered all ready defeated. She knew the moment her mother walked through the door this very fight would be ensued.
"Well, well, well, Brooklyn, I see things didn't work out in that little hick town and now you want your mommy to take care of you, huh?"
Brooke gasped and her eyes traveled franticly around her loft.
She looked back into her mother's eyes and began to feel the anger rise up in her.
"This is my company, Victoria!"
Victoria rolled her eyes and scoffed at her daughter.
"Well, Brooke. Can't stay long, going to go get plastered at a 60-40. Have enough vodka to land in a rich man's bed."
Brooke sucked her teeth.
"Good Luck finding your next husband, mother."
Victoria shook her head and threw her hair over her shoulder.
"Remember where you were before this Brooke," She said reminding her daughter of things Brooke was fighting so hard to escape.
Victoria put her coach bag on her shoulder and left the apartment leaving Brooke alone.
Brooke felt her head spin and sat on her suede coach and rubbed the material over and over with her palm. Thoughts of Peyton and little girl growing inside her filled her mind. She sighed and pushed her head up against the back of the couch. And she started a war with herself.
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Tree Hill, North Carolina 7:32 PM EST
"Hi, Luke."
He turned around quickly to see her beautiful as ever, arms crossed over her chest, grey sweats blanketing her body.
"Peyton," he says softly. He feels a little sick to his stomach and turns to look at Julian, he looks at Peyton just to acknowledge her presence but doesn't look at her with adoration or lust, maybe just a little worry. What does he have to be worried about?
"Is everything okay?" She asks softly and she prays something bad didn't happen.
Peyton's figure moves over so she's now next to him on the couch.
"Yeah Peyt, everything's perfectly fine." A grin spreads across her face.
"Good," Peyton smiles and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. "You've met Julian, right?" She asks and looks over to the brunette.
"He's an old friend from LA, just came out to visit." Julian nods his head.
"I'm going head up stairs, call if you need anything." Julian adds rising from his seat.
The two blondes were now alone is the living room and Lucas couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.
"You look different," He says breaking the small silence.
"Really? I don't think so."
"You want something to drink?" She asks him trying to play hostess.
"No, I'm fine. Are you dating him?"
"Who Julian?" She asks like she has no idea what in god's name he's talking about.
"Yeah, him."
"I use to," she admits not wanting to lie to him anymore than she has to.
"Oh." Lucas adds softy "Is here to win you back or something?" he asks trying to lighten the mood but it does the exact opposite.
"No," she says firmly.
"Lucas," she starts
"Peyton, god Peyton…. I am such an idiot." Peyton looks at him wild-eyed, waiting for the words to trickle out of his mouth.
"I've done you wrong, Peyton I broke your heart, I hurt you. But you said no."
"NO!" She said raising her voice. "For the last time Luke I didn't say NO I said SOMEDAY! SOMEDAY! I wanted to marry you then! I want to marry you now. But I 'm scared Luke. I was scared." Her admission surprised him.
"Peyton," he said gently.
"Don't do that! Don't 'Peyton' me. I love you Lucas. I do, but things have happened."
"So you know why I'm here?" he asked her.
"Yes, yes I do."
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"Mama?"
"Yes Jamie," Haley responds picking up a few of her son's clothes off the floor.
"When's daddy coming home?"
"Oh honey," she says softly. "Daddy's really sick, so he had to go away for a little while so he can get better."
"But he's not going away forever, like Uncle Keith, right?"
Haley swallowed the lump in her throat. Nathan wasn't dying there was no need to get emotional and panic.
"No," she said tucking her son into bed. "Your daddy's going to be home soon, baby."
"You promise?" Jamie asks her.
She leans down and presses her lips to his forehead.
"I promise, honey." She whispers and turns off the light and leaves the room.
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New York City; A Half Hour Earlier
After unpacking her suitcase, Brooke realizes the left everything of importance clothes wise in Tree Hill. Frustrated she went back into the living room and laid on the soft suede couch. She placed her earbuds from her ipod into her ears and started the shuffle. She let the music take her away, like Calgon, because all she felt like she needed to do was run away, like a scared child.
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Tree Hill, North Carolina 8:00 PM EST
"Peyton," he said softly.
"Yeah Luke?"
"Do you really think we were meant to be?"
She looks over to him stunned.
"Of course I do, I've known it from the moment we met to each moment after that…."
"Everything keeps coming back to you." He whispers softly finishing her thought.
"Why is it so hard then Peyton?" he asked her, serious.
Their relationship was so bumpy, so complicated, every relationship they'd ever had besides each other had been so much simpler besides one problem, they were in love with each other, so much so that each one of their lovers who saw Lucas and Peyton as what they were, true love. And the one problem in their relationships with others was the other person. And maybe that was the point.
She looks at him and stares into his dark blue orbs. "I don't know. God I wish I knew."
"It's the universe is testing us or something,"
"Or against us." She said interjecting her signature Peyton Sawyer sarcasm.
He didn't realize how much she meant that statement, how this life inside her, had to be screaming something underlying the two of them, maybe they were wrong.
After a few moments of awkward silence Lucas looks back up and Peyton, "What aren't you telling me?"
Goosebumps spread all over Peyton's body, he knew something was wrong, he could hear it in her.
She exhaled loudly as tears began to form in her eyes.
"A lot,"
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-TBC-
A/N: I could have gone longer but then I just couldn't. It's a good place to end it, maybe!? I just got a tad stuck here, and next chapter will probably be filler, concluding the day's events. Something just dawned on me a few days ago, about the timeline for the show. I was reading a story someone had that was set in current seasons or "the future" and they had the year as like 2017 but the first two seasons were one year and the 3rd and 4th seasons were senior year meaning that it would have been '07 four years later. (season 5) so I just thought I'd share that. I'm feeling awful by the way, so I'm going to try to update (and write as much of next chapter) ASAP. Bear with me, please. I'm going to have some of Nathan's admittances to rehab next chapter. Leave love guys:)