She calls Serena through her tears as she exits the Bass Industries building, begging the girl to meet her for lunch. They arrive at the Waldorf Rose apartment only minutes apart, and as her friend walks through the door she ends up clinging to her in a manner so unlike her that Serena seems momentarily stunned.
"Shh B," Serena comforts and hugs her tight. "What is wrong? And what happened last night? I only caught the end of the 'show'."
The attempted joke only has her crying harder, and she buries her face in Serena's hair.
It takes several minutes for her to settle down enough for Serena to lead her over the couch. They sit down and as she is still trying to catch her breath, she tells Serena everything. She starts all the way from the beginning - with the pregnancy scare - and all the way up to she ended up in his office this morning.
Though she chooses to leave out the part of him - Serena's stepbrother - pushing her up against a wall…twice.
Serena listens attentively, only making little noises every now and then to spur her on.
"Wow" Serena sighs, once she has finished, seeming a little overwhelmed from finally knowing the whole story. "I am so sorry, B. That must have been awful."
She can only nod in response, blinking furiously to prevent more tears from falling.
"I asked him to go see you in Paris. But he told me that he had it taken care of. He didn't mention a word about knowing what had happened, let alone being the 'mastermind' behind it."
"Oh, he showed up alright," She replies, letting out a bitter imitation of a laugh at the memory. "Most likely to gloat."
"He is not the devil incarnate, B." Serena objects with a sad expression on her face. "No matter how he used to behave back in high school. He changed, grew up."
She purely scoffs disbelievingly in reply.
"But there is one more thing I don't get…" Serena continues, frowning. "You're saying that Al…" The blonde ignores the angry glare from her when she mentions thatskanky piece of trash. "…slept with Chuck, and that is why you went all Lindsay Lohan on her last night?"
She nods, wiping the last traces of tears from her cheeks.
"But…you don't care about Chuck?"
"No." She replies quickly, ignoring the way her stomach reacts to hearing his name. "But that doesn't mean that she didn't deserve what she got."
Serena comes close to smiling at her jealous tone, but presses her lips together as she shoots her a murderous glare.
"I am sorry, but Al sleeping with Chuck?" Serena laughs, "There is no way."
"I'm sure she didn't hesitate to construct a highway to get into his pants."
"I know her, B." Serena reminds her softly. "She and Chuck are nothing but friends; Al would never fall for his so called charm…No insult intended." She hastily adds. "And Chuck has never made a move on her, I would know."
"And I know what I saw." She retorts icily.
"Maybe you should talk to him about it?" Serena suggests. "Get some closure at least?"
"I have nothing to say to him. Things couldn't be more closed." She snaps, ignoring the voice in the back of her head that is telling her something else entirely.
"Did you sleep with Al?"
Serena doesn't bother with pleasantries as he answers her call, and he thanks his lucky stars that he didn't put her on speaker phone. He raises his hand in a silent excuse and leaves the meeting.
"What?" He says, as he steps put in the hallway, both baffled and annoyed. "Isn't it a little early in the day to be drinking yourself into stupidity, sis?"
"Blair claims that she saw you and Al kissing as Al was leaving yourdorm, wearing yourclothes." Serena continues, and he can hear the doubt and confusion in her voice.
"What? What the hell are you talking about? When? What did she tell you?" He frowns, stopping in his tracks.
"In college, before you guys…She told me everything." Serena replies in a sad tone. "I am sorry Chuck."
He can't handle pity on top of everything else, and the ludicrous, confusing tales of Blair Waldorf is starting to wear thin on what little is left of his patience.
"Whatever." He scoffs, pressing his thumb and index finger to the bridge of his nose.
"I am in a meeting, I have to go."
But he doesn't return to the meeting right away. After finishing the call he returns to his office. Sinking down on the couch, he rests his head in his hands tiredly, trying to piece together some of the puzzle.
His head is beginning to pound – a dull ache spreading from his forehead to the back of his head – as he reaches out for his phone and almost knocks his glass over as he does.
The whole day has gone by in a blur. He somehow got back into the boardroom and wrapped up the meeting, finished the work he had to do, got back to his apartment and later on called Serena back. She retold her conversation with Blair, and as she went through it all, he began to see things a little more clearly.
He poured himself the first glass of scotch the second they finished their conversation.
Maybe he should know better by now, maybe he should have realized that it wouldn't help sort out the exhausting mess in his mind. But he really didn't give a fuck.
Clarity isn't always what you make it out to be.
So I might be more than a little drunk, he thinks as he dials a familiar number, squinting to make sure he pushes the right keys, his phone apparently having shrunk to matchbox size during the last hours. But he is more than entitled to have a drink or two after this crappy excuse of a day.
He is not sure why he is calling someone, because it isn't something that he would normally even consider. All he knows is that not even the alcohol seems to be able to slow down his racing thoughts, and he can't stand to listen to them any longer.
"Hmpf." Is the only response he gets as the person on the other line picks up.
"Al." He drawls, relieved as the concentration coherent speech requires draws attention from some of the unpleasant thoughts and memories.
"What? Fish?" Al's voice sighs groggily. "Do you have any idea what time it is, mate?"
"Sorry." He apologizes as a glance over to the watch tells him that it is almost two a.m. "I'll let you get back to sleep..."
"Well too much beauty sleep and I will simply be ridiculously attractive." She jokes, but he can hear her stifle a yawn. "What is wrong?"
What is wrong? The words echo through his mind.
Everything would the simplest answer.
Everything is wrong and has been for years.
When the thought hits him - he realizes just how drunk he really is - because that is not even close to what he is willing to admit.
"She thinks that I cheated on her." He chooses to ignore the question all together, and instead opts for the closest to the truth that he will allow himself to go. "With you."
"Whaaat?" Al shrieks. "Who does? Blair?"
"Who else?" He replies dryly, then suddenly not so sure anymore; "…but I didn't…right?"
He can hear her words ringing in his ears, telling him that he never changed, that he is just like him, that he is worse. Maybe she was right all along.
The room is spinning faster now. He slowly moves around so that he is lying down, and closes his eyes.
"Oh, hell no darling." Al reassures him jokingly, but there is concern in her voice that he would pick up on if he wasn't completely smashed. "You are too moody for my likings."
"She thought that I did…" He repeats, contemplating the fact that his couch is apparently floating and rocking around on open sea. "That's why she…"
Even now he can't bring himself to say it out loud, and the memory has some of the hurt seeping into his voice.
"That sucks, Fish. I am so sorry." Al sighs, and he can hear the sadness in her voice even though it sounds as if she is talking under water.
"…yeah." He sighs, drifting off to sleep. "It really does."
tbc