Chapter 3: Resurfacing

It was late afternoon when Malik arrived at Lhant Manor. Sophie had been gardening, and she broke into a run as soon as she saw her adored captain in the distance.

When she reached him, Malik lifted her in a tight embrace, chuckling and saying, "You're too big now, Sophie. These old bones won't put up with your weight for very long."

Sophie was back on the ground, smiling. "It's not nice to talk about a girl's weight, Captain," she said, playfully pointing a finger at him.

"Oh? Judging from that gesture, I suppose you learned that from Cheria."

"Yes," she replied, giggling, "I saw her scolding Asbel about it."

Malik's smile grew stale as he remembered the purpose of his visit. "Is Asbel inside, Sophie? I need to talk to him."

Sophie nodded, taking Malik's hand and dragging him to the manor. Once they were inside, Sophie gave the hall a quick glance, and found it empty. She paused, took a deep breath, and bellowed, "Asbeeeel!"

The study door burst open, revealing a flushed young lord.

"Sophie?! Are you okay?" His eyes were wide, but once he realized the girl was perfectly fine, he exhaled in relief. "I told you to stop screaming like that, Sophie. You'll scare me to death one day." Then, he finally seemed to notice the guest by her side. "Oh, hey, Captain."

"Hello, Asbel. I see things here are as lively as always."

"You could say that." He gave a weary sigh. "Um... I'm finishing up some paperwork. Can you give me five minutes?"

"Of course," Malik replied, and Asbel disappeared behind the door.

Sophie stood in silence by his side, wiping dirt from her dress. Once she realized Malik was looking at her, she said, "Asbel has been working a lot lately."

"He did have dark circles around his eyes," Malik pointed out. Then, glancing around, he added, "Where's Cheria?"

"She's out on relief work," Sophie replied, "There's a lot she needs to do before the wedding."

"Oh? And who is planning it?"

"Granny Kerri!"

Malik smiled. He wondered what the former Lady of Lhant thought of her new title.

A soft click claimed Malik's attention, and he turned to see Asbel opening the study's door. "Sorry to leave you waiting," Asbel said, "You can come in now."

Sophie waved and hopped back to the garden, leaving the two men alone. Malik followed Asbel inside, closing the door after him.

Asbel sat behind his desk. "So, what is it? Border, trade? I hope it isn't bad news..."

Malik was awed for a moment. Since when did Asbel become so focused in his work? Judging by his appearance, it seemed as if he hadn't left his study much in the last few weeks. And his expression was so... tired. Where was his usual bright smile?

"This isn't a business visit, Asbel."

The lord blinked in confusion. "Oh. Oh! I'm sorry. Let's go outside, then. I'll ask Frederic to bring us something to eat. ...Are you going to stay overnight? I can have the guestroom prepared."

Malik smiled. "Don't fret, Asbel. I'm only stopping by. Thought it would be a good idea to check on my dear former student, see?"

Asbel returned the smile weakly. "Thanks, Captain." He paused, his gaze falling to hands that fidgeted over his lap. "So... any news?"

"At my age? Nothing interesting." He chuckled, but Asbel's smile faded. Indeed, there was something very wrong with him. He kept fidgeting, his eyes flicking between Malik and his own hands, as if he was anxious about something.

"What about you, Asbel? Anything you would like to share?"

"Oh... I guess life at my age is pretty boring, too," he replied with a forced smile. There was a long pause until he finally continued, "Are you on your way to Barona?"

Malik took a deep breath. "No, I'm on my way to Fendel. I left Barona today."

Asbel froze. His hands stopped moving, and he leaned his body forward, sitting on the edge of his chair. "How... How is Richard doing?"

"Asbel... When was the last time you spoke to His Highness?"

There was another pause, during which Asbel began fidgeting again. Malik finally noticed he was holding a golden ring set with a green cryas stone. Asbel took a deep breath and started, "I haven't spoken to him since the party," - he looked down at the ring, and slipped it into one of his fingers - "I wanted to talk to him the morning after," - he removed the ring and went back to fiddling with it - "but he said he was busy and sent me away." As his voice faded, his hands ceased to move. He held on tightly to the ring, trembling softly from the tension in his muscles.

Malik sighed in frustration. "Asbel... You should visit him."

"Visit him?" He looked up, bringing the ring close to his chest. "No, he's... he's probably busy." His gaze fell. "I wouldn't want to trouble him."

"You asked me how he was doing, Asbel. And he isn't well. I'm sure he would want to see you."

Asbel looked at him with anxious eyes, before looking down again and shaking his head solemnly. "I... I don't think so, Captain. If he needed me, he'd call for me. I don't think he wants to see me."

Malik frowned, his patience growing short. "What makes you think that, Asbel? Has King Richard ever not wanted to see you?"

"That morning. He didn't want to see me." Asbel's voice was barely a whisper. "I sent him a letter a week later. He never replied." He looked up at Malik with pleading eyes. "I don't know what to do, Captain. He's angry at me, and I have no idea why-"

He was interrupted as Malik stood up, pounding his fists on the wooden desk.

"Asbel, you fool! He's in love with you, and it's killing him! That's why he sent you away! And if you keep refusing to see him, heavens know what he will do to himself!"

Asbel's eyes widened. The green cryas ring slipped from his fingers and fell to the floor with a soft clink.

"Your Highness? Your Highness, may I come in?"

Silence.

"...Your Highness?"

Richard lifted his head from a trade permit, startled. How long had his attendant been calling for him?

"Yes. Come in."

The door opened and a servant shuffled inside. He breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing his king was alive, and only then he remembered to bow. After an almost unnecessarily long reverence, he finally said, "You have a visitor, Your Highness."

Richard placed the unread document on his desk, keeping himself from frowning. He didn't remember scheduling anything today; his memory couldn't be failing to this point...

Clearing his throat, he asked, "And the visitor is?"

The servant blinked, as if surprised by his monarch's question. "Lord Asbel, Your Highness."

There was a gasp. Not Richard's - but his attendant's, who hadn't been able to repress his shock at seeing the king rise from his seat with enough abruptness to knock the chair back. Richard froze for a moment, realizing what he had just done, and quickly turned away from the wide-eyed servant.

After a long silence, Richard finally spoke.

"Send him away."

"Y-Your Highness?"

"Send him away," Richard repeated, his voice nearly breaking. "I cannot see him. I am... far too occupied."

The servant waited, hardly believing his words. Once he realized the king would speak no further, he left to follow his orders.

After hearing the door close, Richard knelt slowly to lift his chair. With the same lethargic movements, he returned to his seat, resting his elbows over his desk and burying his face into his hands.

I'm a fool!

For months, he dreamed of Asbel's visit. He waited so long for this one moment. There was nothing he wanted more than seeing Asbel - and yet...

How could he face him?

How could he stand before Asbel after everything he had done? How could he speak to him with the thoughts that now loomed in his head? And, worst of all - how could he look into his eyes without breaking down?

No. He couldn't face Asbel, for now.

But how long would now last?

The sky changed from blue to orange to black as Richard remained in his study, mulling over his servant's words as he fruitlessly attempted to sort through his documents. Eventually realizing this was doomed to be an unproductive day, he stood and left for his room.

As he walked down the corridor that led to his chamber, he heard a frantic tap tap tap of steps. Richard ignored it, assuming them to belong to a hurried servant on some errand, and entered his room without a thought. However, when he attempted to close the door behind him, he found it stuck in place. The tapping sound was gone.

Turning, Richard saw Asbel panting and holding the door.

Everything seemed to freeze around him. All he could do was stare, wide-eyed, as Asbel stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

"S-Sorry to barge in, Richard." His voice was soft, but his expression was anxious and concerned.

Unable to look into Asbel's eyes, Richard's gaze feel to the floor. He wanted to run, to dash out of the room and disappear, but he knew Asbel would stop him - he always did. Why did Asbel have to go to such lengths for him? If he had never taken their friendship so far, done so much for Richard without wanting anything in return, shown him so much kindness and devotion... Then Richard wouldn't...

He heard Asbel move towards him. Like a scared child, he locked his eyes shut, uselessly hoping that it could make him invisible.

However, instead of being ignored, Richard felt arms close around him. Strands of hair brushed against his cheek, and soft breathing warmed his ear. Asbel pulled him close, bound him tightly in his embrace.

Richard couldn't will his arms to move. He was torn; on one side, he knew he should step away, for Asbel's feelings were different from his own - but on the other hand, there was nothing he wanted more than to hold on to Asbel and never let go.

Quietly, Asbel whispered, "I'm sorry it took me so long to come." He spoke the words slowly, breathing them in Richard's ear. "I wanted to talk to you the morning after the party, but you sent me away... A-And the letter I sent you... You didn't reply, and I... I thought you were mad at me. I thought... I thought you didn't want to see me anymore."

"...A-Asbel, I'd never..." Richard's words had left his mouth before he could think. He stopped, pressing his lips together; his breaking point was drawing close. He couldn't allow himself to burden Asbel with his feelings, to taint his happiness and make him feel guilty about his marriage. If he spoke another word and spilled his secret, Asbel would blame himself for his suffering. And Richard couldn't allow this to happen.

Slowly, he pushed Asbel away. "...Please leave." It was all he could muster.

Silence. Asbel stared at him, his eyes blinking in confusion, waiting for an explanation. Once more, Richard couldn't look at him, and his gaze fell to the floor again.

"Richard." Asbel's voice was pleading, but Richard remained still. "Richard, talk to me!"

"I asked you to leave!"

For a moment, Asbel seemed so hurt Richard thought he would obey. But instead, he muttered, "Is that... is that what you really want?" No answer. "I don't want to leave, Richard. I want... I want to stay with you."

Richard clenched his fists; that was too much. Closing his eyes, he blurted, "Shouldn't you be with your fiancée?!"

Asbel cringed at the harshness in Richard's voice, before crying back, "I don't want to get married, Richard!" He paused, breathing heavily, as Richard stared at him with wide, desperate eyes. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about on the morning after the party. That's what I've wanted- No, what I've needed to talk about, all this time."

Silence fell around them, Asbel breathing hard after his torrent of words, Richard still wide-eyed and unbelieving. Finally, he muttered, "Why... why don't you want to get married?"

"At... at first, I didn't really know," Asbel replied, his voice as hesitant as Richard's, "I was confused. That's why I wanted to talk to you. I thought... you could help me understand the reason I felt like that. The reason I still feel like that." He paused, looking into Richard's eyes. "But I... I understand it now. And I'm... I'm so sorry it took so long, Richard. If the Captain hadn't told me-"

A terrified exclamation interrupted him. "He told you?!"

Asbel nearly jumped back. Richard's expression had twisted into one of sheer horror; both hands covered his mouth, and his wide eyes were glassy with tears.

"Richard?!" Asbel, confused, reached towards him. Richard staggered back, tears rolling down his cheeks - Asbel knew, knew how he had used Malik's feelings, knew the wretched things he had done... He felt Asbel approaching him, and he tried to step away, to run, to disappear, to do anything in order not to face him-

But firm hands closed around his wrists, pulled them away from his face, and before he had time to realize what was happening... Asbel kissed him.

It lasted but a moment, only enough to make Richard stop struggling, but more than enough to leave him breathless. Asbel backed away only a few inches and stood close to him, looking into his wet eyes, still holding his wrists with trembling hands.

"I... I don't know why you freaked out just now," Asbel muttered, "But... what the Captain said was that... that you were in love with me." He looked down, blushing. "And... I realized I feel the same for you." His eyes remained locked on the floor, his cheeks a deep shade of crimson.

Richard was unable to react. He stood motionless and unbelieving, until Asbel timidly lifted his gaze and mustered a shy smile. Finally, Richard felt something inside him shatter.

And he was in Asbel's arms.

His thoughts were no longer coherent. He was weeping and smiling and laughing and sobbing, all while burying his face on Asbel's shoulder and clinging desperately to the front of his clothes. The situation was almost surreal to him, a horrible nightmare suddenly turned into an unexpected, blissful dream. Asbel's arms were enveloping him gently, stroking his back and his hair, and he whispered words that Richard could barely understand - but his voice sounded loving and sweet, and that was the only thing that mattered.

Slowly, Richard felt the pieces of his mind fall back together, and he slipped his arms around Asbel's torso to pull him closer. Finally, he could make sense of Asbel's words; "Richard, are you... are you okay?" In response, he tightened his hold on Asbel.

And he spoke, his voice hoarse and shaky. "I... I never... I never would've expected this, Asbel. I-I'm so sorry for not speaking to you that day. I couldn't... I couldn't bring myself to face you. And I made you suffer because of it-"

"Richard," Asbel interrupted. "It's okay. Please don't worry about it."

Silence. Richard rested his head on Asbel's shoulder, still inhaling through gasps, and a slow stream of tears still flowing from his eyes. After a while, he muttered, "I... I slept with Malik."

Asbel flinched. The hand that caressed Richard's hair stopped mid-motion. For a moment, even his breathing seemed to have died down, and Richard was terrified - but then he felt fingers running through his hair once more.

"It... It doesn't matter, Richard." Asbel pulled him closer, tighter. "Whatever happened... or comes to happen... I just want to be with you."

There was no hesitation, no fear, no shame.

There was only warmth. Gentle and soft, sweet and tender, blissful warmth. Arms that were so familiar, yet an embrace unlike any he had ever been given. Skin on skin, each small touch coursing through all of his body, the most delicate contact escalating into tides of pleasure that dominated every of his senses.

He could smell his scent, earthy and homely and simply Asbel. An aroma that meant he was safe, that he would always be safe, for Asbel would never abandon him. On the corner of his eyes, he saw the disheveled auburn hair he loved so much; the short locks tickled his skin, and he couldn't help but smile. When Asbel turned to face him, he was smiling as well, mismatched eyes shining with a radiance that seemed out of this world.

Impossibly soft lips locked against his own, and he tasted a kiss, a warm and gentle mouth, tenderness that could belong to no one else. A long sigh escaped from Asbel's lungs, vibrating through his mouth and into Richard's, a shared breath that instilled them with new life. Their lips parted so they could shuffle closer, settle in each other's arms, intertwine their legs, press every inch of their skin together.

The warmth was becoming stronger, kindling a fire inside them. They moved in sync to a rhythm that increased with every second. Richard could hear Asbel's ragged breathing, hot against his ear, the only sound that was able to reach his mind under the thundering of his heartbeat.

Everything faded to only themselves, to the friction between their bodies, to the mumbled words of love whispered almost unconsciously. They repeated each other's names as if in a chant, their voices growing louder between every gasp. Faster, always faster, until there was nothing else in the world - nothing but them.

Finally, they slowed down, falling against the pillows in a tangle of limbs. Richard's heavy lids struggled to open, but he was rewarded with the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. Asbel's hand moved to rest over his cheek, and he leaned in for one last kiss before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

In all of Richard's being, there was warmth. And, if there were also tears, they were not born out of sorrow and regret - but of infinite, overwhelming happiness.