She is nervously pacing around her room, trying to get her hair to look just right but finding it hard since her hands are shaking like wilting leaves during an autumn storm. She has tried, to no avail, to tell herself repeatedly that she has nothing to be nervous about. She has had dinner with the van der Woodsens and Nate a million times.

Forgetting someone?

Alright, so maybe she does have a reason to be nervous, she decides, adjusting the belt around her waist. She can't help but wonder what is going to happen next, if she wants anything to happen. Not knowing is a little unnerving, but with the lack of structure in her life right now she assumes a confused heart fits right in.

She scrutinizes her appearance in the mirror with standards set high from years of self-assessment. The look she gives her own reflection resembles Eleanor's frown so much that was she to realize, she would never look at herself in a mirror again. She has left her hair down so that it is flowing in dark ringlets down her back. The headband is covered in sparkling navy and charcoal embroidery. The grey Ralph Laurensilk,sheath dressfits her perfectly, and the fuchsia coloured belt accentuates her waist. Putting a stray lock of hair back in its place, she comes to the verdict that she doesn't look half-bad.

That right there is one of the more telling differences between herself and her mother. Even though she might not realize it, she is much more willing to approve and grant someone a second chance. Perhaps even a third chance, if that is what it takes to keep the story going towards the happy ending she never ceases to strive for. When second chances haven't been an option, she has had to re-group and re-strategize. She has learned the hard way how to piece herself - anything - back together, as well as mastering the art of payback. Get whoever it is that has done wrong by you to suffer and pay for their sins, and then let it go. Piece yourself back together and then look ahead. Look towards bigger and better things, don't look back.

Only recently has she realized that letting go isn't always possible, that some things run in circles and no matter how fast or for how long a time you run - you end up in the same place. Inevitability runs in circles.

He nods at the headwaiter as the man points him in direction of their table. Serena has chosen a newly opened, Italian restaurant not far from his building, and he has to compliment her on her choice. The large room, decorated in rich colours, is dimly-lit and has an inviting atmosphere. The place reminds him of a restaurant he took Blair to in Rome all those years ago, and he can't help but allow a smirk to form on his lips at the memory of that particular evening.

The van der Woodsens and Nate are already at their table, all four of them greeting him happily, but carefully avoiding the acknowledgement of the reason they are all there. Just the way he wants it. He is talking to Eric about nothing in particular when Al walks through the door holding a hideous Nemo-the-fish-shaped balloon.

Al is all smiles as she walks through the restaurant and finally ends up in front of him. Eric is desperately trying to smother a laugh in the background, and he can feel Al shake with contained laughter as she hugs him in greeting.

"You can probably find a Chuck E. Cheese a few blocks from here." He points out, and Al can no longer keep from laughing out loud.

"You should have seen your face when I walked through the door, mate!" Al laughs. "Priceless. Don't you like your present?"

"If there is a cake with candles, I will wish for a safety pin…" He informs her dryly and earns himself a jokingly horrified gasp in response. Then he spots something behind her that causes his heart to skip a beat.

She looks amazing. Her petite form wrapped in grey silk, and that mass of shiny curls cascading down her back. His fingers twitch involuntarily in a sudden urge to run his fingers through the tumbling locks.

She stops right inside the front door, for a second overwhelmed by the whirlwind of nervous fluttering in the pit of her stomach.

As she walks towards the table where the others are waiting, she notices how similar the place is to a restaurant her and Chuck went to in Rome. A flush colours her cheeks as she remembers the…rushed dinner they had shared after she presented him with a rather x-rated gift shoved inside his breast pocket. Only the influence of Chuck Bass would ever evoke the idea in her to go commando with the sole intention to drive him crazy. It has been a long time since she thought about those times without scowling, and the pleasant realization gives her the extra courage she needs to keep her heart from jumping out of her chest.

"Blair!" Serena and Lily greet her in unison, and Nate sends a mischievous wink her way as she makes her round around the table to greet her extended family.

"It is so lovely to see you," Lily smiles, and hugs her tight, "It has been too long."

She smiles a genuine smile in return. What Lily might have lacked in presence and parental guidance when Serena and Eric were growing up, she makes up for in acceptance and unconditional love. Something that extends to her and the other 'kids' as well, and for that she will always love the older van der Woodsen.

"How is the Major?" She winks, referring to the war-veteran that Lily has been seeing for the last year.

"John is good." Lily smiles, a twinkle in her eyes that make her appear to be at least ten years younger.

She greets Eric with a hug, and offers Al a court nod and hesitant smile that the redhead returns full force.

"I thought Italian food was appropriate." Serena whispers conspiringly, as they embrace in a hug.

The next thing she knows, she finds herself face to face with Chuck, a sudden tension in the air that no-one around the table fails to notice.

"Great minds think alike."

Chuck raises an eyebrow suggestively, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, as he motions to the shirt vest he is wearing underneath his jacket that is close to tone-in-tone with her dress.

"I guess so." She smirks back, and he can almost hear the rest of the party breathe a sigh of relief at their friendly tone.

Once they are all seated the waiter arrives with their drinks and within the hour they are enjoying a delicious meal. The conversation is light hearted, everyone busy catching up. Almost everyone that is. He doesn't say much, he rarely does at these semi-official birthday dinners and everyone is used to it by now. Lily and the others are most likely relieved by the simple fact that he is eating and socializing instead of drinking himself into a stupor like he would have a few years ago. Blair isn't saying much either. She is seated between Eric and Serena across the table from where he is sitting himself with Al on one side and Lily on the other.

"Blair, how is the photographing coming?" Lily asks, her question earning Blair the full attention of everyone at the table.

Blair looks a little on edge from the older van der Woodsen's question, and shuffles some food around on her plate in an effort to stall her answer.

"You're a photographer?" Al interjects curiously, reaching out for her wine glass.

He is definitely listening now, remembering the camera she had been carrying around when they met in Central Park.

"It's just a pass-time." She finally replies, and he can tell that she is dying for a subject change. "I haven't really gotten much done since I…returned from Paris."

"She is really talented." Serena says to Al, shooting her best friend a look that tells her to stop being modest. "She took the photo hanging in my dining room."

"The black and white one?" Al raises an eyebrow inquisitively, then turning her attention to Blair. "That is an amazing photo, Blair."

He knows exactly what photo it is that Serena is referring to. He had been on her case about who the photographer was, wanting something like it to adorn the walls of the Palace's lobby. Serena had refused to tell him though, saying that the artist wasn't interested in publicity. Looking over to Blair, he can't help but wonder what else he has been missing out on. What else there is that he doesn't know about her.

She is uncomfortable with the turn of conversation, and sneakily manages to steer it in a different direction by bringing up the bridesmaids dresses. The reminder of her up-coming nuptials has Serena smiling even broader than earlier and the conversation shifts over to the wedding details. As Serena and Lily engage in a vivid discussion about centre pieces, Nate lets out a weary sigh that causes both Eric and Chuck to chuckle and give him looks telling the blond that he brought this on himself.

Pleased with the subject change she briefly looks over to Chuck, the sound of him laughing catching her attention. She is surprised when she finds that he is looking at her. He is still smirking and she finds herself doing the same.

"It is such a lovely night," Al sighs happily as they leave the restaurant later on. A mischievous spark in her eyes as she and Serena share a quick look.

"It is. Perfect for a walk." Serena agrees, "Eric, you're staying at mom's, right?"

"Yeah?" Eric nods in reply, obviously confused with his sister's sudden interest in his accommodations.

"Great, then the two of you can take the limo, right Chuck? You live less than fifteen minutes from here and you could use the exercise." Serena continues, hiding the grin on her face by facing Nate and picking some invisible dust particle off of his lapel. Chuck scoffs at her allegation but doesn't object.

"I can share a cab with you guys," Al proclaims, talking to Nate and Serena, and the blonde nods vigorously in agreement.

"Blair, dear?" Lily interrupts the conversation, looking over to Blair warmly. "You can ride in the limo with us."

"She is going in the other direction," Serena cuts in quickly, "Think about the environment mom, you don't want there to be an ozone hole above Manhattan because you have the limo drive all over town on a daily basis, do you?"

"Surely that is not something that you wish for?" Al agrees, and Serena is nearly pushing her mother towards the waiting limo. Lily is unable to do much except offering Blair an apologetic and utterly confused look.

Within the minute they find themselves alone on the sidewalk. The limo taking off down the street, and the cab door closing with a bang.

"They really need to work on the whole 'subtle' exits." He smirks, but it doesn't fully reach his eyes, the tension and nervousness from when she arrived to the restaurant earlier having returned full force.

"Oh my, I do believe we are heading in the same direction." She replies in feigned astonishment, and they get moving down the street.

The evening is unusually quiet for New York, the sidewalks nearly empty. People are either on their way home, or not on their way out just yet. Once they find themselves moving some of the tension eases off, and they soon walk side by side in a comfortable silence.

Unexpectedly, he causally slides her hand into his. She turns and gazes up at him in shock at the openly affectionate gesture, and he looks down at her - eyebrow raised - as if daring her to question his actions and asking for permission at the same time.

She consents without putting much thought into it, and intertwines her fingers with his.

They are right outside her building when she stops, tightening her grip of his hand in a silent plea for him to do the same. He does, and looks down at her, noticing the slight frown now on her forehead, the trembling of her lip.

"How do you do it?" She whispers, and all he wants to do in that second is make that look on her face disappear and never return.

"Do what?"

"How can you even look at me?" Her voice is close to breaking, and she swallows hard, looking down on their entwined fingers.

"I'm not sure." He admits, following her gaze down to where their hands are linked together. All he knows is that this feels right. Walking next to her in the warm, tranquil New York night and holding her hand feels right.

"Would you meet me at the Palace tomorrow night?" He asks her, "We should…talk."

"Yeah…" She agrees, sounding relieved and in less distress now. "…we should."

She looks over to the entrance of her building, taking a step back. Slowly she starts to untangle their fingers, but he tightens his grip and she looks up at him in confusion.

She begins to ease her fingers out of his hold, ignoring the part of her that is screaming like a petulant child in protest. When he only tightens his grip even more she looks up at him, opening her mouth to say something but then changing her mind.

He offers her a lazy smirk, and then slowly, hesitantly, lets go of her hand only to place his own on her cheek instead. Her breath catches in her throat, and the skin on her cheek is reveling in the warmth from his palm. For a moment she feels that he might kiss her. The idea has her lips tingling in silent anticipation and renders her insides to a whirlwind of mixed emotions. She finds herself struggling between the urge to lean into his touch, and the one to flinch and take a step back.

But he doesn't kiss her. Instead he softly brushes the pad of his thumb over her cheekbone, the rest of his fingers teasing the sensitive skin below her ear and jaw line. His dark eyes stay fixated on her the whole time.

"Goodnight Blair." He murmurs; his words as soft as his touch.

"Goodnight, Chuck. Happy Birthday."

He looks a little taken aback by her words, as if had he forgotten all about the day's significance.

"It was." He muses, before he turns around to leave, shoving his hands down his pockets. "Thank you."

tbc