The fluttering in her stomach is not of the nervous kind, but she still has a hard time keeping herself from pacing around the elevator on her way up to his penthouse. She hasn't been here since that first time two weeks ago when she showed up on his doorstep to…whatever it was, fuming in anger but aching for him all at once.

A lot of things have changed, she reminds herself, checking her reflection in the mirror to make sure she looks her best. A lot has changed and for the better.

The doors of the elevator open with a merry 'ding', and reveal the apartment on the other side of the stainless steel. The hallway opens up into the living room stretching out in front of her, a corridor to her right that leads to bedrooms and bathrooms. On the same level as the entrance, but to her left, is the kitchen area. It's not a huge place by UES standards, but it's spacious, modern and surprisingly home-y.

"Blair!" Chuck greets her, walking towards where she is standing from the back of the living room.

"Hey. This place looks great." she smiles, swallowing to rid herself of the sudden dryness in her throat from the sight of him. His arm around her waist sends a wave of heat through her body, and his cheek against hers does nothing to ease the feeling.

"You look great," he murmurs, his breath hot against her ear.

She is wearing red. He has always loved her in red, almost as much as with noting on at all. After pulling her close and telling her how good she looks, he has to force himself to let her go.

"I thought we could have dinner outside," he suggests, and gestures towards the door leading out to the terrace. The outdoor area is visible through a majority of the large windows in the living room, and stretches around two quarters of the penthouse. When she casually slides her hand in his as they walk through the living room area, he can feel his heart skip a beat.

"Wow," she breathes as they step out onto the terrace, "Chuck this is amazing."

The place is illuminated by hundreds of twinkling fairy lights wrapped around the terrace rail and in the small trees and plants adorning the space. The view of the city is spectacular in the dark, and there is a table set for two waiting for them.

"You won't get too cold? I could have the table moved inside."

"No!" She objects hastily, and then smiles, "This is perfect."

A uniform-clad caterer shows up with a tray holding flutes of champagne. They accept their drinks, and the man leans in to whisper something to Chuck. He nods in agreement to whatever it is the man is telling him, and then sends him off with a hefty tip, before returning his attention to her.

"Waldorf," he raises his class in salute, and she clinks her glass against his.

"Bass."

"I'm leaving for Beijing tomorrow."

They are midway through dinner accompanied by relaxed small talk. She distracts herself from her delicious meal to look at him. To her surprise she feels a little disappointed by this latest piece of information.

You're going to miss him.

"Because of the new deal?" She asks, piercing some pasta on her fork, and he nods in affirmation. She knows how hard he has been working when he hasn't been spending time with her, and almost feels guilty for keeping him from his work. "For how long?"

"A week. We leave at lunch tomorrow."

"Tell me about the deal?"

"It's not really that interesting," he objects apologetically, taking a sip from his wine glass.

"Tell me," she repeats calmly, "I want to know about it."

I want to know everything about you.

He acts upon her request, and tells her all about the deal he recently signed with his new Chinese investors. She listens carefully, offering him a comment or smile every now and then, but mostly focusing on him as he talks. His face light up, his gestures become more vivid and the tone of his voice changes. Suddenly an image of a 16 year-old Chuck showing off Victrola resurfaces in her mind, and she smiles at the memory. He is good at this, she realizes, just like she had known he would be.

"This is so good." She sighs with her eyes closed, putting another fork of tiramisu in her mouth. Opening her eyes again she finds a spellbound look on his face and sends him a questioning look. "What?"

"Dance with me."

"There's no music, Chuck." She replies, and he only raises an eyebrow at her in challenge, and then walks over to a small table just outside the door. Seconds later music fills the air around them from speakers hidden somewhere on the terrace.

"Dance with me." He repeats, returning to the table and extending his hand to her.

This time she puts her hand in his and allows him to pull her close. They dance, swaying leisurely back and forth to the music, and she loses all track of time. The only thing she can focus on is the feeling of having him close; his hand at the small of her back, his heart beating against her chest. When he lets go of her hand, and cradles her head instead, she pulls her head back to look at him. There is intentness burning in his eyes, and his heated gaze sets a fire ablaze in her gut.

When their lips meet it's tantalizingly slow and enticing. Breathing a sigh of relief and bliss, she tilts her head to allow him better access and her hand's grip on his shoulder tightens. Without the anger and the fiery passion there as a shield protecting her heart, she can feel herself slowly falling, tumbling over the edge. Kissing him feels like coming home, it is a paradox; familiar and safe, alluring and dangerous. It's terrifying.

The content, pleased breath escaping her lips is like the first drops of rain in a desert. He wants more, needs more. Needs to make her his in the way he never fully stopped belonging to her. They way he wants her to never have stopped belonging to him. When she angles her head in silent welcome, he deepens the kiss, coaxing her mouth open with his tongue. He can feel a fire starting to glow in the pit of his stomach, and his hands start a voyage of familiar territory. The whimper escaping her lips is as effective as hitting a light switch inside his head, tempting him to take the last step off the cliff and out into thin air. Then suddenly she pulls back and breaks off the kiss.

"Chuck," She breathes, her hand still clutching his shoulder so tight her fingernails are bound to leave marks in his skin.

He rests his forehead against hers and briefly closes his eyes, doesn't want to hear what comes next. Bracing himself for the inevitable, he then opens his eyes and meets her gaze. Her cheeks are flushed and her lips are swollen, but there is lucidity in her eyes that he prefers to ignore.

"We can't do this." She continues, but her fingers dig into his shoulder as if to tell him not to believe her, and he doesn't want to listen either.

"But we do it so well," he drawls, and before she knows it his lips are on hers again.

Her body's reaction is instant and complying, but her mind has been harshly brought out of blissful nothingness and she can't let it go.

"No." She forces herself to break off the kiss once again and step back, even though her body is tingling and aching for his touch, "Chuck, we have to stop. It's too soon."

"Why?" There is a hint of steel in his eyes now, and he pulls a hand through his hair exasperatedly. "Don't you want this?

"What exactly is 'this'?"

She doesn't answer his question, but throws one right back at him. Rejection is creeping up on him like a cold, steel chain around his chest, pinning him to the edge he was about to leap off of moments ago.

"Do we have to start analyzing things now?"

"Yes!" She snaps. There is a tremor in her voice that wasn't there before, and she is running her hands up and down her arms as if she is suddenly freezing cold. "I need to know, Chuck. What are we doing? What is this?"

"I don't know!" He bites back. "Can't we just let it happen?"

"No!"

"Why the hell not?"

Her whole posture changes then, deflates like a child's balloon pricked by a pin. "Because I have nothing left!"

Her last argument puzzles him, and when a tear makes its way down her cheek he is horrified, guilt washing over him in waves. He steps closer to reach out and pull her into his arms, but she takes a step back. Away from him. The chain around his chest tightens its grip and makes it hard to breathe.

"You all have lives. You have jobs, things to do and stuff going on," She explains and determinately wipes the tears off her face. "My life is in shambles. This," she motions the space between the two of them, "is the only real thing in my life right now. I need to know what it is I'm getting myself into, because if we mess this up…I'm not sure I could pick up the pieces again."

Her explanation makes him want to whack himself over the head with something blunt and heavy, because it all makes so much sense. Her return and this thing between them have turned everything upside down for him too. Shaken his uncomplicated and easy-going existence like a child shakes a rattle.

There is still a part of him that reacts to trouble and feelings and unknown territory by going back to the basics and being 'Chuck Bass'. It's the role he knows by heart from years of experience; it takes no afterthought, no questioning your decisions, no thinking about your…feelings. 'Chuck Bass' focuses on the simple things in life; women, booze and more women. Though she is not just any random date, never have and never will be. And the two of them have never been uncomplicated and simple, far from it. But he doesn't want uncomplicated when she is around, and he can't let 'Chuck Bass' call the shots this time.

"You're right," he agrees, "We need to figure this out."

Relief washes over her features and he pulls her close, feeling the steel chain loosen its suffocating embrace around his chest.

"Thank you," She whispers, and kisses him softly. His response is immediate and hungry and when they finally break apart moments later they are both breathing heavily.

"Thank you?" He is the first to recover, eyes glittering in amusement, "You're thanking me for not sleeping with you? Now that is a serious punch to a man's ego, Waldorf."

She lets out a breathy laugh, "Well, we both know that if we had, you would have been the one thanking me."

tbc