Previously…

I shook my head, "Give me time Jasper. It's a lot to take in." He grabbed my face, "Anything you need." His lips were hard and unyielding as they crushed mine. My mind was trying to dismiss the fact that I asked this vampire to remove his shirt and practically felt him up as he stood there. I had some nerve because this wasn't like me at all.

Here I stood in this room, alone with him moving to press me against the wall. I didn't care. Nothing was clear except I needed to be here, with him just like this. I grabbed his hair holding him in place. I would live to regret this, I can't take this back and I should be pushing him away but sadly as much as I wanted to hate him, hate this. My heart was beginning to betray me.

I felt his cool hands caress my body like an old lover. He seemed so familiar and yet so strange. I was uncertain to how far I would let this go. Would he back off? Would I? He finally leaned his forehead against mine fighting for unnecessary breath.

"We need to stop we are not ready for this."

I ran my hand slowly down his chest still fascinated by the scars. He was insanely beautiful and I despised my self for thinking so. He lifted my chin, "What is it?"

"Do you always produce venom?"

He looked uncertain, "What do you mean by always?"

I sighed making sure to word my question properly. "I know you drain blood, does venom enter then? Is it only when you want to turn someone or… do you choose to release it, like a conscious decision?"

"I am afraid I have no choice, if I bite something the venom is always injected. It doesn't matter if I am feeding or turning someone, not that I ever have. Carlisle has and from what he has explained there is little difference. Why do you ask?"

"I just wondered." I slid out of his strong arms and moved to lean on the French door looking out. It wasn't long before I felt his hands on my waist from behind.

"You can't run from me any more than you can run from your heart. I don't know how this happened. Alice saw it, I tried to fight it. I don't know what to do anymore, I can't seem to stay away and I don't really want to."

"I just don't understand, I am different from Tillie you know."

"In what way?" Reaching back I pulled his face closer to my neck, this was a very dangerous game I was playing. "If I loved you, I wouldn't stop you. I would want to stay with you." There weren't many thoughts in my mind right now except please take more clothes off. He is far too sexy for his own good. I can only imagine…ok mind shut off now, he can feel everything you are feeling.

His lips grazed my neck, "Would you? I can arrange that." My eyes fell closed as I leaned into him, his cool breath fanning my exposed neck. His hands slid under the front of my sweater, this time I didn't jump. The small circular caresses were driving me mad. I found myself pressing into him harder. I could feel his hard body against mine and was shocked at certain things I felt. I shouldn't be he's a vampire he still gets affected by females.

He groaned deeply releasing me and flying across the room. I turned, "Are you ok?"

His eyes were dark and glazed. His breathing was coming in shallow pants. "I am not that strong. Your feelings are so intense." He admitted gripping the chair he now sat in. I moved closer concerned, "My blood?"

"No, although blood is always tempting it is not what I crave from you."

"I don't under….." I trailed off silent suddenly realizing what he meant.

"Oh."

He attempted a warm smile. "I am sorry, that was rude of me. I don't intend to have the reactions I do, it just seems to happen around you."

"I am glad you react that way." I realized by his smirk what I said and blushed, "That just sounded so awful." I had to turn away. Way to go Gabby.

"Gabby, come here."

I met his eyes humiliated and moved closer. He pulled me into his lap. "I want this to mean something. I know right now it is new and confusing. I don't want to do something we will both regret. It would be so easy to get lost in one another, but it wouldn't be the right time. It would only push you away."

"How do you know how I will react?" I was slightly offended, I hate when people assume things. Know it all vampire.

"Ok so I don't, you tell me then." He said sarcastically. I knew he was right. I just wanted to make a point. A point I couldn't win. When I didn't speak he sighed pulling my head against his chest.

"This would be your first time, it should be special." I didn't ask how he knew, he knew everything anyway. He probably could feel my nervousness, though at the time I really didn't care. He chuckled, "You're getting frustrated with me. I can simply feel your innocence. It's something you unknowingly put off. I find it very sweet."

"Great, that will attract the men." I snorted. He looked down at me, "I hope not, I would prefer to be the one and only." I pulled up standing, "You know, I realize you vampires have a tendency to pull people in. I should probably go. I don't know how I really feel. Do I feel it naturally or is it simply because you are what you are?"

"I can't answer that." He said honestly. "I do know I am not trying to persuade you either way. I want you to feel your humanity, your emotions. It is a precious gift."

"You don't feel the same?"

"Sure I do, but it's harder for me. Humanity is something we all lost long ago. We are no longer driven by human tendencies. We have to force ourselves to do certain things."

"Like love?" I asked wondering how he would answer. He stood stroking my arm, "I feel love, but it is so much more intense. Humans take it for granted." I smiled feeling his hand slip around mine. "I should take you home." He stopped off at his room and slipped on a button down shirt and then we headed out.

I followed him out saying a polite goodbye to his family. This was the first time I had seen Bella, Edward's wife as well. She was stunning. It seemed she was going to college. She was newer to the family and had not been around as long as the others. She actually wanted to learn all of these new things. I guess when you have forever what's not to learn?"

I wanted to ask how she was changed, but I didn't. I figured they would tell me if they wanted to. The ride home was quiet. I felt him glancing at me occasionally, but I didn't look back. I really had to wonder, did I feel like this inside or was there other influences?

He shut off the car in the driveway. "I am glad you came Gabby, thank you."

"You're welcome. It was nice to get a few answers."

He nodded in understanding. I didn't want to move, I could actually feel the tension in the car and it was constantly pulling me toward him. I truly hated that. I wanted to hate him and he was making it all but impossible. I hate hormones!

I felt his hand on my knee, "Gabby, you should go. If you stay…"

I turned to meet his eyes, they were so dark. I had seen them dark before, but something in them told me this was not a good time to test him. He was near breaking. His hands now gripped the steering wheel tightly. I couldn't help it as if own its own accord my body leaned over to kiss his cheek. I slowly leaned back only to be grabbed into a strong grip. I was suddenly pulled across the seat and into his lap.

His hands buried into my hair roughly as his lips devoured mine. To say it was hot could not even touch this moment, scorching was more like it. I have never felt like this, never lost control like this. Why now? Why with him? I have never felt this confused nor have I been so forward. I knew this was wrong, so very wrong.

Reaching down I pulled the lever causing his seat to fall back. He growled pulling me harder onto him. His cool skin did nothing to alleviate this burning I felt inside. Gripping the front of his shirt I ripped it open, don't ask me how. I have no idea where I got the strength. It's actually a little embarrassing. My mind was still racing telling me this was way too fast, and it was wrong, he was a vampire.

His head fell back as my lips trailed down his chest. "God, we can't do this….please we have to stop. Not like this." He begged all the while pulling me closer, clinching and unclenching my sweater. My lips moved to trace the sharp line of his jaw. I bit his ear, "Do you really want me to stop?"

He gripped my hair hard jerking my head back. It hurt but I didn't mind, I was so turned on at the moment he could have tossed me against the house and I wouldn't have cared. His eyes bore into mine, "I don't know what this is. I know it isn't natural, I've never…Gabby I want to do this. It's way too fast, it's…"

He stopped breathing deeply, "I don't know what it would do to you."

"What do you mean? Wasn't Bella human once too?"

"Yes, but things happened. She was changed before Edward ever made love to her. This is different, I could hurt you. I could lose control, who knows what my venom could do to you."

"If you don't bite me then how…" I saw his face and blushed looking down, "Oh. Well there is protection."

"Wouldn't work, need I explain why?" I smirked, "Lethal are you?"

"In more ways than you know."

He sighed brushing the hair back from my shoulders, "You should go."

"You're coming over for dinner tomorrow huh? How are you going to pass that off?" I asked curious how he would not eat in front of my mom.

He winked, "Family secret." His finger trailed over my necklace gently. "One I am sure you will know all about some day." The look on his face was nostalgic. I opened the door and slipped out feeling him behind me. He raised his seat and smiled, "So, I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Definitely." He caressed my face and kissed me softly. I inhaled his addictive sent. I guess it was another attractant, but I could still stand here and smell him all day.

"This is all moving so fast." I whispered mainly to myself. I knew he heard me. He smirked and winked, "See you beautiful."

I watched him pull away and walked in the house. Mom turned, "Hey sweetie, did you forget you were having company tonight?"

"What?"

I looked to the stairs to see Melanie. Oh Crap! She smiled knowingly and I knew she had seen everything. I smiled and passed her walking up the stairs to my room. She followed shutting my door as fast as her little hands could.

"Ok now what was that in the drive way? I mean you practically attacked the boy! I thought you were going to go at it right there. I thought you didn't like him? No wonder you have been avoiding me."

I sat down on my bed, "I don't know what it is Mel. I can't explain, I want so bad to hate him."

She sat beside me. Mel always stood by me. It was just how we were. I never really questioned her dates and she never questioned mine, or lack thereof. I shook my head, "It's almost an attraction I can't fight. I've never felt any thing like it. I want to get away from him and at the same time I want to lose my self in his arms."

She giggled, "I think it's sweet. I mean he is a hottie."

I hated that word. She smiled wider, "Maybe you can hook me up with Edward."

"I would love to grant your ultimate fantasy, but he has a long term girlfriend. She wouldn't approve."

"I have never seen her. He could be lying you know." She said with a shrug. I laughed, "He could, but I met her and he isn't. She seems nice." Melanie played with her polished nails, "Well is she pretty?"

"Yes, she is beautiful."

"Figures." She groaned. I laughed pushing her with my shoulder, "Hey so are you, it just so happens Edward is taken. You'll find someone else."

"I did actually, his name is Demetrius. I know odd name like out of the old days or something, but he is so cute. I met him at the diner, he's a little older 20. I figure that's not so bad, I am 18 and I graduate this year."

"I am glad I thought you and….oh never mind you switch guys too fast for me."

She smiled at me, "I know this one is different. He looks at me like I am the most beautiful thing in the world. He even has manners, opens the door and stuff. I think you would like him."

"I'll have to meet him." I figured this guy was definitely worth checking out, especially if my best fried liked him so much.

'What about tonight?"

"Wait, I just got home." I said with a frown, I really didn't want to go out again tonight. She grabbed my hands bouncing, "Oh please I promised him I would sneak out and meet him. I know you love sneaking out."

"Fine." I really didn't want to, but I didn't want her to get herself into trouble. She usually did. We waited until the cover of night before we were out my window. We walked down the street to a park, I didn't really like being alone with her and some strange guy in a dark park. It didn't make sense.

"Why here?"

"He's going to meet us here and drive us to eat."

"This late?" I asked suspiciously.

"Well yeah, I mean what else is there to do? He knew you were coming with me." I didn't like this at all. I felt like I was being watched and turned. I couldn't see anyone but I knew they were there.

"There he is!" Mel yelled happily running into his arms. He was tall, his hair dark. That wasn't what struck me. It was the paleness of his arms that looked almost blue in the moonlight. She pulled him closer, "Gabby this is Demetrius."

I felt my heart race, this was no normal guy and he certainly wasn't 20. I noticed he looked to my chest then back up to meet my eyes. His iris was surrounded by burgundy, and I knew what this meant. He sensed my unease and smiled, "Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, you too." I saw the look Melanie shot me, but I chose to ignore it. I knew this man was not safe. I felt it.

Melanie, why don't you run to the store and grab us a coke?" I could see the store from here, it wasn't far at all. He raised a curious eyebrow and took out his wallet. "Yes sweetheart that would be wonderful. I can get to know your friend here."

"Ok." She shrugged. He tilted his head and kissed her lightly before she turned and fluttered off. He waited until she was out of hearing range and turned to me, "Who are you?"

"I am Gabby, she told you."

He moved closer, "You sure that was a good thing to do? You know what I am, what if I were to decide to end your life?"

I knew he would know that I knew what he was. They always did. He stepped even closer still. "Such a beautiful woman you are. Your eyes are like pools of infinity, wisdom and life. I froze when he reached up to stroke my cheek, "So much like her."

My heart jumped and I began to step back away from him. He grinned, "Now, now don't run from me. I won't hurt you. I just want to talk my precious orchid."

"I am sure you do, after you eat me for desert."

"Tisk, tisk are you always so rude? I never mentioned eating you. Turning you is another subject all together. You should never jump to conclusions."

"I want you to stay away from Melanie, she's a good girl."

"Why should I be threatened by you?" I stepped back again and my necklace caught the light. He looked at it for a moment. "Why do you wear their crest?"

"I have no idea what you mean." I knew he would know I was lying, but I figure I could still try. He obviously knew who they were, that would mean the Cullen's have quite the reputation. I shouldn't be surprised Grans never did anything half way. He glanced behind me and before I knew it I was being pushed behind Jasper's arm.

"She is protected, you will not touch her." He snapped angry. Demetrius laughed, "Of coarse I wouldn't, but her friend…"

"Is off limits too, no hunting here, you know better."

"Jasper, you have gotten quite annoying in your old age." He teased. Jasper growled and his smile faded, "And more deadly I hear."

"I have always been deadly, or did you forget?"

He shrugged, "I should head out, tell your little human friend it was nice knowing her. I'll have to find another toy."

"Not here."

"Oh come now Jasper." He tried to plead. Hearing another growl Gabby looked behind her, Emmett and Carlisle were close by. Edward was more the other direction but she knew he could get there in a flash. Carlisle stepped forward, "We don't wish to fight Demetrius we never have. This is simply our home and we would like to remain anonymous."

"Jasper looked and whispered to Gabby, "She's coming back."

"Who's with her?"

"Alice."

Demetrius knew this was not a good time to tempt fate so he turned, "See you later my animal loving friends."

"Wait." I pleaded trying to walk around Jasper, but Carlisle grabbed my arm. I glanced at him but continued to speak, "My sister, why?"

"It was easy, ask Carlisle. He knows." I frowned, "Why not me? You had me too." He took a deep breath, "I couldn't." He didn't look back and was quickly out of sight. Melanie walked up looking oddly, "Where did he go?"

"He decided it was best to leave you alone. He's not the nicest person." I said softly. She wanted to know why I am sure, but her eyes were on the handsome men before her. Edward smiled, "Come on me and Emmett can drop you off."

She looked shocked but gladly excepted. I shook my head, "She will really crush on him now." Jasper chuckled. I turned to Carlisle who had let go of my arm, "Will you go for a walk with me?" I asked carefully.

He looked at Jasper a moment then nodded extending his hand. Jasper smiled kissing my head, "See you in a little while."

I took his hand and fell into step beside him. "You know a lot more than you are saying don't you?" I asked watching his face. He sighed closing his eyes for a moment. "I do."

"Tell me please, he killed my sister."

"I know." He replied sadly. I pulled my hand loose, "I don't want you to know, I want to know why? Why is my sister dead? Why did he spare me? Why do you look at me the way you are now?"

He swallowed hard looking out at the trees. "You are so much like her, I am sorry. It is difficult for me."

"Is it because you loved her?"

"Yes, they were some wonderful memories and you bring them crashing back. It's almost as if…" He shook his head as if to clear it and smiled, "I think Jasper is waiting."

"You didn't tell me anything."

"I will, give me time. Right now it is impossible for me to do so." I couldn't understand what he meant until his hand stroked my cheek lovingly. I knew then, he see's Tillie when he looks at me. He was fighting with emotions that he still felt. He seemed nice enough, but I wasn't my grandmother and I could never return the feelings he once felt for her.

I guess he knew I was confused and he smiled, "He loved your grandmother as I did. She did not return his love. He resented me for it and punished everyone around her that he could. Your sister was one example, you on the other hand look so much like her I think he was overwhelmed."

"Thanks for being honest."

"Gabby she was a wonderful woman, so loving. She dreamed of you, that is one reason we never moved past more than what we were. She believed so strongly in dreams. She said I would find another and I did. She also said we would forever be intertwined. It looks as if that is so. It would seem from Alice you and Jasper will be quite the couple."

"Scary thought."

"Don't be scared, welcome it. Love is a wonderful feeling. Embrace your passion, take back your life and stop hiding in the past. Your future has yet to unfold."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Now, my son is waiting."

I turned seeing Jasper leisurely leaning on a tree. I realize Edward is handsome, but damn this guy makes sexy a word unto itself. The way he smirks as he leans upon the tree, the way his eyes twinkle. Did I mention they guy can wear jeans like….mmmmm and he has a butt you could bounce quarters off of.

Quarters? Really I am a pervert now. Hearing a snicker I turned seeing Edward and Emmett were back and happily I flipped them off. They laughed, even Jasper chuckled.

"You need to get home darlin', it's late."

"You'll walk with me?"

"Anywhere."