April 3, 1999 10:00 AM

It has been two weeks since our last mission. My first mission. Since I live in forest now, I decided I should acquire a lot of forest animals. I also mastered the Frolis Maneuver. I acquired a composite human morph from Jake, Rachel, Marco, and Cassie's DNA. Aximili had done the same a year ago, so I basically looked like his brother. I concentrated on acquiring Jake's height and broadness, Rachel and Marco's conventional beauty, and Cassie and Marco's skin tone. I was tall, dark, and handsome.

I also helped Aximili build his scoop. Well, scoop/human dwelling as Aximili calls it. We brought in a bed for me, litter box for Megadeth, TV with free cable, computer, a lot of human stuff.

Aximili loves TV. Almost to the point of an obsession. It's kind of scary. He keeps repeating commercial slogans. It's very annoying. Worst of all, Tobias uses it to watch The Young and the Restless.

I hate soaps.

So, afternoons I spent trying to acquire forest animals. I used to use my lion morph, but then I freaked out a hunter. Since then, I used a wolf morph I acquired.

But this was Saturday morning. Which meant one thing was on my mind.

Cartoons.

Pokémon? Aximili asked me.

"Crap."

Johnny Bravo?

"Crap."

Pepper Ann?

"Major-crap!"

Rugrats?

"Ooh. Turn it up."

It was a classic. Tommy was in day-care. They see it of course like a prison. It was one of my favorites. And of course, Tobias ruined it.

David?

"Yes?"

We need to see you.

"What the hell for?"

Just come.

You know that feeling like you did something wrong, but you don't know what. I hate that. I was flying to Tobias' meadow. I knew the others were waiting for me. We flew over a family having a picnic.

That's nice. Isn't it? Kids spending time with their families. Tobias wondered aloud.

Is this why I had to come down here? Is this why I had to miss my fucking cartoons? Because of your obsession with Kodak moments?

Tobias didn't answer as we arrived at his meadow. Jake, Rachel, and Marco were waiting for me.

Cassie wasn't there. I demorphed.

"Hello, David." Jake greeted.

"Hello, dear."

"You mind explaining what this is?" Jake said handing me a photograph. The photograph was of my father. He was in a wheel chair. He also had large bandages on his face.

"This is a photograph. Using a camera, when light interacts with–"

"What it's of, smartass." Marco said. "That's your father isn't it?"

"How'd you get this?" I asked ignoring him.

"We follow known controllers, David. It's what we do." By 'we' he meant 'Tobias'. I shot him a look of betrayal.

What would you have me do, David? Tobias protested. If you're attacking Yeerks on your own, we all need to know about it.

"This is your father, isn't it?" Jake asked before Tobias was done speaking. Tobias must have kept his comment private.

"In a way."

"'In a way'?"

"Just like in a way, that is your mother, Marco. Or your brother, Jake."

"Did you do this to him?"

"It, Jake. Yes, I did that to it."

"He's still your father, you psycho!" Rachel yelled at me.

I laughed slightly, then held up an imaginary phone receiver. I pretended to dial. "Hello, Kettle? This is Pot. You're black."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, you are one to talk. Tobias is kind, but Aximili gives rather candid and unbiased reports of your past deeds." Which of course, was slightly untrue. Everyone has bias, but relatively, Aximili was unbiased in his reports.

"So?"

"I think you're a penis short of Attila the Hun. Tobias told me that your relationship with your father isn't that great."

"He's away a lot. On a different coast. Our relationship is just fine!" Rachel yelled defensively.

"You're a textbook nymphomaniac."

"EXCUSE ME??!"

"Yeah. But, instead of sex, you have violence. Which I guess is prudence on your part. The latter has a better chance of killing you, albeit slightly, but it will do it faster."

Rachel face went into several contortions of anger, surprise, and rage, at the end of which she just sat down and seethed. Jake looked furious at me. Marco tried to be mad at me, but he was too busy trying not to laugh.

I didn't think it was so funny.

Neither did Jake. "Lashing out us and your parents is not going to improve your station in life. Why'd you do it?"

"What?"

"I want to know why you did it." Jake said. "Look at me, mister."

FLASH!

I'm seven years old again.

"Look at me, mister." My father said. "Why did you take those cookies? Why did you take the cookies that were supposed to be for the three of us plus your aunt, uncle, and little cousins."

"Well . . . . I . . ." I said looking at the ground.

"Look at me." My father said lifting my chin up so I looked into his eyes.

"I . . ."

"What?"

"David Hunting. Civilian. Social Security Number 326-07-6755" I said turning my face from him.

"You're not a prisoner of war, David!" My father yelled in his angry/exasperated tone. The tone he uses when I turn his military protocols against him.

"David Hunting. Civilian. Social Security Number 326-07-6755"

"You're confined to quarters until further notice. Go."

I went to room and sat down on my bed with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle sheets. "Why can't you say 'Go to your room' like a normal parent?!" I shouted at no one.

"Well?"

"What?" I asked, disoriented.

"Why did you do it?!" Jake, not my father, demanded.

"Leave me alone."

"Why?"

"I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW WHY I FUCKING DID IT, OKAY?!!!"

They just kind of stared at me.

"I want to talk to Cassie."

"Hmph! I'm sure." Marco blurted.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I yelled as I shot a look at Marco. Did he suspect . . . ? Nah, how could he? I never show any hint around them. He can't possibly know that I'm in love with her.

I looked at Jake. He shoot an equally suspicious look at Marco, then glanced it over to me.

"I'm out." I simply said as I left.

"Come back here." Jake said as he grabbed my arm. But my arm shriveled and shrank out of his grip. My other arm also shrank. My wings popped out and knocked Jake on his ass. Beak. Talons. Feathers. When I was fully eagle, I took off. I headed for Cassie's barn.

Let him be. He just wants to talk with her. I heard Tobias say. He's just hoping she'll understand him. He isn't the only one who goes to her for solace.

They were talking about me. Tobias was still letting me hear their part of the conversation.

So does Ax, Jake. Tobias said in reply to something. Are going to suspect him too?

FLASH!

"How'd it go?" Stephanie asked me.

"The usual."

"Ooh. That bad, huh? What did he say?"

"'What do you mean you're going quit ROTC?' 'It's good for you, boy.' 'Teach you some discipline!'"

"Is that bad? It's the same thing your Karate Senser says."

"I think you mean, Sensei, and yes. But Sensei says discipline comes from within. The Rot-c's on the other hand would rather that discipline be forced feed to them in the form of some oppressive authority structure."

"Is that all?" Stephanie says, not really buying my bullshit.

I sighed in resignation. "To tell you the truth, I don't know why I did it. It just felt like something I had to do. I don't understand it myself."

"That's okay. I understand."

"You do?" I said, sidling up to her.

"Yes, you really don't like having a general for a father."

"What?!" I said surprised. "He's not a general, he's an agent."

"He was a general before he was an agent, right?"

I was getting flustered. She was accusing me of not loving my father, just because he was military. "What are you getting at?"

"David, I know you love your father."

"Of course, I do. I'm Irish Catholic."

"But I don't think you like him very much."

Talk about your splash of cold water. "How is it you know so much about me?"

"Because I love you."

"I thought it was because you're Sigmund Freud."

"Actually, I think I'm more like Carl Jung." She said pronouncing Jung like it looks.

"It's pronounced 'Yun'"

"Smarty-pants."

I couldn't talk to Stephanie. So I called on Cassie.

Cassie? I called out as I landed.

"It's safe, David. The barn's empty."

I demorphed and walked in.

"What's wrong?"

"Czar Berenson is after me again."

"He justs wants to know why you did it, David." Cassie said, nonchalantly as she bandaged a goose.

"Aw, fuck. You've seen it too?"

"You put him in a wheelchair. He's missing half his face. Why would you do that to your father?"

"I did it to a Yeerk."

"You did it to your father. Why would you do it to anyone, let alone your father?"

And there it was. The source of all my confusion.

"I don't know why I did it. It just felt like something I had to do. I admit, what I did was a little . . ."

"Unfeeling and cruel?" Cassie supplied.

"Oh, thank you." I said sarcastically.

Cassie threw down the bandage she was working on. "David, I'm just trying to understand you, that's all. I mean, you seem to be a nice guy in war you didn't want to be a part of, but then you do something like this. I don't get it, David. What's going on in your head?" she said, touching my head.

"What do think? What do your instincts tell you?"

"I think you have some issues with your father. It's almost like . . ."

"I hate him?"

She got that sympathetic look in her eyes again. "You know you don't hate him, David. But I do think you have some issues that you need to work out with him. And now, because of the Yeerk . . ."

"Covar One-Nine-Nine."

"You got his name?"

"Yeah."

"Well, because of Covar, you can't work out those issues. It's almost like he died." She said. "That's why you had to get his name. You wanted to know the name of the person who 'killed' your father. That's why you want to kill Visser Three."

The feeling of cold water again. Déjà vu. "How is it that you know so much about me?"

Cassie just shrugged her shoulders. "Marco says I'm Sigmund Freud."

"Not Carl Jung?"

"I thought it was Carl Jung."

"It's pronounced Jung."

"Well aren't you the smart-alec." She said playfully hitting me.

I grabbed her arm and kissed her.

She didn't exactly kiss me back, but she didn't pull away either.

I let go, and she looked at me with shock and worry in her eyes. Not exactly the expression I was looking for. She fidgeted with her hands. Then left. "I have to go." She simply said. I watched her walk back into her house.

I leaned against the wall and slid down. "What the fuck am I doing?" I muttered. I looked to my right and noticed a raccoon staring at me.

"What are you looking at?" I asked him.

A very confused young boy. Said a voice deep in my head. And outside my head. And everywhere at once. And no where at once. Well, if I wasn't confused, I sure was now.

"What the hell??"

Which confuses me, because I'm supposed to be looking at a rat.

"Who are you calling 'rat'?! Oversized, talking rodent!"

Ha Ha Ha Ha. Do you really think I am mearly a raccoon who can speak? The raccoon said as it walked through the cage bars. I am much more as you will soon see. As your friends already know.

"Who are you?" I asked.

The raccon changed form. It appeared as a he. He became human-sized and human-shaped. He seemed to be wearing a suit of steel armor. He wore no helmet. Only a crystal headband. He had white hair with a young face. Like my face.

He spoke with a human voice. "I am Ellimist."