Izzie opened her eyes and blinked. She instantly recognized her surroundings. She was at Seattle Grace, she was a patient. She tried to move, to sit up but her whole body ached. "Alex? Alex?" she immediately began calling. She heard someone in the room move and then Meredith was standing beside her. Meredith adjusted her bed so she was sitting up.
"Where's Alex?" She asked looking straight at Meredith. She noticed Meredith looked tired, her eyes were red and blood shot. "Meredith, where is he?"
"Iz," Meredith sat down on her bed and placed her hand over hers. "Do you remember what happened?"
"Yes." She closed her eyes for just a second and an image of the accident came to her head. In the image Alex was telling her he loved her and everything would be okay. "We were in an accident. They took him first. Where is he? Is he going to be okay?"
"Iz," Meredith moved closer to her and squeezed her hand tighter. She didn't want to do this. She didn't want to be the one to tell Izzie, Alex was dead. But she had to tell her, she had to know. "Alex's injuries were very bad. We did everything we could but we couldn't save him."
The words had come out of Meredith's mouth but Izzie wasn't sure she'd heard them right. She felt Meredith move closer to her.
"Izzie." Meredith said waiting for her to react. "I'm so sorry." And then it hit. Izzie felt like she was imploding.
"No. No." She began saying over and over. She didn't understand what she was hearing; she didn't want to believe it. "Where is he?" she said again. "Where is he? I have to see him." She began pulling at her IV line and tried to climb out of the bed but Meredith stopped her. She grabbed hold of her and gently pushed her back down.
"You need to stay in bed." Meredith said but Izzie didn't want to here it.
"No. I need to see him." She tried to climb out of the bed again but someone had put the side rail up and she couldn't work out how to put it down. "I need to see him." She started crying.
Meredith watched as Izzie began to unravel. It made her feel sick and useless. She was in so much pain and there was little she could do about it. "Iz, stop, stop." She said peeling Izzie's hand from the rail and lowering it. "I'll take you to see him. Just let me get you a wheelchair."
"No. I can walk." She swung her legs around and sat on the edge of the bed. She grabbed hold of Meredith's shoulder and used it to push herself up. She stood by the edge of the bed. She wasn't nearly as steady as she though she would be. She felt dizzy and lightheaded. She gripped tighter to Meredith and tried to steady herself.
"Iz you don't have to do this. Let me get you a wheelchair."
"No. I want to walk." She took a few steps forward and then a few more. She walked to the door and stopped. "Where is he?" Said holding onto the door frame for balance. "I need to see him."
"He's down stairs."Meredith said walking forward. "I'll take you to him." She tried to put her arm around Izzie but she was already walking down the corridor.
Izzie walked down the corridors of the hospital as fast as she could. She needed to get to Alex. She needed to see him. She wasn't going to believe what Meredith was telling her until she saw it for herself. Alex couldn't be dead she kept telling herself. He was strong, he wouldn't give up, he wouldn't leave her.
She reached the elevator and hit the button. She began walking around in small circles. Meredith came up behind her. "Izzie you need to slow down." She told her but she couldn't slow down, not yet.
The elevator arrived and they both walked inside. Meredith pressed the button for the basement and then they both stood there. Izzie was starting to shake again. Meredith moved closer to her and she stepped further away. The elevator reached the basement and the doors opened. Meredith stepped out but Izzie just stood there.
She didn't want to move, she couldn't move, she was frozen. They were at the basement. They were going to the morgue. She wanted to see Alex, she needed to see Alex but she didn't want to see him in the morgue. She didn't want him to be dead.
"Iz," Meredith stepped back inside the elevator. She gently put her arm around Izzie's back and this time Izzie didn't push her away. "You don't have to do this now."
"Yes I do." She whispered very quietly and she began walking slowly forward. Every step forward was painful, she felt tears begin to well up in her eyes. She thought she knew exactly what she was going to see. She was trying to mentally brace herself for what she was going to see but no amount of preparation could have ever prepared her.
Izzie waited outside while Meredith talked to the men inside. They were organizing for his body to be laid out for her. Tears were already trickling down her face. She was trying to control herself but it was a futile task.
"We're ready." Meredith said walking out of the room. Izzie stood up and began walking forward. She followed Meredith inside and down a small corridor. "He's in here." She said pointing to another door. "Take as long as you need." And she pushed the door open and Izzie stepped inside.