"Alex…Alex." The word slipped out of Izzie's mouth and hung in the air. Meredith stood and watched her friend twist in the bed and pull her pillow closer to her chest. "Alex."She whispered again.

Meredith placed the bags she was carrying carefully on the ground and moved around the room. She checked her watch, it was still early, she could let her friend sleep a little longer. Maybe she would wake up on her own. She didn't want to wake her up, she was dreaming about Alex and she didn't want to interrupt that. The minutes slowly ticked by and eventually an hour had passed. Izzie still wasn't awake and they needed to get going. Today was Alex's funeral and Izzie had already been discharged.

"Izzie," Meredith walked slowly toward her friend and placed a hand on her shoulder. She gently shook it. "Izzie, you need to wake up. You need to get ready to leave."

Izzie opened her eyes and blinked, the room was so bright. "Alex." She whispered again but she knew he was gone. In his place stood Meredith, she was wearing a black dress and her hair was pulled partly back with a black ribbon.

"You need to get ready to go." Meredith adjusted the bed into a sitting position. Izzie blinked again. She tried to push herself upright. "Which dress do you want to wear?" Meredith reached into one of the bags she'd brought in and pulled out two black dresses.

Izzie twisted and swung her legs around so she was sitting on the edge of the bed. She looked at the two dresses Meredith held up, one she'd acquired from a photo shoot during her modeling days, the other had been a present from Alex. He'd surprised her with it one day. She'd just come home from work and it was sitting on her bed with a note on it telling her to change and meet him down stairs. When he saw her he told her the dress looked more stunning on her than he had imagined. And when she'd asked him what the occasion was he told her there was no occasion, he'd just seen the dress and thought it was made for her. He took her out for dinner and then instead of going home they'd driven to a park and lay under the stars together.

"That one."

She pointed to the one he'd given her as a tear ran down her face. If he was there, if he was watching she thought he might appreciate it. Meredith smiled and handed the dress to her.

"Do you want some help changing?" she asked.

"No. I'll be fine." She slipped off the bed and began slowly walking toward the bathroom.

In the bathroom she untied her gown and let it fall to the floor. In the mirror she saw her body for the first time since the accident. Her skin was pale, her eyes dark and empty, there were cuts and bruises everywhere, her face, up and down her arms and legs. Her chest was a black and blue mess; she could see where her seat belt had pulled against her and the points where her ribs had snapped. She picked up the dress and stepped into it. She slowly pulled it up, her body ached, she couldn't get it around her broken arm. She got frustrated and started crying. Her sobs were loud and after a few minutes Meredith came in. By now she was sitting hunched over on the toilet. Meredith stood beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I can't do it." She whispered looking up at her. She might have been talking about the dress; she might have been talking about life in general. Meredith chose to deal with the present situation.

"Let me help" She held out her hand and helped Izzie stand. She untwisted the dress and carefully fixed it for her. Then she handed her a black shawl, she wrapped it around her shoulders, and fastened it with a broach. "You'll get through this." She smiled at her friend, Izzie tried to smile back but she didn't believe a word Meredith had just said. "Come on we've got to go."

The two women walked out of the room together. They'd only walked a few steps when Izzie stopped.

"I've forgot something." She said and she turned around. "Wait here." She didn't want Meredith to follow her; she didn't want Meredith to know what she had forgotten. She stepped back inside her room and walked over to the cupboard beside the bed. She opened the second draw down and reached into the very back, she pulled out a bottle of pills; she'd stolen them the night before when the nurses had been changing shift. No one knew she had them; she didn't want anyone to know she had them. She dropped the pills into her bag and closed it. Then she walked back into the corridor where Meredith was waiting.

"What did you forget?" Meredith asked as she walked toward her.

"Nothing." She shrugged Meredith didn't need to know what she had taken. "Let's go."

They began making their way to the entrance of the hospital again. Izzie moved slowly now, technically the drugs she'd been taking were worn off but there were still residual affects. Her whole body ached, every step was painful, not just physically but emotionally, she was on her way to Alex's funeral, she was going to say goodbye and then he'd be gone, she would never see him again.

At the front of the hospital Derek sat in the car waiting for them. "Morning, Stevens." He said as she slipped into the back seat.

"Morning." She replied there was no good, just morning; nothing about this day was going to be good. They drove the entire way to the church in silence. Izzie gazed out the window, she watched all the people, all the happy people going about their day. It made her think of Alex, all the moments they were never going to have, she felt sad but she didn't cry, she didn't want to cry, instead she concentrated on her breathing, at the moment it was the only thing she could control.