Did we really end like that?
Chapter 4
It was another rainy day in New York and Gerard decided to go for a walk. It was Sunday afternoon and he didn't have to work that day. He threw on some baggy jeans, a Iron Maiden T Shirt and scruffy white converse then made his way out of his apartment. The sky was grey and suited his mood. He stuck his headphones in his ears then stuck his hands in his pockets. He stood in Central Park, when he froze: a song he hadn't heard in a couple of years came on and made him gasp. It was "Burn Bright" which he had wrote after having another stupid argument with Frank. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he gazed out towards the direction of New Jersey. He hadn't been there in a while as didn't want to risk running into Frank. How could he face any of the members after what had happened to him? He was so ashamed with himself and now he faced the ultimate punishment: he was shunned by everyone. He hated the taste of failure but that was what had happened.
As he sat on a bench, his mind went back to the previous year. He had tried to be happy for Mikey when he told him that his band had gone to number one in the album and singles chart in England. Mikey had been so excited, and as he told Gerard about the UK tour they were doing, all he could think about was when My Chem had done that. He mind wondered to Ray and how he was becoming the manager everyone wanted. He hadn't spoken to him, but had been reading up on him. It seemed his name was everywhere. James was also happy with his bands "Reggie & The Full Effect" and "DeathSpells" with Frank.
Frank. That name haunted his every nightmare and dream. Every night, he relived the last time they saw each other and how much hate there had been on Frank's face. It was bad enough that his face was in every magazine, let alone thinking of him every night.
He didn't know how long he had been sat on the bench, but he knew it had been a while. The rain had soaked through his clothing and his hands were numb. He felt someone's presence near him and looked up. Elderly woman with an umbrella was staring down at him.
"Are you ok sweetheart? I have been watching you through my window and was getting quite concerned about you."
"I am fine but thank you for your concern." said Gerard, pushing his cold fingers through his wet hair.
He got up from the bench and walked away, his hands deep in his pockets. The cold had penetrated his clothing and he knew he was going to be ill if he stayed out any longer.
…..
The alarm clock went off and Gerard gave a raspy groan. Every part of his body was burning up even though he was shivering. The sweat was pouring off his brow and throat felt like it was on fire. He shakily grabbed his cellphone and rang his boss. He managed to get some words out about being ill though most of his words were inaudible. Luckily, Mr Lee understood and wished him a speedy recovery.
For a whole week, Gerard couldn't leave his bed. The fever broke after a couple of days but it zapped him of all his energy. He only left the bed, with a struggle, to go to the toilet to either be sick or pee. He stank of sweat and his clothes has vomit, piss and sweat stains on them. He gazed in the mirror: his complexion was white, his teeth were stained bad and his eyes bloodshot. He got into a cold shower, as he hadn't paid his electric bill, and scrubbed his body raw. He wrapped a dirty towel around his waist, cleaned his teeth then when on the hunt for clean-ish clothes. He hadn't been to the launderette in weeks, so finding something presentable to wear was becoming a difficult task.
He went into work, still feeling weak, as he needed the money. Things were becoming desperate now and he didn't know where to turn. His brother was still in Europe having the time of his life and all his friends had abandoned him once they realised he had no money anymore. He thought many times that he should go to either of his parents. Maybe he could stay with either of them. He knew his mum would love it if he came home. When he rang her each week, she always asked him when he would be coming over to New Jersey to see her. Unfortunately, his pride always stopped him from doing that.
Two weeks after suffering the flu, he made up his mind: he now had no gas, so couldn't cook plus he still hadn't paid his electric bill. The phone had been cut off and he had spent the past week hiding from his landlord. It was time to go home to his mum.