Chapter Six

Brendan liked it out in the prison yard. He felt less caged, more liberated in the strong breeze and glaring sun. He kept to himself for the most part, except when Warren decided to bother him. Unfortunately today was one of those days.

"Brady." Warren said, more surly than usual.

"Ye are blocking my sun, Foxy." Brendan murmured, shielding his eyes. Warren's hulking figure may have been intimidating to some but not to Brendan. It wasn't as though he had anything to fear now; he had nothing left to lose.

"Did you meet with your solicitor?"

Brendan sat up, frowning. "What's it to ye?"

"Did he tell you who got the club?"

Brendan laughed, incredulous. "Ye still care about that place?"

"Course." Warren crossed his arms in aggravation. "Well?"

Brendan's expression darkened. "Let's just say the last person I wanted to run it, got it." He bit his lip, trying to contain the anger he'd come outside to calm down from.

"Who?" Warren demanded.

"Browning." Brendan said distastefully. "And someone called Clare Devine."

Warren froze then, eyes bulging at an impressive intensity. "You are fucking joking."

"I wish." Brendan said, taking a deep breath and lying back down. "Now, fuck off please."

"Clare Devine?" Warren muttered the name to himself like a prayer.

"Ye know her?"

"You could say that." Warren said darkly.

Brendan couldn't bring himself to care. "Well if that's all…"

Warren turned to glare at him then. "Aren't you going to do anything about it? That's our club."

"My club." Brendan corrected him. "And no, nothing I could do, even if I wanted to."

"Don't you care?" Warren tried a new tact.

Brendan shrugged. "What can I say? It's just a building to me now."

Brendan remembered that conversation as he stared up at Chez Chez; another new owner in place and yet Brendan was still filled with an empty feeling of indifference. Perhaps he'd lost his love for it after what had happened, or almost happened, that final night he'd been inside. It was tainted now and he knew it was for Steven too.

He pulled back his hood, sniffing the air and enjoying the freedom that surrounded him on all sides. He could literally go anywhere and yet he stayed here, haunted by memories and regret, no place to call home. He had a great deal of money to his name too, thanks to the club's first exchange of hands. What was keeping him here?

His answer came in the form of a voice.

"Brendan?"

Brendan froze, paralysed with fear. No. This couldn't be happening. No.

"Brendan!" The voice called again, angry now. "Don't you run away from me!"

Brendan hadn't realised he'd even moved. The rain was hitting him hard in the face, near blinding him. He could see someone rushing towards him and he knew who it was without even seeing their face. He wasn't ready for this, would never be ready for this.

Steven.

The recognition became clearer on Steven's face as he drew nearer. He was only several feet away and not slowing down. Brendan didn't know what he was about to do. Attack him? Kiss him? Instead he barrelled straight into him, almost knocking Brendan off his feet. It took Brendan a moment to register what was happening, so overwhelmed by the contact as he was. Steven was clinging to him for dear life, arms tight around his neck, nose buried against his shoulder. Brendan clung back, arms wrapped around his small waist, almost lifting him off the ground.

"Steven." He murmured, afraid to break the spell but incredulous all the same that he was in his arms once more.

"You came back." Steven choked out. "You're here."

"I'm here." Brendan repeated, holding him even closer. "I'm not going anywhere." He wasn't sure it was the time to make such promises but having Steven in his arms again made him abandon all sense of reason.

Steven pulled back then, eyelashes dripping wet from the rain or tears, Brendan wasn't sure. He frowned at him, pulling further away.

"I'm angry at you." He said, but made no move to let go completely.

"I know." Brendan replied, hand still tight on Steven's waist. "I'm sorry."

"Is that all you can say? Sorry?" Steven was growing angry now. Somehow this made him pull even closer to Brendan once more.

"I don't know what I can say." Brendan told him quietly, hand reaching up of its own accord to cup Steven's face.

"Three and a half years, Bren. Without you."

"I know." Brendan mumbled, casting his eyes away from Steven's face. It was almost painful to look at him. He was so beautiful, just as Brendan remembered.

"I thought you got life."

Brendan shook his head. "I knew ye would move on easier if ye thought that."

"Well, I didn't." Steven said bluntly. His tone was sharp, annoyed and yet his body was telling a different story. His face was inches from Brendan's now, lips slightly parted.

"Fuck." Brendan breathed, curling his fingers around the back of Steven's head. "I've missed ye."

"That's not fair." Steven said, softer now.

"Please, just…" Brendan pulled him towards him, lips impossibly close.

"If you think I'm gonna just-"

Brendan kissed him then, unable to stop himself. Steven responded immediately, pushing himself against Brendan's body, grinding into him. They gasped into each other's mouths, tasting and exploring. It was over far too quickly. Steven pulled away suddenly, touching his lips in awe.

He looked up at Brendan, eyes wide and impossibly blue. He was like a startled animal.

"I can't." He said, darting away.

"No." Brendan said. It came out strangled and broken. "Steven!" He ran after him, ignoring the rain still pelting down on them, the rolling thunder overhead.

"I can't, Brendan!" Steven screamed, fleeing.

"Please, we need to talk!" Brendan called after him. He would not lose him now, he couldn't. He could still taste him in his mouth, feel the weight of him in his arms. "Steven!"

Steven stopped, collapsing to the ground as though wounded. "Brendan." he sobbed, his small body shaking and heaving.

"Shh, don't." Brendan wrapped his arms around him once more, shielding him from the downpour.

"Please." Steven begged, fingers digging into Brendan's arm.

"I'll take ye home, okay? We'll talk."

"Okay." Steven agreed, calmer now.

They went back to Brendan's for the privacy if nothing else. Brendan grabbed some towels from the bathroom, wrapping one around Steven's shoulders first. Steven shuddered, teeth chattering together.

"Ye want a shower?" Brendan offered.

Steven nodded. "You really live here?"

"It'll do for now." Brendan replied, staring around the place.

"Why here?" Steven asked, shrugging the towel off.

"Well, ye know…" Brendan trailed off awkwardly.

"I do." Steven said quietly. "I came here first when I realised you were… back."

"How did ye know?" Brendan asked curiously.

"Phoenix." Steven said, smiling sheepishly.

"Makes sense." Brendan nodded.

"Why didn't you tell him not to say anything?"

Brendan looked at him steadily. "I wouldn't ask a child to lie for me."

"Like I did with Leah you mean?"

"That's not what I meant." Brendan said tiredly. "I'll get the hot water running for ye." He added, moving away.

Steven grabbed his wrist reflexively. He looked utterly petrified.

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere." Brendan said softly, moving close to hold his face in his hands.

"I'm an idiot." Steven said, laughing.

"I'm the idiot, for not coming straight to ye." Brendan said, pulling away to go to the bathroom.

Steven followed him, leaning against the doorframe. "Why didn't you?"

Brendan turned the shower on before turning back to him. "I thought it was for the best."

Steven rolled his eyes. "Another pact with God?"

Brendan couldn't help smiling at that. "Not quite."

"I wish people would stop pretending to know what's best for me." Steven sighed heavily. "I'm a grown man, I can make my own decisions."

"Someone else bothering ye?" Brendan asked coyly.

Steven shot him a look. "What do you mean?"

"Besides me?"

Steven frowned a little. "My… dad."

"Yer dad." Brendan repeated.

"I'm guessing you know about him?"

"We met, briefly."

"When?" Steven asked incredulously. Then hesitated. "The attack."

"Did he say that I was there?" Brendan asked curiously.

"No. But he doesn't know you." Steven said carefully.

"Ye never mentioned me?" Brendan smiled a little sadly. Steven looked apologetic.

"It wasn't easy, talking about you." He said quietly.

"Course." Brendan murmured, glancing at the shower. "Should be hot enough."

"Right." Steven said awkwardly. They stood facing each other for several moments.

"I should…" Brendan trailed off.

Steven laughed nervously. "You've seen it all before."

"I know but…" Brendan couldn't take his eyes off him.

"You must be cold too."

"I can wait."

Steven nodded. Neither of them made a move to leave. Slowly Steven began to take off his clothes.

"I've lost weight." He said unnecessarily.

"Doesn't matter." Brendan replied, eyes raking over Steven's body.

"Can you…?" Steven gestured to Brendan's own clothes, blushing.

Brendan nodded quickly, shrugging his shirt off. Steven's eyes widened at the sight of his bare chest.

"I had a lot of time to work out."

"I can see that." Steven grinned then, toying with the front of his trousers.

"I never thought I'd see ye in those again."

"Me neither." Steven admitted.

"Ye don't have to work there." Brendan told him, unzipping himself.

"I know. Dad wants me to though."

"Steven…" Brendan trailed off, unsure how to phrase his question without offending him.

"You're wondering why I trust him." Steven finished for him. He always knew Brendan better than he knew himself.

"Yeah." Brendan murmured, stepping towards the shower.

"I don't know really." Steven admitted, following Brendan's path. "He came into my life at a difficult time and I just… needed him, I guess."

"Steven…" Brendan didn't know what to say. He climbed into the shower, gesturing for Steven to do the same.

"I know I should have got through it on my own." Steven said sheepishly. "But it's never as easy as that and I had no one."

"What about Douglas?"

Something flashed across Steven's face. "We fell out."

"Why?"

"It's a long story."

Brendan sensed it wasn't a story Steven wanted to share just yet. It was taking most of his self control to not look down between Steven's legs.

"This is proper weird." Steven said, eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Two men naked in the shower together? Not that weird."

"But it's us." Steven said, without needing to say more.

"I won't jump ye, promise."

"It wouldn't be right I don't think." Steven said with apparent difficulty. He turned around to allow the water to hit his face. Brendan's eyes darted towards his arse, unable to resist any longer.

"I know you're looking." Steven said, the smile evident in his voice.

"No." Brendan said. He couldn't look away now his eyes had focused in on it.

"It's okay." Steven said, turning to look at him over his shoulder. "There isn't anyone else."

Brendan let out a breath, hardly aware it was something that had been bothering him.

"That doesn't mean…" Steven trailed off, expression more guarded now.

"I know." Brendan said quickly. "Will ye stay tonight though? With me?"

"You want me to?"

Brendan nodded, swallowing heavily. "Be nice to sleep properly. It's… been a while."

"Same." Steven said, turning his face away.

"We can talk properly in the morning." Brendan offered, lathering himself in body wash.

Steven turned around, his own eyes darting downwards. "Right. Yep." He said, voice high.

Brendan smiled slowly. "He's missed ye."

"Brendan!" Steven scolded him, mock scandalised.

"I've missed ye."

"You told me that already." Steven said, eyes softer.

"It's true."

Steven sighed, swapping positions so Brendan could feel the heat of the water. He pulled a towel around himself, mussing his hair back to normal.

"My dad will wonder where I am."

"Let him wonder." Brendan said. "Ye are a grown man, remember?"

Steven considered this. "True." He stepped out of the shower, sitting on the edge of the toilet seat while he waited for Brendan to finish. "Did we seriously just shower without touching each other?"

"I'd call that progress." Brendan said, taking a towel off the rack.

"What now though?"

"We sleep I suppose." Brendan said carefully. "That okay?"

"Course. I'm knackered." Steven yawned for effect.

"Come on then." Brendan offered him a hand, feeling a tremor throughout his body at the idea of Steven rejecting him. He took it willingly however, allowing Brendan to steer him towards the bedroom. "I have a shirt ye could wear." Brendan offered, putting his boxers on.

"Thanks." Steven said, taking the offered clothing. "Mine are soaked through."

"Quite the reunion." Brendan grinned.

"Not quite how I imagined it."

"Yeah? How did ye imagine it?" Brendan asked, pulling the duvet back.

"I dunno really. Slow motion running into each other's arms?"

"Ye ran right into me."

"I know." Steven grinned, pleased with himself.

"Glad it amuses ye. Scared the life out of me."

"Serves you right for trying to run."

"I wasn't-"

"Bren," Steven interjected. He'd already climbed into bed. "Come on."

Brendan followed suit, pulling the duvet over the two of them.

"What now?" Brendan asked, feeling impossibly awkward. It was like being a teenager again.

"Come here." Steven said, laying his head against the pillow and opening his arms.

"I might not be able to stop." Brendan admitted, frightened.

"It's okay." Steven murmured. Brendan didn't need telling twice. He slotted himself into Steven's arms, tangling their legs together and pulling their bodies impossibly close.

"Jesus." Brendan breathed, pushing his face against Steven's neck. Steven trembled a little in his arms.

"I never thought this could happen again." He admitted quietly. "Am I dreaming?"

Brendan remembered the first time he had asked him that and held him tighter. "No, it's real."

"Good." Steven said a little shakily. They were silent for a few moments. Brendan stroked the back of Steven's neck absently, wondering if it would be possible to drift off to sleep knowing he was here after all this time. "Bren?" Steven asked, voice barely a whisper.

"Yeah?"

"Don't let go." Steven said. He had never sounded more scared. Brendan realised there was more to be talked about in the morning. This wasn't the same Steven he had left behind.

"I won't." He promised, kissing the top of his head. Somehow Steven had lowered himself more securely into Brendan's arms. He turned over, pushing his back against Brendan's chest.

"Night, Bren." He said quietly.

Brendan couldn't trust himself to reply. He gave him a final squeeze and closed his eyes; prepared to have the best night's sleep he'd had in years.