Chapter Eleven

They knocked on Brendan's door, astonished when he opened it within seconds. He seemed relieved to see them, which made Ste wonder who else had visited him today.

"Steven." Brendan said wonderingly, as though he hadn't thought to see him ever again.

"Bren." Ste greeted, feeling shy.

Mitzeee cleared her throat, making no move to enter the flat. "I'm sorry I tagged along, Brendan. I wondered if I could have a quick word?"

Brendan blinked as though he had only just noticed her. "Of course. I'll walk ye home. Will ye be alright here for a bit, Steven?"

"Yeah." Ste walked into the flat, turning to face them. "I'll watch telly for a bit."

"There's ah, snacks in the cupboard. Biscuits, jam… ye know."

"I'll make you a sandwich." Ste grinned, feeling oddly nostalgic all of a sudden.

"Oh ye don't have to-"

"I want to." Ste said firmly. "Go on now." He shooed them out the door, Mitzeee flashing him a warm smile before she disappeared from sight.

Ste turned immediately towards the kitchen, taking a deep breath. He remembered coming here for that weird dinner party years ago and it seemed strange to him that Brendan lived here now, of all places. Ste located the bread and jam easily enough, making the sandwiches like it was second nature to him. He even cut the crusts off and left them on the side; he remembered how Brendan liked to eat them separately.

Brendan returned ten minutes later, windswept and alert. He looked Ste over in concern before his eyes fixed on the plate of sandwiches.

"Hungry?" Ste asked, handing it over.

"Starving." Brendan said, wolfing them down. "I feel like I haven't been fed properly in years."

"That's because I haven't been around." Ste said, smiling. The smile faltered as he considered his words. "Sorry, I don't mean to make you feel bad."

Brendan shook his head, devouring one of the crusts. "I'm here now." he said simply, staring at Ste carefully.

"What was up with Mitzeee then?" Ste asked, licking some jam from his finger.

Brendan followed the movement, taking a moment longer to reply. "Oh, nothing." he said, glancing away.

Ste frowned. "What?"

"I don't want to lie to ye, just… let me say nothing."

"Brendan," Ste said warningly. "What is it?"

Brendan stroked the back of his neck absently. "Anne was a bit concerned, that's all."

"About what?" Ste asked, stepping closer.

"It's really not important right now, Steven."

Ste stepped even closer, only a few feet away from the older man now. Brendan gulped visibly at his closeness, his eyes darting down to Ste's lips which he suspected had jam on them.

"Tell me." He said seriously, eyes not leaving Brendan's face.

"How did ye get locked in the cellar?" Brendan asked.

Ste blinked. That wasn't what he had expected at all.

"How do you mean?"

"Anne said ye told her the door gets stuck, but she said that's the first she's heard of it."

Ste frowned deeply. "So? Maybe she doesn't go down to the cellar much."

"She does on occasion though." Brendan said carefully.

"What are you trying to say?" Ste asked, edge to his voice.

"Yer dad came to see me." Brendan said, wincing as Ste swore loudly.

"What for? How did he know you were here?"

"I don't know, Steven. He just did."

"That can't be right." Ste's arms lifted and he lowered them automatically.

"Do ye trust me?" Brendan asked quickly, then hesitated. "I know ye have no reason to after everything but-"

"I do." Ste said, softer now. "At least, that's what my gut is telling me."

"I like yer gut." Brendan said, laughing uneasily. It was unusual to see him so nervous; like being around Ste off-footed him somewhat.

"I'll talk to him." Ste declared, nodding to himself. "I'm sure there's an explanation."

"Yeah." Brendan said, but he sounded unsure.

"Can we forget all that for a bit?" Ste asked in a rush. "I think we need to talk, proper like."

"Right, yeah." Brendan agreed, appearing more anxious than before. "Do ye wanna sit down?"

"Okay." Ste said, stepping forwards at the same time as Brendan did. Brendan laughed a little, allowing him to go first.

They sat on the sofa; Brendan opting to sit on the arm rest.

"Who wants to start then?" Ste asked, clasping his hands together in his lap.

"Maybe I should." Brendan said unsteadily.

"Bren, you seem a bit…" Ste flailed a little with his hands.

"What?"

"Not yourself."

"Steven-"

"We really need to talk, so spit it out and we can move on."

"It's not quite that simple-"

"Just get on with it!"

"Why do ye have to be so difficult?" Brendan groaned, rubbing his temple.

"Says you!" Ste flushed, throwing a pillow in his direction.

Brendan caught it easily. "I won't fall for that one again."

"Yeah but you'll steal mine, I can't believe you still do that. And you take all the covers."

"Ye still snort in yer sleep."

"You still roll on top of me."

"Ye still tangle yer legs in mine."

"You still…" Ste faltered, realising that Brendan was now directly in front of him.

"Hey." Brendan said softly. Somehow his hands were against Ste's cheeks.

"Hey." Ste breathed, and kissed him.

It took him a few minutes to control himself. He felt himself half sitting on Brendan's lap before he pulled away, horrified.

"We're meant to be talking!" He said, flustered.

"Ye kissed me!"

"You let me!"

"Steven, this could go on all night." Brendan said finally, chuckling.

"You're right." Ste reluctantly pulled himself from Brendan's arms and sat beside him. "Okay, you go."

Brendan took a deep breath. "I know everything can't go back to the way it was before, ye know, but where's yer head at right now?"

"I don't know to be honest." Ste said, chewing on his bottom lip. "Last night was… amazing." He flushed a little then. "It was like… I dunno…"

"Coming home?" Brendan asked quietly.

"Yeah." Ste agreed softly. "Just like that."

"And there really hasn't been anyone else that ye have…" Brendan balled his hands into fists. "Ye know…"

"Besides that, no. There hasn't. Have you…?"

"No." Brendan said shortly.

"Not even?" Ste hesitated. "Actually I don't think I wanna know."

"Steven," Brendan grasped his hands in his own, grip tight. "Ye know there is no one else. Not for me."

"Well, not for me either." Ste said weakly. "But Brendan after everything that happened in those weeks leading up to the arrest…" Ste frowned again. "How do we get past all that?"

"That's up to ye, Steven."

Ste gulped, feeling the warmth of Brendan's hands in his own. "You took all those classes in prison."

"I did." Brendan said uneasily.

"But I know how easy it is to… fall into old habits."

"I don't want to hurt ye, Steven. Ye have to believe that."

"I do." Ste said and he meant it. "It's that leap of faith though, isn't it? Like on that bridge."

Brendan was silent, staring at Ste as though he held all the answers.

"It might take time…" Ste began, not quite believing his own words. "We can take it slow, get to know each other again."

"Whatever ye want, Steven." Brendan said solemnly.

Ste twitched. "It's not what I want though."

Brendan said nothing, his eyes sad. He looked older all of a sudden, like the grief and pain of the past few years had taken its toll.

"I don't mean I don't want to." Ste said quickly. "I mean that I don't want to go slow and wait, I want you now."

"Now?" Brendan stared at the sofa as though judging it's durability. "I could move these cushions out the way…"

"Brendan!" Ste laughed, tugging on his hands.

"Sorry." Brendan said sheepishly. His lines smoothed out and he smiled and it was the most beautiful thing Ste had ever seen. He kissed him again.

"Maybe just for tonight we can…" Ste looked at him suggestively.

"Jesus." Brendan breathed as Ste's hands roamed down his body.

"Let's go to the bedroom though, yeah? I don't fancy these dodgy floorboards."

Brendan stood up abruptly, pulling Ste with him.

"Someone's keen!" Ste laughed.

"Fuck it." Brendan growled low, pulling Ste into his arms for a fierce kiss.

Ste found himself being half carried towards the bedroom. He was taken off guard momentarily by the unfamiliarity of the room. It didn't yet have Brendan's stamp on it.

"My stuff's in storage." Brendan said, breaking away from their kiss.

"We'll get it all back."

"I don't have lube."

"I don't care."

Brendan growled again low in his throat, pushing Ste onto the bed.

Before he joined him he whipped his shirt off in one fluid motion. Even though Ste had seen him yesterday he still took his breath away. Brendan was huge. He wasn't like those wrestlers with all the veins and bulging biceps but his stomach was taut, chest defined and arms built like they could lift Ste above his head.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous." Ste found himself saying, most uncharacteristically. But he supposed Brendan hadn't heard a compliment in a long time and his mouth wasn't engaging with his brain at all right now. He feared he would say worse later.

"Steven." Brendan murmured, voice velvet smooth and washing over Ste like a tidal wave.

Ste shimmied himself out of his trousers, slipping his shirt over his head. Brendan stared at him like a starved man, eyes blazing in their intensity.

"This… this is heaven." Brendan muttered to himself, kissing his cross and climbing onto the bed.

"Come here, you idiot." Ste grinned, pulling him forwards with ease. Their lips met all over again; a crushing of mouths and the stroking of tongues. Brendan's hands were all over him; smoothing over his pale skin and the hairs on his legs. He moved his lips to his neck, making sucking sounds until he found his chest, peppering it with soft kisses.

Ste's eyes rolled back, imperceptibly widening his legs. Brendan chuckled into his skin, bypassing his groin to nuzzle and bite his inner thigh. He stroked along his calf, making Ste shiver. It was like Brendan was rediscovering him all over again, re-learning every crevice in his body.

Ste began to get impatient. He wrapped his legs tightly around Brendan's waist, drawing him near.

"Steven." Brendan chuckled, kissing him lightly on the nose.

"Please." Ste begged, hands ghosting over Brendan's bare flesh.

Brendan's smile faded, replaced with a look of the purest desire. "Okay." He mumbled, staring into Ste's eyes, expression unguarded.

He worked his way down Ste's body, lips and tongue leaving a trail from chest to balls; the latter he palmed in his hand while his tongue licked carefully around his hole. It wasn't long before his tongue worked its way inside, causing Ste to buck half off the bed with the suddenness of the feeling.

"Do I have to hold ye?" Brendan paused, tilting his head up to smirk at him.

"No." Ste breathed, head thrown back against the pillow. "Just… get on with it." He grimaced, already feeling the coil of tension work its way to the surface of his consciousness.

Brendan did as he was told; lapping at Ste's entry with all the vigor and finesse Ste remembered. Ste reached for his hands, trapping them in his own. Their fingers interlocked tightly; Ste giving the barest of squeezes when he wanted Brendan to increase his movements. It was remarkable the way they remembered these cues, as though they had never been apart at all.

Brendan replaced his tongue with a finger coated in spit from Ste's own mouth. Ste felt himself clench tightly before he relaxed from a coaxing hand on his belly. He hadn't been penetrated for some time and judging by the smile on Brendan's face, the older man realised this too.

"Don't get cocky." Ste warned him.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Steven." Brendan smiled in return, pushing his index finger in deeper, finding that delicious spot inside that made Ste clamp his lips shut. "Don't hold out on me now." Brendan teased, but there was a desperation to his voice that Ste didn't miss.

Ste breathed out heavily. "Fuck!" He shouted, feeling his legs shake around Brendan's firm hands.

"Another?" Brendan asked and Ste felt the familiar nudge alongside the finger already inside. He was being stretched open, laid bare to Brendan and all the while anticipating the main event. Ste began to sweat at the thought of it.

"Brendan." Ste whimpered, hips unable to remain still. "Please."

Brendan, seemingly unable to deny him anything at this point, removed his fingers and lined himself up. He paused, hesitant. Ste nodded quickly to his trouser pocket where Brendan fished out a condom.

Brendan raised his eyebrows, amused and intrigued.

"Don't say a word." Ste warned, wrapping his legs around Brendan's shoulders.

"Wouldn't dare." Brendan grunted, inch by inch pushing himself inside. "Jesus." He breathed. "So fucking tight, Steven."

Ste gave an incoherent response; tightening and relaxing his muscles to accommodate Brendan's cock.

They moved slowly at first, a gentle rock between their bodies. Ste shifted his legs a little, not quite comfortable yet.

"Ye still bend?" Brendan asked, a low grunt.

Ste nodded eagerly, pulling his legs towards his stomach and tilting back to give Brendan better access.

"I'm gonna fuck ye in every position imaginable." Brendan kept his movements slow, measured. Ste could feel the pressure building up inside him but he was no where near the edge just yet.

Brendan moved forwards, pushing Ste's legs apart so they were wide and hovering in mid air. He lowered his body onto his, kissing him while he moved in and out, hardly removing himself from the warmth of Ste's body.

"You can't keep this up." Ste whispered.

"I know." Brendan agreed. "I'm not as young as I used to be."

"Shut up." Ste scolded him, pushing Brendan's hands onto his ankles. "Hold me."

Without further provocation, Ste began to tilt his pelvis up, thrusting himself onto Brendan's cock. Brendan's eyes sparkled in surprise, his grip tight on Ste's ankles.

"Dreamed of this most nights." Brendan told him, eyes glazed over with desire.

"Me too." Ste admitted, feeling the thin sheen of sweat across his entire body.

Ste's cock lay unattended on his stomach, fully erect and begging to be touched.

"Hang on." Brendan said, as if he was reading his mind. He lowered Ste's legs carefully, moving with Ste's body and remaining inside until they were both on their sides, Brendan's chest flush against Ste's back.

"This is a rare one." Ste said, shifting himself comfortably against Brendan's body.

"Fresh start, Steven." Brendan murmured, kissing the point between his neck and shoulder blade. He began to gently thrust, his arms around Ste keeping him close. One hand found his cock and began to stroke to the rhythm of his movements. Ste turned his head enough to capture his lips, enjoying the limited movement of their position and the way it made him ache for his orgasm even more.

"Brendan." He said in a strangled voice.

"I know." Brendan breathed, increasing his movements both inside and the hand against Ste's cock.

"I'm gonna come." Ste shuddered and spasmed, almost flying off the bed except for the weight of Brendan's body against his own. Brendan's thrusts became erratic and uncoordinated until he too climaxed.

They breathed heavily, coated in sweat and the scent of each other. Ste had missed the smell of sex; after so long it came to him headier and sweeter than he remembered. Brendan didn't withdraw straight away; instead he kissed along Ste's back, eliciting goosebumps all over his flesh.

"That was…" Ste found himself giggling uncontrollably. Brendan ran a hand down his stomach, calm and amused.

"Yeah?"

"So good I can't talk." Ste rasped, twitching a little in Brendan's arms.

"I'm gonna take it out." Brendan warned him, doing so as slowly as possible. Ste watched him discard the condom, eyes fixed on him at all times. "Look at ye." Brendan said, rubbing a thumb against his cheek.

"I must look a state." Ste laughed, a little self conscious now.

"Beautiful." Brendan murmured so quietly that Ste almost didn't hear him; he wasn't certain Brendan wanted him to.

"I can't stay." Ste said reluctantly, glancing at the time.

Brendan groaned, pulling him close once more in an embrace. His legs locked around Ste's, his arms solid and reassuring.

"Brendan." Ste laughed, attempting to move away.

"Ye can't leave, I forbid it."

Ste raised his eyebrows, small smirk on his lips. "I have to, you know that."

"I know nothing of the sort." Brendan said, kissing him. Ste could feel the redness around his mouth and wondered how he would get back downstairs without Sam knowing what he'd been up to.

"I'll come back tomorrow, I promise."

Brendan hesitated, that sad look in his eyes again. "Ye won't get delayed this time?"

"No." Ste said, although he wasn't certain. "You could come by the club though, if you're worried."

"Where anyone could see me?" Brendan asked, unsure.

"Has to happen sometime." Ste said, coaxing himself slowly out of Brendan's arms.

Brendan rolled onto his stomach, arse poised in mid-air. Ste's eyes drifted, wetting his lips unconsciously.

"Steven, aren't ye going?"

"Um." Ste hesitated, swallowing hard. "Yes. Yes I am."

"Why are ye climbing back onto the bed then?" Brendan smiled as Ste wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close once more.

"I don't think a little longer would hurt."

"Ah see, now that ye are back that's forfeit. I get to decide when ye leave now."

"Brendan!"

"I don't make the rules, Steven. I simply obey them."

Ste sighed deeply. "I suppose I can stay tonight."

Brendan kissed him at these words, giddier than Ste had ever seen him.

"Ye won't regret it."

"I don't doubt that." Ste ran his hands against Brendan's jaw. "You gonna shave sometime?"

Brendan shrugged. "What do ye prefer?"

"I miss my tache."

"Yer tache?" Brendan grinned.

"I own it, I've decided. And I own this…" Ste trailed his hands across Brendan's stomach. "And this…" his hands drifted across his cock. "And…" He hesitated then as he moved to touch Brendan's arse.

Brendan sensed his hesitation, pulling his hand to rest there. He smiled tightly.

"I'm sorry." Ste said sadly.

"It's okay."

"No, it isn't." Ste buried his face into Brendan's shoulder.

"Steven." Brendan stroked his hair gently, soothingly. "Fresh start, remember?"

"That was the first time since you told me, I didn't even realise."

"That's good." Brendan made sure Ste was looking at him as he spoke. "As long as ye still want me-"

"Of course I do." Ste said, burying ever closer against Brendan's body. "I'm frightened already though. It's so easy to lose you."

"Steven, don't." Brendan pulled him in even closer, if that were possible. "I… I love ye, okay? This is it for me. I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise me." Ste said, eyes boring into Brendan's.

"With my life." Brendan said solemnly, wiping the tears that were beginning to form from Ste's eyes.

"Okay." Ste agreed, relaxing as best he could. "I'll come after you myself if you dare anyway."

Brendan laughed then, diffusing the remaining tension.

"Ye have worn me out, boy."

"Hey, I'm not a boy!"

"No ye aren't." Brendan said, eyes dark with desire once more.

"Again?" Ste laughed incredulously.

"I'll go all night if I have to." Brendan growled, rolling Ste on top of him.

"I guess it's my turn then." Ste's eyes glittered.

"It seems that way, doesn't it?"

"Mmm." Ste toyed with the hairs at Brendan's chest. "Before we go again though, promise me one more thing."

"Name it."

Ste moved close, nose to nose. "Steal my pillow and the covers, let me tangle our legs together and my god, roll on top of me all you bloody well like."

Brendan smiled, understanding the implication and claiming Ste's lips all over again in answer.