They all decided to gather in the back of the library, sitting in a circle on the floor and just talking to each other, instead of starting arguments or snapping, like they had been all day. Garcia stayed in a corner while JJ and Emily sat across from each other, and Spencer was leaning his arm on a chair, Derek leaning against the railing.

"What would you do for a million bucks?" Emily asked.

Derek shrugged. "As little as I had to, I guess."

"That's so boring!" JJ snapped.

"What am I supposed to say?"

"The idea is to find the absolute limit of what you'd do for it. For example, would you drive to school naked?"

He chuckled. "Would I have to get out of my car?"

"…Of course."

"That depends on the season. Spring or winter?"

JJ shrugged. "It doesn't matter. Let's say spring."

"Front of the school, or the back?"

"Either."

He thought to himself before nodding. "Yeah, I would."

"I'd do it," Garcia spoke up. "I'm pretty much up for anything and I wouldn't need a million dollars to do it either."

"You're lying," JJ said, rolling her eyes.

She shook her head. "I've done plenty, except for a few illegal things. Then again, I have done illegal things as well."

"Like that thing you do with the computers?" Spencer asked.

"Oh that is definitely not legal and that's why you're keeping your mouth closed."

JJ sat up straight. "What other illegal things can you do without getting caught?"

She counted them off on her fingers. "Hacking, changing computer files, shoplifting," she cleared her throat, eyeing JJ and changing the subject. "Onto you, Ms. Popularity. What have you done?"

"What do you mean 'what have I done'?"

"Well Emily hinted at it earlier, but you never answered the question completely…"

JJ groaned. "Why is it anybody's business what I have or haven't done and who I have or haven't done it with?"

"We're curious. We're all opening up here," Emily started.

"I'm not discussing my private life with strangers."

"I'd like to think after the day we've had, we're more than strangers," Spencer spoke up.

Garcia shrugged. "You're scared because it's a double edged sword."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, if you've done it, you're a slut, but if you haven't, you're a prude. It's a lose-lose situation if you're a girl," Emily told her.

"You want to and you can't, but when you do, you wish you hadn't," Garcia added.

"Or she's a tease," Emily said.

Derek looked up. "She's definitely a tease." He saw JJ looking defensive. "Oh, you're a tease and you know it, Jayje. All girls are teases."

"She's only a tease if what she does bothers someone," Emily said, shrugging.

"I don't do anything!"

Garcia pointed a finger at her. "That's what makes you a tease. That's the difference between us. I don't tease."

She scoffed. "I pray that's not the only difference."

"Face it," Emily said, shifting slightly, "you're a tease."

"Stop saying I'm a tease."

Emily shrugged. "Then answer the question."

"Be honest."

"It's no big deal."

"Just answer it."

She groaned, hitting her hands on the ground. "No, I've never done it. Satisfied?"

Emily clapped her hands together. "Definitely something to be proud of in this day and age."

"You're so weird," JJ mumbled.

Derek looked around. "Isn't everyone? Other people are just better at hiding their weirdness, or in some cases," he motioned toward Garcia, "embracing it." Garcia smiled slightly, enjoying one of the first compliments she'd ever received.

JJ glanced at him. "And what makes you weird, huh?"

He clicked his tongue, sighing. "You guys know what I did to get in here, don't you?" looking at them, he saw all of them shaking their heads and took a deep breath, bracing himself for it.

"All of my buddies on the wrestling team, over the years, they've all done some pretty stupid shit. I'm the captain and never did anything dumb for attention or because I was a jock and I could, and I was starting to lose their respect. If I lose the respect of my team? I lose them, and they turn their backs on me. Yeah, wrestling's an individual sport, but you know, it'll only get you so far if all of the people you're there with turn a blind eye when you're competing, so in my head I thought that I had to do something to earn their respect back. It was really stupid and looking back, I know it shouldn't have happened." He kept his gaze straight ahead of him, not wanting to look anyone in the eye. He didn't have it in him to face anyone and tell them directly what he'd done.

"So what happened?" JJ said softly.

He cleared his throat. "I… there's this kid in my gym class, Ethan something. There was some talk going around about him at school about you know, his 'interests', and the team all knew about it. They were all contemplating confronting him on it, but I beat them all to the punch." He screwed his eyes shut, sighing. "I beat the living snot out of that kid, jumped him from behind too, and didn't stop until my buddies got bored. They all just stood there and laughed and cheered me on, and I just, I really don't know why. That's nothing to be proud of or to want to congratulate. I took that kid's biggest weakness, his biggest insecurity, and hurt him because of it." He exhaled, leaning his head back. "Rossi said that if I weren't who I was at this school, I'd have been expelled and probably arrested. I did all of that and risked this much for a stupid sport. My mom, she's been both parents for me for over seven years, and she's the sweetest woman on the planet. Having to look her in the eye and tell her what I did… that was the first time in my life I really hated myself. I've done stupid shit. I've drank, I've partied, I've fought before but that… that was my all time low. The look on her face almost said 'you're not my son'." He bit down on his lip, trying to fight back his emotions. "I thought of him having to go home to his dad and tell him what happened, and I felt his humiliation and his pain, and it stung worse than anything. How the hell does someone apologize for doing that, for hurting someone because of who they may or may not be, when in reality, you don't even know what you are?"

Daring to look up, he saw the looks on everyone's faces, and he knew he said more than he'd wanted to. Most of them were on the brink of tears, but he wasn't sure if it was because they felt sorry for him, or they were disgusted. He took a deep breath, sighing. "Sometimes, I wish my knee would give out and I wouldn't have to worry about scholarships anymore, just so I don't have to be this image of Derek Morgan, all-star athlete. I'm more than a letterman jacket, and nobody seems to realize that. A while back I blew out my right knee in a match and I was sidelined for a few months, and it was the happiest I'd been in a while. I thought getting back in the game would make it better, but it's only made this feeling worse."

Garcia reached over silently, squeezing his shoulder, then reaching down and rubbing his back. He patted her arm as a thank you and gave a weak smile, looking back at his lap.

Spencer stayed silent for a minute, considering what he was going to say. It seemed every time he'd spoken up today, he was interrupted or a joke was made at his expense, and he didn't want that to happen. With everything Derek had just put out in the open, he wasn't going to let him be the only one to speak the truth today. He was finally around four people he was comfortable with, and he knew if he didn't talk now, he never would.

"That whole situation, it's like me with my grades," he spoke softly, starting to talk with his hands, "I step outside of myself and get a good look at myself, and I see this. I don't like what I see, and in turn, what everyone else sees. I just, I really don't."

JJ leaned toward him. "But what's wrong? Why don't you like yourself?"

He stared at the carpet. "It sounds stupid, but because I've started failing." He screwed his eyes shut, biting his cheek. "I hoped that achieving so much and getting in newspapers would be enough to get my dad's attention and maybe want him to come back home after seven years, but nothing. I've even contacted the paper I know he reads, so I know he sees me. I haven't even gotten a phone call or a letter. I bumped into him once at the grocery store, and he just saw right through me. Part of me wanted to just wrap my arms around him and hug him and tell him I missed him, but I knew it was pointless and I'd just get hurt all over again."

Emily looked over at him. "Between your deadbeat dad and my piece of shit dad, they should start an asshole bowling league."

Spencer smiled slightly, appreciating the joke, but needing to continue the story. "I'm sorry, I diverted from the point. I just, as I said, I've started failing and that's… that isn't me. We had an assignment in shop to make a lamp, and I'd read electrical and engineering books for years, it's all committed to memory. We had eight weeks to do it and I worked really hard on it, and I was proud of myself for doing something that was non-academic. The light was supposed to go on and mine just never did, and I couldn't figure out why. I thought I was making the right move, taking shop, considering how much I've read up on so many things, I figured I could handle it and maintain my GPA."

"Why did you think it would be so easy?" Emily asked, not looking at him.

"Because some of the people that take shop-"

"I take shop. Does it look like I'm going to step into a fucking home-ec class?"

JJ put up her hands. "Neither of you is superior to the other. You're both good in your own ways."

Garcia could sense the tension in the room and had to say something to divert the subject before an argument broke out. She'd heard enough of it today and she wasn't going to deal with it again.

"…I can draw with my toes, and write, and play the piano."

"All with your feet?" JJ asked.

She nodded, smiling slightly.

Spencer leaned back on his elbows. "…I can make spaghetti."

JJ motioned toward Derek. "What about you?"

"…I can be a giant asshole for attention."

Emily glanced at JJ. "What about JJ?"

"I can't do anything special."

"Everyone can do something special, Ms. Soccer Queen."

She sighed, thinking to herself. "I can do something, but it's just really weird."

"I think we've established we're all weird here today," Derek said, straightening up.

JJ shook her head. "So long as you all swear not to laugh." She stuck her lipstick in her shirt and bent her head down, applying it, resurfacing a minute later.

"Where'd you learn that skill?" Derek asked, clapping.

"Seventh grade soccer camp."

Emily slow clapped and Garcia glared at her. "You're being a bitch, don't do that to her. You swore that you wouldn't laugh at her."

"I'm not laughing."

"You bitch," Derek snapped.

Emily shrugged. "What do you care what I think anyway? As you said, I might as well not even exist and nobody would give a shit." She then eyed JJ. "And you don't even like me anyway."

"You know, I have feelings just like you do, and it hurts when someone stomps all over them."

"Don't you dare compare our lives. You've got everything you could want and I have nothing."

"Coming from the girl with a rich mom," Derek muttered.

She glared at him before focusing back on JJ. "If you didn't show up, the school wouldn't know how to function, because you're their queen. Oh, and are those diamond earrings you're wearing?"

"Shut up," JJ snapped, wiping her eyes.

"Oh, I bet those are. Did you work for the money for those? Or did Daddy buy them for you?"

She reached up, touching the earrings. No, they weren't a present for her. They'd belonged to her sister, and she'd gotten them along with a necklace when she'd committed suicide a few years back.

"Those were a Christmas gift, weren't they? Know what I got last Christmas? My drunk stepfather throwing insults at me while my mother was 2,000 miles away. Merry fucking Christmas, right?" She saw JJ on the brink of tears. "No, you're not going to cry here. Cry to your Daddy."

She sniffed, wiping her eyes and sighing.

"Are you guys going to become your parents?" Derek asked.

JJ shook her head. "Not me, ever."

"I don't think we can stop it," Garcia spoke up, "it just happens one day. We say we're going to be better. We say we're going to do everything they didn't. Then you turn around and you're them. It just happens."

JJ wiped her eyes. "What happens."

"You grow up and your heart just dies."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Who cares?"

"I care. I'm not going to be them. I can't let that happen."

Spencer sighed, clearing his throat. "I was just thinking, and I know it's poor timing considering everything that we're discussing right now, but I was wondering what's going to happen to us on Monday when we're all together again in the hallways?" He looked around at them and saw them mulling it over. "I mean, after today, I consider you guys friends, with everything we know about each other now. I'm not wrong in thinking that, am I?"

Derek shook his head. "You're not wrong, kid."

"So on Monday, what happens?"

"Do you mean are we still friends?" JJ said, practically a whisper. "That is, if we're friends now." He nodded and she sighed. "Do you want the truth?"

He nodded. "I want the truth."

She shook her head. "I don't think so."

Garcia saw the defeated look on Spencer's face. "So, is that with all of us, or just you and Emily?"

She stared at the floor. "All of you."

"Great attitude to have, Jayje," Derek spat out.

"Be honest here, Derek. If Spencer were to walk up to you in the hallway on Monday to start up a conversation, what would you do to him?" He looked over at Spencer before staring straight ahead of him. "I mean, picture it. You're standing there with all your buddies from different sports teams and all of a sudden, he walks up. You know exactly what would happen. You'd wave and say hi, brushing him off, and the second he's out of earshot, you'd tear him to pieces so your friends wouldn't think that you really gave a shit about him."

He looked at Spencer again before shaking his head. "No way." He reached over, patting Spencer's leg. JJ could think that way all she wanted, but Monday was going to be a new day for him. He was done being an asshole for the sake of being an asshole. That was not the son that his mother raised, and he was going to start being something that she'd be proud of.

"Okay," Garcia started, looking at JJ, "but what if I came up to you?"

She licked her lips. "The same thing."

"You're a bitch!" Emily snapped.

"Why, because I'm telling him the truth of what's actually going to happen, that makes me a bitch?"

"No, because you know how shitty that is to do to someone." She pointed to Spencer. "There was a time when you were that kid. You were smart and in the shadows of everybody else before you realized your potential in soccer and grew into your looks. You were that kid and you tried talking to the popular kids and you got the freeze out. You shouldn't do that to someone because that's what happened to you. You need to stop giving a shit what everyone else thinks and do what you actually want to do for a fucking change in your life."

"Okay, what about you?" she yelled back. "Why don't you take Garcia out to a party sometime," Garcia let out a small laugh, "or take Spencer to the parking lot to get high with you?" Out of the corner of her eye, she finally saw Spencer break down, his wall shattered and tears pouring down his face. "What about Derek, for that matter, and me? What would your friends say if we walked down the hall together? They'd laugh, and you'd tell them you had something on me so they'd forgive you."

Emily pointed a finger at her. "Don't you dare talk about my friends. You may see them as burnouts and stoners and low-lifes, but you know what? They would never pull that bullshit on anybody. You don't know them, you don't look at them, and you sure as hell, and you wouldn't sink as low on your social ladder to speak to any of my friends, so stick to the shit you know in life: soccer, shopping, lip gloss, your dad's brand new car, and your drunk of a mother."

JJ kicked at her. "Shut up!"

"And as far as us being seen in the hallways together? You can guarantee that it's never going to happen. Just keep your head in the sand until fucking prom and do the world a favor."

"I hate you!" JJ snapped.

"Oh? Good. It's about time someone fed you a heavy dose of reality."

They stayed silent for a minute before Spencer said something. "So I assume that Garcia and I are better people than you?" he asked, motioning toward JJ. "I tried tutoring you and you had one of your buddies strip me naked and tie me to a pole, so obviously I shouldn't have expected anything."

JJ's breath hitched in her throat – she never found out what had happened, and she'd just wanted him to talk to Spencer.

"Us weirdos can look out for each other, right?" He turned to Garcia. "Would you do that to me?"

She shrugged. "I don't have any friends."

"Yeah, but if you did?"

"No. The kind of friends I would have wouldn't mind who I talked to in the hallways."

"I just want every single one of you to know that I wouldn't do that." He was sure to look each of them in the eye. "I wouldn't do it, and I won't do it, because it's a shitty thing to do to someone."

"Your friends wouldn't mind it because they look up to us," JJ spoke up, wiping her eyes. "And as for what happened to you, I didn't – I just-"

Spencer put up his hand, shaking his head. "Don't. It was bad enough walking home naked at 10:00 at night when they finally stopped laughing at me."

She bit down on her cheek.

"You're so conceited, JJ," he said softly, shaking his head and wiping his eyes. "It didn't matter what was done to me, because it had nothing to do with you."

"I'm not saying it because I'm conceited! I hate having to go along with what other people want me to do or say."

"Then why do you do it?"

She swallowed. "You don't understand. My sister was extremely popular and likeable and she still did it." She blinked, wiping away the stray tears. "She was happy and nothing was wrong and she still killed herself when I was in the next room. I didn't want that to happen to me, and I wanted to follow in her footsteps. I wanted to do it right and still try to be happy and be the daughter they could be proud of just like she was. You don't know what the pressure is to be popular and maintain that-"

"I don't understand what? You think I can't fathom what pressure is? Fuck you!" He wiped his eyes on his sweater, sighing. He finally crumbled, burying his head in his sleeve. "Do you know why I'm here today?" he snapped. "Do you?" He sniffed, wiping his eyes. "I'm here because Mr. Ryan found a bottle of pills in my locker."

JJ's eyes widened while Derek leaned in, hoping he could get through to him and calm him down. "Why did you have pills in your locker?"

He blinked, tears falling. "I tried so hard, and it wasn't enough. I was supposed to pull the cord and the fucking thing was supposed to work, and it didn't."

"What were the pills for, Spencer?"

He shook his head, sitting up. "Just forget it."

"You brought it up," he pointed out.

He rested his elbows on his knees, pressing his forehead against his hands and sighing. "I can't have an F. I can't have it, and I can't have him know I have it."

Emily looked at Spencer, seeing him vulnerable, and was speechless. She didn't even know that people like him knew the definition of pressure and just assumed success came easily to them.

"Even if I get A's the rest of the semester, which is highly unlikely, I'm still only at a B. Everything's ruined. If I just took the pills and swallowed them and dealt with the pain for a while, all of this would've gone away."

"Spencer," JJ said softly.

"What?" he snapped, hitting the chair away from him. "I considered the options."

"Killing yourself wasn't an option," she tried to reason.

"Well it didn't happen, did it? No. But let's be honest, would any of you have noticed if I wasn't at school on Monday? Would anyone really have cared that I decided to overdose? There'd be the people that pretended to care for the attention and the spectacle, and that's it. None of you would've cared."

"We care now," Derek tried to reason. Spencer gave him a slight smile, wiping his eyes and hoping to calm himself down.

"…Do you know what I did to get in here today?" Garcia spoke up, looking around at them. When nobody reacted, she laughed to herself. "Nothing, I didn't have anything better to do with my Saturday?"

They all laughed, something that was much needed after the tension of the last few conversations they shared.

"You're all laughing at me," she said, joining them.

Derek shook his head. "No, Baby Girl, not laughing at you."

She giggled. "Baby Girl?"

He shrugged. "I was between that and blondie, and Emily's already given JJ that one."

She smirked, walking over and sitting beside Spencer, nudging his arm. "Come on. You, me, computer. We're giving you a bit of an academic boost."

His eyes widened. "… Won't I get in trouble?"

"No, because we're doing it as Mr. Ryan." She gave him a wink, grabbing him under the arm and pulling him up with her. This was definitely something he needed as an ego boost, and she had no problem using her skills to do it.