Chapter Eighteen

Ste awoke the next morning with Brendan's body half-draped across him. He smiled to himself, turning in his arms to nuzzle against Brendan's neck.

Brendan mumbled something indecipherable in his sleep, pulling Ste so tightly towards him that Ste wasn't sure how he'd escape.

He allowed Brendan to hold him for a good few minutes before he started to get twitchy, knowing that breakfast needed to be made before they all went to the club. Sensing Ste's agitation, Brendan groaned and released him slightly, allowing Ste the chance to slip out of bed and creep towards the door.

"Where ye going?" Brendan asked, always conscious of Ste's absence.

Ste turned, taking in Brendan's dishevelled appearance and how attractive he looked first thing in the morning, annoyingly so.

"Thought I'd make you breakfast in bed." Ste said coyly, leaning against the door frame.

"I should be doing that for ye." Brendan muttered, sitting up a little.

"Why?" Ste asked.

Brendan shrugged, blinking his eyes open. "Old-fashioned like that."

"You can make it tomorrow." Ste offered, opening the door. "But really I'm the chef so surely it's better if I make it anyway?"

Brendan licked his lips, moaning a little presumably at the thought of Ste's cooking. "Will ye make those mini waffles? With the sauce?"

Ste grinned at him. "I might have to go to the shop for them."

Brendan threw the cover away from him. "I'll go."

"Don't be silly, I don't mind. You go wake Declan up." Ste grabbed his trousers and a fresh shirt out of his bag. "I won't be long." He said, kissing Brendan briefly on the lips and vacating the room before Brendan could argue further.

The village was relatively quiet. Ste grabbed a basket in Price Slice and located the waffles easily enough; he hadn't made them in years. The memories had been too vivid and always associated with Brendan. He picked up a few other bits, thinking back on the state of Brendan's fridge and cupboards. Just as he was leaving the shop be bumped into Mitzeee, Phoenix resting on her hip.

"Ste!" She said, flustered. Her hair hadn't been combed and she wasn't wearing any make-up. Reflexively, Ste took Phoenix into his arms, balancing his shopping on his other arm.

"What's up?"

"We had a bit of a rough night and I've got to meet with a magazine in fifteen minutes." Mitzeee hastily ran her fingers through her hair.

"A magazine? Really?" Ste said, frowning. "I thought you were done with all that."

"It's not like that; it's a piece on being a single mum in the limelight."

"Sounds a bit trashy." Ste told her, poking his tongue out at Phoenix who returned the gesture.

"They're paying me a grand for it though so I can't exactly turn it down." Mitzeee admitted, taking out her compact and applying some lipstick.

"A grand?" Ste said, astonished. "Do you think they'd interview me too?"

Mitzeee laughed, snapping the compact shut. "I don't think you have money troubles like the rest of us, Ste. Not with Brendan and Sam around."

"Oi, what are you implying?" Ste asked, annoyed.

"Sugar daddies." Mitzeee winked, but she was only teasing. She looked at Ste desperately then. "Can you watch Phoenix for me? Just a few hours."

"Mitz, I have work…"

"Can't he go with you?"

"To the club?" Ste gave her a look. "Well I suppose Declan could watch him-"

"Declan? As in Brendan's Declan?" Mitzeee frowned.

"Yeah, he's come to visit. Brendan's chuffed." Ste felt that familiar glow inside him.

"Aw, that's lovely." Mitzeee said with genuine sentiment. "You'll keep an eye on them though won't you? How old is Declan now?"

"Seventeen, eighteen?" Ste replied. "I'll keep a close eye, don't worry."

"Thanks, babe." Mitzeee said, giving him a kiss on the cheek and smiling apologetically when she got lipstick on him.

"It's fine, you go." Ste laughed, giving Phoenix back to his mother for a quick cuddle.

Phoenix insisted on walking back so Ste was a little longer than planned. He knocked on the door, smiling when Brendan answered. Brendan glanced down at Phoenix in some surprise.

"Last minute babysitter." Ste explained, hoisting Phoenix back into his arms again.

"I'm not a baby." Phoenix said firmly, crossing his arms.

"Course not." Ste smiled, handing him over to Brendan. "Watch him a minute, will you? I need to sort this lot out."

Brendan took him without comment, taking him to sit on the sofa with him and Declan.

"Who's this? Lovechild?" Declan asked, grinning.

"Anne's." Brendan explained. "This is Phoenix. Phoenix, this is my son Declan."

Phoenix frowned at Declan. "You haven't got a tash." He said, sounding disappointed.

Brendan laughed, eyes sparkling in amusement.

"Not for want of trying." Declan answered, disgruntled. "Anne as in Mitzeee, Dad?"

"Yeah." Brendan replied, helping Phoenix take his shoes off. "Why?"

"He fancies her!" Ste called out from the kitchen.

"Shut up!" Declan said, blushing.

"She's far too old for ye, Deccy." Brendan told him, giving Phoenix the television remote.

"She's Ste's age isn't she?" Declan glanced back at Ste.

"What are ye trying to say?" Brendan asked, warning edge to his voice.

"Nothing!" Declan asked. "It's weird really, I'm probably closer in age to Ste than you are, and Ste's dad is probably closer in age to you than you are to Ste."

"Please stop." Brendan said, deadpan.

"He's only messing, Bren." Ste told him, putting the waffles in the pan. "There's a coffee here if you want it."

Brendan strode over purposefully, taking a sip and wincing. "How many sugars are in this?"

Ste gave him a hard look. "One."

"Ugh." Brendan reached for the sugar tin, putting two more spoonfuls in. "I know, I know. Tubby." Brendan sighed, taking a large gulp. "Ah." He closed his eyes in contentment.

Ste rolled his eyes, turning the waffles over as they cooked. "We're gonna have to take Phoenix to the club with us. You alright watching him, Declan?"

"Sure." Declan called over from the sofa. "Will Mitzeee be picking him up?"

"Yeah." Ste replied, laughing. "Honestly, what is he like?" He directed at Brendan.

"Chip off the old block." Brendan replied, wistful smile on his face. "Makes a nice change that it means something good."

"Hey, are you gonna…" Ste lowered his voice, prompting Brendan to lean in closer. "Tell Declan… about Seamus?" Ste hated to bring it up but he'd been wondering it ever since Declan had arrived. Even though Declan believed that his dad didn't murder Seamus, he still didn't know the whole truth.

"Steven…" Brendan pulled away, eyes wide with undisguised fear. "I can't."

Ste was sorry to have mentioned it; he hated seeing Brendan in such pain.

"It's okay, you don't have to. I just wondered." Ste daren't touch him right now but gave him a comforting smile which Brendan eventually returned.

Ste served the waffles at the table, giving Phoenix a few cushions to sit on. He cut them up on his plate, letting him eat with his fingers without the use of plastic cutlery he usually had.

"I feel silly." He said sulkily, looking at his sticky hands.

"No need, little man." Brendan said, discarding his own knife and fork and using his hands like Phoenix. He ate messily, getting sauce all over his moustache. Phoenix squealed delightedly, mimicking him. Ste couldn't help smiling, even though Mitzeee would kill him later for getting his clothes so messy.

"Who did Mitzeee have a baby with anyway?" Declan asked curiously.

"Riley Costello." Brendan answered, a little distastefully. Ste shot him a warning look. "Top bloke." He added quickly, smiling at Phoenix.

"Ste's like my daddy now." Phoenix said proudly.

Ste felt himself flush with pride. "Aw, mate…" He ruffled his hair affectionately.

"But Ste loves Brendan, not Mummy." Phoenix said knowledgeably. Declan couldn't disguise his grin.

"You're what, three?" Declan laughed a little. "Smart kid."

"Tell me about it." Brendan murmured, smiling.

They finished their breakfast, throwing their coats on and stepping outside. Brendan scooped Phoenix up onto his shoulders, taking a little longer than normal to straighten.

"Feeling it in your back?" Ste teased, flashing him a grin.

"Don't be cute." Brendan said, giving him a look. "My back's fine."

"You are getting on a bit though, Dad." Declan pointed out. "Maybe you should consider settling down." He winked at him and Ste. Ste felt the colour rising in his cheeks.

"Shut up." He said, looking away. Brendan stared at him, mouth twitching in amusement.

"Someone's gone shy." Brendan noted, giving him a gentle nudge.

"No I'm not." Ste said sulkily, walking ahead of them. Brendan and Declan laughed behind him.

Ste was relieved to finally arrive at the club. Brendan touched the small of his back in apology but he was still smiling. Ste returned the smile, trying to ignore the warmth in his belly that had been present since the teasing started.

His dad was behind the bar when they went upstairs. He smiled broadly when he saw Ste, the smile fading when he clocked Brendan, Declan and Phoenix behind him.

"I hope you don't mind, Mitzeee needed to be somewhere."

"It's fine." Sam replied airily. "He can play in the office."

"He's gonna need something to do." Ste said, chewing on his bottom lip.

"Hang on." Brendan said, putting Phoenix down and rushing into the office. Sam stared after him, mouth gaping open.

Brendan returned a few moments later, paper and colouring crayons in his hand.

"Where did you get those?" Sam asked in astonishment.

"Kept them under a loose floorboard in the office." Brendan said, handing them over to Phoenix.

"What for?"

Brendan straightened, looking at Sam carefully. "Leah used to colour here, I kept them in case she came back." He swallowed visibly.

Ste stepped closer to him, resting his hand on his arm. "She will soon." He whispered reassuringly. Brendan nodded, not taking his eyes off of Sam. There was an uncomfortable silence until Declan broke it.

"We'll be in here then." He said warily, taking Phoenix by the hand and walking into the office. He left the door open, settling next to Phoenix on the sofa. Brendan strode in after him, handing Declan his phone.

"It's got internet, go nuts." He said. Declan nodded gratefully at him.

"Where do you want us then?" Ste asked chirpily.

"Stock taking." Sam told him after a moment's pause.

"Oh." Ste frowned, feeling a little embarrassed. "Can Bren help? I'm not too good with reading the names."

"If you like." Sam said, straining a smile. It made Ste uncomfortable, this bad blood between them. Brendan said nothing, steering Ste downstairs to the cellar. Once they were alone Ste relaxed.

"Not sure how long I can keep this up." He admitted, leaning against some crates.

"What?" Brendan asked, taking the stock sheet out of Ste's hands and beginning to count by the crate load.

"All this tension, it's giving me a headache." Ste rubbed his temple for good measure.

"Just try and carry on as normal." Brendan told him, whizzing through the sheet at an alarming rate.

"You know, I did the stock when you were away the last time, took me twice as long though."

"It's not a problem, Steven." Brendan said. "I'm just used to doing it."

"You can read properly." Ste responded, trying to keep the embarrassment out of his voice.

"Ye can read too." Brendan said, handing him the sheet. "Give it a try."

Ste squinted at the paper. "Most of them are fine, it's these long ones. But some I can recognise anyway."

"Have ye ever thought of getting some help with it?" Brendan asked carefully, not wanting to offend him.

Ste shrugged. "Never had time really, plus I hated school. Teachers had no clue how to help me, thought I was just playing up because I was trouble, not because I needed someone to ask what was wrong."

Brendan blinked at him, odd expression on his face.

"What?" Ste asked nervously.

"Same for me." Brendan said after a while, voice gruff.

Ste stared at the floor, fists clenching. "I used to wish Seamus had lived, you know? So I could kill him myself."

"Steven!" Brendan exclaimed, stunned.

"What? It's true. I wanted to get my hands around his neck and-" Ste made a violent gesture in mid-air. Brendan relaxed, smiling at him.

"Ye are something else, ye know that?"

"Yeah, well just know I've got your back, okay? I know I'm a bit skinny and I tend to get myself hit by mini-buses and blown up in fires but I'd kill anyone who tried to take you away from me." Ste had surprised himself with his speech, said with such conviction and honesty. Brendan sobered, wrapping his arms around him in response.

"Ditto." He whispered against him, kissing his neck tenderly.

The rest of their shift passed by uneventfully. Mitzeee came in around lunchtime to pick Phoenix up, leaving Declan stumbling over his words and staring after her as she went.

"She's gorgeous." He said, mesmerised.

"Uh huh." Brendan laughed, ruffling his hair. "Stick to girls yer own age, son."

"Well I'm not taking a leaf out of your book, that's for sure." Declan said, winking at Ste.

"Right." Brendan rolled his eyes. Ste was proud of him; not long ago Declan's words would have brought him intense relief, now he was happy as long as Declan was.

Their shift ended at six that night. Ste never understood the need for daytime shifts; all they did was stock take and clean. He preferred to be buzzing around the bar, serving drinks and chatting to customers. A few came in at lunchtime but it was still relatively quiet. Just as Ste was gathering his bag to leave, Sam came up to him hastily.

"Really sorry to do this but two of the staff have called in sick tonight." Sam gritted his teeth in annoyance. "Do you mind staying a bit longer? Until I can arrange some cover?"

"Course." Ste put his bag back down. "I'm sure Bren will stay too." Ste looked at him for confirmation. Brendan was already back behind the bar, arranging things with ease.

"Not a problem, Samuel."

Sam stared at him coolly. "Thanks, I appreciate it."

Ste stared between the two of them warily. "Listen, Dad. Could I have a quick word?" Ste asked, lowering his voice.

Sam nodded, gesturing that they go into the office. Ste could feel Brendan's eyes on them the entire way. It was both comforting and unnerving to know he was keeping watch over him. He had nothing to fear when it came to Sam though, not really.

"What is it, son?" Sam asked the moment the door was closed. Ste perched on the edge of the sofa, looking at him steadily.

"Do you have a problem with Brendan?" He asked, getting straight to the point.

"What? No." Sam said quickly, too quickly for Ste's liking.

"I've seen the way you look at him sometimes." Ste said. "I'm not stupid."

"I know you aren't." Sam answered quietly. He sighed heavily. "The truth is, I'm worried about you."

Ste frowned at him. "Why?"

"Why?" Sam repeated. "I've heard…rumours. About him, about you. About both of you."

"You can't let village gossip worry you." Ste said reasonably.

"So he didn't beat you up when you were together?" Sam asked, breathing through his nose. He was obviously upset but trying not to let it show.

Ste blinked, stunned. "Who told you that?"

"Anyone and everyone. Since he arrived I've been finding out more and more about him, and none of it is good." Sam said, eyes blazing intensely.

"Dad…" Ste didn't know what to say. He couldn't defend Brendan for his actions or attempt to explain the complexity of their relationship. Instead he settled for the truth of the present. "He's changed. He wants to make it right. Before he went to prison he really made progress, for the most part."

"For the most part, exactly." Sam knelt in front of him, taking him by the shoulders. "I don't want to see you get hurt. I left you with Terry for all those years and look what happened. I can't have it happen all over again."

"It won't." Ste said imploringly. "I'm a big boy; I've learnt a lot in the past twenty-six years than most people my age. I can handle it. I know him, Dad. I love him. I won't give him up, I can tell you that much."

Sam peered into his face, seemingly searching for something. He nodded as though satisfied.

"I trust you, Steven. I'll make more of an effort. But if there's ever a problem you know that I'll be here, okay? You won't be alone."

"I know that. Thanks, Dad." Ste smiled then, holding out his arms. Sam pulled him up into an embrace.

"Love you, kid." He murmured against him.

"You too, Dad." Ste replied.

They pulled apart, Sam clapping him on the shoulder before he went out of the office. Brendan was still behind the bar, gazing at the now opened door. Ste gave him a pointed look and Brendan had the good grace to look apologetic.

The club filled up fast; Sam spent a great deal of time in the office getting in touch with other staff to cover. Ste didn't mind, he was enjoying himself. He hadn't worked a night shift yet; Sam hadn't been sure if he was ready for it. He felt more relaxed like this than he did during the day. He supposed it was because with all the life and bodies buzzing around the place, it was easy to forget what had happened here.

Brendan seemed more comfortable too, serving and keeping an eye on everything in Sam's absence. The villagers stared at him often, as though wondering when he might snap. Ste resented them for it, and glared at any who tried to rile him.

Unfortunately one of the punters got a little hands on with Ste as he walked through the crowd back to the bar. He was drunk and in his late twenties. Ste didn't recognise him so he figured he must be from out of the village. Brendan clocked him easily enough, striding over purposefully, face full of thunder.

"Err, mate I would go if I were you." Ste told the guy, trying to help him out.

"Back to mine, yeah?" He slurred, wrapping an arm around Ste's waist.

Ste laughed, pulling away from him. "I tried to warn you." He said, as Brendan closed in on them.

"Is there a problem?" He asked, grabbing the guy by the scruff of his shirt.

"What? No! I was just chatting."

"Didn't look like it from where I was standing." Brendan growled, face inches from the guys.

"It's a free country, init?" The guy, rather bravely Ste thought, argued.

"I don't know, ask all the men I met when I was in prison a few weeks ago." Brendan snarled.

The guy's eyes widened in fear. "Sorry, mate. I don't want any trouble."

"If ye sniff around my boy again I'll kill ye, understand?" Brendan gave him a shove in the direction of the stairs, where he tripped over himself in his haste to get away.

Ste gave him a level look. "Bit much, don't you think?"

Brendan shrugged, calm once more as he put his own arm around Ste's waist.

"Just doing my bit."

"As what? The jealous boyfriend?"

"I prefer protective boyfriend, or gay lover, or whatever. Ye know that, Steven."

"Hmm." Ste couldn't help but smile. He drew Brendan in for a quick kiss, letting him know exactly who he belonged to.

When Brendan turned back towards the bar, Ste spotted his dad watching them from a distance, unreadable expression on his face.

They ended up staying until ten o'clock. Ste was exhausted by the time they were done. He rubbed at his sore feet, longing for a hot bath when they got home.

"And you have a proper shower, heavenly." He groaned.

"I hope Declan's been keeping himself suitably amused." Brendan said, switching his phone on and off. "Battery." He explained.

"What, you think he might have had a girl round?" Ste grinned, deeply amused by the thought.

"So long as it isn't Anne…" Brendan began. He frowned at his phone. "Huh." He said.

"What?" Ste asked curiously.

"I don't recognise that number." Brendan said, putting the phone to his ear. Ste waited patiently as Brendan listened to whatever the message was. His face suddenly became drained, paler than usual. Ste tensed immediately, fearing the worst. He daren't move forwards; he waited with wide eyes and baited breath for Brendan to hang up.

"Who was it?" He asked the minute Brendan was off the phone.

"Solicitor." Brendan said, dazed.

"Oh no." Ste felt himself begin to shake. "What's wrong? Are they taking you back to prison? What happened? Was it the guy earlier?" He was babbling but he didn't care. Brendan took a moment out of his own bewilderment to wrap his arms tightly around him.

"Shh, calm down. It's not that. It was Seamus' solicitor."

Ste paused, not feeling comforted. "What did he want?"

"They delayed reading out the will, on account of me being inside and other loose ends to tie up."

"What?" Ste pulled away from him. "He actually left you something?"

"Sounds it." Brendan stared away, grinding his teeth together.

"Did they call Cheryl?"

"Yeah, they said."

Ste considered this. "Are you gonna go?"

"I don't know." Brendan admitted. "It's next week, in Ireland."

"We could both go." Ste offered.

"Maybe." Brendan said, hesitant. "I'd have to face Chez."

"Right, yeah." Ste laid his head against his chest. "You don't have to decide anything right now though."

"No. He's calling back tomorrow." Brendan said carefully. "I guess if I did go I could go back with Declan, he's leaving next week as well."

"We should all go. I should go." Ste said determinedly.

"Ye don't have to get involved-"

"I want to. You might need me there." Ste said firmly. "Especially with Cheryl. She'll be pissed you didn't let her know you were out."

"True." Brendan murmured. "Would yer dad let us have the time off though?"

"Yeah, I can talk to him." Ste said. "We had a little chat earlier, he's willing to try more, with you."

"That's very big of him." Brendan said, unable his disguise his annoyance.

"He's been asking around about you in the village." Ste explained quickly. "You know what people are like, don't take it personally."

"I don't care what they think, Steven. I care what you think."

Ste snuggled closer to him, hoping to transfer some of his good feeling towards Brendan.

"Then we'll do it together." He said resolutely. "Okay?"

"Okay." Brendan agreed, lips brushing the top of his head. "Thank ye."

"That's what gay lovers are for." Ste smiled. Inside however, he was terrified. He couldn't lose Brendan to his dad; even the memory of him was enough to break him into pieces. Ste held on tighter, trying to hold it together. He would have to be the brave one here, for Brendan's sake. He'd be damned if they were going to prove the villagers and Sam right about the two of them. They could get through it. Ste clung to that resolve like his very life depended on it. Truth was, it did.