Meredith pulled her car into Izzie's driveway and began making her way towards the house. It was early in the morning, not quite 8am. She hadn't planned on coming quite this early but her worrying got the better of her. She didn't want Izzie up waiting for her, for some reason she didn't think that would be a good idea. She knocked on the door and waited a moment, Izzie didn't answer. She wasn't expecting her to but habit told her she should knock, it wasn't her house but she did have a key, she used it to unlock to door and she walked inside.

"Izzie," she called as walked into the house. "I'm here."

She walked slowly up the hallway of the house. She walked past the kitchen and stuck her head inside. She was expecting to see a mess of bowls, and trays and flour everywhere but the only sign that baking had occurred were two baskets of muffins sitting on the counter. She walked deeper into the house and checked the bathroom, she thought Izzie might have curled up on the floor there but she wasn't there.

"Izzie," she called again before stepping into the bedroom. She looked around, the bed was unmade but she wasn't there. She walked further into the bedroom and checked the closet but Izzie hadn't curled up into Alex's shirts, she didn't seem to be anywhere.

Slowly she began walking back towards the front door. She called out a few more times but there wasn't any answer, she didn't really expect one. "Where are you?" she said to herself. She was beginning to think Izzie might have left the house; that she might have gone wondering. She hadn't thought about that last night, she hadn't considered the idea that Izzie might leave. She was about to kick herself when she noticed a faint blue light glowing under the door to the front room. She hadn't looked in there, she'd shut the door to that room weeks ago and hadn't expected it to be opened for sometime.

She twisted the handle and pushed the door when she saw what was inside she let out a small gasp. The room was not how she'd left it all those weeks before; instead it looked like something had exploded in it. Scattered all over the floor were boxes and wrapping paper, every present had been opened and curled up on the sofa was Izzie. She was sounds asleep with the remote to the DVD player resting in her hand.

"Iz," she stepped closer to her, she was going to wake her up but then she changed her mind. She didn't want to wake her, she might have been sleeping for hours but she could have only just fallen asleep. Sleep, in moderation was important. Instead she ripped off a piece of wrapping paper and wrote a note.

Izzie,

I came by this morning but you were sleeping. I didn't want to wake you. Phone me when you wake up and I'll give you a ride to the hospital. Everything is going to be fine.

-Meredith.

She stuck the note to the door and quietly left the house.

-8-8-8-8-

A smile lay across Izzie's face, she was still asleep, she was still dreaming, the sun was streaming in through the window bathing her in a glowing light. It was early afternoon, she'd been asleep well over ten hours, her body taking in the drug free sleep it had been craving without her knowing.

In the kitchen the phone started ringing, four rings and then the answering machine flicked on.

"Hello!... Oh hey, it's Alex."

The sound of his voice the filled the silent house and Izzie's eyes opened.

"Actually, we're not home, leave a message after the tone."

She listened to the sound of the machine click over and then the beep of a disconnecting line, another telemarketer. She lay on the sofa and stared at the blue screen of the television, in her hand the remote for the DVD player still sat, she pressed the play button and watched as the images of their wedding filled the screen. She was still mesmerized by it, drawn to it.

"Alex." She found herself whispering under her breath. She closed her eyes again and tried to capture him, she wanted him back but he was no longer hers to have, she couldn't take him, she couldn't force him to come. She knew that now, there was something he said, something he'd told her, she hadn't understood it at the time but she did now. He wanted her to take care of herself, the more she did, the more he would come. Sleeping pills were not the answer, for weeks her dreams had been nothing more than her searching because he couldn't reach her, or she couldn't reach him, they were too far apart.

She watched the film all the way to the end and then slowly sat up. She could have lay there all day watching it but that's not what she needed to do, what she had to do today. She climbed to her feet and as she did she looked around the room. She couldn't believe how much stuff surrounded her, all these things people had given her, had given them. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do with it all, but right then that wasn't her concern. She walked to the door and pulled down Meredith's note. It made her smile a little, she liked that her friend had let her sleep and then still thought it was necessary to leave a note.

She made her way into the kitchen, she was hungry, a feeling which she hadn't consciously felt for a long time. In the last few months she'd developed a strange relationship with food, she kept herself busy to the point of exhaustion, where food much like sleep was only something she did when she was told to. She was hungry now though, she had finally stopped, slowed down enough to feel. There wasn't any food in the house though, only the muffins she'd made the night before. She took a muffin, bit into it, and savored the chocolate taste. She began walking through her house and into the bathroom, she'd have a shower and get herself cleaned up, then she'd give Meredith a call and get her to pick her up.

She was feeling better today, more together and sure of herself. The sleep had done wonders for her state of mind, she was still scared and worried but Alex had clamed her in her dreams. He'd told her so many times that it would be okay that she was starting to believe it. She wouldn't day dream about a child though, she wouldn't allow herself that luxury just yet.