"$Captain.$" Chydla prompted. "$There's a Latemsnart Lazunbi and a Drego Intron carrying a Hot-Cut-Wire this way.$"
"$That sounds like a very unfunny joke.$" Hollin said.
"$I'm not laughing either, Captain.$"
I saw a large white, flying creature (kind of like a pterodactyl, but with a squirrel tail) and a big green, black, and yellow humanoid insect holding either end of a thick rope that glowed orange.
They flew a hundred feet below us and they flew on either side of the Great Elevator tube, such that the glowing wire went through the tube, cutting it. When the Elevator lowered to the place where it had been cut, it jerked to a stop.
Then the two creatures flew back and cut the tube directly above our heads, making us all (except Bone) duck.
((Ha Ha Ha Ha.)) Gwarver laughed.
Then we saw a big brown and orange bird fly toward us. One with a very hard-looking head.
"Uh-oh" I said.
"Eotto'ot!" Hollin identified.
((What's that mean?)) Bone asked.
"Trouble." Babylon answered.
"Bone, morph something small." I commanded.
((But, Boss . . .))
"Don't argue with me, Bonehead! Morph something small."
((But I can . . .))
"BONEHEAD VON BUFFALO, YOU WILL DO AS I SAY!"
((Okay, but if I go splat on the ground below us, it's your fault.))
The Eotto'ot, as predicted, headbutted our elevator as Bonehead was halfway through his morph of an animal I didn't recognize. I wish I knew what it was; How am I supposed to make good leader decisions if I don't know what Bone is turning into?
The Elevator lurched forward and began to tip over. Bone was shrinking, but this caused a shift in mass and we fell completely over.
The elevator was now sideways falling through the sky. Hollin and Chydla wrapped their tentacles around the banisters on the wall, gripping for dear life. Babylon did the same with his wrist blades and hands. Bone was in the morph of a parrot-sized insect that looked like one of those spider-shaped viruses. He had mantis-ish claws and a termite head with a vast Kelsey Grammer-like forehead. He was using his four insect legs, his mantis claws and his large, stag-beetle-like mouth parts to hold onto the elevator.
I morphed to the ever useful alien morph, the Metracroyle. I used its acid spray and made a hole big enough for me to fly out of. Once I caught wind and was able to fly, I grabbed the falling elevator with my four mighty talons.
Unfortunately, my talons were not mighty enough. We were still falling, but we were falling slower. Three of the Terrormorphs (yes, I'm using Bone's word) then descended upon us. I didn't want to use my acid spray since that could fall on the elevator, but I still had a sharp beak. The Drego Intron came at me with four insect arms that were little more than scythe blades. I clamped my beak around its insect head and flipped him end over end. The Eotto'ot bird with the hard skull came at me and I risked it enough to send a spray of acid right at its noggin.
((AAAAAAAH!)) cried a though-speech scream as the eotto'ot veered off.
Then the big, white Lazunbi soared down. He stayed out of reach of my beak and acid spray and tried to poke his stegosaurus-like head into the hole I made in the elevator.
((Time to die, saboteurs!)) said the lazunbi.
((Like Hell it is!)) Bone shouted as he leaped from the piece of the Elevator he was gripping to and latched himself to the side of the Lazunbi's neck.
((ACK!!)) the lazunbi shouted as it recoiled from the falling elevator.
((BONE!!)) I shouted. What was that idiot doing? Was he trying to get himself killed?
Bone had managed to crawl to the back of the lazunbi's neck. Then he sunk his large pincer mouthparts into the lazunbi's neck, like some alien insect vampire.
((AAAAAAH!)) the Lazunbi screamed as it tumbled through the air. ((GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME!! GET IT OFF ME!!))
(('Touch me now and I don't care/ When you take me I'm not there/ Almost human, but I'll never be the same.')) Bone thought-sang.
"Is he singing again?" I heard Babylon faintly scream through the wind noise.
(('Loooooooong Waaaaaaaay Dooooooooown./ I don't think I'll make it on my own/ Loooooooong Waaaaaaaay Dooooooooown!/ I don't wanna live in here, alone/ Loooooooong Waaaaaaaay Dooooooooown./ I don't think I'll make it on myyyyyyy own!'))
((Bone thinks he's funny. At least it isn't a boy band song.)) I muttered.
"$Look! A hovercraft is heading our way.$" I faintly heard Chydla yelled.
A yellow vehicle raced through the sky to us. "$Captain Hollin!$" said a voice on a speaker. A familiar voice. "$We're coming up to get you.$"
"$Oh no!$" Hollin muttered
"$Is it Gwarver?$" Babylon asked.
"$Worse.$" Hollin gulped. "$It's Dr. Orbin's horny lab partner.$"
((We're not talking about Klika Rowach-468, are we?))
Sure enough as the hovercraft flew over us than dove down next to the slowly falling broken elevator tube, I could see the familiar form of my other old friend (the one with the grabby-tentacles), Klika Rowach-468. Last time I was with the Dayangs, Klika made eyes at my dayang morph. I guess she's moved on.
The Hovercraft had six 'seats' (even if it didn't have actual seats). A young male dayang sat in the driver's seat. Klika sat in the seat to his right. The seat to his left and the three seats in back were empty. The entire vehicle was covered by a transparent hemisphere of plastic, like a flying car from "The Jetsons".
The transparent hatch flipped open. "$All aboard, that's coming aboard.$" Klika greeted as Hollin jumped out of the hole I made with the acid and leaped into the left passenger seat. Chydla and Babylon jumped into the back seat.
((Oh no, you don't!)) shouted the Lazunbi who was flapping hard to get back up to us. Bone was no longer on him.
((Where's my soldier, terrorist?)) I asked him.
((I dropped the big bug into the water down there. Hope he can swim.))
((That's water? It looks like grass.)) I said amazed.
((Water is green. Grass is pink. Welcome to Gianna Draquen.)) The Lazunbi taunted at me. ((I shall now be collecting your visitor's tax . . . in blood!))
((How about an elevator tube?)) I asked as my four talons released the heavy piece of metal and plastic and it landed on the Lazunbi's back. The Lazunbi began to tumble down again.
((I definitely should have seen that coming.)) I heard the Lazunbi say.
((Let's get down to the water. Bone's down there!)) I commanded.
"The Drego Intron and the Eotto'ot are coming around!" Babylon reported.
((I'll handle them, you guys find Bone!))
As the hovercraft floated down toward the green water, the drego intron came at me. I sprayed my gas, hoping to confuse the terrormorph. I was also hoping the gas would irritate it.
((Mmmmm, Dramnay fresh.)) the drego intron said. I guess not. ((What a strange animal to emit a gas that smells like fruit.))
((That's not all it emits.)) I said as I spat acid. He dodged but I hit his backmost right leg. He then flew around and tried to pounce on me from above, but I tapped into the metracroyle's instincts and whirled my tail for a sudden burst of speed. Most of my body flew past the drego intron, but he was still able to hack off a piece of my tail.
The loss of my tail not only killed all my speed, but complicated my steering. I was maintaining all right, but the eotto'ot was on its way to headbutt me.
So I went for broke and flared my wings, giving it a beakful of talon instead. The collision caused us to tumble end over end, still attempting to bite or claw one another. My other three talons attempted to rip apart the rest of the eotto'ot's body while the eotto'ot was using its two talons to claw up my chest.
Still we fell, and in the struggle, I was able to clamp my four talons on the bird's back as I snapped my beak around its neck. The terrormorph attempted to throw me off with its wings, but no dice. I felt like I was actually going to make it out of there alive.
So naturally, that's when we crashed.
I was expecting to splash in water, but as we got closer to the surface I noticed we were falling toward a small little island, not even the size of a basketball court.
The eotto'ot went beak first into the dark red ground causing a craterous skid mark, like an airplane crash. I on the other hand was catapulted into what I guess was a shack of some sort. I landed on my back on the roof, which in turn fell in and I continued to fall to the floor. I fell on some hard sticks and assessed my injuries. One wing was broken; one wing was sprained. I twisted one of my talons out of joint and piece of my upper beak was chipped off and bleeding bright yellow blood. I demorphed to rid myself of my injuries and then hugged the ground, not wanting to be away from it for awhile.
I remembered that there were still flying Terrormorphs around and that I didn't know where Bone and the others were. I looked around where I had landed and that's when I noticed that the hard sticks I landed on weren't sticks.
They were bones. Some of which were broken.
I walked out of what was left of the shack and I noticed that entire little island that the terrormorph and I crashed into was littered with the bones of dayangs.
The eotto'ot stumbled to get up. At the same time, the drego intron landed in front of me. I could now see that this frightful and monstrous insect was only about four feet tall.
((I'm going to stab you. Stab! Stab!)) said the drego intron. This must be Krull.
"$Stop Krull. Look around. Something bad happened here.$" I said in Galard, hoping he understood.
((Something bad is about to happen here!)) Krull responded.
((Wait a moment, Krull. He's right. This place is like the inside of a burial cave.)) said the eotto'ot.
((The dead don't scare me, Lebla. I'm a serial killer, remember?)) Krull retorted. ((So this is the great Sir David Hunting. The morphing human who nearly took down the Abominable Visser Three and destroyed Captain Gwarver's chance at wryphat'd. Doesn't look like much. I mean, sure, his big arms look scary, but he's got no tentacles. Only two legs. I'm gonna stab him. I'm gonna stab him good!))
"Go ahead and try, Psychopath." I dared him in my own language.
((What'd he say?)) Krull asked.
((He dared you to kill him. Then he called you crazy.)) Lebla translated
Krull began to wave his four scythe-like insect arms. ((I'm not CRAZY! I'm a fracture! I'm going to kill him and take his head as my trophy!))
The white Lazunbi flew by our island at top speed.
((RETREAT!! RETREAT!!)) It yelled.
((What the Great Measure is wrong with you, Frozeon?)) Lebla asked.
((Every heist you gotta be saying my name. I said 'IT'S COMING!' RETREAT!!)) Frozeon repeated.
((Krull the Serial Killer retreats from nothing!!!)) Krull boasted.
A large yellow-green fish-like head rose from the water. It was twice as big around as a Taxxon.
((Except that.)) Krull amended as he flew away quickly.
((A Nogradandy!)) Lebla identified. ((We'll kill you later, Mr. Big Boom, provided there is a later!)) With that the eotto'ot beat wing off the island of death.
The sea serpent raised its head to about seven feet high. Its mouth was large enough so that it could chomp me down in one bite. For whatever reason it didn't occur to me to fly away, so I ran. I ran as fast I could.
As a garatron.
As I ran at speeds that could give the Flash a run for his money, I ran out of island to run on and began running on the water, putting a lot of distance between me and the yellow-green sea-worm. My garatron eyes spotted something yellow moving slowly in circles on the water. Then again, in this morph, everything moves slowly.
As I ran closer I could identify it as Klika's friend's hovercraft. I could see four dayangs and a purple Hork-Bajir in it. I watched as Klika slowly lifted Bone, still in that parrot-sized bug morph, out of the water and into the hovercraft. I took my chance and raced in and stood next to Babylon, who was sitting on what appeared to be a fold-out chair attached to the hovercraft.
As soon as I did that, Hollin, Klika, Chydla, and Babylon slowly turned their heads to face me.
I demorphed. It's ironic that I don't have the patience to be in the morph of a fast animal.
"Hey, what's going on?" I said flippantly.
"$Was that a garatron?$" asked the driver.
"$It was. Now, I'd really like it if we could be in the sky now!$" I asked in Galard
((Are we in a hurry, Boss?)) Bone asked me, perched on Klika's shoulder.
"Sea Monster! Big Sea Monster!" I pushed.
"$We can run from whatever wildlife you encountered just as well along the surface of the water than up in the air.$" the driver said.
"I'd much prefer the air!"
"$We can't go too far into the air; we'll disturb the wild life. I'm not endangering my planet's ecosystem just because you have an ignorant fear of what is most likely a harmless sea creature you just don't know anything about.$"
"I know it's called a Nogradandy."
"Nogradandy???!!!" yelled the other three Dayangs.
"$All right then; It's into the air we go.$" said the driver in Galard.
The hovercraft hovered along the surface of the water like an airplane on a runway before getting into the air.
"$First no Floater upgrade, then no Vertical Take-Off Boosters.$" Klika teased in Draque. "$You really went bare structure with your hovercraft, didn't you nephew?$"
"$That's not nice, Aunt Klika. You try affording all the fingers and toes on a xenobiologist's salary!$" retorted the driver in Draque.
Klika's nephew? I thought for a second, but then I remembered there was this giant sea serpent chasing me. I looked behind me and saw the green ocean surface falling beneath me.
But then from the falling ocean surface, came the yellow-green fish head. It leaped from the ocean like it was auditioning for Free Willy IV. It flew up to meet us at a shocking speed. It nearly clamped down on the back of the hovercraft, but it missed by a few inches and started to fall headfirst back to the sea, with its long serpent body covered in fish fins following behind it.
"$Oh, damnation, it IS a Nogradandy!$ said the driver.
"Don't worry. You flew us high enough." I reassured him.
"$That's not going to save us.$" the driver replied darkly.
I looked back behind to us to see the sea serpent called the Nogradandy. It swam under us and once again it leapt from the ocean surface, but this time it spread its fins as it exited the water. The Nogradandy reached the top of his leap.
And stayed there.
"BULL. SHIT!" I yelled in shock as I realized what was happening. The Nogradandy could fly. "No fucking way. You gotta be shitting me!"
And now it was following us.
"$Sir David, may I suggest harnessing yourself.$" Hollin said.
I wasn't sure how the harness worked, but Babylon showed me. It was basically two restraining straps on my ankles and thick belt around my abdomen with a cuff for a tail I didn't have.
"$Is it a Terrormorph?$" Chydla asked.
"Doubtful, that thing scared off three of them, including the serial killer."
"$Is this the vehicle's top speed?$" Hollin asked the driver.
"$Yes, and if you call my hovercraft cheap ONE MORE TIME, Aunt Klika . . . .$" the driver warned.
"It's flying above us. It's flying above us." I reported.
((It's gonna bite down on us from above.)) Bone theorized.
"$Head for land. Head for land!$" Klika repeated.
"$What do you think I'm doing? Stop side-seat piloting!$" yelled her nephew. "$We're almost there, but you know that still won't save us!$"
"You mean that thing is also amphibious?" I asked.
"$Well, it certainly isn't breathing water in the sky!$"
((You can't always run from a King Cat.)) Bone stated. ((You need to use your horns or die.))
"What?" I asked.
((Does this ship have any weapons?))
"$That's the one finger no civilian hovercraft comes with.$" the driver said in Galard.
"$This doesn't.$" said Babylon in Galard. "$I do.$"
"Babylon, what are you doing?" I asked.
"$Running away. Bad Idea.$" Babylon said as he reached into his bag. "$Shredder Pulse Wave. Good Idea.$"
((Almost lunch time!)) Bone warned as the Nogradandy was about to snap its jaws on us.
"$Open the hatch!$" Hollin commanded.
The driver complied and Babylon threw the shredder pulse wave emitter into the mouth of the Nogradandy. The driver quickly closed the hatch as we noticed a flash of light glowing from the Nogradandy's belly.
The shock of the blast sent the flying sea serpent toppling end over end in the sky.
Unfortunately this caused it to hit us with either its head or tail (It was hard to tell at that point). The result was that WE were now toppling end to end.
"I feel like throwing up." I said. "I kinda miss that feeling."
"$I can't get control.$" said the driver.
"$Let me guess: no gyro-stabilizers either.$" Klika snidely commented.
"$Not the time, Auntie!$"
"$Are we crashing into land or ocean?$" Chydla asked.
"$Does it matter?$" Babylon asked in HBA-L.
I hung for dear life onto two handholds above me (though they might have technically been designed as tentacle-holds). Bone was still in that weird bug morph so he just hung onto the floor with his insect parts.
The Dayangs commenced to panic screaming.
"$AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!$" Klika screamed.
"$WE'RE CRASHING!$" Chydla yelled.
"$BRACE FOR IMPACT!!!$" Hollin warned.
"$I DON'T WANT TO DIE A VIRGIN!!!!!!$" The driver blurted.
WHAM! The Hovercraft hit the ground nose first. We teetered a bit before we landed right-side up, which felt like a severe kick in the ass, but better that than cracking our heads open, I suppose. The force of the landing cracked the plastic dome around us.
"$Uuuuuuuuh! Did we make it?$" Klika asked.
"$I think so, Auntie.$" her nephew reassured.
"$Casualty report!$" Commanded Hollin, switching back to Galard protocol.
"$I'm fine, Captain." Chydla reported.
"$Klika, any injuries?$" Hollin asked.
Klika groaned in a high-pitched way. "$Just enough to make look . . . . interesting.$"
The way Klika displayed her tentacles was interpreted by my implant as . . . . sultry. Hitting on him now? I forgot how shameless Klika could be. I thought that was how all Dayang females were, but Chydla seemed to be able to control herself.
"$Very well, then. You, citizen?$" Hollin asked the driver.
"$Nothing a kilo of tranq wouldn't cure.$" said the driver. "$And the name is Farser. Farser Rowach-467. Please remember the name of the poor xenobiologist who wrecked his hovercraft at his crazy aunt's whim to rescue the aliens that are supposed to rescue us.$"
"$Sir David, are you and your cohorts injured?$"
"I'm a little banged up, but I'm good." I said. "Babylon?"
"$Shredder Pulse Wave. Dumb Idea.$" said a slightly bleeding hork-bajir.
"Don't worry about it, Babylon." I chuckled. I spotted the parrot-sized bug walking around my feet as if it were drunk and picked it up. Bone's morph had two compound eyes and two simple ones. I couldn't assess his compound eyes, but his simple eyes couldn't seem to focus on anything. "Bone?"
(('You got a fast car/ I got a ticket to anywhere/ Maybe we can make a deal/ Maybe together we can get somewhere'.))
"He'll be fine. He just needs to demorph."
"$Then let's get out of this wreck.$" Hollin suggested.
"$Dome won't lift or retract.$" Farser announced.
Not soon enough for Babylon, he stood up and hit his head and top horn on the cracked dome, which shattered it.
"$Yes, of course.$" Farser grumbled as small pieces of plastic rained down on him.
As four Dayangs, a hork-bajir, a human, and an alien bug escaped the wrecked hovercraft, we heard the faraway splash of something large landing in the water.
"$That would be the Nogradandy. I don't know what condition it's in, but just in case it's awake and angry we should leave and head for the city.$"
"$Military emergency vehicles should already be on their way to our location.$" Hollin said.
"$My Captain, there is also the Terrormorphs to consider.$" Chydla reminded.
"Terrormorphs?" Farser repeated the made-up English word.
"$The codename Sir Bonehead assigned to Gwarver's terrorists.$" Chydla explained.
"$'Terrormorphs'. Good name.$" Farser replied while his compound eye glowed bright. His upper two tentacles were raised as his lower two tentacles lay prone on the ground. My translator implant interpreted these gestures differently, but altogether, it meant that Farser was obviously smitten with Chydla and didn't have a fucking clue on how to deal with it. He was kind of like Marco, but without the charm. Farser must have realized he was staring and mooning like an idiot and tried to look and sound official. "$Er, ar, nar . . . I mean, the metro-trail shouldn't be too far from here, and once we got off the beach we should be able to see any oncoming emergency vehicles.$"
"Let's give Bone a minute to demorph first." I requested. "Bone, can you hear me?"
((Lion pride, my hairy butt! Where'd my hair go? I HAVE ARMS!!!!)) Bone babbled.
"You're in morph, remember? Demorph, and maybe your head will clear." I said I placed him down on the ground and let him demorph.
"$I think Sir Bonehead's use of that B'cha B'cha morph was superb.$" Farser commented. "$When we found him, he was using his four legs to skim on the water while paddling with his claws, just as the real b'cha b'cha bugs do on the rivers of the Hork-Bajir World.$"
I gave him a look of confusion as Bone finished his morph.
"$Extraordinary!$" Farser said upon seeing Bone in his own body. "$When I saw the hooves form from the b'cha b'cha, I assumed Sir Bonehead must be an Andalite warrior, but this is quite clearly a Cape Buffalo from the African continent of Terra Firma. Amazing. I wasn't aware that species was sentient.$"
((We're not usually.)) Bone replied. ((My head does feel better now, Boss!))
"$Er . . . ar . . . . I wasn't aware that any Terran species had thought-speech.$"
((I'm a freak of technology.))
"Bone, shut up." I said tersely. I guess I was still pissed at him for disobeying me. I decided to explain my comrades to my dayang friends. "He's mutated, Farser. The technology that did this is also the reason why Babylon has purple skin instead of the usual color. He's new race of Hork-Bajir, genetically engineered."
Farser looked at Babylon with a look that in any species can be interpreted as 'geek wonder'. Babylon looked uncomfortable at Farser's fascination in him.
"Hey!" I prompted. "He may have been born in a lab, but he's still a sentient person with the same rights and desires as you or me."
"$I'm not sure what you mean, Sir David.$" Farser replied.
"It means, quit looking at me like I belong in a glass globe!" Babylon angrily snapped. "I've done that once. Didn't like it."
Oh right, I forgot what Kirag told me about the tragic fate of Brood 10 and Babylon's cursed luck in particular.
Babylon continued to stare down Farser and I felt it was his turn to feel uncomfortable. I decided to break the tension. "How were you able to identify Bone and his morph?" I asked.
Klika answered for him. "$My nephew is one of the leading xenobiologists in Gianna Draquen.$"
Farser's tentacles quivered in a mixed gesture of embarrassment and pride. "$My specialty, obviously, is taxonomy.$"
"You identify animals. I get it." I said.
"$Shall we make our way to the metro-trail, now? We are, after all, trying to avoid detection by morph-capable terrorists.$" Hollin commanded snidely.
As we walked through thin, red shrubs and open fields of pink grass, Bone walked next to me and looked like he wanted to talk to me, but I think he could tell I was mad at him.
I guess he finally got the courage. ((Um, if you're tired, Boss. I can be your 'loyable steed' again.))
"That's fine, Bone. I'm not tired." I replied a little more harshly than I meant to.
((Are you mad at me?)) Bone asked me as if he was five-years-old.
"Why would I be mad at you, Bone? Could it be that you argued with me when I told you to morph something small? Could it be that you attacked a terrormorph without my order?" I replied sarcastically.
((Why do I need an order to defend our friends?)) Bone asked me. It wasn't a snotty question, he asked me as if he truly didn't understand.
"Damnit, Bone. These are morphers. They aren't king cats or tree cats or anything else you've had to fight back in Africa. Your instincts alone aren't gonna cut it anymore. You're more than just an animal now; you're sentient. You need to make decisions based on what's right and wrong, not your pure instincts."
((How am I supposed to ignore my instincts?))
"Don't ignore them. Adapt them. Adapt your instincts and make good decisions, the least of which is to wait for me to give the order before you go attacking morphed creatures. When we are on a mission, you follow orders."
"David, I'm very tired of having this conversation with you, but when we are on a mission, you follow orders." Jake demanded me.
I hate it when I get déjà vu.
((What was I supposed to do? Let Babylon or the dayangs get eaten?))
"Don't mouth off at me, boy. You keep calling me Boss, but you've been nothing but disrespectful, disobedient, and contrary since I took you in. Is this how it was in your herd back home?"
((In the herd, we trusted one another.))
"That wasn't trust. Don't equate your mindless, animal instincts with complex sentient constructs. It's insulting."
((Is that all I am to you? An animal? A beast? That's what you wish I was, don't you?))
"Excuse me?" I angrily shot back at Bone as I stopped walking.
((I heard what you said to Quafijinivon.)) Bone revealed. I was somewhat shocked that he said Quafijinivon's name right. ((You didn't want my head to be fixed. You wanted to take away my morphing power. You wanted to take away the very thing that made me more that what I was born as. Ever since I got my head fixed you've been fighting with me, always telling me I'm wrong or dumb or stupid. And ever since I got my head fixed you have not said it once. Not like she did.)) Bone complained.
"Said what? She who?" I asked, not knowing what he meant.
"$Do you two have to have this argument NOW?$" Hollin complained.
I turned head to him and his compound eye, tentacles, and even his main arms and muzzle all displayed various expressions of annoyance.
"That doesn't explain why you felt the need to attack a dangerous person in a dangerous animal morph as a relatively harmless bug."
((In the herd, we did what was necessary to survive. For the good of the herd. The whole herd.)) Bone said as if that was an answer.
"Maybe the good of this herd is to LISTEN TO ME! You acquire and morph animals without my knowledge or permission. You questioned my orders back in the elevator." I seethed.
"$Seriously, can we resolve this?$" Farser complained. "$You're going to attract the Terrormorphs.$"
"$What's the matter with you, Farser?$" Klika asked. "$Let the boys argue.$"
"I gave you an order, Bone." I continued. "I when I give an order, I expect it to be followed without question."
((I gave you an order, Aleks. I when I give an order, I expect it to be followed without question.))
I hate it even more when I get demonic déjà vu.
((I was trying to tell you I had a bird morph, but you wouldn't listen to me.)) Bone retorted.
"Well, gee, Bonehead, how am I supposed to keep abreast of whatever morphs you have when I don't know what you acquire?"
On the Iskoort Home World, I ate a Boda Salt to give us an edge against the Howlers. The others, for some reason, thought that this was a bad idea.
"Stop being such pussies! I took one, I'm fine." I said.
"You took one?!" Jake responded
"What?"
"You took one, without asking us?"
"What? Am I supposed to ask you every time I eat something? Fuck you!"
"David, I'm very tired of having this conversation with you, but when we are on a mission, you follow orders." Jake demanded me.
"You don't control me, Jake! Except that." I said angrily.
((You could try listening to me and trusting me. Like you said, I'm more than just an animal now. You can't control me!)) Bone continued.
"I'M NOT TRYING TO CONTROL YOU, YOU UNGRATEFUL PISSANT. I'M TRYING TO PROTECT YOU!!!" I exploded.
At that moment, I saw many of my early conflicts with Jake in a different light.
"I think I just got bitch-slapped by karma." I said.
"$Amazing. David the homo sapien morpher.$" said a voice. I turned around to see a black haired dayang walking toward me. His black hair had clear streaks through it. I recognized this dayang: Captain Gwarver.
Captain Gwarver had two blue-green creatures with him. They were Bone's size and had triceratops-looking faces without horns and their crests were completely vertical. They both had four rhino-ish legs and a small police badge-shaped bulbous bump on their rears. They each had a large 12 foot tendril coming out of their backs. They looked like giant dibulobs.
"$David the Saboteur.$" Gwarver continued. "$Clever enough to trick me and the dreaded Visser Three, but doesn't have enough sense not to shout in an alien language when he's being hunted.$"
"Gwarver!" Hollin said with barely contained disgust and rage in his voice. "$Do a favor for yourself and your freak exposition and just surrender. Return the Andalite Ambassador, her attendant, and the morphing cube to us, before we have to do something we're all going to regret.$"
"$Hollin, you mutinous space-garbage, I only want to hear six words from you.$" Gwarver said. "$'We are ready to give you your ship.'$" Which in Draque, is six words.
"$That will not happen.$" Hollin insisted.
"$Then we have nothing to discuss.$ Gwarver said with a slight flick of one of his tentacles.
The eotto'ot and the lazunbi soared down and landed on our dayang friends. Bone, Babylon, and I were now surrounded.
"Hollin! Klika! Chydla!" I yelled. "Farser!"
"$Thanks for getting around to me.$" Farser muttered as his body was pinned down by the talon of the eotto'ot. "$I told you we should have kept moving, but no one listens to the smart point.$"
"$Farser, shut up.$" Klika muttered from underneath the other talon of the eotto'ot.
"$Captain Hollin is unconscious, Sir David.$" Chydla reported.
"$Now, just between us morphers.$" Gwarver snickered as he and his giant dibulob-like creatures walked toward me.
"What are these giant dibulob things, Farser?" I asked.
"$Not dibulobs, torgabals. Their heads are hard, and they can snap their tendrils like bullwhips.$" Farcer warned me.
"$Sir David,$" Gwarver addressed, "$I am hoping you can be more reasonably dealt with.$"
"You underestimated me last time, Gwarver. I didn't even have a fraction of the power that I have now. What makes you think this time will be any different?"
"$Because I've seen what you're capable of.$" Gwarver snickered. "$The ambassador currently . . . . . residing with us had a recording on her person that contained the most interesting show. A show our mutual friends would be very interested to see. I don't know how this lovely broadcast missed our receivers, but we'll be happy to correct the oversight through our civilian info-cortex.$"
Oh no. I was suddenly glad Hollin was unconscious. "Unless?"
"$Unless you supply us with the ship we want. You don't have to give me yours; the Andalite ship docked at the Super-Atmo will be enough.$"
"You've seen it. You've seen what I could do, and yet you still have the balls to try to negotiate with me. Dayangs: the Warrior Merchants."
"$Now you're just stalling.$" Gwarver said.
"I should vaporize you and your brood right here and now. You morphing amateurs aren't worth my time."
"$And murder our mutual friends as well?$"
"Four innocents versus the safety of the entire galactic arm. I'm sure they'd understand."
"$Innocent? Did I translate that right? Hardly. Still, that would be just like you, David. Destroy whatever you don't like. Never mind those you will hurt along the way.$" Gwarver taunted. "$Just like you did with my Thanatosts and my chance at Wyrphat'd.$"
"So self-centered. You've duped five fools into following you, and still you only care about yourself. That's just like you, Gwarver."
"$Then we've established that neither of us care about those four dayangs my compatriots have at their mercy. If that is the truth, then there's no point in keeping them around at all.$" Gwarver said as he motioned to the terrormorphs in large flyer morphs. "$Kill them.$"
"Babylon. Shredder." I commanded quickly.
Babylon, in one fluid motion, pulled a shredder from his bag and shot both flyers with a stun level shredder blast.
"That was a warning. The next one turns you into atoms. Go stand with Gwarver." I commanded.
"You heard the boss. Go back to your master, Terrormorphs." Babylon threatened.
I saw Hollin stir awake. "Hollin? You okay?" I asked.
"$I feel like a lazunbi landed on me.$"
"$It did, Captain.$" Chydla said.
The eotto'ot waddled to Gwarver, but the lazunbi lay prone on the ground.
Babylon moved closer to the lazunbi. "Move, terrormorph."
((I . . . . hurt.)) It said.
Babylon moved closer and adjusted the shredder's level. "Then I'll take you out of your misery."
"$Sir Babylon! Watch out!$" Farser tried to warn.
The Lazunbi's neck stretched and its strong jaws clamped onto the sides of Babylon's arms, apparently not bothered by his wrist blades.
((Babylon!)) Bone shouted.
"$Good work, Frozeon. Bring him here.$" Gwarver ordered.
"No!" I shouted as metracroyle wings sprouted from back.
"$I wouldn't do that, David. Unless you want your hork-bajir friend to lose more than his arms.$" Gwarver threatened.
Bone tried to rush him, but the lazunbi (apparently named Frozeon), flapped above his reach.
Our four friendly dayangs joined behind me.
Hollin whispered into my ear. "$The emergency vehicles should be here soon. If we can stall them long enough, we might be able to trap them.$"
"$It seems you're the one who underestimated his opponent this time, David.$" Gwarver taunted. "$Now, let's review. I want a ship. I offer as payment your reputation and the life of your strangely colored Hork-Bajir slave.$"
"My death is worth more than my life, Boss David. Let me die." Babylon said, once again displaying that suicidal nature that Karig warned me about.
"$Now wait just a moment; what's this? The Hork-Bajir's satchel?$" Gwarver said as he ripped the straps of Babylon's bag to steal it.
"Stay out of there!" I shouted.
"$Let's see,$" Gwarver said, ignoring me and pulling things out with his tentacles as he named them, "Dracon Beam. Shredder. Dracon Beam. Shredder. Components for a Dracon Rifle, that's excellent."
Gwarver next pulled the small lockbox with the numeral code-lock that held the vial-darts of Protimus-bots in one tentacle. In the other, he pulled the Palm Proteus. "$These look important.$" He said as he threw them.
"LA!" Gwarver said suddenly. "$This is what I was looking for. The infamous protimus-bots!$" What? He already threw those away.
Gwarver held up with his main hands three syringes filled with a brown sloshy liquid.
"I . . . . don't know what those are." I said honestly.
"Leave those alone!!" Babylon yelled as he tried to lunge out of Frozeon's grip.
"$You, I almost believed, but you should teach your Hork-Bajir how to bluff.$" Gwarver said as he handed the vials to his ground arms. Then his ground arms broke them all in half.
"Noooooooo!" Babylon yelled.
What the hell were those things and why did Babylon need them?
"$You are tiresome, David. If you're not going to cooperate with me, than just leave. At the risk of a mis-haggle, I'll give you a great bargin. I'll return your servant and give you the ambassador's copy of your broadcast if you just leave the planet NOW.$" Gwarver demanded.
"Forget it, Gwarver. I'm not leaving without Babylon, the Andalites, and the morphing cube."
"$Then you may never leave Gianna Draquen.$" Gwarver sneered. "$Frozeon, release the Hork-Bajir. If he's so willing to die, then killing him is hardly any fun.$"
Frozeon tossed Babylon toward us. Klika and Farser attended to him as Hollin and Chydla stood by me.
"$Now, Frozeon and Lebla demorph. I want them to know who we are as they die.$"
((We got to do something, Boss.)) Bone said to me.
"Be patient, Bone." I whispered. "We can't do anything that will cause Gwarver to retreat before Hollin's reinforcements get here."
The eotto'ot demorphed into a red-haired female dayang. The lazunbi demorphed into a large, green-haired male dayang.
"$Meet Lebla Synda-300. She was able to get our blue box from the Andalite spy.$" Gwarver introduced.
"$Your reputation precedes you, Sir David. I hope you're as much fun as I've been led to believe.$" Lebla teased in a sultry tone not unlike Klika's.
"$And this high stalk of jirem is my second-in-command, Lt. Frozeon Andsomgi-371.$"
"$You're going to regret interjecting yourself into our affairs, Saboteur.$" Frozeon threatened.
"$Now,$" Gwarver prompted, "$who's your large partner?$"
((Chydla calls me Sir Bonehead. My herd calls me Bone. You're neither, shithead!))
"$Charming little monster.$" Gwarver commented. "$Now that we all know each other . . . $"
"Wait. Who are the Torga-twins?" I asked.
"$Oh, you've already met these two.$"
The Torgabal facing me turned its head to look at Gwarver. ((Please don't.))
But Gwarver continued. "$Surely, you remember the two privates who first found you. No? Allow me to refresh your memory. This is Erko Zeair-576,$" Gwarver identified as the torgabal in front of me. Then at the torgabal in front of Bone, "$and this is his interesting best friend, my nephew, Picum Passay-040.$"
"Erko and Picum?" I repeated. They were the two dayangs who first found me aboard the Rogin Gavic. Both of them seemed like nice boys. I mean, yes, Picum was energetic and annoying, but they seemed like good kids. These two were also in Hollin's command.
The torgabal in front of Bone, Picum, started waving his tendril at me. ((Hey David! It's been a very long time since our last encounter.)) Picum said in a very jovial tone of voice. ((You grew hair on your face!))
((I'm so sorry for this.)) the torgabal in front of me, Erko, said sadly.
((Yeah, this 'fighting you'-thing kind of drops it, but Erko and I can morph now, just like you. We can turn into animals! Isn't that delightful??))
((This guy's an idiot.)) Bone commented.
"$Captain. Stop playing with them and just kill them.$" Frozeon strongly 'suggested'.
"$One thing I learned from my fracture, Lieutenant, is that you need to learn to have some fun once and awhile.$" Gwarver commented. "$New game, boys: whoever kills their alien usurper first gets out of beloqush cleaning duty for a week.$."
"$Fifty precio on Erko.$" Frozeon whispered to Lebla as he presented his right hand palm up to her.
"$Accord.$" Lebla stated she tapped Frozeon's presented palm with her two left tentacles.
((Any morphing orders, Boss?)) Bone asked me.
"I was gonna morph into you, so whatever, Bone. I trust you."
Bone looked at me, and I could swear he was smiling. ((The special, personal Bonehead touch it is.))
I had two buffalo morphs, each of Bone, one before his 'head fix' and one after. I had morphed both in a row once to see if I could spot the difference. It felt the same. Except the 'after' morph had andalite time-keeping and magnetic sensitivity senses which I didn't even notice right away.
I played it safe and morphed the 'before'-Bone.
"$On the count of three. . . . wait for it . . . .$" Gwarver baited Erko and Picum. "Weck. . . "
((You're looking mighty handsome right now, Boss.)) Bone joked.
((Very funny, Bone. Try not to kill them. Disable only.)) I commanded.
"Pup." Gwarver counted.
((This is so wrong.)) Erko muttered.
"OCK!"
The Torgabals charged and Bone and I locked horns into our opponents.
"$And we have an exciting match-up today, Points and Tapers.$" Lebla said into one of her tentacles. I guess she was pretending to be a sportscaster. "$Two identical torgabals versus two identical . . . . alien hooved and horned things.$"
I dug my hooves into the dirt, but Erko pushed me back. I got in position to charge him, but at the last minute, he evaded and I hit a tree instead. Bone was doing better against Picum.
"David . . ." Hollin started.
((NO!)) I commanded. ((Stay out of this. Let Bone and I handle this. You guys just wait for the emergency reinforcements.))
"$Erko versus the infamous David the Saboteur and Picum versus newcomer Bonehead.$" Lebla continued. "$Erko seems to be making some progress against the morphing champion from Terra Firma while Picum struggles to get a good hit against his opponent.$"
I tried to ram Erko broadside, but he turned quickly once more, this time to catch my charge, and we locked foreheads again. ((Erko, you know I'm here to stop you and your mad boss.)) I told him. ((I don't want to, but I might have to take you and Picum out too.))
((I'd wish you luck, but if I don't do what Gwarver says, he may do something to me and Picum. He's completely lost his rutting mind.)) Erko pleaded. ((And I don't want to even think about what Frozeon will do if he loses money because of me.))
"$Tendril strategy is being used here. Picum seems to be whipping the mysterious Bonehead repeatedly with his tendril while Erko is attempting wrap his around Sir David's neck.$"
((It isn't too late for you two.)) I said as I tried to pull my head back so Erko couldn't get to my neck. ((Come with us, join my side, and the two of you can use your powers for good.))
((Both of us?))
"$Oh, but it looks like Erko's tendril is too thick to get between the massive alien head and its body. Oh well. Erko is wisely using the tendril to swat back any attempts by Sir David to twist out of the wave of power that is a ramming torgabal.$"
((No, it'll never work.)) Erko lamented. ((Picum will not leave his uncle, and I can't leave him. I'm so sorry.))
I felt the ground slip between my hooves. Erko was about to push me to my back. ((Godspeed, Erko.))
"$OH! In a startling upset, newcomer Bonehead has flipped Picum on his belly by getting its massive horned head underneath Picum's torgabal chin. Any minute, Bonehead is going to be gouging poor Picum with those nasty horns, but the real tragedy, points and tapers, will be that I will owe Frozeon fifty precio.$"
"$Get up, Picum!$" Gwarver yelled. "$Don't just sit there and call! Do something.$"
((AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!)) Bone thought-yelled in pain.
((Wa-wa-wa!)) Picum thought-spoke in surprise.
((Bone!))
((Picum!))
Erko and I ran to our respective partners. Bone's right front leg shook like it was in pain. Picum was rapidly demorphing.
"$Picum, why did you demorph?$" Gwarver demanded.
"$Don't know, Captain. Hoof on my belly make me feel tingly. Then ZAF! No more torgabal, just own handsome self!$" Picum, the young, blue-haired, male dayang, babbled in his usual manner.
((I tried to acquire him, but it hurt. A lot.)) Bone said.
((Bone, you can't acquire DNA from a morph.)) I explained.
((Why? What happens?))
((Apparently this! How's your hoof?)) I asked as I demorphed.
((Still ouchies. I'm sorry, Boss. I don't mean to be so bad.))
"Who said you were bad?" I asked him.
"$Time to stop calling the game and get in it.$" Lebla said.
The five terrormorphs (four demorphed, one morphed) faced me and Bone.
"$Looks like this will take a team effort.$" Gwarver snarled. His compound eye went dark as his ground fingers dug into the dirt, an anxious habit.
"$Standard Battle Morphs?$" Frozeon asked, pointing all four tentacles at me, a gesture of challenging.
That's when I heard the sirens. And the sirens were suddenly very, very close.
Hovercrafts and other vehicles surrounded our position. A dayang I didn't recognize handed Captain Hollin and Chydla beam weapons that they pointed at the Terrormorphs.
"$Gwarver Passay-039. You are completely surrounded.$" Captain Hollin yelled above the din of low pitched hums of the collective hovercrafts.
"$Private Erko Zeair-576. You are hereby bound by law to demorph and stand down.$" Chydla commanded. Erko complied, and a torgabal became the young, brown-haired, male dayang.
"$In the name of Queen Dolaguel Rikrath-008, the Great Corporate Board of Legislature, and the Exalted Court of Understandings, Captain Gwarver and all complying Terrormorphs are hereby bound by law.$" Hollin ceremoniously proclaimed.
"$Oh, how careless of us.$" Gwarver said as Erko finished his demorph. "$We seemed to have misplaced one of our own. Krull?$"
A green haired dayang fell from a nearby purple tree and landed amongst the pieces of Babylon's mystery syringes. With impressive speed, he picked up a piece of sharp plastic with each of his four tentacles and pounced on me.
I flash morphed to Hork-Bajir, but I was on back before I knew it, looking up at a laughing dayang face while feeling sharp pains to my sides and chest. I wondered at the time if he was stabbing me as his name would suggest, but everything . . . started to get . . . . shiny. . . . .
Bone
"$Oh, how careless of us.$" said Captain Gwarver, leader of the evil Terrormorphs. "$We seemed to have misplaced one of our own. Krull?$"
Like a vicious Tree Cat, a dayang with green fur pounced from above and landed around the pieces of broken sharp stuff that Babylon had in his bag that the Boss didn't know. Like all sentient people, the vicious dayang had a name: Krull. It means to put holes in flesh. My name is Bonehead; it means thick-skulled.
When Krull attacked the Boss, all the Dayangs acted like they were about to stampede and it made me more than a little nervous. Then I realized that dayangs are sentient and they do not have hooves, so they probably had the good sense not to stampede.
Not that I was entirely wrong. Thirty Dayangs ran with their weird two part bodies toward Krull who stopped stabbing the Boss and started to drag his heavy, morphed, hork-bajir body toward Gwarver and the other terrormorphs.
I tried to run to Krull, but my right hoof still hurt a lot from trying to acquire DNA from a morph (because I'm an idiot). So I looked like I was about two minutes old, still trying to learn how to walk.
((Boss! Boss!)) I yelled, not that it helped at all.
"$Stay back, creature!$" Krull yelled, I guess at me. "$Stay back all of you! I'll stab him again. Stab! Stab!$"
Gwarver and the other Terrormorphs were able to reassemble with Krull. The one named Erko looked at the Boss's body with a look on his face that was different than the others. He was either very sad or very constipated.
Hey, I'm not used to interpreting expressions of dayangs. Or any expressions. Hell, a week and a half ago, I didn't even know what an expression was. Or what a week was for that matter.
The evil Gwarver took the sharp thing from Krull and threatened the Boss with it. "$I'll cut him again, Hollin. I'm sure you're familiar with Krull's work, so you know that Sir David is slowly dying of blood loss. You may be able to save him, if you can get to him. And the sooner you let us leave, the sooner you'll be able to get to him.$" Gwarver taunted. Boss David told me this was called 'negotiating.' Gwarver the Bad Guy turned to his fellow Terrormorphs "$Lirachurns; now.$"
As the other terrormorphs started to morph into little worms with lots of insect wings that looked liked the wings of the Pretty-Flappy-Bugs (Humans call them Butterflies), Gwarver continued to keep the other dayangs away like an Alpha Death-Eater against other cackling death-eaters (Humans call them Hyenas, but Death-Eater sounds lots more awesome).
Hollin told all the dayangs to keep their distance. Gwarver stood over the Boss's body as he morphed into the Belga Vibrat thing he was when he found us in the Elevator Tube. Five Flappy Worms or Lirachurns latched onto the underbelly of the Belga Vibrat.
((And to think: He is the one you invited to save you. Ha Ha!)) Gwarver the Evil, Bad Guy said all mean-like as he flew off with the lirachurns attached to him. ((Till next time, Hollin!))
The Dayangs gathered around the Boss's bleeding body. He was in the body of a very huge unas Hork-Bajir. I had to practically drag myself toward him because my stupid leg wouldn't work. I even tried to morph, but I couldn't. That got me really worried.
But I was more worried about Boss David.
The dayangs had surrounded Boss David and were doing stuff to him. I think they were trying to help him, but they were speaking in their own language, which I didn't understand, so I asked one of the dayangs that was with us, a female named Chydla.
((What's wrong with Boss David? What are they doing to them.))
"$They're doctors, Bone. Medical people.$" Chydla said in Galard, a language I know. "$They're trying make sure he doesn't die.$"
Die? Boss David could die?
((He'd be okay, if he demorphed. Why doesn't he demorph?))
"$He's unconscious, Bone. He can't demorph.$" Chydla told me. "$Oh-no!$"
((What 'oh-no'? 'Oh-no' is bad!))
"$ They said 'He's bleeding too much'. He'd need a transfusion. But they don't have any hork-bajir blood.$"
((Hork-Bajir blood? Babylon! Babylon!)) I called.
Klika and Farser (two Good Guy dayangs) helped an injured Babylon reach me.
"What is it, Bonehead?" Babylon asked me.
((The Boss needs your blood.))
"Bone, that's not a good idea. Not only am I recovering from my own injuries, I'm sick. It's too dangerous to use my blood." Babylon said.
((Sick? You mean that whole Brood 10 thing?))
"How do you know about that?"
((I kind of overheard it. Long story. I know! I'll morph one of my Hork-Bajir morphs.))
I concentrated on the form of Laet Caffaj, a hork-bajir that had a yeerk in his head named Kirag. Unlike most yeerks, Kirag was not a Bad Guy. I was a little worried because the Boss got mad at me when I acquired Laet because I didn't ask Laet or Kirag for permission. I decided not to tell the Boss about all the other sentient people I acquired, although he's probably seen me as most of them.
I tried to morph into Laet, but it didn't work. ((My morphing isn't working.))
"$Didn't you just try to acquire DNA from a morph earlier?$" Klika asked me.
((Yes. I know. Stupid.))
"$Very, Sir Bonehead. You shorted out the andalite biotechnology by doing that. You'll probably get your morphing power back in about two hours, but I would never, ever try that again, else you run the risk of shorting out your morphing power permanently.$"
((No way, Klika. Lesson learned.)) I said. ((But that doesn't help the Boss.))
"$If we don't get him to wake up and demorph, he'll die from the blood loss.$" Chydla reminded.
"$But he probably passed from the blood loss.$" Farser said. "$That's a pretty common liability in most species.$"
"$We could wake him up with panic hormone, but we don't have any of the Hork-Bajir version.$" Klika tried.
"We could use the Protimus-bots to demorph him directly." Babylon suggested.
"$Is that what e protimus-bots do? Control morphing?$" Klika asked, amazed. "$No wonder Gwarver made it a point to destroy them.$"
"He didn't. Those weren't the Protimus-bots. Those were . . . doses . . . . of medicine . . . that I need. That I'll need soon." Babylon said with self-concern in his voice, but then he shook his head, "I'll worry about that later. The real protimus-bots were in that lockbox; we have to find it."
Chydla went in one direction. Babylon limped in another direction, helped out by Farser. Klika went in another as I was supposed to go in last direction.
But I didn't want to leave Boss David's side.
I felt bad because Boss David and I got into a fight earlier. He yelled at me and said I was bad because I didn't do what he said.
Was Boss David going to die because I didn't do what he said?
No! I wasn't going to let him die! He was the Boss of my Herd! I have to show him that I'm good.
The dayangs worked frantically on the Boss's body, chattering at each other in Draque, but then they switched to Galard, which I think they only do for official stuff.
"$Respirations have halted and both pump rhythms have ceased.$" said one dayang in Galard.
"$We lack the necessary equipment to resuscitate a Hork-Bajir.$" said another.
"$I'm declaring it.$" said the first Dayang. "$Time of Death: Solar Zenith plus one point six$"
Time of Death??? NOOOOO!!!
((No! Get away from him! Boss! Wake up!)) I thought-screamed as I pushed away the dayangs.
Oh sure, my right leg works now
((Boss! Please! Wake up! You can't leave me! We haven't stopped any Bad Guys yet!))
I looked over at Babylon. They hadn't found the lockbox yet, and that was the only thing that could force him to demorph and heal.
Wait . . . not the only thing. When I tried to acquire DNA from Picum's morph, I felt lots and lots of pain and shorted out my morphing ability.
But I also made Picum demorph!
But if I try to acquire the Boss's morph, I could short out my own morphing forever.
Oh well.
Since I still couldn't feel my front right hoof very well, I used my left front hoof. I didn't want to use my head. There's no way I could still concentrate with all that pain centered there.
I placed my left hoof on Boss David's 'corpse' and tried to acquire it.
Nothing happened.
If I couldn't morph, maybe I couldn't acquire either. No! Have to try!
I concentrated the best I could.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. PAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!!!!!
My second home after the savannahs of Africa was a place called New Jersey, where I lived in a big ceiling-less cage that I could run in and humans looked at me all day. Very boring. I tried to get out once by going to the cage and bashing my head against it, but I felt this pain that made me think of lighting. That cage pain went through my whole body and it hurt a lot.
This was worse.
My left leg felt like a thousand tiny cat mouths were biting it. My head felt like it was being split open like a long nosed giant (or elephant as a human would say) was stepping on it. The rest of my body hurt like a rival herd was gouging their horns everywhere.
It was the worst pain ever. I couldn't even open my eyes, but I wanted to force them open so I could make sure the Boss was demorphing.
I think I heard voices in English and Galard ask me what I was doing.
I finally forced my eyes open and the rays from the red sun of Gianna Draquen hurt my eyes, but I looked at my Boss hoping I would no longer see the massive Hork-bajir with a hundred holes in him.
I saw a human with yellow hair.
I stopped acquiring and collapsed.
I was back in First Home, except the grass was pink like Gianna Draquen, not a pale yellow like it should be. The trees should be green, but they were purple. One tree was red.
That's when I heard the growl. Tree Cat!
Tree Cats are yellow with black spots shaped like hoof prints, not to be confused with the Fast Cats which aren't very dangerous to Buffalo at all. Tree Cats are sneaky and devious, but they drag food into trees. Those cats could never drag a full grown buffalo into a tree! I was supposed to be careful of Tree Cats when I was infant.
But I'm not an infant anymore.
The Tree Cat jumped from the red tree. His fur was green, not yellow, but it didn't matter. I kicked my back legs into the air and my hooves hit that stupid Tree Cat in his dumb, spotty, little face.
The green Tree Cat lay on the ground dead. I heard a snort. A Horn-Nose! He was purple, not gray like he should be, but it was a Horn-Nose. Horn-Noses eat plants like we do, but like us, they'll attack if we get to close.
I guess it decided I was too close. The Horn-Nose charged me. His skin was stronger than mine, but he was also lots slower than me. I moved quickly and hit him broadside. He fell down on his side, so I stabbed one of my horns into his belly. Horn-Nose dead.
Trumpting! A Brown Long-Nose Giant. Another wrong colored creature from home. His silly long nose was no problem, but his giant curvy tusks were. His skin was hard like a Horn-Nose, but his belly was also soft. Problem was his legs were like trees. So it was not like I could bash him broadside like the Horn-Nose.
The Long-Nose curled its dumb long nose and tried to hit me with his curved tusks. He aimed too low and fell on his front knees. So I got a stupid idea. I bashed with my head.
In his butt! Ha Ha. His long nose was sucking mud after his big head and his dumb big flappy ears hit the dirt. I moved quickly on my little hooves and hit the dumb long nose in his side and he went down on his side just like the Horn-Nose. He tried to kick me with his big fat tree legs, but I was able to get my horns into his belly. Long-nose dead!
RAWR!! I turned my head and I saw a King Cat and a Queen Cat. No surprise. The King Cat was red and the Queen Cat was blue. That was kind of a surprise.
The Queen Cat came after me first. I freaked out and ran. The Queen Cat pounced and got my rump. I kicked my back hooves out of instinct and the queen cat hopped away from me. She pounced again and got my back. I bucked out of instinct again and she flew off in front of me. I tried to stomp on her head with my front hooves, but I missed. She swiped my front legs and it hurt.
"Adapt your instincts and make good decisions"
The Queen Cat pounced on me again, but instead I reared up on my back hooves and stomped on her stupid chompy face with my front hooves. Then I came down on my front hooves right on her dumb little body! Queen Cat DEAD!
The King Cat roared at me and started to charge at me. My instincts were to run away, but I stopped thinking of him as a King Cat and started thinking of him like just another rival. My instincts say you don't run from rivals.
My instincts say you headbutt them.
The King Cat charged and I charged back. I knew he would pounce when he got close. I just had to be ready to give him a full head of horn. The King Cat pounced!
So did I. The King Cat may have been able to get a claw full of Buffalo back, but instead he got Bonehead's bonehead in the gut.
The King Cat flew like he was a warthog I just bunted and landed on his back. I trotted up to him and just like I did to his stupid mate, I reared up and bashed my hooves into his belly. He clawed at me and hurt me and he was even able to twist away and get back on his paws, but that's when I gave him a horn to the side. The King Cat roared, reared back, and collapsed. King Cat Dead. Bonehead von Buffalo rules!
"You did good, Bone."
((What?))
I was doing this new thing my brain does when its asleep called dreaming. I woke up. My front right leg felt okay. I could barely feel my front left leg. I was on a little platform that was moving. Another flying vehicle, I guess. I looked around and I saw Farser and Babylon.
And Boss David. In his own body.
((Boss! You're okay.))
"I hear I have you to thank for that." Boss David said. "I can't believe I was nearly stabbed to death twice in three weeks."
((Maybe you should adapt your instincts. Make better decisions.))
Boss David laughed. "Was it good decision to risk your morphing power?"
((Depends for who. You're alive instead of dead. That's good. But I may be a stupid sentient buffalo instead of a stupid sentient buffalo who morphs and fights bad guys. That actually really sucks.))
"You're not stupid, Bonehead." Boss David said as he grabbed my head. I tensed up; last time he did this he yelled at me. "You are good, Bonehead von Buffalo. You are very good, and don't ever forget that."
Awesome.
((Thanks Boss. Sometimes I wonder. You are good, too.))
Boss David laughed again. "I wish."
Boss David didn't think he was good? Wow.
((You are, you now.)) I pressed.
Boss David didn't respond to that. "Thanks for saving my life."
((Hey, what're loyable steeds for?))
"You know it's—"
((Yeah, I know it's 'loyal and noble' not loyable, but loyable is funnier. Just like Quaffy is funnier than Quafijinivion. And also easier to say, even in thought-speech. I just like playing with words.))
"Cute."
((I can do it with anything. You, Boss David, are a good boss. That makes you a 'Guboss'.))
That's when Babylon laughed. I've never heard him laugh before.
"You make me sound like a Mario game villian." Boss David said. I think he was talking about video games, but I wasn't sure.
"So what am I, Bone?" Babylon asked.
((You're a Cl'shoe.))
Babylon winced as Boss David laughed very loudly.
((It's decided.)) I said. ((I'm loyable. Boss is guboss, and you're cl'shoe.))
"$So that was a funny joke I told when we were about to crash, right?$" Farser stuttered. "$You know about me dying a virgin.$"
Boss David and Babylon looked at him funny. So did I.
((And you're a schmuck.))