Epilogue

"Then darkness took me, and I strayed out of thought and time, and I wandered far on roads that I will not tell…I was sent back-for a brief time, until my task is done."

-Gandalf, from The White Rider

He was back for real this time. The wonderful air blew around him and caressed his true form, tall and shining, no longer stooped with mortal age and pain. He felt a mild twinge of guilt for leaving his friends behind, but he had stopped the Balrog, his dark brother. If Ilúvatar had wanted him to survive in his mortal coil, surely he would have.

For now, his joy at being home overwhelmed him, and he forgot Middle Earth. He should find Manwë first, and thank him for letting him return. Valinor beckoned to him, and he sped across in shimmering form that was not held back by stride, moving faster than mortal man ever dreamed.

Up towards the great city Valmar he raced, along the shining shore of the West, reveling in the beauty of Valinor. As he passed Alqualondë, some of the elves were out on fishing boats. They saw his swift form and waved, calling his name with reverence much like his own for Manwë and Lorien. He waved back but did not stop, and he moved on towards the city.

Up through the streets he passed, swirling past the elvish maidens as they worked before their lovely homes. He entered a long green courtyard filled with breathtaking trees and flowers. The Vala Nessa was here, many elves, and even some of the Maiar, dancing an old tradition derived from the original song of Ilúvatar. He slowed to a stop and watched them, content to simply take it all in. After such a long time, it all seemed new and wonderful again, like the time he took a bath for the first time after pursuing Gollum with Aragorn, except a thousand times purer. It reminded him of the First Awakening. He chuckled and amended his thoughts: a long time as mortals reckoned. He had been in the form of Man too long; he was thinking like them.

He watched the dancers wind their way around each other with perfect rhythm, with graceful timing; he felt a large smile growing on his shining face.

"Olórin!" a cry rose from the dancers, and a Maia detached herself from the joyful throng and made her way to him. It was Ilmarë, the great handmaiden of Varda. She grabbed his hands and pulled him into the dance. "We have missed you, brother."

At first, his steps were slow with hesitation, but he soon found the rhythm. It was in him and around him and part of him, and he let himself flow freely with the others. Old Gandalf may not have acted so, but this was Olórin, a fountain of mirth and thanksgiving. Besides, Ilúvatar loved it when his creations danced their joy for him. So Olórin danced and laughed with his sister.

So, are you here to stay? She asked him silently, sensing that he was still adjusting.

I do not know, he admitted, but I hope so. I have missed everything so much, the peace in particular. Yet I must speak with Manwë. Do you know where he is?

She looked over his shoulder and brightened. He is close, she winked, released him, and spun back into the dance. Welcome back, brother, she told him as she went.

Thank you, my sister. Olórin turned and spied Manwë in physical form, leaning on the courtyard wall, smiling at the joy of Valmar. The very city sang for Ilúvatar. The Maia crossed the long expanse and bowed respectfully before the head of Arda. "Is this it, my lord? I know I am truly here this time."

Yes, you are here this time, my friend, Manwë replied, but he was holding something back.

Olórin was not afraid. "Do I stay?" he pressed slowly.

The Fellowship stands on the edge of a knife. Do you want to stay? Manwë asked in return.

Olórin puzzled over these sobering words. In my heart have I always desired to remain here, but there is a small part of me that still wants to help my friends, he revealed with hesitation. They are like nothing else, and they are in dire circumstances. But is it possible to go back? I thought my body there…died.

There is always a way with Ilúvatar, Manwë solemnly intoned, but then he smiled. It may be very hard for you. You will forget much that you thought you knew, and know more that you thought you had forgotten. But it is entirely possible. There was that tone in his voice.

Olórin sighed. Then my task is not yet over? Somehow I knew that. It will be good to see them again. He was now resigned to the fact that he would be going back. If it pleased Manwë and Ilúvatar, then he would go without complaint. Actually, the more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. Strange…

Manwë laughed. They have nestled their way into your heart. Your selfless compassion is your greatest asset.

And my greatest weakness, Olórin added, and laughed with his friend.

Manwë put a hand on his shoulder. Never lose it, Olórin. Always have room in your heart for one more creature. Now, if you are going back, it had better be soon. Your friends await you.

Friends…Olórin pondered the word. He did truly wish to return.

First though, you had better tell Lorien. He will be very proud of your choice. Manwë watched as Olórin sped away. Olórin? The Maia turned and waited patiently. This is the last time. When you come again, there will be no going back. Olórin smiled gratefully, but he grew pensive.

"Now that I think on it, I believe I will miss Middle Earth," he said aloud.

Manwë snorted in exasperation. "Go on." One never appreciated what he had until he was loosing it. The confounded Maia was torn between two worlds. He followed after Olórin with much more grace and dignity. As he passed, the Maiar and the elves remaining in the courtyard paused their dance to watch. Manwë sensed their pride in their friend and brother. Yes, they are all proud of Olórin. I am proud of him. Ilúvatar is proud of him. Well done, good and faithful servant. And now you go to Middle Earth, at the turning of the tide.

Finally, this one is done. I took a bit of literary license with the vagueness of what happened to Gandalf when he fell with the Balrog. Since he's not a mortal, I figured he might just as well return to his true form and place. He could have his reasons for not revealing Valinor to Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas.

Anyways, thanks to all who read this, and I'm sorry for not finishing earlier. The material was mostly there, I just lost the inspiration to finish it. Now it is done.