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Narcissa Malfoy (nee. Black)'s Greatest Secrets

She remembered growing up as the pampered Princess of the family, surrounded by servants and maids who catered to her every whim. She remembered her sisters and, when she was growing up, she knew that Andromeda and Bellatrix were the two most important people in the world to her.

She remembers Hogwarts too, but it was never something she was proud off. And she knew, the minute she entered Hogwarts, that she would lose one of her sisters because Andromeda had been in Gryffindor and Bellatrix was in Slytherin, just like she was. But she hoped she was wrong, she prayed that her family would forget houses and she could go back to the way it was before, her as the innocent sister protected by kind, motherly Andy and strong, willful Bella.

But, in Hogwarts, she never saw Andy and Bella was too busy with her own friends, so Narcissa turned to Severus Snape and he introduced her to Lily Evans. It wasn't until her fourth year that she actually knew Lily was a muggle-born. It wasn't until then that she cared. But once she found out….once Bella found out, that was the end of her friendship with Lily. She regretted it to this day, especially when, in her seventh year, Lily, now Head Girl, caught her sneaking out to meet Lucius, late at night. Lily had let her off with a warning, saying that she would tell no one, convincing her boyfriend, James Potter, the Head Boy, not to tell anyone because Lily remembered that one time, in her fourth year, that Narcissa stopped Bella and Lucius from cursing Lily because she was a muggle-born. Narcissa never forgot that and it haunted her for a long time because, since then, she felt indebted to Lily because it was Severus who stopped them, not her.

She liked Sirius when she was growing up. He was exactly her age and he was funny. When they were growing up, they were friends, close friends. Sirius was honest and faithful and fun to be around. They got in so much trouble together and she remembered it fondly. But then, Sirius got sorted into Gryffindor and they barely talked to each other after that. As they grew older, they started disliking each other and by the time they left Hogwarts, they were enemies. She blamed the Sorting Hat for tearing her away from both her sister and her best friend and for destroying everything she loved about her family. She knew it wasn't fair, but she blamed him anyway.

She understood why Andromeda left and, she wished that she had the courage to do the same. But she didn't. She did go to Andy's house in her seventh year though, snuck away from her classmates during a Hogsmead weekend and went. And Andy thanked her for coming. That was the last time they ever spoke until after Nymphadora's death. When she found out that her niece was dead and Bella had killed her, she knew that she was the only one who could help Andy ever recover from her grief, and she knew she had to do it, to reconcile with her sister. Because if she didn't have Andy, who did she have?

She loved Bella, honestly she did. But she was always closer to Andy. Andy was the kind one, the one she turned to when she was hurt or wanted love, even though Andy was almost ten years older than she was. Bella was hard and cold. By the time Bella was married, Narcissa disliked Bella for the person she'd become. When she killed Sirius, Narcissa knew she hated Bella. Bella had torn her life apart. Bella murdered their cousin, Sirius. Bella killed Nymphadora, the sweet girl who looked exactly like her mother when she wanted to. Narcissa liked Dora, the small, confident little girl, eleven years her junior that she met for the first time when she was in her seventh year at Hogwarts. But Bella killed her, and in a way, Bella killed a part of her. It was because of Bella's threats to write home and to hurt her that she broke off her friendship with Lily. It was Bella's fault, she felt, that Andy and Sirius left the family. Bella had destroyed her family and she hated her for it.

She loved Lucius, honestly, she did. And she knew that Lucius loved her. But, after Draco was born, a small part of her stopped trusting him. Because Draco was hers. Draco was everything to her. And she loved him more than she thought possible. He ruined that, his association with the Dark Lord ruined Draco's innocence and it was because of him that Draco became a death eater. When Draco was branded with the dark mark, she hated herself for it because she had failed to protect her son. During the battle of Hogwarts, all she felt was fear. She didn't have a wand, she gave her wand to Draco, who tried to refuse it, but she insisted. She was grateful, because Draco was alive and she vowed that she would never let him go again.

The first time she saw Harry Potter, she instantly disliked him, not for defeating the Dark Lord, but because he reminded her so much of James Potter. She never forgave James for what he did to Severus, not the pranking, but the fact that he married Lily. She was the only one Severus ever told about his love for Lily and in an instant, she disliked Harry for all the pain his father had caused her best friend. When he slighted Draco and when Draco wrote home about his desire to make Harry his friend and eventually, of their rivalry, she echoed his beliefs and turned to hate and dislike as a way of protecting Draco from every blow, both physical and verbal, that she felt Harry dealt him. She regretted it later but she had to protect her son any way she knew how.

But when he was vulnerable, and she was forced to check if he was dead or alive, Narcissa couldn't do it. She just couldn't leave him to die, even though she could easily get into the castle to find Draco without him. He was Draco's age. He was just a boy and he was right. And most of all, she remembered the great debt she owed Lily from her seventh year. So she proclaimed him dead and finally, the debt she owed Lily Potter was cleared.

The war was a turning point in her life. After the war, she finally lived the life she had longed for. She reconciled with Andromeda and lived to see Draco married. And she had a grandchild. Narcissa honestly liked Astoria, she was a pure blood, maybe not a family that was as old as the Malfoys but pureblood and Scorpius, Scorpius was everything to her, the same way Draco was. But then….Scorpius fell in love with Lily Potter and suddenly ….suddenly, the Potters weren't so bad anymore. After all, Harry had saved Draco's life twice. So she forgave them and honestly liked Lily. Yes, she lived a long, happy life and she knew, the first time she held Scorpius's first child with Lily Potter-Malfoy, she knew that she had attained the life she dreamed of.

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