Chapter 5: Painful Scars
"Nothing happened with my mother, I heard her and father talking one night about what I was to be when I became a man and then I ran away"
"But what about"
Peter quickly covered Maime's mouth and looked at her sternly
"Don't say anything about that, not a word"
"Your hiding something" Wendy said
"No I'm not" Peter said
"Maybe you should tell them" Solomon said
"I think I need to be alone right now" Peter said "could everyone please leave"
Everyone just looked at Peter, he then sighed "Please" he asked rather harshly
"Come on" said Solomon "lets let Peter have his time alone"
Everyone started leaving just then Peter turned to Maimie
"You can stay if you want" he told her
"You said you wanted to be alone"
"Well I like having you around, you seem to be the only one who is not judging me"
"Judging you?"
"I keep looking at everybody else and they seem to be looking at me like they are judging me about something and its the worst from that Wendy lady"
"She always seemed nice" Maimie said " I listened to her tell stories once"
"Yeah well I keep getting weird feelings around her, not to mention the more I start to remember her the more I start to hurt inside" Peter said sitting down again
"Are you feeling better now?"
Peter then turned to the little four year old girl sitting next to him
"Did you grow up?" he asked her
"Yes" she said simply "Of course I did"
"How was it?" Peter asked
"It was not bad, it was not easy but it was not bad" Maimie responded back
"What was so hard about it?" Peter asked
"Well I had to go school and though school could be rather boring I did get to learn a lot of things"
"Is that it?" Peter asked
"No there was getting married and having children and children are anything but easy to raise" Maimie told him
"And here you are as a child yourself" Peter noted
"Well I was always a child at heart so I got to be one here, and like I said growing up wasn't easy but I enjoyed it, I had a happy life and I am happy here" Maimie said
"Lucky you" Peter said with a sigh
Little did Peter know that while Solomon had gone to watch over the other children Wendy had convinced John and Michael to stay behind and three were watching the two talk.
"You think maybe he did want to grow up?" Michael asked whispering
"Then why didn't he come back with us?" John whispered to his brother and sister
"I think he was just pretending" Wendy said " I could always tell there was more to his story then just wanting to be a boy and have fun, despite what he said"
The three kept on watching and listening
"Are you happy?" Maimie asked Peter
"Of course I am happy" Peter said "I got to live my dream"
"You still look sad" Maimie told him "you look as just as sad as when I knew you"
Peter gave Maimie an annoyed smirk and then rolled his eyes, "you girls are way to clever" he said shaking his head
"Thank you" Maimie said
"I didn't mean that in a good way" Peter said crossing his arms
"Oh, well how did you mean it then?"
"Look I assume you got to home right?" Peter asked
"Right"
"Well that's the thing everyone got to go home, everyone who goes home finds there mother fast asleep in their nursery waiting for them, right"
"Well my mother was waiting for me, so was my father and Tony, he was actually nice to me for a little while," then she looked at Peter remembering that he had tried to go home.
"Everyone except for you" Maimie told him sadly
"Yep, everyone except for me, its not fair Maimie, its just not fair, everyone finds their mothers waiting for them, welcoming them with big open arms, everyone gets to be safe and warm with their families, everyone gets to grow up by their side"
Peter stood up and started pacing back and fourth, "but not me, no not me, when I tried to go home what did I get, mother and father didn't want me back, they even put bars on the window to keep me out" Peter said completely angry, "and that wasn't enough, they went and had another son while I was left alone and unloved."
"Its not fair Maimie, I could understand it if happened to everyone, but no, everyone else got to home, everyone else got their mother back, everyone else got to be forgiven by them, but not me, they wouldn't forgive me, they didn't want me or need me even though I needed them" he screamed with tears coming from his eyes
"I made a mistake, one stupid mistake, I spent my whole life paying for it" he said sitting down "and she said I was ungallant and deficient, ha, I would love to see what would have happened to her if her parents did not want her anymore" he said burying his head and hands in his legs
Just then a soft hand touched his shoulder and slowly looked up to see Wendy sitting right next to him, he looked at her with tears in eyes and an angry expression on his face
"How much did you hear?" he asked
"We heard enough" John said as him and Michael coming out from behind the trees
"I said I wanted to be left alone" he screamed
"Peter, we just want to help you" Wendy said
"You can't help me" Peter said bitterly "No one can ever help me"
"You could have come back with us" Michael said "everyone else did"
"everyone else, you mean the lost boys?" Peter said, Michael nodded
"Well maybe the lost boys didn't have mothers to start with, maybe that's why they were called the lost boys" Peter retorted
"Me I wasn't, I knew who my mother was, all those memories Neverland took from me, but did it take that, no, I never forgot that, no matter how hard I tried"
"If you had would have come back with us?" John asked
"I don't know, maybe, I mean when I ran away I had such a good time but something was missing, I missed my mother, I wanted her back and I knew that if I went back I would have to grow up and then I started thinking maybe it would not be so bad, maybe growing up was its own adventure and then I found out I wasn't even wanted back, I ended up with no place to go except back to the fairies."
"You could have just said that" Wendy said
"Why so I could be humiliated again?"
"You think I would have judged you for that, we wanted the same thing, I wouldn't have judged you for that, if anything I'm proud of you Peter"
"Why would you be proud of a failure?" Peter said bitterly
"You made a mistake and you realized it, you even tried to fix it, and you did it all by yourself, and I know you probably don't want to hear this but that is very grown up and yes I am proud of you for that"
Peter just sighed "doesn't change anything, the one thing I wanted more then anything and I could never have it back," Peter just sighed "I hate love" Peter said bitterly to himself
"Because you still love your mother?" Wendy asked
Peter nodded "I never stopped loving her, I'd do anything just to have her tell me that she loves me, that she forgives me" Peter said looking down to the ground
"So lets find her" Maimie said
"What?" Peter asked
"Maybe she is here, and even if not here she has to be somewhere"
Solomon was sitting atop his usual tree top and watching over all the other children, just then he heard a shout from Peter
"Solomon I have a great idea" he said
"But it was" Maimie began to say, then Wendy touched her shoulder and shook her head
"I want to find my mother" Peter said
"Do you even know how to find them?" Solomon asked
"Well I haven't seen them since they barred me out, but I don't think they would be here"
"Oh and why is that?"
"Because I was barely a boy when they were already talking about me growing up, so they probably liked being grown ups"
"Well that doesn't mean they are not here, but there are many different realms in the afterlife with many different people"
"Then I'll look through all of them if I have to, I'm dead right so I have nothing but time" Peter retorted back
"All right but you know that if they are in another realm you could not stay with them, your still a dead child, this the realm you belong to"
"I thought you said that I didn't belong here"
"I said that because your spirit wasn't at peace, unlike everyone else here, so you are out of place to be here right now"
"Well maybe this is why he has to be here now, to meet all of us so we can help him" Wendy suggested
Solomon thought about this for a 2nd perhaps Peter needed to see his mother again for his soul to finally be at peace
"What do you intend to do when you find your mother?" Solomon asked
"I need to know why, why she forgot me, how she could just replace me, if she ever did love me"
"Well I can't leave here, I have a job here, but I am sure you can find yourself another guide along the way, but beware, even the afterlife is not without its dangers"
"Like what?" John wanted to know
"I heard about your friend Hook, if you leave here and if his grudge against you is strong enough which chances are it is he can find you, he can't kill you and you can't kill him doesn't mean he can't trap or torment you, and if finds you chances are he will, as with any other enemies you have made that are wondering the realms of the afterlife, so be careful because there are things worse then being dead"
"I'll be fine" Peter said
"And I trust you all are going with him"
"Peter helped me when I was lost so am I going to help him" Maimie said
"Be careful" Solomon said "Especially you Peter Pan, this not the place to get overly cocky"
"Now come I'll show you the gateway to the rest of the afterlife"
To be Continued