On My Mind

The Fall

Kristin did murder me, in a drastic change of stills. If I recall correctly, I think one of the photography students, Kacey, was able to capture the moment.

Like last time, I decide to lie low. When would I ever be able to encounter Ben without making a fool of myself?

And thanks to the "Chocolate Milk Shower", I had Ben on my mind almost constantly. Does he think me a complete idiot? What if he does? Will he talk to me again? What if I really stopped him from talking to me? I'll never date him now!

Fortunately, Yvette and Liz, though they find the incident funny, sympathize and daily remind me of the fact that it could be worse.

"Oh, how could it possibly be worse?" I ask, picking at my salad. The lettuce is too limp, and I swear something just crawled out of it.

"I've fallen out of bed dreaming about him-"

"-just what were you dreaming? " Liz drops her soda can with a clang.

I ignore her.

"-choked on a French fry, and gave him a Chocolate Milk Shower."

"Where are you getting these names?" Yvette wonders, shaking her head. "Never mind… you haven't done the worst, though. You haven't fallen for him."

"Huh? Yes, I have. He's on my mind every single day, and didn't I just tell you I fell out of bed?" I continue to pick at my salad. It really looks unappetizing. The cheese has suspicious spots on it, and the crackers seem to have been nibbled on…when I haven't eaten anything yet.

Liz shakes her head, too. "You poor girl, so clueless. Yvette means that you haven't tripped yet in talking to him. If anything else, you have a good sense of balance."

I reflect. "You're right! I haven't! Must be all those years on the stage." I happily begin to sip chocolate milk. Mm, I like my chocolate.

"You sure do," my friends snicker. Oops, I said that aloud.

Lunch passes quickly, and soon I'm gathering my tray to take it to the trash. I'm halfway out of my seat when I hear, "Bea?"

I turn to see Benjamin Cato right behind me.

"Hi!" I squeak, leaning against the table for support.

He looks at me strangely before continuing. "Would you be in my study group? I heard you were good at math, and I really would appreciate your help…"

I didn't hear anything beyond, "Would you be". I immediately lose myself in a daydream of a wedding; I'm in a white, flowing gown, Ben's wearing his suit, and we are happy, so incredibly happy, as doves are released above our heads as we climb into a carriage-

"Bea? Bea!"

I am so startled that I tip sideways, straight into Sissy Benson.

Carissa "Sissy" Benson, tallest volleyball player, and the toughest. She's got an attitude that has miraculously not landed her in the principal's office (if it were me, I'd be suspended…). It has something to do with the fact that her parents chair the School Board, and both of them have just as much touchiness. Anyone that does her wrong ends tied up in a potato sack.

If I would be so lucky.

I tip sideways, into Sissy, who herself falls, twisting, to the ground. Her tray avoids her – how does she have all the luck? - while I don't.

I find myself staring in the Eyes of Doom.

Cissy roughly shoves me off, and my shoulder blade slams into the corner of the table. That's going to leave a mark.

Wincing, I use the table to pull myself up, to meet Ben's, Yvette's, and Liz's wide-eyed shock.

I turn to see what they're looking at.

Cissy is struggling to get up. She manages to get her right leg up, but when she tries to stand on her left as well, it collapses beneath her.

I am so dead.

This is the week of the play-offs.

And if I'm not mistaken, Cissy twisted her ankle, if not broke it.

I've doomed the team.

And myself, because she takes my hand, pulls me to her, and furiously enunciates-

"You. Are. Dead."

I swear I saw skulls in her eyes, though the statement alone confirms my self-pronounced death sentence.

Ben kindly helps her up, and leads her, presumably, to the nurse's office.

I meekly gather my trash, throw it away, and slink to class. Yvette and Liz accompany me with the statements, "Scratch that, you have fallen. And hard!"

"Have a nice trip, see you next fall!" There are moments when I love my best friends. And there are moments when I want to kill them. Though, considering my own fate, I don't know that I'll have the opportunity.

It has grown impossibly worse.

t.b.c