Title: Better Than a Soap Opera

Chapter: Weddings Are Hellish

Summary: Sam and Emily always seemed destined to get married from the moment they learned to accept each other. But, really, did Emily have to torture Leah further by actually having her be a bridesmaid?

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with Twilight. That's all Stephenie Meyer. I just like the empty holes I can fill up with my imagination. :3 But, really, who doesn't find joy in fan fiction?

"..."

I stare blankly at her. My cousin. My best friend. My sister. The utter pain of my lovely existance?

Yeah, Emily Young is all of those and more. I loved her so much. I love her so much. It isn't the past tense of the word. She is still family, still my best friend in this horribly cruel world that I just happen to live in. She is generally still my best friend because I don't have any other friends. Apparently, after Sam's sudden betrayal of our love for the imprinting our kind goes through somehow, I became bitter and... Well, let's face it. The way to recovery is admittance, right? I became the total bitch. Number one exclusively.

Strange. I love what I am, and I hate it so incredibly much. Do I mean being a bitch? Do I mean being heart broken? Do I mean the fact that I can willingly change into a small, gray wolf?

Yes. All of it, I suppose.

So, why go through this little rant all over again? Obviously I have been down this road before. It isn't new to me or to anybody else in the pack. I am torturing myself all over again--and thus, my pack as well--all because Emily... Dear, sweet, amazing Emily has just gushed to me about Sam finally proposing.

"It was sweet, Leah. You just couldn't have imagined it. He was so nervous. I always figured he would just drag me down to a church, no word. You know Sam. But this time, he surprised me."

"Yeah. I know Sam."

"Leah... I love him."

"Yeah. I know, Emily."

"Leah, I want you to be in the wedding. I want you to be my Maid of Honor. There is no other choice. No other candidates. Please, Leah."

So, here is my new dilemma. The freakin' Maid. Of. Honor. No other choices to be made. Not even some dumpy cousin somwhere on another reservation that we never talked to because she was slightly weird and probably bullied us as children. Emily couldn't have even used her. No, she begged me instead.

I'm being pulled to all sides. All arguments. I want to hug Emily. I want to laugh with her. I want to cry with her. I want to hit, attack her, let her know how much she hurt me.

I want to plan a wedding with Emily. But not her wedding. Not her wedding to Sam. It was supposed to be my sweet engagement to Sam, my wedding. She should have been my Maid of Honor. We should be having children together and laughing at our eccentric husbands. That was the life that I wanted.

Why couldn't I have it? Why did fate screw me over on this one? Why me? Why?

"Leah?" Emily touches my arm, and I can see that I have hurt her by not answering. I'm just sitting there, staring at her, ranting in my mind. But her touch isn't helping me, and I pull away from her hand abruptly. I don't want to hurt her because I love her, but she's hurting me by just existing.

And that's just so unfair.

So completely, utterly unfair. To her. To me. To Sam.

It's unfair to my brother, who lives with me. Who saw what Sam breaking up with me for Emily did to me.

It's unfair to my pack, who has to deal with my maliciousness when all I'm trying to do is forget. Forget about Sam, even though he's always there, in my head. Forget about Emily, who I want to still love. Forget that I'm obviously a broken commodity, and that's why Sam couldn't love me completely. I'm broken. That's it. That's why Sam couldn't imprint with me. I'm not good enough.

Right? Isn't that it?

"Oh, Leah..."

"I'm sorry, Emily. I just spaced there for a minute."

"What were you thinking?"

I smile at her, and she smiles back, happy to see some life come back into my face. I can lie to her. She can't read my mind, but I know the boys will know all that has happened here the moment that I phase. That's okay. I just don't want to make her unhappy. "About dresses. I really don't want to be stuck in some awful plum colored dress with big frou-frou sleeves, okay?"

Emily bursts out laughing, hugging me tightly to her. I let her, because that's what she wants from me. I even manage to wrap my arms around her as well, though I'm falling apart inside. "Lee-Lee, really. I have better taste than that!"

"Yeah, I know. I'm just trying to remind you to not dress me into something tacky."

"Nothing tacky. I promise you, Leah."

"I'm happy for you," I manage to say as well, kissing her scarred cheek. A reminder, to me and to her. Something the three of us share.

I leave her place not long after, itching to get away and stop being human. I rush outside, not caring if she realizes that I'm running from her and my promises. I don't even care that I haven't taken my clothes off. As soon as I hit the trees, I'm phasing. My body twists and changes.

Man, I would love to see you in that dress, Jacob immediately says, laughing at me in his head. I see the images he brings up of me in that plum atrocity I lied about.

I can't believe you actually thought about attacking Emily! Sam is going to be pissed when he hears this! Embry quips, and I growl.

I would never do it. Get out of my mind! I am so angry, so angry that these losers get to see a pain I don't ever want bared or known.

Leah... We're sorry. I'm sorry...

I know that Embry is, and I can see images from Jacob's mind about learning of his human's own marriage to a leech. They feel sorry for me, and it makes me so much angrier. I can't stand this pity. I growl again, loudly, and accompany the sound with brutal images of me tearing the boys apart. They're shocked, but only because of the out right violence I'm projecting at them. Bite me.

Embry howls somewhere in the distance. I can't help but pity you. I feel what you feel too much. Maybe now you know how I felt... When, well, you know...

I'm running then. Running so far and so fast, only thinking of the trees and the wind and all the scents passing me by in the air. I am a bitch.

And I am so sorry for it, for the pain and bitterness that won't let me go. Or, maybe, it's me that isn't letting go.

AN: I'm not sure if I got Leah down right. It might seem a little OOC-ish, but I call them as I see them. So, give me feedback and let me know how I did with Leah! And,if you have ideas, I'm always open to them!