Standard disclaimers apply. I'm just borrowing these characters for a little while.
Author's note: Kishimoto-sensei's plan is to fit the entire 4th Shinobi War Arc into a matter of days in the Naruto timeline, but I'm taking the liberty of extending it since war is never so quick and clean-cut. Events from the manga will be added, removed or shifted around. Please pardon my impudence.
Incidentally, Batang May Scolio wins the 'Longest Review for This Fanfic to Date' award. Not sure what that entails, but long reviews = LOVE (once more, with feeling!).
As one of the few senior medics around, it was only natural that Sakura was part of the operations to set up the medic base. She had known this in advance, and took her leave from Gaara's side to spend the next twelve hours or so helping Shizune co-ordinate everything.
Despite the guilt gnawing at her, Sakura went ahead and pulled Ino into the task as well. Ino would be much better off manning the medic base than helping set it up, and Sakura knew that only too well. She was abusing her powers, clear and simple. But after that talk she had with Gaara about Sasuke, she really needed a sounding board, or else she was sure she would go mad with all the questions buzzing about in her head.
"You know, Forehead-girl, you could make really short work of all these by using some of that crazy strength of yours," grumbled Ino.
"Chin up, Ino-pig – you're a medic, too. It'll be good for you to know the medic base inside-out in case you get stationed for shifts here."
Ino stopped abruptly, dropping the bundle of tents she was dragging behind her. She then turned to Sakura with a devious grin.
"Oh, you just completely blew your cover, Sakura; you have always been less than thrilled to have me messing around your 'territory'. Let me guess – you want to talk to me about something, right?"
Ino looked so pleased with her deductions that Sakura had to mentally count to ten while reminding herself that if she killed Ino, it would completely defeat the purpose of getting her here in the first place.
"Fine, you win, Ino," Sakura glanced about quickly and then bent in to whisper, "Can we talk in your tent tonight?"
"Of course, Sakura. Bring me your tired man-woes, your weary male heartaches, and I shall heal them all for you," Ino intoned dramatically, causing a few shinobis to look their way.
Sakura was beginning to wonder if she would be better off talking to one of the many rocks dotting the landscape instead.
By the time Shizune saw fit to dismiss Sakura for the night, the hour was already well past midnight. Internally, Sakura groaned, wondering if Ino was already asleep and that all her scheming was for naught.
However, the light coming from inside Ino's tent appeared to be telling a different story. Sakura practically jogged over to the tent, only to come to a screeching halt a few steps away from it when it became apparent that there was someone else in the tent as well.
"Sakura?" Ino stuck her head out, frowning, "Geez, what took you so long? I'm losing beauty sleep over this, you know."
"Erm, Ino, if you don't mind me asking – who is inside the tent with you?"
"Hi, Sakura!" Ten Ten poked her head out next to Ino's.
That was… unexpected. She didn't remember summoning Ten Ten for base establishment duties.
"Shizune-san asked me to help flatten out the terrain," Ten Ten offered as an explanation, seeing Sakura's puzzled look.
Sakura looked back and forth between the two girls. It would not be polite to ask Ten Ten to leave just so she could talk privately to Ino – it would make it seem as if she didn't trust the Weapons Mistress.
"Sakura and I are planning to talk about guys," Ino spoke up.
Inwardly, Sakura slapped her forehead. That was akin to dangling a bowl of ramen in front of Naruto and expecting him to walk away without touching it. There was no way Ten Ten was going to leave now.
As if to confirm her suspicions, Ten Ten clapped her hands together and cheerfully said, "Oooo, a girl-talk session? Can I join? Can I? I have TONS of stuff I want to get off my chest!"
That's my line, thought Sakura miserably.
"What do you say, Sakura? Can Ten Ten join us?" asked Ino.
As if she could bring herself to say "no" and not come off as completely insulting.
"It's fine with me," Sakura mumbled as she stooped to walk into the small tent.
The tent was obviously built to barely house two full-grown man, so it was a bit of a squeeze for three teenage girls. There were some muttered apologies as they accidentally jostled against each other in order to make themselves comfortable.
Eventually, they were able to settle down. And a staring contest ensued.
No one knew who was supposed to start first.
So Ino took it upon herself to break the ice – "Ten Ten, why don't you tell us your stuff first? I think Sakura's going to toss some real heavy baggage on us, and I don't want to start things off on such a dismal tone."
"It's about Neji…"
And for the next half an hour or so, Sakura became privy to more knowledge about the Hyuuga prodigy than she ever wanted to know. One might even say that she has just learnt a little too much information to ever look at Neji the same way the next time they cross paths.
Ino, on the other hand, had just gotten at least a year's worth of gossip material out of Ten Ten. And the poor girl probably wasn't any wiser.
"And now," Ino adjusted her seat cushion so as to face Sakura, "The girl who started this whole session in the first place. Want to start, Sakura?"
Sakura sighed at the expectant looks thrown her way by both girls. If they wanted entertainment or some juicy gossip, they were in for a serious disappointment.
"Ino, when did you discover that you were in love with Sasuke?" Might as well get right to the meat of the matter.
Ino could only stare at Sakura like she had just told her a very tasteless joke. When it became obvious that her best friend was being completely serious, Ino sighed and gave her a look of resignation.
"Sakura, I was never in love with Sasuke."
Now it was Sakura's turn to look unconvinced, "But when we were younger, we…"
"Ok, Sakura, here's the thing," began Ino, "I was completely crushing on Sasuke when we were younger. In fact, just about every girl of his age in the village had a thing for him. He was so cool, he was practically untouchable, and every girl wanted to be the one to melt his ice-cold exterior and find the passion within.
"Did I fantasise about how it would be like to go on a date with Sasuke, with him whispering sweet little nothings to me? Yes. Did I scribble 'Uchiha Ino' all over my academy textbooks? Yes. Did I want to be able to brag that I've bagged the last surviving Uchiha as a husband? Yes. Did I want to tear you a new one when I learnt that he was going to be on your team? Hell, yes.
"But you know what, Sakura? It was just a crush; a silly little girlish fantasy that I grew out of. I was never in love with Sasuke. Period."
The silence in the tent was overbearing, and Ten Ten tried to clear her throat as quietly as possible.
"Erm, would this be a bad time to say that I thought Sasuke was pretty cute, too?" muttered Ten Ten.
"Yes, it would be," sighed Ino.
Sakura had been oddly silent throughout the entirety of Ino's speech, and one look at her face immediately told Ino that Sakura was completely baffled out of her brains by what she had just heard.
"I think I love him, Ino," Sakura uttered those words so softly that Ino had to strain to hear them, and then pat her ears a little just to make sure she didn't mistake what Sakura said for something else.
In the ensuing silence, Ten Ten took the chance to sneak out of the tent – she knew that this was one conversation that she should not be listening in on.
Ino scowled at Sakura's dejected expression, "Sakura, I might be going out on a limb here, but I believe you are confusing your emotions."
Sakura knitted her brows, a gesture for Ino to elaborate further.
"Your team had gone through more life-and-death situations as genins than any other team, so it would only be natural for a stronger bond to develop between you, Naruto and Sasuke as a result," then Ino added as an afterthought, "And maybe with Kakashi-sensei, too.
"When Sasuke left, it took a whole bunch of us to convince you that it was not your fault for failing to stop him, and I'm thinking you still believe that it's your fault. Sasuke was determined to go to Orochimaru, and I think you knew that deep down inside of you, he would have gone eventually because of his thirst for vengeance. He had referred to himself as an 'avenger' on more than one occasion.
"You have to ask yourself, Sakura – is the current Sasuke even recognisable any more? Besides his looks, I've heard that the rest of him has changed for the worse. Didn't he put a sword through his own teammate so he could kill Danzo? … Karin, was that her name? Is that the Sasuke you want to be with?
"Sakura, we've been friends since forever, and I know what you want in a guy. You want someone who would respect you; not belittle your abilities. You want someone who would go star-gazing with you; Sasuke will probably consider such an activity a waste of time. You need someone to see how talented you are as a kunoichi and a medic; Sasuke can only see weaknesses and exploit them."
The more Ino said, the worse Sakura felt. She felt terrible because everything Ino has said so far, she had hit the nail square on the head.
Sasuke was no longer the boy she once envisioned a future with. That much she understood.
"In short, Forehead-girl, I think you've confused your guilt of letting him leave the village for love; you have confused your failure to stop him as a sign that your love was not enough to hold him back. Then you had to make a promise with Naruto to bring Sasuke back, and when that didn't pan out, it just renews that feeling of not being able to give Sasuke enough love to return," Ino summarised, "Tell me if I'm wrong."
Sakura's eyes were downcast, and her brain was working overtime.
Could she really have confused her guilt for love?
She remembered how a little part of her seemed to have died when Sasuke was nearly killed by Haku years ago, and how thrilled she was when he woke up all grumpy and alive. Even if his first comment was about how heavy she was.
She remembered wanting to just spend time alone with him, and how he had brushed her off by calling her "worse than Naruto" and telling her to spend more time training instead. The feeling of crushing disappointment that she had felt back then seemed so trivial now. She might not be as powerful a shinobi as Naruto, but the great strides she had made as a medic-nin and a kunoichi was nothing to be sneezed at either.
She remembered how Sasuke had brightened her day when they went to take their Chunnin exams; how his simple acknowledgement of her genjutsu and decoding skills were the best in their class had made her feel like he had always noticed her among all his fangirls. It had taken so little to have made her so happy. Now, though, happiness was found in putting those actual skills to work.
She remembered the bloodthirsty look on his face when they faced off the Oto shinobis during the genin exams, and how terrified it made her. And yet how it made her feel empowered when she was able to restrain him with an embrace.
It must have been that moment that she thought she could always placid his inner demons with her presence.
She remembered that fight between Sasuke and Naruto on the hospital rooftop, and how she would have died if Kakashi had not intervened at the last possible moment. And how the worst part of that was when Sasuke left without even checking on her after nearly killing her.
If she had to be completely objective about it, she could only draw one conclusion: Sasuke had given her nothing but grief and heartache. There had never been any indications from him that he had wanted her as anyone more than a teammate, let alone saw a future together with her.
Sakura sat up a little straighter, a new brightness in her eyes even as her lips thinned.
"I am in love, but with an idealised, impossible version of Sasuke. So what I really want is someone who embodies those qualities, and he does not necessarily have to be Sasuke," Sakura said.
Ino blinked, surprised that Sakura had managed to come to such a conclusion so quickly.
"Well, at least this proves that your huge forehead is not all bone, no brain."
"Ino-pig!"
"Relax, Forehead-girl. I'm just glad you got that out of your oversize head," Ino reached over to place her hand over Sakura's affectionately, "I can't believe you have been letting that guilt stew inside you for so many years. Now the question is – will you let go of that guilt?"
"I think I can only answer that when I encounter Sasuke again," Sakura smiled forlornly.
At the very least, it was a step in the right direction.
"Thanks for listening, Ino."
"You're welcomed," Ino replied, when flashed her a Cheshire smile, "So, are you going to hurry back to your beloved Kazekage's side now, or are you going to camp here tonight?"
At that precise moment, the sand-cat came sauntering into the tent as if he owned the place, as most cats were wont to do. Ino reached out to scratch its chin, and she managed to get a few rubs in before the sand-cat turned around to look at Sakura over its shoulder.
Without any vocal cords, the sand-cat could not meow, so it communicated with Sakura in purrs that sounded like sand rubbing against itself, as he was doing right now.
Not that Sakura was able to understand it, in the first place. But she took it as a sign nonetheless.
"I think Mr. Fluffy-kins wants me to return to the 4th Division tonight – Gaara might just skip his chakra pills if I am not there to keep an eye on him."
"Excuses, excuses," Ino gave her a look of mock disdain, "Hurry back to your 'Gaara', Forehead-girl."
Sakura picked the sand-cat up and let it settle on her shoulders before making for the tent flap. Just before she crossed the threshold, she turned her head to smile at Ino.
"Thanks again, Ino." Sakura smiled.
"Watch yourself out on the front."
"You, too."
"And, Sakura?" Ino grinned audaciously at her, "Don't forget to take your pill, Miss Medic-nin."
"Ino-pig!"