-AN-

Well another chapter down! I'm so happy that you all liked the 3rd chapter so much. It was so fun to write. This one is kind of angsty with a little language so readers beware! Hope you like it. The next chapter will be fun and lighter I swear!

-10 Years later-

-Spock-

The year was 2255, and ten years later I could still feel her presence. After a particularly long night of grading student papers, I had decided to meditate in my quarters before retiring for bed. Meditation was my preferred method of detoxing the stress of the day before allowing myself to sleep. However, approximately 2.2 hours into my meditation I was violently assaulted by a wave of foreign emotions. The sudden shock knocked the air out of my chest cavity. Clutching at my chest I attempted to dull the emotions being sent to me, but it was to little avail. My breathing had evened but the sensations kept pouring into me uncontrollably. This was the first time I had regretted keeping the bond that had formed between Nyota Uhura and I ten years prior.

Often times humans who I have interacted with forget common courtesy and have touched me without permission. This results in a small bond between myself and the person who has laid hands upon me. The bond is not strong enough to make telepathy possible, but I do feel the full spectrum of their emotions. Since this could be a potential hazard to my logical mind, I have always severed any accidental bonds that have formed immediately. However on the day Nyota Uhura touched me I did not feel repulsed by her contact. I did not feel that her emotions were obstructing my logic. I was feeling a wide range of emotions which both frightened and intrigued me. Before her hands left mine a single telepathic message was sent over to me, "Thank you". Her voice resonated in my mind like the chime of a bell. I enjoyed the sensation as it was unlike any other telepathic communication I had ever received. After leaving her company I decided to make a mental pro and con chart to keep this small bond alive in my mind. On the pro side, exposure to Uhura's emotions could benefit my understanding of the human mind. On the con side, exposure to her emotions may lead to illogical thoughts or decisions and may come to be a distraction.

I evaluated my mental chart 4 times and every time the cons would outweigh the pros significantly. Surprisingly, even with all of this data I decided to keep the bond alive. Since the United Federation of Planets Convention, I have been able to experience Uhura's emotions on a daily basis. I am able to keep the connection in control and can mute it if need be. The bond is not strong enough for her to communicate with me nor I with her which helps to avoid unnecessary involvement with one another's lives. I have been able to successfully observe her emotions without knowing what stimulus has caused them so her life could be kept private. So far I have learned to correctly identify over 205 human emotions with the assistance of Nyota Uhura. At the moment however, I was unable to accurately define her current emotional state.

Pain. Sorrow. Disappointment. Fulfillment. Pride. Disgust. Rage.

The feelings kept changing and I was unable to isolate one for any amount of time. The outbreak continued for 35 minutes. Each time I thought the end was near her emotions would well up again and overflow into me. This had to end. Although her emotions were injuring me, our bond was quite weak. I suspect the harm being inflicted upon herself by these emotions were far more intense than what I was feeling.

I had two options:

Break the bond

Attempt to strengthen the bond and ease her pain temporarily

I had no desire to lose the bond that I had carefully observed for so many years. This meant that option two was preferable. I adjusted myself on the floor into a meditative pose. My mind loosened and probed for the bond between us. Since the bond was highly active, it was simple to find. I latched onto it and began strengthening the link. If this did not work I would have 6 minutes until I would be forced to leave her mind and permanently break the bond. As soon as the bond was strengthened to the highest level possible, I began to attempt telepathic communication. I sent over waves of comfort that I had learned from Uhura herself 8 years ago. Her pain began to ebb. My breathing became fully functional. After 4 minutes the emotions were nearly eradicated from her mind. To finalize our communication I decided to speak just one word to help ease her mind.

"Sleep"

With that utterance her pain was lifted. I assumed she had taken my suggestion and gone to sleep. Now that that was settled it was my turn to rest. As soon as entered my bed, weariness started to overtake me. Opening the bond so quickly had drained my energy. I hope to never feel those emotions again. Strangely, I also hope Uhura never feels those emotions again. To keep myself from harm the ultimate precautionary step would be to break the bond completely; but I did not wish to lose my only tie to a human besides my mother. This small well of emotion that Nyota Uhura provided me was one of my most precious belongings. I have no intention of ever losing it.

-Uhura-

The year was 2255 and I was just about to receive my diploma from the Institute of Advanced Mathematics. I walked up to the podium to accept the single sheet of paper that certified that I had graduated with a master's degree in mathematics and a minor in computer engineering. After four long years I was done. After the graduation ceremony ended my family came to congratulate me.

My mother gave me a deathly tight hug. "My star I am so proud of you. This was not an easy task graduating with honors from such a prestigious institute."

"Thank you. It was a ton of work, but nothing I couldn't handle." Fearing for my life, I broke away from her hug and turned to look at my father and two older siblings.

My sister Makena had managed to escape from her job and home duties to attend my graduation. My brother Kamau had done the same. Father had closed down all company business for the day just so he could see me. I felt very touched that they had taken the time to see my accomplishments. It almost made me regret that I had chosen today to make an important announcement.

"Nyota since you have gone through college without taking a summer quarter off I will allow you to take this summer off before officially joining the company." My father joyfully said this to me while we all made our way to the family's privately owned shuttlecraft.

My stomach dropped and I did not respond to his comment. Instead I decided to change the subject. "Father have you sent anyone to retrieve my things from my dorm?"

"Yes yes the drivers have already taken care of it. Now get move on so we can get home soon." He hurried us into the craft and we awaited clearance for takeoff.

My family had taken a seat while I remained standing. I inhaled deeply and stared at the people before me. They were my family and they would hopefully accept me no matter what decisions I made.

"What are you staring at us for Nyota?" Kamau said in a jovial manner.

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." I mumbled under my breath.

"What?" My father responded indifferently.

"I said the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, father." This time I said the words with pride. This idea that a stranger had taught me years ago had become the mantra for my life. It gave me strength when I needed it, and boy did I need it now.

"Nyota, what exactly is that supposed to mean?" father spat angrily. His expression grew intense. The air in the craft began to get heavy.

I paused and mustered up all of my courage.

"I am not going to work for you father. I am going to join Star Fleet."

My father stood up enraged and flung his arms out, "What the hell do you mean Nyota?"

"It means that I am finally going to follow my dreams instead of always following your orders. I am going to go where the word needs me most, Star Fleet."

"Well what exactly are you going to do there? You don't have any skills that they need. I've raised you to be exactly what I want nothing else."

"It's true that I have followed your orders all my life. I graduated from the high school of your choice with honors. I graduated from the college of your choice with honors. I have only participated in extracurricular activities that have been hand-picked by you. However while I've been fulfilling your wishes I have been working to make mine come true as well. Everyday I've been learning alien languages; every day since I was 7." I paused to take a deep breath. The room was silent. "I'm going to be a communications officer father. I have all the skills needed to do it." I felt so triumphant saying that. My chest felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of it.

My father's lips formed a thin line. "Now who the hell started planting these ideas in your head? Huh? Who the fuck was it!?" He was screaming at this point.

Just as he was about to boil over one of our drivers entered the shuttle craft.

"Sir the craft is ready for take-"

My father slammed his fist into the wall of the craft.

"Keep it grounded until I tell you to! Now get the hell out of here." He violently ordered the driver. As soon as the driver exited the craft father's eyes began to shift around to each of us. He stared at me hoping to see signs of who had provided me with the resources to learn. My siblings all averted their eyes and stared at the floor. My mother glared back at him.

"Husband stop this foolishness right now." She stood up and put a shoulder around him.

"Ah, I see. It was you wasn't it?" Father grabbed my mother and raised his hand to strike her across the face.

My body reacted and I threw myself on top of my father to prevent him from assaulting mother. Mother fell to the floor. Using my left arm, I propped myself back up again and helped mother to her feet. I watched as father picked himself up off the ground. He straightened out his clothes and gave me a look that I had never seen before. I stared back. My father raised his hand and slapped me straight across the face. I tasted blood in my mouth, but did not avert my gaze. My siblings continued to do nothing.

"Get out." He breathed and pointed to the shuttle craft door. "You are no longer my daughter. I do not wish to see or speak to you ever again."

"Dear you don't really mean that!" Mother cried and grabbed onto my father.

"Get off of me M'umba. I will deal with you later." He shook her off and glowered at me, "Now out. Gather your things and go."

I glanced at my broken family one last time before calmly leaving the craft. No one was looking at me besides my father.

"You know, when I was in college I dated a Betazoid." With that I took my leave. As the doors closed behind me I could hear my father roar in anger. Thankfully the drivers had overheard the conversation and had already removed my luggage. I was glad I didn't own a lot since I would now have to carry it all.

A few blocks down from the college there was a cheap motel I could stay at. I was extemely thankful that I had taken a part time job at the school the previous year. Washing beakers and measuring chemicals as a lab assistant didn't seem quite so useless now. I paid for my room and started the arduous task of lugging my 2 enormous suitcases up the stairs. The Rigelian motel owner graciously carried one of my suitcases up to my room on the second floor for me. I thanked him for his kindness and he was on his way. I opened my hotel room and carried my belongings into my room. Once I was situated I decided to sit down on my bed. For a moment I sat in silence staring at the pale wall. I was alone. For the first time in my life I was truly alone. Clutching at my feet I curled up into a ball at the foot of my bed. Tears began to well up in my eyes. The stony mask I had managed to keep in front of my family was breaking.

"Why? I didn't think it would really go like this…" I whispered to myself. Trying to keep myself together was proving futile. Every time I took a breath, the realization that I was now alone in the world flooded into my mind. The emotions became too strong and I was no longer able to hold them back. Sobs escaped from my mouth as I let my emotions loose. The tears ran down my face and stung at my eyes. My chest filled with an dense blackness. Breathing became nearly impossible. I felt like I was going to die.

Why had my family abandoned me like that? Why were my dreams judged so harshly? How come my siblings had done absolutely nothing to stop my father from raising a hand against mother? Or even me for that matter?

"Help…" I whimpered into my hands. "I need help… Somebody please."

My pleas for help were futile and I knew it. Throughout my college career I had only made a handful of friends. They had either gone back home or I wasn't close enough to them to ask for emotional assistance. My extended family wasn't an option either. I'm sure they would blindly follow my father's opinions and shun me from their lives as well. I swallowed after a particularly long sobbing fit and allowed myself to feel some pride in what I had accomplished. I was now on my way towards my dream at Star Fleet. For a moment I was able to stop all thoughts and smile. The sentiment did not last long though. An image of my mother's face as I left the shuttlecraft flashed before my eyes. My negative feeling sprung back and I was bawling once more.

"Please… mother… Help." My eyes were so blurry that I could barely see. Staring blindly at the door was not going to make her magically appear in front of me.

After more than half an hour my body had run out of tears. I could feel the makeup run down my face as I lay curled up on the bed. My tears had now been replaced with a strong feeling of anger and abandonment. It made me feel empty. I rolled onto my back to stare at the ceiling. Although I wasn't sobbing anymore I still felt the black weight in my chest. It was expanding like a poison through my body.

Deeper. Deeper. Deeper.

Just as the blackness began to creep deeper into me, I sensed a small ray of light enter my mind. The warmth from it resonated throughout my body and made me feel lighter. It felt familiar and foreign at the same time. It was the most soothing experience I had ever felt. The warmth seeped into my muscles and down into my nervous system. My muscles unclenched themselves and I was now splayed out comfortably on the bed. The negative thoughts drained out of me, leaving only the positive. I had already received my acceptance letter from Star Fleet. I had enough money to buy a ticket to San Francisco. Finally I was able to live my life the way I had wanted to. I smiled and slowly closed my swollen eyes. A small voice inside my head whispered something, but I couldn't understand it. The voice was cool and soothing though. I savored the sound and slowly drifted off to sleep.