THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 6

"ALONE "

It had been back on that planet that Cassandra Frasier first felt this sensation and she hated it. She was just a kid then, all alone on a planet with no idea of what had happened, of why those bad people had taken her, but she was a scared little child and now at 18 she felt as if she was right back there on that planet all alone.

Her mother was on a hospital bed dying while the man she thought of as a father was right next to her within an inch of his life and all she could do was stay at home and wait for news about their conditions. With the craziness at the base, it was no time for a civilian to be around. Daniel was busy, as was Teal'c, and her second mother was gone.

Sure she was here with her, but it felt as if she was just taking her in because of what had happened, not to mention how awkward it was to be around the cop, Sam's boyfriend. So she had spent most of her time in her room and Sam had not bothered to see if she was all right. She needed Sam but it was becoming clear that Sam did not need her.

Sam had Pete. That was why when Jack had woken up and come to see her, she had ask him to take her in, to let her stay with him.

"I... I don't... it doesn't feel right here anymore."

"Cass what's wrong?"

"It's ...just, please, I… I want to stay with you."

He had not fought her and to Cassie's disappointment and sadness, neither had Sam. Her words had hurt her.

Maybe it's better this way.

Sam's words to Jack O'Neill when he had told her of Cassie's request. She would never forget those words. So she had moved in with Jack and the emptiness and sorrow and the solitude she was feeling had left her. Jack was Jack, he gave her updates, told her that every thing was going to be fine, consoled her and let her cry on his shoulder. Bottom line, he was there for her.

She was a strong woman, independent and she survived and moved on, but she like every human needed some one to hold her and tell her and reassure her that everything was going to be okay. Jack knew that because he himself had needed those things at one point in his life.

"The doc says your mom is getting stronger."

"I just wish she would wake up."

"She will in time. Her body needs to heal, Cass."

She knew that and she knew the risk but she was prepared to accept whatever the outcome would be. Jack had told her the truth and she was thankful for it. He didn't sugar coat things for her.

"It's touch and go Cass, it could go either way."

She was hurt but it was the truth. As much as she didn't want to think about that possibility she needed to keep it in mind.

"But no matter what, you have all of us Cass, you have me and believe me kid I'll be here for you."

She knew that and was thankful that he had reassured her and she knew that Daniel and Teal'c would be there for her. Even General Hammond, but Sam she was not so sure. Sam's visits had been made things awkward between them and her words kept repeating inside her mind.

For a minute Cassie believed that things were going to be better. She was wrong. Anubis was attacking; the Earth was facing destruction and Jack O'Neill had given his all to stop him. The night he came home she knew that something was wrong. He seemed to be his usual self more so than usual. She knew him better though and knew that something was wrong.

What gave him away was when he said kosars instead of legs. Jack didn't know what he'd said but by the look on Cassie's face he knew he had said something he shouldn't have.

"What's going on?"

"I..."

"Jack."

"There is something about me you don't know. A couple of years back I received a download."

"Received a download?"

"A whole civilization's knowledge was downloaded into my head."

"How is that possible?"

"The Asgard think I'm genetically advance enough to retain the data."

"You're advanced? How advanced?"

"Advanced enough to take a second download."

"This is bad isn't it? Or else you would have said something earlier."

"The first time it almost killed me. The Asgard saved me but this time... we don't know were they are."

She stayed silent and closed her eyes. He waited for her to say something but nothing was said and she began to sob. Jack didn't want this, he didn't need this. Taking a deep breath he hugged and tried to comfort her to no avail. She rushed to her room and locked herself in. He knew she had to be feeling as if everything she cared about was being lost to her and he needed to fix that.

Deep within his mind he knew he had the power to change that. Walking out of his house the next morning he headed to the SGC. Cassie still was locked in her room and did not want to come out now. Entering the mountain the feeling he had all night began to increase and he headed towards the infirmary.

Janet laid there between life and death, her coma was worsening and he knew that without him Cassie would have to turn to Carter. And Sam was already making plans to live her life with Pete. He knew Sam cared for Cassie, but he also knew that with a new life came the demands of the new spouse.

He couldn't take that chance. Without thinking he placed his hand on Janet and focused. He was pushing hard trying to access the power that knew he had. Slowly a faint glow began to emerge from his hand but as soon as it began to glow it all but faded and he groaned. He felt tired and worn. Beginning to pant for air, he tried again and this time there was a bright flash and then it was over and he was on his knees.

Trying to catch his breath he saw one of the nurses walk in and raise an eyebrow. He smiled and just sat on a near by chair. He knew nurse Katling was religious and so she would assume he was just praying. He noticed as the woman frowned and looked at the monitors.

"Something wrong?"

"No, her vitals are stronger and she seems to be just sleeping… Her readings are all stable."

"You think she will wake up soon?"

"I don't know sir, but if these readings are right I wouldn't doubt that she would wake in a moment or so."

He smiled and nodded. That was good. He needed reassurance if this was his last good deed, Cassie wouldn't have to lose another mother and that is how he wanted it. Heading out of the infirmary he heard a faint gasp and saw the woman lying on the bed turn towards him. He smiled and walked out as her eyes closed again. Things would be all right.

When the time came and Sam arrived instead of Jack, Cassie knew that things had gone wrong.

"He isn't dead Cassie."

"No, he is just frozen."

"It's going to be ok."

"No, it's not, but at least mom is going to be ok."

"In the mean time…"

"Nothing changes. I'll be living here."

"Cass come on…"

"I don't want to intrude on your life Sam."

"Cassie don't do this."

"Do what?"

"You don't understand so please let's just…"

"What don't I understand? That you'd rather be with some cop than with us?"

"That's not true!"

"Really? Where were you when mom was shot, where were you when Jack was hurt? You just came and twisted the knife didn't you!"

The last thing Cassie expected was to be hit by Sam, but it happened. The slap came without warning and she recoiled by the force. Sam's eyes were wide and but before she could apologize. Cassie pushed her out the door and locked herself in Jack's house.

"Go to you beloved boyfriend Sam."

"Cass this isn't fair."

"It's easier this way right?"

Sam froze and took a step away from the door as it opened again and a furious Cassie was standing in its arch, her eyes filled with hate and sorrow.

"I heard you Sam, I heard you! So stop pretending you care and just go."

"Cassie it ...you got it all wrong. I didn't."

"Yes you did. A new boyfriend, a new relationship, you didn't want to deal with the alien kid who was such an emotional mess you didn't know how to deal with her."

"I was hurting too."

"I needed you! And...y-you you went to him, left me alone, but you know what? I'm glad you did because I found someone who needed me more."

"W-what are you talking about?"

"You don't even see it; do you? You're just selfish?"

The door slammed and Sam found herself standing on the porch alone, a million question filled her mind and she closed her eyes. It wasn't true, she was the same Sam she had been, she hadn't changed. It was just that she had a life. She needed this... she needed to be able to know what it was like. She wasn't doing anything wrong. She never came back to Cassie.