Heart
Chapter 3 – My Heart
"This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours (my heart, it beats for you!)
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours,
This heart it beats, beats for only you (please don't go now, please don't fade away please don't go now)
My heart, my heart is yours (please don't go now! Please don't fade away!)
My heart is yours (please don't go now! Please don't fade away!)
My heart is yours (please don't go now! Please don't fade away!)
My heart is…(Please don't fade away…)"
- My Heart by Paramore
-----h-e-a-r-t-----
Warmth. It seemed to spread from the pit of her stomach, rising to her chest and then to her throat, as she let out a yawn. Her eyes flickered. Why was it so warm? She had been lying on a cold stone floor, dying what must have been only seconds before. She also noticed that this cold, hard floor seemed to be soft, and warm…extremely comfortable. And hadn't she died on her back? Now she was breathing, lying on her right side.
She opened her eyes, and the first thing she noticed made her gasp.
"K-Kaien-dono!" His eyes were closed, his lips slightly parted. His hair was tousled and his chest rose and fell slowly. His body faced her, and for the first time she noticed a hand on her face, as if his fingers had just been on her lips.
This was an occurrence Rukia had grown used to years ago; mornings like these where Miyako Shiba had been hunting hollows for days at a time, away from Seiretei.
She watched his face, before she forced herself to rip her open eyes from his closed ones and tried to think rationally.
I died. A frown formed on her face. When a soul dies, it becomes a Hollow or it ceases to exist…I think. She propped herself up on her elbows and looked around, and saw that she was in Kaien Shiba's room. It was unmistakably his; although the bare floorboards and white walls were in common with every shinigami's room, there was the usual mess that could only mean Kaien Shiba had been here. Clothes strewn haphazardly across the floor, more clothes folded messily and thrown over a chair (which had upturned), and random, half empty sake bottles lying on their sides, barely stayed on the desk.
In Karakura…in that world, they believed in a place called Heaven…if you were a good person, you went there…but Orihime thought that Heaven was a state where you went back to the happiest time of your life, I'm sure she said something like that once.
She looked back at Kaien's sleeping face. Is this my heaven? She soon dismissed the thought. She had never really believed in that whole 'Heaven' thing – not Inoue's view, nor the one everyone else had told her about…which seemed to be some kind of big chair in the clouds. She had mentally snorted at that one while saying "Ohh, Heaven sounds great, Asano-kun!"
So…what, then?
"What you thinking about so early in the morning, Kuchiki?" She flinched slightly in shock at hearing his voice, and looked over her shoulder at the blue eyes, which were now open, and looking at her in a lazy manner.
"K-Kaien…Kaien-dono…" She couldn't believe it; it was as if it was all those mornings from so long ago being repeated. How can he still be the same as before? Can't he remember what we've just come from?!
"Eh? Ah, Kuchiki don't cry! Y'know I hate it when people do that! What did I say, huh?" Rukia hadn't noticed how badly the corner of her eyes had been stinging until tears flowed down her cheeks and landed on the white bed sheets. He frowned. "Kuchiki, what's wrong?"
"Kaien-dono…don't you remember?"
He gave her a confused look. "Eh? Remember what?"
It was in that moment that she realised what this was. She realised why Kaien was being like this, being the way he had always been back then, on those mornings. She realised why she was back here, back at this moment in time where she was truly happy.
She smiled. I've been given a second chance. She rolled back into the bed and layed next to Kaien, wrapping her small arm around his torso as his head found the space between her neck and shoulder. And I won't ruin it this time.
"Remember what, Kuchiki?"
"Nothing, Kaien-dono."
-----h-e-a-r-t-----
He licked his lips in an agitated manner, his silver hair falling into his eyes as he looked down at two motionless bodies, lying side by side on the cold, white floor of Aizen's lair in Las Noches. Every now and then, he would pace back and forth for a few seconds, only to stop and look back at the girl's face, then his eyes would look at the older face of the young man lying beside her, and then without fail would trail back over the girl's small body and land on her face, his open eyes burning into her closed ones.
Dead. That's what she should have been.
He shivered slightly. Why did you have to come here, Rukia-chan?
"Gin." Ichimaru whipped round to see Aizen walking leisurely towards him, a contended smirk on his perfectly evil face. His eyes quickly became slits again and his mouth formed a wide grin.
"Aizen, 'sit nearly ready?"
Aizen stopped just a few feet before Gin and the two motionless bodies, sparing the bodies a glance before turning his attention to Gin. "They should be ready in a few moments, be patient."
Gin's grin grew wider, and a moment later, a dark skinned man wearing a white haori walked through the massive double doors, his dark hair flowing behind him, a visor covering his eyes.
"Aizen-sama, I apologize for my lateness. Have they awoken yet?"
"They should awaken in a few moments, Tousen."
Gin watched the girl intently out of the corner of his eye, looking for any muscle that might move, to see if her eyes might flicker sooner rather than later.
He had to ask. "What's gonna happen when they wake up, Aizen?"
"When they wake up?" Aizen smirked before replying, "When they wake up, Kurosaki Ichigo is as good as dead." He watched Gin from the side. Gin's face was uncharacteristically emotionless, as though he didn't think he was being watched, which he didn't.
A sudden noise was heard, like a gasp, and all three heads turned towards the two bodies on the floor. The girl's eyes flickered slightly, and her chest rose and fell as she began to breathe, but the raven-haired man was the first to push himself up with his elbows, blinking his blue eyes, a frown beginning to set in. He looked up to see the three ex-shingami before him.
"A-Aizen-sama! What am I-"
"You have been given a second chance, Alulueri. Do not waste it."
"Aizen-sama…what about Shiba?"
Aizen laughed slightly. "He won't be bothering you anymore."
Aaroniero looked over at the girl beside him, whose eyes were beginning to open. "And Kuchiki?"
"She and Shiba are in the same place. I've sent them to a state of mind where there were completely at ease in order to throw them off. They don't have a clue about any of this. Although they are still in both your bodies, they have no chance of escape, and you won't even hear them, because they don't know anything is even wrong."
"What does that mean, Aizen?" Gin suddenly asked.
There was a few seconds of silence before Aizen turned to Gin and said the words which startled him. "What is wrong with you, Gin?"
"Whadda ya mean, Aizen?"
"I can only remember your eyes being open once before; and that was when you said goodbye to Matsumoto Rangiku."
His eyes soon turned to slits and his grin became fox-like. "An' where's the problem in tha', Aizen?"
"The problem is this, Gin; if you have a problem, solve it. I won't have you distracted during this time of war."
Gin's grin grew, if possible, wider. "Ain't got a problem Aizen, but if I did, I'd do as ya said."
"I should hope so. To answer your question; to put it simply, Shiba and Kuchiki are trapped inside their own minds."
The ninth espada looked up at him in slight shock, before a smirk appeared on his lips. He bowed before standing up. "Thank you, Aizen-sama."
"I-Ich…" a sudden whisper was heard, and all four heads turned to the girl, who was trying to push herself up with her arms, her eyes half closed and her eyebrows furrowed. "I-Ichi…go…" Suddenly her eyes darted open and she jumped to her feet, looking at the four men in front of her. "Wh-where…Who…what's going on?" Her voice sounded so confused and helpless, Alulueri couldn't help but feel slight (and well hidden) anger towards Aizen.
She looked up at Aizen, who was wearing a benevolent smile; the same smile, Gin noted, that fooled Hinamori. Aizen continued to smile at her in this friendly way, and asked kindly, "Do you know who you are, your name?"
"I…I am…I am…" Her shoulders shook and sobs racked her small body. "I- I don't know…who or…where I am…where is this place? Who are you?"
"I am Aizen Sousuke, and from now on, you are safe." The girl looked up at him, her large, violet eyes sparkling with hope. "You will serve me, and you will be safe in return."
The girl's scared expression soon turned to happiness. "A-arigatou, Aizen-sama!" She bowed, and then stood up on shaky legs.
"What's her name, Aizen-sama?" Alulueri asked.
Aizen looked at him from the corner of his eye before lazily replying, "You choose, Alulueri."
"W-what? Are you serious, Aizen-sama?"
"Why wouldn't I be? I have no business in such trivial things as names. Call her as you wish."
"Arigatou, Aizen-sama!"
"Also. Since I have used the soukyoku to bring you back to life, you'll find that your powers have been magnified drastically. For this reason, you have been ranked to second espada." It was then that Alulueri noticed the distinct "2" on his bicep. "Your pet is also much stronger than Kuchiki Rukia was."
"Y-your name…" Alulueri turned to look at the girl standing beside him. "Your name is Aaroniero, isn't it?" Alulueri raised his eyebrows, and even Aizen seemed surprised.
"Ne, Aizen, 'thought she couldn't 'member a thing 'bout what happened?" Gin said.
"She doesn't know anything about her life before this," Tousen suddenly spoke. "She is reacting this way simply because she was created again with the intention to stay with Alulueri at all times. Since she has been programmed this way, it's all she knows."
"Aaroniero…" He turned his head back down to look at her, her shining violet orbs looking into his blue ones, imploring and loving. "What is my name?"
His voice nearly caught in his throat.
"When you die, your heart goes to your nakama."
"Kaien-dono…KAIEN-DONO!!"
"Ichigo…I leave you my heart…"
"Kuchiki…you still have my heart."
"My heart."
"My heart."
"My heart."
As he pushed the images and words from his mind, he knew the answer to her question. He reached out and placed a hand on her raven head.
"Your name is Mai Kokoro."
-----h-e-a-r-t-----
A scream ripped through the air; a scream so heart-wrenching that even Ogihci Ikasoruk was shocked enough to stop in his tracks and spin around to stare with wide eyes at the flame-haired girl.
Pain ripped through her; her head must have been bleeding, her chest must have been torn out, her heart must have been battered and broken on the ground, as she dropped to her knees and once again heard that sound – that horribly inhuman, gut-wrenching sound – which she soon realised was the scream that had been ripped from her own throat. Shaking, she gripped where she imagined her heart must be, where the pain was, tears streaming from her eyes and splashing to the cold floor, a pain that couldn't be described, a pain that knew no comfort, knew no sense, yet made her want to die, for the first time in her life, she wanted to crawl up and just die –
There was another scream, but this time it wasn't hers; it was a lot deeper, much more masculine, and then that same voice shouted to her. "INOUE!!"
She saw two knees skid to a stop in front of her and felt two hands on her shoulders, and out of the corner of her eye saw a shock of orange.
Sobs racked her body. "Ish…Ishida…"
"What? Inoue, it's me, Ichigo -"
"ISHIDA-KUN!!" Pain flooded her heart, her soul, her entire being, something was wrong, so, so wrong, because this wasn't her pain – it simply wasn't, the determined face that flashed through her mind wasn't hers –
"Inoue, what's wrong?!"
"Ishida-kun…we have to…SAVE URYU!!" There was one last, heart wrenching scream of panic, and then the sounds of Ishida Uryu's pain subsided. "No…no, no, no!! NO!!"
-----h-e-a-r-t-----
Crimson hair that trailed over his bloodstained face, mingling in such a way that it was almost impossible to tell the messed up hair from the blood. Shinigami robes that were torn at the stomach, ripped at the arms. A scarred, uncovered chest that heaved for air, that tried to breathe.
A mouth that twitched into a smile – a smile that showed how grateful he was to be alive, so grateful that there was a chance, if a small one, that he could see Rukia again…because he had felt her reiatsu flare, simply minutes ago, as if she had awoken from whatever death she had fallen into.
Abarai Renji looked at what was once the body of Szayel Aporro Granz, thoroughly ripped apart by both Renji and Ishida.
Ishida.
Renji's eyes turned to the second body on the ground, eyes open, with no glasses, and Renji decided that they must have been lost in the fight. Blood dripped from his open mouth, and his ripped clothes and dirtied wounds made him look so weak; so much weaker than the proud, strong Quincy with a reason to fight.
His reason to fight…Renji surveyed his open eyes, looking for the blazing determination that had burned in them before, but it was no longer there. His reason to fight, was Inoue-san.
Anyone else, anyone else standing where he was, anyone else looking down at a fallen comrade, friend, nakama, would have shed some tears, perhaps even stayed there the entire time, wallowing in grief and despair.
Umarekawaru koto wa dekinaiyo.
But he wasn't someone else. He was Abarai Renji, and he would make sure Ishida hadn't died for no reason, he would make sure that he himself would find Rukia, alive, and he would bring Inoue-san to Ishida's broken, battered body, and he would bring them all back out of Hueco Mundo, alive, as they'd sworn before.
He would find her, alive.
Rukia.
"Renji…" A short, raven haired woman walked swiftly beside a tall, crimson haired man, neither taking their eyes from the path in front of them, looking straight at the distant sight of a white blur straight up ahead, but far away, so far away…
"What?"
"You're…you're sure about this, right?" Renji's eyes widened at the hesitation in Rukia's voice. Rukia never worried about anything, always confident in her actions, in her judgement.
He stopped walking and put a hand on her shoulder to stop her, and she turned to him with wide eyes. None of them were looking at the Seiretei anymore.
"Rukia. I thought you wanted this?"
Uncertainty flashed across her eyes, if only for a second, before she replied firmly, "I do, Renji. I just don't want to be the reason that you're roped into doing something you don't want to do."
Silence for several moments. "They wanted us to make something of ourselves, right?" His eyes shifted to the hill high above them, barely just seeing the stone markers he and Rukia had put there, time after time, until…
"It's just us now, isn't it, Renji?"
…until they were all alone.
"…Yeah, Rukia. It's just you and me now."
"But…what if-"
He focussed his eyes back to hers, swimming with more pain than he'd ever seen in them before. "What if it happens again?" He understood her silence as confirmation. "What happened to them, Rukia, that can never happen to us now. Neither of us will die like they did. We're going to a better place now. We're going to the Seiretei now, huh? It's gonna be great, Rukia!"
He saw that his attempt to make her smile had worked, if only slightly.
"I'll miss them, Renji."
"I know. I will too."
"…What if one of us-"
"We won't, Rukia-"
"You don't know that, Renji!" Tears streamed down her cheeks as memory after memory flooded her eyes. "What if one us dies, Renji? I don't want…I don't want to lose you!"
His mouth fell open slightly, for two reasons. Rukia never, ever, ever cried in front of them, even when she spoke about the years she'd spent alone before she'd met them, and she especially never showed love for him or any other of their friends.
So without knowing what to do, he did the first thing he thought of.
He held her, and let her cry.
"Rukia, listen to me! I won't let you die, okay!" She looked up to him with shining violet eyes. "I won't let you die, Rukia! And I won't die either, okay? I'll keep myself alive just for you, right?"
She laughed slightly, smiling. "Are you kid-"
"It's a promise, Rukia." One look told her he was serious.
"Thank you, Abarai Renji."
Renji took one last look at his fallen nakama's face. You did good, kid. When Inoue brings you back, I won't let ya hear the end of it.
He turned his back and began to walk away.
It's strange, Rukia. I'll always keep that promise to you, but even after all we've been through…
"My heart isn't yours."
-----h-e-a-r-t--c-h-a-p-t-e-r--t-h-r-e-e-----
Heyho :3 How are we all today??
I'm really, really pleased with these reviews!! 19 reviews in 2 chapters, that's not bad at all :D
So, I'd like to thank:
The-long-lost-strawberry
sins
xianghua 4 kilik - - Yo Lizzle:P
Deleria-00
SAVADA
winter
? - - Thanks, randomer!! XD
Azure Teriques
Mai
-Of-The-Crow
ichirukifan
lu
ColourPearl
SyNemYoA
Jazzjackrabbit
Really, thanks a lot!! You all make my day x)
Soooo…you're all in for a few surprises.
You want spoilers??
Then ask nicely :B
Or you can automatically win a spoiler IF you can guess what Mai Kokoro (Ruki's new name) means :3 But THAT should be rather obvious, given the overall theme of this chapter :P
Sorry for the sheer length of this chapter!! You must have died reading it.
- Wait-For-Sleep