THE HERE AND NOW
CHAPTER 9
" RIPPLE "
Daniel always had been the one who could forgive and forget and she smiled at her old friend. He had not changed one bit and yet he somehow seemed rougher. He had hardened, had lost his up beat attitude. She wondered just how things were at the SGC. Clearing her mind, she handed him a coffee mug and he smiled at the smell of it, while she chuckled. Some things didn't change.
"So how you been?"
"I was going to ask the same question."
"This is awkward."
"You think?"
He smiled and tasted his coffee. Apparently things weren't going to be too easy. He was hurt and she couldn't blame him, but she wouldn't defend her actions, wouldn't justify to him why she had left and she wondered if he was going to bring up the subject. After all, he had come here to talk and as much as she wanted to befriend them again, she was unsure on how to go about doing such a thing.
Whether she liked it or not, things had changed, things were different. He was no longer the nice archeologist who would accept her with open arms, no more than she was the scientist who could figure out any problems with the Stargate.
"I came to give you these."
"Oh?"
She saw the envelops in his hand and cursed. He was not here to make friends; he was here to do a duty. Give her her father's letters. She smiled and nodded. He was about to stand and leave, but she stopped him. She reached towards him and held his hand.
"Daniel we don't need to do this."
"It seems you made your choice."
"You wouldn't understand."
"No, maybe I wouldn't have, but I was willing to listen."
He pulled away from her and she closed her eyes. She couldn't stop him from leaving. She didn't want to stop him. He had done his task and now he was on his way, his words echoing in her head and her emotions doing a little dance of anger and frustration. How to explain, how to be with them again? She hated to admit it, but she missed them all of them.
"Daniel!"
She had to catch up with him. She needed to at least try. She saw him standing, looking back at her from his car. He had heard her and was considering leaving. He should leave, but he could never do that to her. She was still like a sister to him, even after all this time. He still saw her that way. He closed the door to his car and walked towards her porch.
"Yeah?"
"Can't we just talk?"
"About what Sam?"
She thought about it for a while. She wanted to explain, but yet she knew she didn't have to explain her actions. It was her life, she would live it as she pleased and yet here she was trying to convince herself and Daniel that things could go back to the way they were. Just forget about the past and try to rekindle the friendship that was once there and she hoped still was.
"How about we start with the past five years?"
"Ok explain that to me because I'm lost."
"Daniel can't we just talk like we used to? I don't expect for you to just be happy and merry and return to being my friend. I know I hurt you guys, but of all people you should understand why I did it."
"I can understand wanting to have a life Sam. What I can't understand is you turning you back on us, your friends, your family."
"I needed to find a new life I needed to…"
"You ran away from us and from him."
That floored her, stopped her in her tracks. She saw nothing but truth in Daniel's eyes and she swallowed hard. Her mouth was dry and her eyes were beginning to shine with unshed tears. She closed them and fought against them until she could compose herself and then looked again at Daniel, with her mask firmly back in place.
"Don't Daniel."
"I remember how I had to apologize for not appearing to you while I was ascended. How you treated Jack after his return from Edora. How you were upset with us, with me because I didn't contact you and him because of Laira."
"That was different."
"Yes it was. I had to abide by the ancient's rules. When I contacted Jack and Teal'c it was because they were dying. Jack didn't know of your sacrifices to bring him home, but you knew us. There was no accident, there was no death. You chose to leave us out of your life."
"I never wanted that to happen."
"But it did happen Sam, and now things can't go back to the way they were. It doesn't work that way."
"It can if you let it."
"We can't forget how much it hurt us when you cut us out of your life Sam. We can't forget that and some of us won't."
"Jack."
"Like I said, some of us, not all of us. Just be ready to deal with that."
She nodded and smiled when she saw the way he looked at her. Daniel was a true friend, he had told her the truth and she could see it in his eyes. Not forgiveness, but a chance, a path to acceptance back into their lives. That is what she wanted, what she had missed. Friends were hard to find and when she had left them she had known that no one was going to take their place. There was just no way that was going to happen.
Daniel left and she entered her house, a new resolve, a new chance. She knew Daniel would talk to the others and like he said some of them would not forgive her, or would try not to, and yet some of them would welcome her back. Jack had showed himself to be friendly. She wondered if it was just an act or if he really didn't mind. Yet she didn't want to think about that. She couldn't think that way because she knew that if Jack O'Neill was just putting up a brave front, sooner or later he would explode.
April O'Neill yawned and looked at her dad making dinner. Sure she was tired but they had just finished a busy day, Father Daughter Day as her dad like to call it, special time when he just spent all day with her and they went to the park, or zoo. She liked it because it was the day he spent the most time with her. A whole day just her and him, no Daniel, Janet or Teal'c
"Okay kid, eat up."
"Dad?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you pick me up tomorrow from school?"
"No can do but I'll be home early."
"Can I go to the base?"
"Why would you want to go to that place? It's gray."
"I like it. Aunt Janet is there and so is Uncle Teal'c and Daniel and Siler and Walter has candy in his desk."
"Ha, I knew he kept a secret stash!"
"So can I?"
"You promise to say out of the way?"
"Daaaaad!"
Jack smiled. He knew his daughter knew how to stay out of the way and even knew how to maneuver around the SGC. She had practically grown up down there; it was like a second home to her. As they made plans and she finished her dinner, he sent her up to her room to get ready for bed. As he began to put the dinner plates away, he wondered what had happened with Daniel and Sam. Deciding to find out he dialed his number and waited.
"Hello?"
"Hey Daniel, how it go?"
"Same old, same old, had a bit of a heart to heart."
"That's good."
"Is it?"
"You tell me."
"To be honest I still care for Sam, Jack. She is like a sister to me, but I don't know… What do you think? You seem to be the one who is least affected by this."
"It doesn't matter what I think Danny, or how I feel."
"Ah the Jack O'Neill bravado."
"Hey I'm just being honest here. I honestly don't care. Have too much to deal with right now. Either way it's of no consequence."
"Wow. That's good, I think."
"DAD I'M READY!"
Daniel chuckled when he heard April's scream and Jack's groan. Before she went to bed April demanded to be tucked in by her dad. Saying their good byes Daniel wondered how the others were going to take the news. As Jack hung up and walked up the stairs the phone rang again and he cursed. It was so like Daniel to forget to tell him something.
"Dad!"
"Hold your horses! I need to get the phone. Hello?"
"Sir you're needed at the base."
"Walter, something wrong?"
"Ah hold on, sir."
He could hear voices in the back ground and then an all too familiar voice came from the speaker and he smirked.
"What's the matter Jack? You can't come greet an old friend?"
" Dad you know it's nothing like that. Just putting April to bed that's all."
"Ah then I can wait till tomorrow."
"It's not an emergency?"
"Just a visit and some reports from you know who."
"Ah got ya. Say I need to talk to you about something, ah, personal. Can You ask Walter to prepare a car for you and come to my place?"
"Anything wrong?"
"No actually some good news. And besides April would love to see her granddad."
"Ah you sure know how to get to an old man's heart. All right I'll be there in an hour."
"See ya then Jacob."
continued