~*~EDWARD~*~

A couple of days go by and I am exhausted from looking over Tucker's work and trying to decipher the codes that he was using in his alchemy journals. I've got some of them but the ones that are really important are double encrypted, which means that I have to think extra hard. Why is it that everything that I want to do is so damned hard? All I wanted was to get my mother back. What happened? I lost and arm, a leg, and my brother's body. I want to get our bodies back. What happens? I'm stuck in the military and I haven't gotten close to finding the Philosopher's Stone. Now, all I want is to get Fuery back to normal…

I finally shove the folder away from my face and get up to get something to drink. I find Al in the living room reading over some of the other encrypted journals as well. When he hears the door open, he lifts his head and his red eyes glow.

"Have you cracked it yet, Brother?"

"Not even close… why do you crazy people have to actually be so complicated at the same time?"

"I don't know…" he says with a small laugh. "There is some lunch on the table if you want any. Just sandwiches."

"Ah, great, I'm starved. How's the Colonel?"

"He's been up in his room all day. I haven't heard from him in a while…"

"I'll check up on him." I say, grabbing a sandwich and eating it on the way up.

As I go up the stairs, I have a strange feeling that something doesn't feel right. I shake it off but I go to the bathroom and make sure the Colonel isn't in there throwing up a kidney or something. It's all clear so I go to his room and knock on the door.

"Colonel? Yo, Colonel, you there?" I wait for another moment and frown. "Mustang?"

I open the door and turn on the light and drop my sandwich.

"AL, CALL THE AMBULANCE!" I scream as I run to Mustang.

I can hear Al clambering up the stairs noisily and he comes to the doorframe.

"Brother?"

"Call an ambulance right now."

He nods and goes back downstairs as I keep my hands wrapped around Mustang's arms and wrists. That jackass cut himself! I make Mustang's lolling head look at me and I forget his bleeding wrists for a moment to hold onto his face.

"Colonel, what have you done? What do you think you're doing?"

He just smiles softly and tries to lift his hand up but it only flops.

"I want to die, Fullmetal…" he says in a whisper.

"You can't just die! You can't give up!"

"Please…"

"NO! Dammit, you're the only father that Al and I got and I'm not gonna let you kill yourself!"

I hear Al come back upstairs. "Brother, they're on their way. What do you need me to do?"

"I need you to find the first aid kit so I can try to wrap his arms…"

I look back down at his wrists as blood seeps out slowly and tsk a little.

"God, Colonel… what's gotten into you?" I ask, looking at him as he stares at me through slits.

Al comes back up and we begin to bandage him up.

The ambulance comes and picks him up, taking him to the hospital. They will be contacting Hawkeye and Hughes since they are on his medical form to talk with in these situations. Why he would want to die is beyond me…

~*~MAES~*~

I slam the phone into the receiver and get up, grabbing my coat and throwing some papers onto the floor. Sheska looks up, startled.

"Lt. Colonel?"

"I have to go to the hospital. Hold all my calls and call Gracia for me. Tell her that Roy is back in there."

She nods quickly and I walk toward where Roy's office is and walk in. Riza and Havoc look up and smile.

"Lt. Colonel, what brings you here?" she asks.

"Roy's back in the hospital. I'll tell you about it on the way there. Ed's with him now."

"Havoc…" she says, not finishing her sentence.

Havoc nods and salutes. "I will hold down the fort for you sir."

She nods, getting her jacket on, and walking with me to the car.

"So you're saying that he cut his wrists to try and kill himself? Our Colonel Mustang?" Riza asks in shock as I drive through Central traffic.

"That's what the doctor said. Seems like he wanted to kill himself and cut pretty deep… Riza, this has to stop and we need to know what's going on. Do you think we could put him on medication?"

"And kill that thing that's inside of him? It might be a child…"

"Or it might be a monster. Would you risk it?"

"No… I honestly don't know what I'd do, Maes…"

I sigh as we pull into Central hospital and I get out to go in.

Once inside, we find Ed and Al waiting outside of the room. When Ed looks up and sees us, he turns away and shuffles his foot.

"How is he?" Riza asks.

"Stable." Al answers.

I look at Edward and walk over to him.

"You were supposed to keep him safe, Edward."

"I was…"

"Then explain all of this! Why is he back in the hospital?! I thought I could trust you with him!"

"You can! How was I supposed to know he'd try and kill himself?!" Ed yelled back. "It's not my fault that this happened, it's not my fault that I can't help him, and it's not my fault that I can't help Fuery!"

Riza stares at him in shock. "Ed?"

"I just… I can't. There's too much decoding and I can't get through it and... just… trying to help the Colonel and fixing Fuery and our bodies and it just…"

Now that I looked at him, I realized how exhausted he looked. He has probably spent the last couple of nights not sleeping but trying to decode Tucker's journals to the best of his ability. He's most likely been doing everything he can… The kid was smart as any brilliant scientist but his mind was still a child… he was only a child. Edward's eyes brimmed with tears and he looked away, embarrassed.

"I'm doing everything I can." He said softly.

"Please don't be mad at Brother, Mr. Hughes. I should have been watching as well and I didn't do anything." Al says, wringing his hands.

I run my hand through my hair and sigh.

"No, boys, I don't blame you for anything. You're right, Ed, and you had no control over this. I'm sorry I snapped at you." They nodded. "Can we see him?"

"He's not talking." Edward said sadly. "At least not to me…"

"I'll talk with him."

"I think it would be best if you cooled your head before you went in. I'll talk with him." Riza said, going toward the door.

She was right, I needed to clear my head.

~*~RIZA~*~

I walk into the room and see Roy hooked up to some machines as he stares blankly at the wall. At the sound of the door closing, he looks over and then away.

"You want to explain what this little stunt was supposed to be about, Colonel?" He is silent. "What did you think would be accomplished by this, sir?"

"Solace." He says, looking at me. "I don't want to live anymore."

"Why are you giving up, Colonel? You can't want to die that badly."

"You don't understand." He says softly.

"Help me understand then, sir. What am I supposed to do, read your mind? Talk to us and tell us what's going on but don't go and kill yourself like some mindless numbskull! What possessed you to think that this was the answer?!"

"I WANT TO DIE!" he yells at me, pointing to himself. "I iwant/i to die."

"But why? Please tell me why?"

"Look at me, Lieutenant. I'm not fit to serve the military, I'm carrying something that I don't even know is human, I'm weak… The military will be fine without Roy Mustang around."

"You're being hormonal, sir. This military force needs you too much to have you go out like this. Go out fighting like you do everything else. Fight it, Roy."

Roy just looks at me and lays back on his pillow, his eyes drooping a little from being sleepy.

"Please go, Lieutenant. I'll call if I need you."

"Sir-"

He turns away from me and I sigh. I get up and head toward the door but I stop at it and turn back.

"You asked me a few days ago if I'd hate you if you didn't try to live. I still don't hate you but sir, you've hurt me deeply. I'm very disappointed in you." I open the door and leave.

~*~MAES~*~

When I come back to check on Roy, I find Edward standing outside of his door, his head hanging. I sigh and walk up to the boy, touching his shoulder.

"Ed, I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"I know."

I start to go into the room but he blocks me.

"He's not ready to see you yet, sir."

"Edward-"

"He's not ready to see anyone."

I am about to get angry when I finally hear it and put my ear up to the door. I can hear the gut wrenching and tearful sobs coming from inside. I sigh and lay my forehead on the door.

"Hawkeye laid into him and he's been like that ever since."

"Where did she go?"

"I think she went home."

I nodded when I felt someone tug my coat and I looked back. Ed let my jacket go but I turned my attention to him fully.

"What is it, Ed?"

"I'm sorry that I'm not a good guardian. I tried… I really did…"

"Aw, Ed, I'm sorry. I was just upset about Roy, not really at you. I know you have been trying everything you can to fix all of this mess, and I should be grateful for it. You've done good despite the circumstances. Thank you…"

He nods and I pull him into a hug, something I would normally never do with the teen, but he doesn't pull away and I rub his back. He wraps his arms around me and I feel him shiver and I know he's trying not to cry.

"Aw, Ed…" I say, hugging him tighter to me as he finally begins to cry.

We stand in the middle of the hospital like that for a good while until Ed pulls away and wipes his eyes with his arm.

"I'm sorry… It's just, I can't get any sleep because I'm trying to help Fuery and the Colonel and I can't get me and Al back to normal and… I'm just a failure. I can't do anything."

"You're wrong, Edward. You're one of the most brilliant kids I've ever met. Both you and your brother; but just because you're brilliant doesn't mean you can find the answer to each and every thing that comes your way. You're only human and there is only so much one can do. Think about it this way: alchemy is assumed on equivalent exchange. One thing must equal the value of another to be an acceptable exchange. If a human only sleeps for three hours in six days, it will give the human that amount of strength and brain power." Edward looked up. "In other words, go home and get some sleep. I'll deal with Roy."

He nodded and began to walk away slowly but I knew it was what he needed. He's a good kid but even good little boys become bad when they haven't slept.