THE HERE AND NOW
CHAPTER 14
" RESIGNATION "
He was her most trusted friend and commanding officer. Her feelings had always been off when it came to him. Since the first day she'd met and challenged him, she'd known that the legendary Jack O'Neill was one individual she was not going to be able to handle. He was brash and exciting; he respected her and viewed her as a soldier and a scientist. Her gender came last and she had to admit that she felt like a fool after that whole incident.
More so when she barfed on the other side of the gate. Sam had learned that this man did not lie when it came to things regarding his people, or soldiers under his command. He was hard headed and strong willed. She'd thought he would make fun of the fact that after her bravado, she had done exactly what his men had said she would do. Yet when the moment came and none of his men made fun of the situation to say she was surprised would have been an understatement.
Jack O'Neill was not like most soldiers, not the type she had encountered in her early days at the Academy. And the ones that followed this man were extraordinary in their own way. She respected him for it. He didn't condescend to her; he didn't treat her any differently or give special care to her. She was a soldier under his command, and she was expected to perform like her training had prepared her to. That is all that he ever asked.
She could still smile at the fact that, unlike others, he always gave them time to analyze and look over ruins and devices. Even when she forgot her military training and got submerged in her scientist mode he always gave her slack, but she never thought he did it because she was a woman or because she was a scientist. He did it to be fair because with Daniel on his team he needed to balance them out and give them their respective time frames.
She was lucky to have learned from him and as she walked towards his office she repeated the words she was going to speak to him. She would tell him that she was going to marry Pete that she was going to go to Denver with her fiancée, get married and live happily ever after. She'd wanted this for a long time now and it was time to get it together, her dream of having a family.
"Sir."
"Carter? Hey what's up?"
She was somber just standing in his doorway not taking a step towards him and not taking a step backwards. Her courage faltered and he knew that whatever was going to happen, it was going to be bad. For whom, he didn't know. Taking a deep breath, he motioned for her to step inside his office and sit down.
"I want to resign."
"Oh?"
She closed her eyes and began to fiddle with her forms, handing them to him. She saw his expression and knew this was going to be one hell of a battle. He threw the papers on his desk and closed his eyes, trying to understand what the hell was going on.
"Pete and I... we want to start a family."
"And this involves you leaving the SGC?"
"It involves me leaving Colorado Springs."
"What? You're moving? Carter, Hell, do you realize what you're asking of me?"
She did and that was why she was asking him, because if anyone would take her resignation he would. She knew that and she would use that to her advantage. She would use him, her friend, if she had to. She was going to use the one man who meant too much to her. She swallowed hard trying not to vomit, to get the bitter taste of her mouth.
"Please Sir, I... I need to do this."
He would accept it because it was her; he would do this for her because of the way he felt for her. She wanted to die, using his emotions against him, using him to shield her, to protect her. She had to deliver the final nail, the final words that would make him take her forms, that would give her her resignation.
"I love him sir."
She tried to hide the surprise she felt at seeing the hurt in his eyes, she tried so hard to ignore him, but she failed. She saw him pick the forms up, read them through and give her a second set, copies of her discharge. She smiled and thanked him. As soon as she was in the hallway, she ran and never looked back.
She was happy with her life. Her only regret was that it meant leaving her friends behind, but it was nice to have someone to hold her, to talk to, to be there for her and to tell her that he loved her. Her new life was nice, she loved it and she hated it, what she had done, the way she had left, the way she had ended her nine year relationship with her friends and family.
Yet a new life was what she wanted. Her old life and her ties to it were of no importance. After all, she was never going to see them again, right ...