THE HERE AND NOW

CHAPTER 16

"BROKEN"

How would you feel if all your life people had told you that whenever you hit hard time you could always count on them and then when the time came they let you down? Would it hurt? Would it make you feel betrayed and lost, would it make you doubt that person's sincerity and honesty? Fact is one's reaction could not be determined.

Hurt would be an accurate way to describe it. Hurt at seeing the person who promised to look out for you and be there for you shun you away and find comfort in another, when you yourself need that comfort, when she had promised to give it to you and then didn't. You would be hurt and betrayed and would distance yourself from that person.

Cassandra Frasier felt like that. Samantha Carter had always promised to be there for her and now she had found comfort in another and for all intents and purposes, Cassandra felt left out. She was no longer Sam's friend, she was a guest in her home and even though she knew this was not the truth, she couldn't help but feel as if it was and that hurt.

In confidence and without letting Sam know, she went to the one man whom she could call father. She spoke to him and even though he did not understand why she would want to do this, he could not deny her.

"It's the right thing to do."

"Sure, kid, sure…"

"Oh come on Jack! I don't want to be the third wheel. You know it feels weird enough as it is and then what if I wake up and… oh gross mental picture!"

She shivered and Jack smiled. Sure he knew the whole deal, hell even he didn't want to picture anything, but the thing was he knew the girl's whole laid back attitude and voice was an act. One he knew all to well and it hurt him to see her like this. He just wished he could help her.

"Yeah, yeah. I get the picture. Ah Cass, you know this is going to hurt Carter, right? You're like a daughter to her."

"Yeah, but oh come on Jack we both know and I think you will agree, that I do not need to be there when the whole night thing starts happening."

"Too much information Cass, way too much info!"

"Serves you right!"

They discussed this for a couple of more days. In truth he wanted to give the girl more time. She needed more time to think about her decision and yet he knew she wouldn't change her mind and he couldn't do any thing to change it for her. He would have to see Carter and tell her, even though she herself had been on the aloof side of things.

Cassandra knew Jack's act all too well, hence why she would not pressure him to go and talk to Sam. He would do it when the time was right and when she dropped subtle hints. Until then, she would have to keep living in Sam's house and would have to keep a smiling face and act normal. After all, Sam wasn't herself, she didn't want to add to whatever was distracting Sam.

"Cass, dinner is ready."

"Coming Sam!"

Entering the kitchen she smiled at the woman serving her dinner. Some times things appeared to be the way they used to be, but when the front door opened and a man entered the house Cassie felt like an intruder and Sam could tell. Cassandra might be a good actor, but not as good as Jack.

"Cass it's going to be ok. I just want you to get accustomed?"

"I know, it's weird you know."

"You'll get used to it. That's why I want him to be here? So you can get to know him and stuff."

"Yeah, whatever…"

Pete entered and there was silence. A silent dinner and nothing more. Sam tried to start up conversations, but failed and Cassie could feel the tension rising. She didn't know if she was the cause of it, or if it was between Sam and Pete. All she knew was that she needed to get out of there and so she excused herself despite Sam's protest.

"You ok, honey?" (Who's talking here?)

"I just… I don't know how to help her…"

"You're doing enough Sam. Don't push yourself."

"It's frustrating, you know? This whole situation is!"

"Hey, hey, calm down. It's going to be okay."

It wasn't and she couldn't tell Pete what was bothering Cassandra. She couldn't tell him how every time he came home, Cassie would go to her room, how uncomfortable it was for her to sleep with him in the same bed knowing Cassie was in the house and how somehow she felt like she was doing something wrong. Closing her eyes she let Pete hold her and she was just glad that there was someone there to do so.

"Sometimes I… I just don't know Pete…"

When Janet had been hurt, Sam's world had frozen. She could have died. Janet was in an emergency room, her state critical and all she could do was wait and hope that she wouldn't die. She dreaded the thought of telling Cassie that her second mother had died, she hated that fact, but luckily Janet didn't die and Cassie was okay. They were okay.

"She is going to be fine, Cass."

She remembers telling her in the hospital room were just a few feet away, Janet and Jack's bodies were.

"I just... I wish I could…"

She had understood the girl's pain and as Cassie left to go get coffe, Sam had wandered into Jack O'Neill's room and found comfort in his arms.

"When that staff blast hit you…"

There had been no need for words but the embrace ended all to soon. As she stepped out of the room she'd smiled at Cassie and the girl handed her a cup of coffe.

"Jack ready?"

"He will be in a minute."

Her cell phone rings and Cassie looked on wondering who it was. She had though it was Daniel or Teal'c, but when Sam smiled apologetically to her and turned away she knew who it was.

"Yes, I'm sorry, I'll see you in a few."

"Sam?"

Samantha Carter's eyes had told her all she needed to know. The blonde smiled apologetically and put away her phone

"I need to go. I'll drop you and Jack off."

"Where you going?"

"I forgot I've got this thing…"

"Oh."

Her tears come now and Pete hugs Sam closer to him. He wondered why and what was going on and while Sam just cursed in her mind. She knew that things were not going to be okay. Not since that day. No, that day was when it all had gone to hell in a hand basket, when things had began to change.

"I just don't know how to deal with her. Sometimes I just…"

"Shhh, it's okay Sam."

Cassie called Jack that night and told him that it just wasn't working out and he told her that it was okay, that he would talk to Carter that same week. Cassie hung up the phone and glanced at her door. Later, she wished she hadn't gotten thirsty when she did. Then maybe she wouldn't have heard them talking.

As promised, next morning Cassie could see the worry on his face. She had thought that stopping by would give Jack an extra push. Yet, now looking at him, she saw nothing but worry. He didn't know how he was going to handle this, she knew that much, but she also knew that he would do it for her.

"You okay?"

"Shouldn't I be asking that?"

"This is going to be hard. Carter is Carter, you should know that."

Cassie's eyes were sad and he changed the subject, asking her about when was she moving in and when was she going to start packing? The girl smiled grateful that Jack had changed the way the conversation was heading and after a while Jack was out the door and she was in his home cleaning out his old guest room, that would soon be her own.

"Carter, can I talk to you?"

"Sir?"

"Yeah I... well it's kind of... look, can I drop by your place? I think it will be easier."

"What's going on?"

"It's about Cassie."

She stood in her living room waiting for her commanding officer to arrive. Cassie had done something, or had told him something that now he needed to tell her. Was it something about Cassie's boyfriend, was she pregnant? Was that why she was acting so weird? Sam didn't know, but as the all too familiar truck approached her home, she found herself filled with worry.

Jack's face was somber and resigned. It didn't give anything away, but she could tell what he was about to tell her was anything but good news. Sitting down beside him, she could feel the conflict the man was having. He was nervous even if his body said otherwise. He was beyond nervous and filled with worry. What ever it was, it seemed Colonel O'Neill didn't know how to approach the subject.

"Sir, what ever Cassie has done I'm sure…"

"She wants to move out."

"Huh?"

"She doesn't want to be here with you... and him."

"I don't think she is old enough to go out on her own, sir. I mean, sure she is going to the local college but... she is not…"

"Carter… she's coming to stay with me… I'm sorry."

"It's okay I..."

"Look it's just that… well it's kind of weird, I mean you can…"

"It's better this way."

He could hear that Carter's voice was filled with determination. She was a good actress, but she couldn't fool him and he could see there was something more on her face. Her eyes, they were filled with hurt and sadness. This was killing her. He was going to reach for her, but stopped. This was too close. He wasn't the one whom she had chosen to be there for her, he was just her friend.

"I'm sorry Carter."

"Don't be. I mean she is right after all. Me and Pete and all… Yeah this is for the best."

She was putting up a brave front. She was being strong and trying to move on as soon as possible, trying to see things from the positive and not the negative side. Yet even though he understood that and could see it in her eyes, Cassie could not. From the next room she could only hear, not see the woman who was hurting just as much as she was.