"You don't know how it feels,
To be me."
You Don't Know How It Feels, Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers

The beautiful thing about Stark Towers was that it was so large, if one didn't want to spend time with other occupants, they were easily avoided.

Loki preferred to spend his time hidden away in the library, or shut in what had become he and Tony's room with a good book. There were plenty of them in Stark Towers; the library was so vast and had so many shelves hidden in nooks and crannies and crevices that Loki was never short of reading material. Sometimes Thor would seek him out, but there was never much conversation between the two brothers. Occasionally, Loki would stumble across one or more of Tony's comrades. Those exchanges were brief and sarcastic and sharp, unless it was Banner – on occasion they'd have short conversations about something Loki had learned from a book or the research Banner was currently executing – but even those were coldly formal, more professional that friendly. Loki would generally get bored around mid-afternoon, when he would wander down to Tony's workshop. They didn't often speak much; Loki enjoyed to sit cross-legged and watch the shorter man tinker with some contraption or other, his brow furrowing while he concentrated, his face cracking into a grin when he finally achieved whatever it was he was trying to achieve.

Incidentally, today was one of the days where Thor came looking for conversation. He found Loki cross-legged on the floor of the library, books and notes spread in a circle around him, chewing thoughtfully on the end of a pencil as he read a heavy leather-bound book in front of him. Thor was careful not to tread on any of his brother's jottings. He'd learned the hard way that this was probably the best way to grate Loki's nerves. He sat in a similar position on the other side of Loki's ring of knowledge. Loki looked up briefly, frowning, then went back to his work.

"How are you, brother?" Thor asked, never able to be patient and quiet.

"Working," Loki replied, but Thor refused to take the hint.

"What are you studying? It looks most tedious," Thor frowned at a sheet of equations and numbers.

"Astrophysics. It's not tedious," Loki huffed. "That damned girl you are so fond of doesn't seem to think so, anyway – this is what she studies."

"Do not speak ill of Jane," Thor warned, though there was no threat to his voice. "What she explained to me as her studies was something beautiful, about the stars and the planets in this solar system – not… this... not… numbers."

"It is beautiful, Thor. This," Loki indicated his notes. "Is extended beyond just this solar system. Do you not remember the stories Heimdall would tell us when we were young? They were what the mortals would call astrophysics, though of course beyond human understanding. It's amazing – the numbers and equations you criticize so readily can explain everything, applied in the right context. They explain how the Bifrost works and how and why the Convergence happens and… there's just this one thing… I just can't work it out… perhaps Anthony would be able to help…" he was talking more to himself than Thor now, but the older man still continued.

"You are taken with the Man of Iron," Thor remarked, earning him a withering look.

"Yes," Loki said, curtly.

"And for all you mocked me for being taken with a mortal," Thor teased, with a smirk. Loki scowled.

"Anthony is different," he insisted.

"Why?" Thor wanted to know. "What does Stark have that Jane does not?"

"Really? Must I really go into the basics of anatomy with you? I thought you more intelligent than that…" Loki began, trying to change the subject. Now it was Thor's turn to frown.

"That is not what I meant, and you know it," he said. "You have always made your dislike of mortals quite clear. What is so different about the Man of Iron that you should be so infatuated with him?"

Loki just shrugged, pretending to not pay attention. He read the same line in the book over and over, and still did not feel Thor's burning gaze leave him.

"Tony is different," Loki said, quietly. "Because… because he's just that. Different. He makes me laugh, we share the same sense of humour. And I can hold an intellectual conversation with him, something uncommon in mortals – even in Asgardians. And… and he understands."

"What does he understand?" Thor said, softly. It was rare he saw this side of his brother – the soft, vulnerable side, the readily caring and affectionate side. Usually the only person who saw this was Frigga. Loki sighed heavily, a sad, weary noise that said more than his words ever would.

"He understands me, Thor," Loki said, swallowing. "He does not pretend my flaws do not exist, but he doesn't characterise me on those alone. He accepts both my shortcomings and strengths. I'm not perfect, Thor, I know I'm not. And Tony doesn't mind that. He doesn't expect perfection from me, one of the first people I've met who thinks that way. And… and the way he looks at me… the way he holds me and kisses me and touches me… he makes me feel good. He makes me feel beautiful."

There was quiet between the two men for a while. Loki mentally cursed himself for showing such weakness and vulnerability, and began to hastily gather his things.

"Loki. Brother…" Thor began.

"I'm going to bed," Loki told him, shortly, before heading out of the library and up to Tony's bedroom.

He found the mortal man waiting for him, sitting cross-legged on the bed. He smiled, though there was a definite sad look in his eyes.

"Hey, Lo," he said, softly. "C'mere. Come sit down."

Loki took a seat next to the smaller man, and Tony began to kiss his neck.

"I heard all that, what you said to Thor," Tony said. "It was lovely."

"Have you been spying on me?" Loki asked, but there was no anger to his voice – it was just a question, not a demand.

"Only 'cause I can't get enough of seeing your pretty face," Tony chuckled.

Loki said nothing. One hand came up to mesh in Tony's hair, the other resting on his thigh. Tony smiled, his lips at Loki's collarbone now.

"I actually thought that's what Thor was coming to talk to you about. You and I, I mean," he said. "I got the talk earlier."

"The talk?" Loki repeated. "What talk? What about?"

"You know," Tony smirked, peering at Loki's face. "The standard over-protective big brother talk. I believe his exact words were 'my brother is quite taken with you and I have no qualms – truly, I am happy for you. But know this, Man of Iron – if you ever break Loki's heart, the consequences will be most severe.' Basically 'if you hurt my baby brother, I'll break your legs.'"

"Oh dear Lord," Loki rolled his eyes. "I apologise for him. I do not think he realises that I am most capable of standing up for myself. Sometimes I get the notion he still thinks me a child."

"Yeah. Right. Hey, how old are you exactly?" Tony was curious. He knew there was a three-year age gap between the brothers, but then, he didn't know how old Thor was either.

"How old do I look?" was Loki's reply, smirk in place, one eyebrow raised.

"Uh… I dunno…" Tony studied him. "Twenty-seven?"

"Then we'll go with twenty-seven," Loki chuckled. They were now lying, entwined in each other's arms on the bed.

"I actually thought Thor was going to kill me at one point," Tony chuckled. "I uh… I might have made a comment… something about the shower this morning."

"Oh, and let me guess," Loki smiled. "He got mad because how dare you defile me in such a way."

"Pretty much," Tony nodded. It was odd really; all of the shit Loki had done – mass murder to say the least – and Thor was still shocked at the idea of his baby brother having sex. It was an odd notion, to think of Loki as innocent and pure, when Tony knew so well to the contrary. Loki was truly the best sexual partner he'd had, so responsive, so elegant in his movements, so open-minded. Tony had been almost shy when he'd regaled some of his fetishes to the dark-haired demigod, but Loki was more than willing to be spanked or to wear leather handcuffs. And he managed to hold his regal dignity through it all. It was one of the most beautiful things about him, his ability to stay dignified.

"I love you, Lo," Tony whispered, and Loki smiled.

"And I love you, Anthony," he whispered.