CHAPTER 27
"EMOTIONAL CHAOS"
"Is there Heaven?"
"Huh?"
"April told me that her mom was in Heaven."
She remembered the incident all to well. Now looking at her son beside her, she realized just how much time had gone by; and how O'Neill seemed to not have aged a day. He seemed as he always was, unchanged, untouched by time. Yet she could see the lines on her face, the white in her blond hair. She was getting older and yet for Jack, it seemed time had stopped.
"Yes she is."
"Oh so Heaven is real?"
"For some people, many people believe that when you die or anyone else dies they come back as another animal or human."
"Oh… many beliefs?"
"Exactly. It depends on what you believe in."
"What do we believe in mom?"
She smiled and wondered if she had been like this when she was little; and how her mom had handled her. Such an inquisitive child, so many questions, so many ways to answer him, and so many ways of getting him completely confused in the process. He might be smarter than most kids, but he was a child none-the-less.
"Whatever you wish to believe in, it's your choice. I believe in science but I also think there is something more out there."
"Oh… ok."
"So why did April tell you about her mom?"
"I was feeling sad 'cause of Dad."
She knew that much. The divorce was under way and she was not dealing with it as well as she had hoped. Aron was no better. Her so-called husband's actions were hurting him more than Aron let on. She wondered if Pete even considered Aron's feelings when making decisions. She was confused; Pete had been nothing like this in Denver, he had been just the opposite. Now it seemed he was at his worst, with little consideration for her or Aron's feelings. Looking towards Aron, she raised an eyebrow.
"And now?"
"Not so much!"
He smiled up at her and she found herself raising both eyebrows in surprise. That was no fake smile on his face. He was genuinely smiling.
"Oh?"
"I still get to see dad. April can't see her mom… not never and she isn't sad."
"Oh I see… so she cheered you up?"
"Yeah. She's nice."
Sam smiled. Jack had raised one hell of a girl, that was for sure. She just hoped she was doing as well as him. The problem was that unlike Jack, who had Janet as a mother figure, Aron had no such thing; his father was aloof at best. Work took up most of his time and the time he did spend with Aron, he tried to get him to take up sports that Aron didn't like, such as baseball or football. Aron wasn't the athletic type and Pete had little or no patience.
She remembered many times where Aron would be crying, and Pete would simply grunt and walk inside to cool off, leaving her to tend to Aron. She had wondered many times, and thought about his behavior; yet those instances were rare and since they didn'tsee each other that much anyway. Aron needed someone to be caring and at the same time understanding and not push him into things he didn't like.
Somehow she knew that Jack was just like that. Janet had once told her that some men were just born to be good parents, while others just wanted to have kids because they had insecurities or just to have a child to reaffirm their marriage. Sam had been thinking about this ever since Janet had mentioned it, and now, five years into her marriage, she found that her friend might have been on to something all those years ago.
"Mom do I have to go visit dad today?"
"Why?"
"I want to go to April's house!"
"Why?"
"Can I? Please?"
"Ok, what's going on mister?"
She noticed her son's hesitation which meant that there was something good going on at the girl's house and yet she wondered what could be so good in the eyes of her son who was as close to a nerd as she ever was. He only had a slight Pete streak in him
"April's dad is teaching the school kids how to play hokey."
"Street hokey?"
"Yeah and he's teaching April how to skate and rollerblade."
This was weird. She knew Aron didn't like sports.
"And you want to learn? Why? You never like sports before."
"If I can't skate, I can't disappoint Jack 'cause he's not my dad!"
His logic was sound. Pete did pressure Aron a lot; she had never thought that it had affected Aron this much. Now she was beginning to see that it did affect him; she gripped the steering wheel tighter and cursed herself. She should have been a better mother, she should have noticed, but she never had and now she didn't know if she had been aware all along and just didn't want to see it, because it would have meant something she hadn't been ready to accept.
She'd never been good at accepting things. It was a bad thing, to have an ego when people's lives depended on her decisions, yet now she knew that wasn't so anymore. Still she wanted to forget all that, to just be happy with the decisions she had made and up until now she had been, up to a certain point, but was that enough? She didn't know.
"Okay, then I'll see if we can work something out."
"Okay."
"Honey you don't have roller blades."
"General Jack has extra pairs."
Jack O'Neill groaned. Friday 2:30 in the afternoon and he was still stuck working. That was just great. He was supposed to be home at three. Now, it seemed he was going to be a bit late and why? It was all thanks to SG-3 and their so-called grand discovery, a broken down old ship that seemed to be Ancient. Glancing at Daniel, he could already see the gleam and excitement on the man's face. Teal'c was as passive as ever and Hailey was just reading the report. Glancing at Reynolds and Harrington, he could see the same excitement on their faces, the same thrill Daniel had and he didn't like it. The more exited they got, the more mistakes they would make.
He needed to end this soon. Janet was going to kill him if he didn't get home and soon. She wasn't into handling kids, at least, not so many at the same time. Cassie was good with them, but had a short fuse, bad combination. Glancing at the report and the two SG-3 members, he knew they had finished their report and were waiting for him to say something, unfortunately he had heard almost nothing of what they had said. Lucky him, he had his ace in the hole.
"Hailey?"
"Risk minimum, advantages lots and maybe we can bring McKay into it."
"That good?"
"It's a war cruiser sir!"
"Ancients built war machines?"
"Good ones at that sir."
"Okay, Reynolds, you and your team go fetch McKay from Atlantis, then get ready to be joined by SG-1 and whoever Weir sticks you with."
They were all satisfied with that so he stood and rushed towards his office, less than 20 minutes to get ready and go meet Janet. He could make it, yeah he could make it, he just needed to hurry up. Yet when Daniel walked into his office and proceed to follow him he groaned, this was either a lecture or a request, either way he didn't want to hear it. But being friends for such a long period of time gave Daniel the right to meddle with him all he wanted and for a moment Jack cursed the friendship clause that allowed it.
"So Jack, you coming with us?"
"Don't go off world any more Danny."
"Jack, do I have to mention why we want you to come with?"
"Daniel don't start."
"You have a natural flare for using ancient technology Jack! You have to come."
"Sheppard is good at it."
"Jack…"
"I'll talk to Janet about it."
"Thank you."
Jack O'Neill was not a happy camper. He knew what Janet's response would be and he knew Cassie's as well. Yet he had to admit going off world would feel good and Sparkplug had said risk was minimal, so maybe they would not object too much. Now rushing home, he saw the bunch of kids he was supposed to be playing with frowning at him. Yeah, sure, arrive 10 minutes late and they would be monsters instead of angels and then he saw it, a patch of blond hair and the all too familiar car parked in his driveway. Parking his truck, he frowned when he saw the kids looking at his house strangely; even April was out here walking towards them. He looked at the worried face of April and frowned. When he got out he heard the voices, the really loud almost screaming voices, coming from inside his house. Bending down he picked her up and glanced at the others. All eyes were on him and as the kids were about to talk, he raises his hand to stopped them. He didn't need all of them to talk at the same time.
"April what's going on?"
"Cassie got angry."
"Oh...OH ...ah… well lets see what's wrong ok?"
"Aunt Janet is mad."
"I know honey I'll straighten every thing out."
"Can I stay out here? I don't like it when they fight."
He looked at the yard full of kids and frowned. He couldn't leave them out here alone; that would be irresponsible. A small tap on his shoulder and he turned to the blue eyed ex colonel who smiled shy at him.
"I can watch them."
"Y-yeah… thanks Carter."
How was he going to deal with this, it was too much too soon and he hated her for it. Everything had been fine, everything was peachy and then she came back, waltzing right into their lives no warning, no nothing, just here I come and that is all; I'm here deal with it. What a brash attitude. He disliked that, hated it, but he couldn't blame her could he? Right now he didn't know, honestly he didn't, because his emotions were all over the place. He felt as he had always felt, attracted to her. Even now she was still Sam Carter and he was damn sure he still cared for her.
He was of course a good actor, he didn't show it, couldn't afford to; he was hurt. He buried every thing, yet it was eating him up. He was angry at her, he hated her, he knew that much. Mixed feelings were a bitch; but she had stolen that from him. She had cheated him out of a confrontation she had run away and he had let her run away.
"Cassandra Frasier!"
"What?"
"What is going on here?"
"Jack, thank God! Can you please deal with her?"
Janet Frasier's tired and exasperated expression was enough to tell Jack that Cassie was being a pain. The girl was a good kid, but had a mean streak like no other; he had seen that over the years. Much like all teens she had been rebellious and callous towards Janet. Now that she was an adult however, it seemed Janet's authority had started to diminish. His however was ever firm hence why Janet was pointing at Cassie. He needed to deal with her yet again. How do you deal with a young woman who is dead set on something?
"I don't need to be dealt with. I need her out of here!"
Jack turned toward his window that gave view to the outside and frowned, Samantha Carter. That was Cassie's problem. Things had never been resolved, feelings were still hurt and anger was ever present with them.
"April's befriended Aron. You want to tell her she can't see her friend?"
"Cassie, Jack lower your voices."
Janet was frustrated and angry. This situation was not one she had foreseen. Who would have thought that Samantha Carter would pull up in Jack's driveway? She didn't even know that Sam had been coming. Glaring at Jack, she waited for an explanation and the man frowned. This was not good he knew that much. Having two angry women in his house. Somehow whenever he'd pictured two women in his house, he hadn't see them angry at him, nor had he expected them to be his somewhat friend/mother/nagging wife and the other the adoptive daughter of the said friend/mother/nagging wife.
"Ok, ok. Look. Everyone calm down! There are kids outside and I for one don't want my neighborhood to know I have issues with my family."
"If you get her out of here every thing will be fine."
"Cassandra!"
"What? Mother don't tell me you're happy to see her here."
"I'm surprised, as a certain gray haired General forgot to even mention the fact that said ex colonel was coming."
"I didn't know."
That surprised them. His voice was sincere and Cassie's smirk made Janet frown, she was being vindictive towards Sam, not good. As for Jack, he just looked exhausted. He was not as good at dealing with this as he should have been. Janet knew that she should have talked about it as well, but they had let it die. Had never brought up the subject of Sam and her life, they had buried her and let the bad feelings fester up inside. That was never good and now they were seeing what it had done to Cassie. She was angrier than before. Taking a seat Janet held her face in her hands, what the hell had gone wrong with all of them? She didn't know.
They were Sam's friends, and even if she had made the decision to leave and be with Pete, they should still have tried. They hadn't, they'd been too hurt and too bitter that she had betrayed them like that, had not said a thing, not even included them in her life. Truth was, they had been as hurt as she was, perhaps even more and they had never once thought about why. They just thought about the betrayal and hurt and never considered Sam's own hurt and her own feelings. Taking a deep breath she glanced at Jack and Cassie. They were still going at it.
She had had enough, she might not like what Sam had done, but she didn't dislike the person. Janet couldn't dislike Sam; she was her best friend. Glancing out the window, she saw her standing there with Aron and April, the other kids long gone. Taking a deep breath, she walked out of the house, much to the surprise of Cassie and Jack. Glancing out the window, they saw Janet sit beside Sam on the front lawn.
"Figures."
"Cassie!"
She was gone up the stairs and into her room. Closing his eyes, Jack shook his head. This was beginning to feel like a nightmare. Cassie was going to be mad at Janet for a long while after this and now seeing Janet and Sam awkwardly sitting together, he felt betrayed by Janet. Why? Out of all of them, he had been the one who was hurt the most. Now the wound was reopening and as hard as he tried to keep it closed, it wouldn't stop and it hurt even more.
"Maybe I will be going off world." He said to himself and went to the kitchen.
Outside, Sam was nervous. Her mouth was dry; she did not know what to do. All she could think about was the woman sitting beside her. Once her best friend, Janet now scared the hell out of her. She did not know what she should say to her. Would she be angry? Would she be like Daniel or Teal'c? Or Jack? Janet's kindness made her somehow realizejust how much she had hurt the petite doctor. They were sisters; they had each other's backs, they cried on one another's shoulder.
If she was hurt, Janet would be there for her to always lend an ear. If she was jealous of Jack and some woman, Janet would be there. As was Sam for Janet, yet she had left her, had left her only sister. Sam frowned, a small tear escaping her eyes. She looked down at the grass and took a deep breath. She had to open the door, to say something, yet before she could say it; Janet as always beat her to the punch.
"So what have you been doing with your life?"
Sam smiled and wiped the tear away. She wanted to hug the woman but knew it was to soon. She just smiled and turned to look at Aron and April, a small smile on her lips.
"Learning to be a mother."
"How's that working for you?"
That was such a Jack thing to say that Sam felt her stomach tighten. Janet had been with Jack, had been there for him, while she had not. She glanced at Janet, but the doctor was watching April and Aron. She couldn't face her, not yet and Sam knew just who Janet had replaced her with, the signs were all there. Jack had been there for Janet when she was hurt, sad and lonely. It all came back to that man and Sam wondered if she would ever be able to escape his love.
"Not too bad I think."
Janet smiled and for a moment it felt like old times.
Continued